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Sunday, October 18, 2015

Hierarchy versus Equality


Once you embark on a DD FLR, is 'equality' an obsolete notion? Granted a BDSM M/s or TPE, and even D/s relationships are based on intentional inequality. Is DD different? Many would say it is, but I'm not so sure. Granted there might be more sharing and negotiating in a DD arrangement than a more extreme relationship, but doesn't the mere fact that one party has disciplinary authority over the other substantially tip the scales?

The thing about equality is that it is a quantitative  absolute. If you have two equal things in balance, you need only add one grain of sand to one side to tip the scales. I suppose once one embraces the inequality, then everyone can argue or evaluate the degree of the inequality. That I can understand better than maintaining the notion of egalitarianism by virtue of qualifying the balance by saying, "well we just have different roles, but they balance each other out." That just seems like a rationalization for someone reluctant to accept inequality as a valid option.


6 comments:

  1. Hi KD. I agree with you. The reality is, very few (if any) human relationships are really equal. I think what distinguishes DD is that the inequality is thought out and intentional. It also isn't always the case that the person who is naturally the most "Type A" or "Alpha" is the one on top in a DD and FLR relationship. In our marriage, I am pretty clearly the most naturally domineering in most areas of my life. For that very reason, we have placed her in charge. Now, I could equivocate and say that in the big picture, our arrangement results in more equality because it moderates my natural tendency to dominate and empowers her to an extent that isn't her natural bent. But, while that is technically true, it is in the context of her telling me what to do and punishing me for bad actions. So, she is in control and empowered to be the top person in the relationship.

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    1. As we've discovered many times in the past, your pattern and ours are very alike....though admittedly not identical. What you describe could very well be attributed to us, And, as always, thanks for contributing.

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  2. Whatever you guys are talking about I guess its ok with me but as far as my hubby goes I just like taking his pants down down or every so often pulling his skirt up an giving a good over the knee spanking till he is bawling like a big baby, He rreally knows how to behave then. Jan

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    1. Hi, Jan. I have noticed throughout my life and with numerous people that subs are way more analytical as a rule than Tops. Rosa is just like you, though she will have discussions with me on topics, but most things for her are very straightforward. Perhaps it's because subs endlessly rationalize and examine their motives for submission? Anyway, I suppose there's room for both your simple, direct approach and time afterwards to ponder what it all means.

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    2. kd, alls I know he has been a naugthy boy or girl what ever the case may be and my hairbrush cure the problem. Later Jan

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  3. Love the discussion and hot image too..

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