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RULES FOR POSTING COMMENTS: This blog is meant to be interactive. Please utilize the comment feature to respond to posts that prompt a reaction. You do not have to agree with me to post, but I do ask that your comment pertain to the post itself. I also ask that "anonymous" guests attach some sort of name to their comments so readers can tell everyone apart. (If you cannot follow these simple rules, your post may be DELETED or at the very least mocked for the entertainment of those who can respect my guidelines.)

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Huzzah!

With September almost here, I am already preparing for our annual backyard RenFaire. Every year I try to add new things and new twists. I will post more as we get closer to the event but yesterday I asked my neighbor who I always refer to as "Marta", if she would be willing to be the official "sergeant-at-arms/disciplinarian". She agreed pretty quickly. Her duty will be to spank those sent to the stocks with a new wide slapper I made for the occasion.

I told her we chose her because she is the perfect combination of a likable and trustworthy person who we could trust would not go overboard...........while not having too much guilt about swatting a few behinds either. She agreed.

Of course Rosa was there and kept teasing us both about how she would make sure that I ended up in the stocks so that Marta would have a good shot at me before that day was out! (I don't doubt it!)

As this happy fellow can attest............"it's good to be king!"

Friday, August 26, 2016

Spelunkers

Rosa and I visited a cave today with our gang. The best thing about it was the cool temperature inside versus what was waiting for us outside! Unfortunately the cave itself was not........magnificent. Interesting in spots, but nothing to really impress.

However, I will admit that there was something about being in there that made me think kinky thoughts. Caves just seem ideal places to go a little weird and wild. 


We even saw a limestone wall amazingly similar to this one.......albeit without the lovely tourists posing in front of it:


Anyway, I do have a soft spot for caves and the things within. Today's cave however, would probably be more impressive if converted into a dwelling. It would make a very cool home in more ways than one. Although the echoes from one of Rosa's spankings would probably trigger a cave-in!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Power of 3

The number three has an interesting history. (see link) But while three can be traditional, mystical, magical, and even scientific, there are those who think "three is a crowd". Not so in spanking circles! Images, fantasies, and even real adventures are fraught with three people being involved in some way. Here are a few images of various gender combinations and age situations and artistic styles representing a few of the permutations of spanking with three participants:
the traditional spanking with the 'accidental' witness


the invited or permitted witness

the smug witness with a little surprise of their own

the witness who helps out

or who helps out..........while being next in line?

or maybe the current witness was first in line?

Two simultaneous spankers and a male victim?

How about two simultaneous spankers and one female victim?

.....or two simultaneous victims and one spanker?

Hell..........why not just have three victims?

or three beaten butts?

And if you like multiples..............I suppose there is no need to stop at three..........magical as it might be.
















Monday, August 22, 2016

My answers

I figured it was about time I answered my own “25 things you never needed to know about me, that now you do.” Q&A. It seems only fair although I had hoped more visitors would have given it a shot. Still, it's not too late. So if you are feeling a bit bold.....go for it! In the meantime, here are my answers:

1.How old were you when you first realized you were kinky? 6 or 7

2.Will you eat something if it falls on the floor? Depends on the food and floor….but within reason…yes

3.Have you ever kept a personal memento of a lover like their hair or nail clippings…….or other? Yes. Hair...........from various locations. 

4.If you could affordably and safely keep any unusual animal as a pet, what would you choose? I’ve always wanted a pet komodo dragon since I was a kid and told by dog owners, “oh, he won’t bite. He’s just being friendly.” I just thought it would be fun to offer them the same consolation as my pet lizard sniffed the air with its forked tongue and circled them.


5.If you could tell someone from your past about your lifestyle, who would it be? Probably my father.

6.Who was the absolute worst person you’ve ever known? A former co-worker who simply existed for the sole purpose of being a miserable conniving witch to nearly everyone she encountered. If something bad happened she’d make it worse. If nothing bad happened, she’d lie and say it did. She had an HR file as thick as War and Peace but her marriage to another manager saved her over and over again. (Christine, if you are out there reading this……..Karma, baby. It’s gonna get you in the end.)

7.If you could enact a law, what would it be and what would the penalty be for breaking it? I’d need two. One would simply be: Hypocrisy=death.........ideally in a way that somehow reflected the hypocrisy put forth and executed by those who suffered most from it. The other would have to be open-mouthed chewing. The penalty……..a duct taped mouth with a peeled moruga scorpion pepper tucked inside. (There would be very few repeat offenders.)

8.If the only way you could continue to live a kinky lifestyle was to switch to the role opposite of the one you are currently in, would you or could you do it? Yes, but I might not be able to sustain it forever.

9.If you could be part of a TV family would you choose the Partridge family, the Addams family, or the Waltons? duh-duh-duh Dum. >snap snap<
(Any surprise here?)

10.Has anyone besides you or your S.O. ever seen your or your S.O.’s  butt when it was still red from a spanking, and if so, who was it? See post for Tuesday, May 24th, 2016 "Recent Development".

11.If you had to dispatch a zombie, other than a gun, what would be your implement of choice? WW2 pilot's axe:


12.Would you rather fool around with a vampire, alien, or mer-maid/man? :


13.Have you ever displayed your religious tolerance by saying, “I don’t care what you believe as long as you believe in something.”? Never. In fact I usually try to point out the intolerance inherent in that seemingly innocent statement.

14.In which fictional bar would you prefer to drink: Quark’s Bar, Cheers Pub, Rick’s Café Americain, or the Leaky Cauldron? Really? Quark’s would suit my brother but not me. I actually drank in the Bull & Finch which is Boston’s “real” Cheers bar. (It was disappointingly boring.) I could definitely enjoy Rick’s ………….especially in a nice vintage tux…………..but let’s face it………there’s really only one place a face like this...

                                               would really be at home: 

15. What is your fondest memory involving  a nipple? Once when I was topping a love from my past, I had her open her blouse in a woodsy area and lean forward into a small young tree so that her breasts were separated by its trunk. I then attached two clips on a short connecting chain to each nip and then kept roughly kissing her and forcing her backward. It was pretty hot.

16.Confess the most prejudiced or un-PC thing you actually believe to be true. If you are participating in a seamlessly smooth alternate merge and one car comes along to fuck it up by hugging the bumper of the car in front of it in order to avoid letting the other car go………….that disrupting car will invariably have New York plates.

17.What’s the most desperate thing you’ve ever used to wipe your butt? A leaf. 

18.When you finally die, how would you like to go out? And conversely, what is the worst way to die? I’d like to go suddenly. Maybe in my sleep….maybe a sudden heart attack………….or perhaps just a bullet from an unseen source. As for worst……..I have a lot of ways I think are bad…cancer being at the top of the list…but aside from that, I’ve always been particularly terrified of stories where people were killed by being cooked alive.

19.What was the strangest way you ever achieved an orgasm? Tough call. I’ve had a few. For the sake of brevity I’ll say it was when I was allowed an O from a former partner under the condition I achieve it with my hands shackled behind my back. I dry-frotted the foot-board of my bed and actually managed to get off doing so.

20.If you could get away with it, who would you most like to bludgeon to death? For the longest time I would have said the person from #6…………but recent events have convinced me that my ex would be the best candidate for such a fate. (If I asked nicely perhaps I could do them both?)

21.Can you eat with chopsticks? Expertly even.

22. What sexual experiment of yours ended the most disastrously? Let’s just say…………NEVER use pineapple extract to creatively flavor your penis. You might as well masturbate using Ben-Gay as lube!

23.If you suddenly went all 1950’s Sci-Fi, would you rather begin to grow or shrink………….and how would you work that into your sex life? Shrink so I could fit in tight places. I also like the idea of finally figuring out quantum mechanics by witnessing it firsthand.

24.Which sounds most like ‘you’: A kaleidoscope……… a. works on principles of physics and optics, b. is a toy you’ll never see these darned modern day kids enjoying, c. is a rainbow in a blender, or d. reminds me of my last acid trip? Even  though I have actually (and to some, surprisingly) never done LSD, all 4 of these sound like me in different moods.

25.And finally………. just what is the largest thing you’ve ever had up your ass? The fist and forearm of a former “play-partner” who was a bit on the large side.....a true BBW. It was my first and only foray into “fisting” and it was quite memorable and not nearly as unpleasant as one might think. It did definitely widen my outlook.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

The Spanking Machine

I currently have one story (Best Laid Plans) on the main website where a spanking machine figures prominently. I even used the above illustration by Endart for it since it involved two female friends in a situation amazingly similar to the drawing. (My only issue with the drawing is how the machine is designed so that the top crowns of each cheek are struck. If it was me, I'd reverse the action so the paddles struck the lower cheek in an upwards stroke.)

 Currently I am very close to finishing a long piece where there is also a spanking machine. However, the machine is more incidental to the piece rather than being the main focus. I will of course post when the story is finished and available to read.

I was rummaging around looking at some spanking machine illustrations for the piece when I saw something that I had long forgotten:


I actually had this album as a child! And I remembered that the back of the cover (which I cannot find online anywhere) has several line drawings illustrating the story......including one I still recall where the wolf is being spanked in the machine mentioned on the cover. I found something similar, but it is not the same picture:


In trying to find the one I remembered, however, I stumbled upon several spanking machines and snickered at how seemingly common these contraptions were in cartoons. Here are a few I found:


Here are two where the piggies get a taste of their own contraption.



 And here's another oldie:


And interestingly enough, the spanking machine as it relates to cartoon characters seems as alive as ever. Here are a couple of modern takes on the theme:



So it seems, here we are ..............all these years later, and the spanking machine is as popular as it ever was. And now, there are even real ones you can actually buy that work. Personally I've never been in one but I think there's a weird appeal to the idea of a spanking coming from an unfeeling machine. 










Thursday, August 18, 2016

Soft, ripe, curvy........


.......tempting. If you're like me, you probably can't wait to enjoy such a tasty treat! And, it's actually good for you.....especially if you're male.






(the original photo before cropping and conversion to B&W)

No, there's nothing like a ripe Jersey tomato picked fresh from the garden. (Like this one from my own garden.) And they're full of lycopene which is recommended for good prostate health. So guys.............sink your teeth into that!


.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Nature lessons



There are so many things we can learn out in the woods. Just look at this eager little fellow working on his next merit badge. 


I guess when the scout master challenged everyone to try and spot some beaver, this kid took him very seriously.

Anyway, there are so many things out in our own backyards this time of year.....if we just pay attention. Yesterday Rosa and I were cooling off in the pool when a hummingbird came by our trumpet vines to feed. Normally the hummingbirds we get are very skittish and you're lucky if you catch a fleeting glimpse.............but for some reason, this fellow just kept going from flower to flower seemingly oblivious to our presence. It was very cool.

Also, our rue plants have become a nursery for Eastern Black Swallowtail caterpillars.


And there's so much more too. You just have to keep your eyes open and you never know what you'll see. But always remember to respect nature. If not, you never know what might happen.



Natural switches out in the open air are a pretty effective punishment. I've had the experience a few times. It's weird being punished in the open air with the unlikely but definitely possible consequence of being seen .....or heard. And depending on the switch....they can sting like crazy and leave welts like earthworms!






Sunday, August 14, 2016

Beginning to wonder.......


Considering that this blog is supposed to be interactive, lately I feel it's about as interactive as the adventures of a thirteen-year-old boy locked in the bathroom with a bottle of hand lotion. I suppose I could just think of that way and enjoy the solitude...........but at my age I was hoping for something more.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Words are unnecessary

When I first stumbled upon this photo I was struck by many things, not the least of which was its potential for captioning. 


I mean really! Is this not priceless? Just look at that dog's face in comparison with the naked girl's lack of awareness. But the more I wanted to put clever words in that dog's mouth, the more I realized...........why? Why sully something so already perfect? Sure the possibilities are tempting, (and plentiful), but as soon as you put them into words you've limited the experience.

Readers here already know I'm not a big fan of most of the captioning found on the Internet............but captioning can be fun and I've seen some that are just great. A good caption can even turn a mundane image into something wonderful. So I'm not opposed to ALL captioning, just as I'm not opposed to good conversation. But I also recognize the value of silence. Sometimes saying nothing is more eloquent than the most finely constructed speech. And for me..........THIS is one of those times.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

My Q&A of T.M.I.

I began almost immediately in thinking about Hermione's suggestion that I write up my own personal Q&A for people to use to truly reveal their odd sides. And maybe because I think 44 questions are just too much, or because I'm lazy, or maybe because I really think you only need to answer one good question a certain way in order to qualify as "odd", my quiz consists of only 25 questions. Here it is. (Don't let the accompanying illustrations influence you. They are only there because people like to look at pictures.)

“25 things you never needed to know about me, that now you do.”

1.About how old were you when you first knew you were kinky?


2.Will you eat something if it falls on the floor?
3.Have you ever kept a personal memento of a lover like their hair or nail clippings…….or other?
4.If you could affordably and safely keep any unusual animal as a pet, what would you choose?

5.If you could tell someone from your past about your lifestyle, who would it be?
6.Who was the absolute worst person you’ve ever known?
7.If you could enact a law, what would it be and what would the penalty be for breaking it?
8.If the only way you could continue to live a kinky lifestyle was to switch to the role opposite of the one you are currently in, would you or could you do it?
9.If you could be part of a TV family would you choose the Partridge family, the Addams family, or the Waltons?
10.Has anyone besides you or your S.O. ever seen your or your S.O.’s  butt when it was still red from a spanking, and if so, who was it?
11.If you had to dispatch a zombie, other than a gun, what would be your implement of choice?
12.Would you rather fool around with a vampire, alien, or mer-maid/man?


13.Have you ever professed your religious tolerance by saying, “I don’t care what you believe as long as you believe in something.”?
14.In which fictional bar would you prefer to drink: Quark’s Bar, Cheers Pub, Rick’s Café Americain, or the Leaky Cauldron?
15. What is your fondest memory involving  a nipple?


16.Confess the most prejudiced or un-PC thing you actually believe to be true.
17.What’s the most desperate thing you’ve ever used to wipe your butt?
18.When you finally die, how would you like to go out? And conversely, what is the worst way to die?
19.What was the strangest way you ever achieved an orgasm?


20.If you could get away with it, who would you most like to bludgeon to death?
21.Can you eat with chopsticks?
22. What sexual experiment of yours ended the most disastrously?


23.If you suddenly went all 1950’s Sci-Fi, would you rather begin to grow or shrink………….and how would you work that into your sex life?


24.Which sounds most like ‘you’: A kaleidoscope……… a. works on principles of physics and optics, b. is a toy you’ll never see these darned modern day kids enjoying, c. is a rainbow in a blender, or d. reminds me of my last acid trip?

25.And finally………. just what is the largest thing you’ve ever had up your ass?

(If you are curious about my own answers to these queries, you'll just have to wait. I don't want to prejudice anyone else's responses right off the bat. But I can be badgered into doing so sooner by reading your instigating comments.)

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

My turn

I saw this Q&A on Hermione's blog and even though these things sometimes annoy me in a bemused sort of way, I thought 'what the hell?' After all, a heady discussion of freedom and free will resulted in a whopping 7 people voting in the poll question, so maybe telling Internet strangers my favorite ice cream flavor will be of more interest? I have to admit though, the title for this little questionnaire, "44 Odd Things You Don't Know About Me" struck me as the oddest thing in it. Admitting to owning slippers ( question #23 ) just doesn't register as odd with me. Perhaps asking, "Have you ever stabbed a cat?" or "What's the largest thing you've ever had up your ass?" would qualify as more 'odd'. But the quiz is what it is......and what it is is a quiz......so:

1. Do you like blue cheese? No


2. Have you ever smoked? Tobacco? Other? (no to the first) 


3. Do you own a gun? No, I own several.


4. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Black raspberry with chocolate if I'm in my 'fruit' mood, coffee chip otherwise


5. Do you get nervous before Doctor visits? That depends on the reason for the visit.


6. What do you think of hot dogs? They are impressively cylindrical.....yet floppy.


7. Favorite Movie? A Clockwork Orange



8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Black coffee, no sugar, preferably a dark roast.

 9. Do you do push ups? No


10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?  My 'wedding band' even though I'm not married. (sorry, a bit of an inside joke between Rosa and me)

11. Favorite hobby? I have many. My favorite changes by mood and season.

12. Do you have A.D.D.?  It wouldn't surprise me. I'm on question #12 and I'm already bored..................and this is about ME!
  
13. What’s the one thing you dislike about yourself? I'm more fearful than anyone would ever guess.
  
14. What is your middle name?  Gregory

15. Name three thoughts at this moment…Fred, Sylvia, and Queztlcoatl (I think those are good names for thoughts.)

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Coffee, water with lemon, and beer

17. Current worry? Finances


18. Current annoyance right now?  Finances


19. Favorite place to be? on the bench in front of my ponds



20. How do you ring in the new year? it depends

21. Where would you like to go? New Orleans, the Grand Canyon, and Key West.


22. Name three people who will complete this? I don't understand the question.


23. Do you own slippers? Yes...........wicked rebel that I am!


24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? White


25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No. They feel nice at first and then you wake up on the floor.


26. Can you whistle? Badly.........but far better than I sing.


27. What are your favorite colors? Violet, red, and all the ones in-between on the color spectrum. Each has their place.


28. Would you be a pirate? No, Somalia is terrible this time of year. 


29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Do people really do that?


30. Favorite girls name? Hannah


31. Favorite boys name? Tristan


32. What’s in your pocket right now? mostly nitrogen......... and a bit of oxygen with some carbon dioxide, argon, and some other stuff mixed in


33. Last thing that made you laugh? Question #33


34. Best toy as a child? The solid plastic, 6" figures produced by Marx in the '60's.


35. Worst injury you ever had? fractured knee cap


36. Where would you love to live? the Haight during the 60's.


37. How many TV’s do you have? In the house we have 4, but that's because there are 3 kids living here. I could get by with one. 


38. Who is your loudest friend? Among my friends I'm afraid I am the loudest.


39. How many dogs do you have? Can I change my answer to #33? 


40. Does someone trust you? You'd have to ask them.

41. What book are you reading at the moment? "Great Historical Blunders"


42. What’s your favorite candy?  dark chocolate


43. What’s your favorite sports team? the Charlestown Chiefs


44. Favorite month? October, of course! Does that make me......odd?




Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Cocks in Locks

"…..and if a little secret diddle turns a milkshake to a puddle, and that puddle gets you paddled by lady with a poodle, and that trouble with the paddle makes you waddle as you babble……………………..that’s a diddle puddle, poodle paddle, double trouble, widdle-waddle hassle."

Well you'll have to forgive that particular illustration style since it's not pure Dr. Seuss, but if you've ever read (and loved) "Fox in Socks" you get the idea. 

Could you imagine if the Seuss stories got kinky? I mean the possibilities for what could have kept those housebound kids occupied in "The Cat in the Hat" are mind-boggling.


Factor in Thing #1 & Thing #2, toss in the fish,and those possibilities degenerate exponentially. Something Morticia Addams might have truly preferred to the wholesome original:


What if "Green Eggs & Ham" was about a reluctance to dally with a particular woman? "I would not fuck her with a stick. I would not fuck her with your dick. I would not fuck her, Sam-I-Am....

What if the Lorax wielded a whip? Horton hears a Who...........being spanked? And imagine an elaborate, Rube Goldberg-esque spanking machine as envisioned by Seuss! A genuine 'two-cheekular, automo-cranker butzwhackular spanker'.

Maybe it's just me, but I think the world of Seuss is ideal as a potential Boschian sexscape packaged in preschool rhyme. And it's not like Geisel only wrote for children. (Oh the Places You'll Go...........talk about a suggestive title!) And this quote by Geisel seems like a mantra for kinksters:

Seusian perversion is definitely a fun possibility. And speaking of titles...........how about:

One Ball, Two Balls, Big balls, Blue Balls

Top with Crop

And To Think That I Saw It on Christopher Street

or maybe even  How the Grinch Stole My Anal Virginity ?