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Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Cocks in Locks

"…..and if a little secret diddle turns a milkshake to a puddle, and that puddle gets you paddled by lady with a poodle, and that trouble with the paddle makes you waddle as you babble……………………..that’s a diddle puddle, poodle paddle, double trouble, widdle-waddle hassle."

Well you'll have to forgive that particular illustration style since it's not pure Dr. Seuss, but if you've ever read (and loved) "Fox in Socks" you get the idea. 

Could you imagine if the Seuss stories got kinky? I mean the possibilities for what could have kept those housebound kids occupied in "The Cat in the Hat" are mind-boggling.


Factor in Thing #1 & Thing #2, toss in the fish,and those possibilities degenerate exponentially. Something Morticia Addams might have truly preferred to the wholesome original:


What if "Green Eggs & Ham" was about a reluctance to dally with a particular woman? "I would not fuck her with a stick. I would not fuck her with your dick. I would not fuck her, Sam-I-Am....

What if the Lorax wielded a whip? Horton hears a Who...........being spanked? And imagine an elaborate, Rube Goldberg-esque spanking machine as envisioned by Seuss! A genuine 'two-cheekular, automo-cranker butzwhackular spanker'.

Maybe it's just me, but I think the world of Seuss is ideal as a potential Boschian sexscape packaged in preschool rhyme. And it's not like Geisel only wrote for children. (Oh the Places You'll Go...........talk about a suggestive title!) And this quote by Geisel seems like a mantra for kinksters:

Seusian perversion is definitely a fun possibility. And speaking of titles...........how about:

One Ball, Two Balls, Big balls, Blue Balls

Top with Crop

And To Think That I Saw It on Christopher Street

or maybe even  How the Grinch Stole My Anal Virginity ?





2 comments:

  1. Pretty funny. Having been into spanking since I was a kid I never realized..go figure.

    Stan

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Stan, and 'welcome'! (And be sure to visit the main website linked at the top right of this page.....it's where all the goodies are stored.)

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