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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Background

While I have openly discussed this before on several forums and alluded to it here, there has been a reasonable question posed as to the how’s and why’s of our open DD lifestyle.

So I am going to describe it as accurately and succinctly as I can:

Rosa and her three kids live with me. At the very start of our cohabitation Rosa expressed a concern that by moving into “my” house, she worried that she would never feel it was hers too. At the time we were already ‘playing’ with spanking and some other BDSM activities, but had not adopted a full-out DD lifestyle. In order to assuage my Honey’s concerns, I suggested we take our activities ‘to the next level’ complete with rules she could enforce and consequences. At the time I felt this was a huge step. Rosa however, reacted as if it was the most normal, logical, and reasonable thing in the world. She agreed in a heartbeat and took over as a sort of disciplinary HoH with areas that were left egalitarian (like finances and handling of issues with our own children). 

Not long after initiating a DD relationship, she discussed her desire to live openly as a family.....mainly to show that a responsible, mutually-desired lifestyle is nothing to be ashamed of. I saw her point and with only a little hesitation, agreed. That was around 2010....give or take, and when we came out to her kids, the world did not end. They all reacted differently but essentially positively to the news. Each seemed mature enough to understand it, even if they initially found it to be a very different sort of thing from what they were used to. It did not take long though for them to not only get used to it, but embrace it. I do think the reason this has worked so well for us is the particular serendipitous dynamic we have. I tend to doubt her kids would be as receptive to a DD household if I was the dominant partner spanking their Mom for misdeeds. But in our case, this arrangement has been completely embraced by them since it is their mother in charge and her rule ensures a huge benefit of guaranteed respect and safety for them. In our home, there is never any reason they need to worry about how anyone might be mistreated. They and their Mom are safe and secure. If I do anything to jeopardize that……I suffer the consequences. All three (now 16 through 20) had those occasional issues with me where I either scolded the wrong kid, or impatiently snapped at one of them for no good reason, and they saw the issue resolved with their Mom taking me off to our room and spanking me for it. And despite our great inter-relationships, none ever seemed too upset about me getting it good for hurting their feelings.


This older piece depicting an early household reality, is framed and hanging just inside our bedroom behind the door when opened and visible when closed. While depicted as piggies, each of us is represented in somewhat accurate resemblance and gesture. Anyone knowing us would easily know which piggy was who.....though the little piggies at the door are quite grown up now.


If one of them was directly wronged by me and they seemed sincerely upset by it, their mother not only informed them that she would ‘take care of it’ but very often even asked that they themselves suggest an amount of spanks they thought was fair. Now one might think this would result is some crazy suggestions, but each one always took that offer very seriously and really gave fair suggestions sometimes even with tears in their eyes. Furthermore, you’d think such a thing could lead to a lack of respect for me…….but it never did. 

Overall her kids see me as a father figure  and have said so openly. However, there is also a general feeling of being in the same situation with regards to their Mom's authority.....with the exception that they were not spanked. So, if there is any misbehavior in the house, any one of us could expect to be punished by my honey. However, they experience only revoked privileges. I too may have privileges revoked, but invariably my misdeeds are handled with a punishment spanking behind closed doors......but not out of earshot.  

However, other than this dynamic, we are very much the average family in every other way. There is no lack of mutual respect. No inappropriate teasing. If they do tease, it’s very much in line with what you might expect from anyone aware of the situation. We all care about each other very much. Coming out to them merely resulted in an open lifestyle. No worries over who was home if I needed to be punished.....just off to the bedroom and immediate consequences: a combination of a stinging backside and the embarrassment of having my punishment being easily heard. It might sound strange....but it works for us.

16 comments:

  1. Jack, not really the same but dated a woman with a twenty something spoiled brat of a daughter. She told me dating was hard due to her daughter and so men stayed away. We enjoyed one another company and maybe six months or so into the relationship her daughter found herself over my lap, her panty clad bottom getting the spanking long overdue. She agreed with the spanking, the daughter lived at home. A couple days later the daughter said she was sorry for causing problems, accepted the spanking and we get along, she does know I will spank her again. As for our relationship it is still going strong but it was not long after spanking her daughter, that one afternoon she did something I forget, well she was soon bare bottom over my lap and got her first spanking. That evening at dinner she was squirming in her chair, her daughter noticed and said with a smile, Mommy did you get a spanking, Yes dear was the replay. I smiled and said never too hold for a spanking, both looked at me and said Yes Daddy.

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    1. Welcome, Jack. I suppose a situation like this can occur with either dynamic...F/M in my case, M/F in yours.

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    2. I've have not spanked the daughter since then, she has rented an apartment, met a guy and seems her attitude is improving, so maybe he spanks her. Her mother and I got married just recently, that wedding night was wonderful even though we have been together for sometime. The next morning, we talked about this new life of ours, I told her I would still spank, she smiled and said she knew I would.

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    3. Excellent developments. Congratulations! I hope everything works out for all concerned.

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  2. While I know it is not for everyone, I do envy the approach you and Rosa took with this. We always hid the DD and FLR side es of our relationship from our kids, and I think that was a mistake. It definitely had a negative impact on my wife's ability to grow into a real HoH, and it just really put a damper on our ability to make the DD part of us all it could be. I don't think I would have been comfortable with the kids participating in any way as you describe, but I also don't think them knowing about it would have caused them any harm. Hell, for all I know they DO know about it and we have been holding ourselves back for no good reason.

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    1. Well everyone has to make their own decisions. Perhaps if the people here were not who they are, our decision might have been different as well. But given all factors, for us this just made sense and no one was ever involved in anything they didn't want to be involved in.

      Being open allowed everyone to see how such a relationship can work and while doing so, learned to have a broader view of most things. And along the way, being open allowed everyone to have experiences that ranged from the emotional and serious....all the way to the fun and teasing. Just like life in general...........only with DD factored in.

      As for secrecy? I tried that in my first relationship, and later found out......just as you said, that my kids figured everything out anyway.

      All the best!---KDP

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  3. WOW, KD, that is completely awesome. You said "They all reacted differently but essentially positively to the news" and they are 16 to 20 years old. I know from prior posts there is at least one boy and one girl, but can you break down the reaction of each and give us the age and gender?

    Carl H

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    1. There are two boys and one girl. The oldest is male and is now 20. My step-daughter is the middle sibling, currently at 19, an d the youngest is a male who just recently hit 16 and is gearing up for driving lessons.

      At the time of the revelation all were receptive however, the oldest initially found it odd that I as the older male, and at the time in a managerial position would put myself in such a vulnerable situation.....though he did recognize his mother's talent for leadership and balance.

      The middle one, whom I refer to usually as "Ana" was very receptive....being a bit of a bossy, dominant type even then. She saw the whole thing as something truly amusing and appropriate. She was and still is the most inclined to discuss D/s issues, tease me about my situation and enjoy things D/s related. Her Mom even gave her very limited but real authority in a few things to sort of experiment with responsible dominance and authority. And it is something she has never abused....not even once.

      The youngest used to be in frequent, but minor 'trouble almost all of the time. He has since matured into a creative and much more responsible teen. But at the time, as the youngest, he just sort of saw me as a fellow "buddy" who seemed to get into trouble almost as often as himself. We used to joke about that and sort of bonded in that similarity. He even used to get playful smacks from his Mom at times but they were merely silly ventures resulting from joking around. Eventually though he sort of 'outgrew' his enjoyment of it.....which is quite natural as a boy hits puberty.

      Now, as I wrote in the post, all of them just see what their Mom and I do as the most natural and normal thing in the world and no one bats an eye at anything. And living this way has not influenced them to "be the same" either. (A common fear among parents) Ana is the only one who seems to be open to such a relationship but it does not seem to be a necessary ingredient for her. She is playfully bossy with her boyfriend but as far as I know, they don't engage in anything overtly D/s-oriented. (She does boss him around playfully and seems to encourage him to pamper her at times....but that appears to be the extent of it.) The boys just go their own way.

      I hope that clears that up without being too detailed.

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  4. A bit off topic, but what exactly is it with you and pigs? I mean the illustrations are cute and all but I was wondering if you had some special attraction or something for pigs.

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    1. It's sort of an inside joke/reference within our family centering around Rosa and her long time affinity for pigs. So when I do stuff with pigs, it's not so much my own thing as a connection with hers.

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    2. Ah, I see. SHE has the thing for pigs. I also noticed that, in the pic, the spanking seems to have uncurled your little piggy tail. Must have been quite uh, vigorous. ;-)

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    3. Yes and yes. The straightened tail was an intentional visual gag to suggest a mighty whack. Good catch.

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    4. Well, you also need to remember that (AFAIK anyway) "Piggies" is the only Beatles' song containing any kind of a spanking reference:

      "In their lives there's something lacking, what they need's a damn good whacking!"

      It's interesting that an emphatic whack of the hardwood to his/her bare behind will apparently cause a porcine spankee's tail to uncurl, yet a human spankee's toes to curl up... --C.K.

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    5. All good (and amusing) points, CK.

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  5. Thank you for the explanation!
    Ana sounds a delight! A little Julie in the making?
    Wonder when Rosa will give her "spanking rights" over you?
    A fantasy (of mine at least) come true.

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    1. Technically all of them do have such authority in the form of these "Discipline Slips" we ordered from a school supply source online. All any of them need do at any time they feel wronged, is fill out one of those slips and leave it on their Mom's dresser for approval and for Rosa to execute the 'sentence'. Ana used to use them much more than her brothers ever did!

      But now there doesn't seem to be much need for them. I can't remember the last time one was left for her to approve and act on......but they are always an option.

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