I had a nice talk with Ana today about all sorts of things as usual, and at one point we discussed the appeal of D/s situations where the submissive is punished unfairly. I expressed that I have an affinity for fiction where the victim is somehow ensnared and can't escape their fate, while simultaneously resenting real life situations where the same thing occurs. I also brought up the issue of being a proxy (something Ana and I have a good deal of experience with) and I mentioned a short anecdote that I recalled from a now-defunct site entitled "Maman".
With a little looking I found a site that is housing some of the old Maman* stories and actually found the exact one I was telling Ana about: "Over Mrs. Johnson's Knee" (click title for link). We discussed the notion of proxy and Ana very simply said she felt that proxy situations are "win, win, win" scenarios where every party benefits. She said the guilty party escapes a punishment, the disciplinarian still has an outlet for their annoyance, and even the proxy ends up getting what they sort of want. Her opinion is that voluntary proxies have their own reasons for offering themselves up and that despite getting punished.....even genuinely....they still receive a kind of satisfaction from it.
As a proxy myself, I have to agree with her. But I told her that for a proxy situation to work for me......whether in fiction or for myself in real practice, the punishment the proxy receives HAS to be equal to what the guilty party would have gotten. The spanking can't be milder because an 'innocent' is receiving the punishment instead of the actual perpetrator. It's what I liked about the Maman anecdote. Mrs. Johnson apparently spent several minutes TRYING to talk him out of his proxy offer! But, once the kid insisted on switching places, she did not go easier on him.
Ultimately Ana said that while she can address real situations, even though she knows she has the authority, she still prefers situations where the submissive party (in her case, me) provides some sort of 'green light' acknowledgement of guilt or complicity. She said that once she has that assurance, she is far more likely to recommend harsher consequences than she might without it. It made sense. I felt very similarly back in the days when I was switching and doing some Topping myself. A sub's willingness fed my dominance and provoked my darker inklings.
And as 'green lights' go, one of my curious frustrations has been the reluctance of some of the other sanctioned disciplinarians in my life to use their given authority despite encouragement........even if it just meant employing "Discipline Slips" the way Ana does. But there are other factors at work in those cases, so I suppose the issue is more complex than just acting on a 'go ahead'.
And on that note, let me leave you with a link to one of my own 'proxy stories' aptly entitled: "Proxy"
*Maman ostensibly received submissions from regular adult people who recounted supposedly true and memorable disciplinary instances from their own youth. Admittedly the writing is what you'd expect and there are certainly some stories that seem to be made up, but many have a familiar air of truth about them......even if they aren't elaborate or well-crafted tales.