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Monday, September 25, 2017

Thinking is good

The stereotype of the jock has always accentuated brawn over brain. And yet, while teased over not knowing the most basic things about science, history, math, literature, art, or music, no one can deny that sports fans actually do possess sufficient intelligence to memorize the most obscure stats, facts, and game strategies. So it's not that jocks or sports fans are stupid.....they just choose to focus their minds on the minutia related to balls of various shapes, sizes, and colors rather than other things.

It is because of this that I actually appreciate the most recent "anthem" controversy. For me, it has made something of no interest (sports) interesting.....and it has forced people who rarely think beyond "who should be traded for whom" or "who ran for the most yards in 1973" or "pass me another Coors light" to ponder some important issues. And that is a good thing.


(I figured given the nature of this blog, I should at least toss in some visual that incorporates discipline. And this may well be the first time I've posted a M/m image. LOL)


It doesn't really matter where a person stands on this most recent issue... a protest against violent racism, particularly within law enforcement in a country that touts equality, because the controversy is no longer about that single issue. Now it encompasses several:

-Should a paid athlete be allowed to use their own public sporting event to highlight a political issue?

-Are simpler political statements OK (like wearing a ribbon or emblem)......but not ones that revolve around flags/anthems? Or are flags and anthems the ideal place to focus attention on things that may be wrong in the country?

-How free should "free speech" be?

-Is 'patriotism' supporting one's country no matter what? or acknowledging the bad and trying to change it?

-Should a president make the sort of commentary Trump has made about this issue?

-From the 'Trump perspective' ....is this really about the anthem and kneeling, or is this a tactic of diversion......or of division? Worse, is it merely about disrupting an organization he personally doesn't like?

-Are we a hopelessly divided country, separated by race, ideology, and wealth?

Personally, I have a view on all of these, but expressing that view is not what this post is about. Instead, I am just happy to see the tailgate crowd finally thinking and talking about something important. Thinking is good. Thanks, Donald. 


Thursday, September 21, 2017

Advice.....

.......from a werewolf:


Wolfman Joe (before)

"Hello, I'm Wolfman Joe. I know it's not even October yet, but if you take Halloween seriously, you need to start getting ready now. Take me for example. I first became a werewolf just last year.....and it was a very last-minute transformation. And, as you can see from the picture above, I did not start out being the kind of werewolf I truly wished to be. I was just too new to the role.

"Some people think all you need to become a terrifying werewolf is to be born the seventh son of a seventh son.....with a pentagram emblazoned in your palm. Or maybe just get bit by another werewolf....if you can find one.  But I'm here to tell you becoming a truly scary werewolf in the era of Planned Parenthood is not as simple as just taking a stroll on the moors. I mean, hell, we don't even have moors in New Jersey. It takes effort.

"Just look at me. Yeah, I had the fangs and hair, but I still sort of looked like you could get me to leave you alone just by tossing me a dog biscuit and saying, 'here ya go, boy'. Pathetic. Where is the panty-wetting terror? Where is the sense of impending doom? 

"No, I knew I needed to up my game......so I started by strengthening my core.


"Once I no longer had the spine of a bedroom valet, I knew I was on my way to becoming more than a furry coat rack. Next I needed some claws. Last year I was just a head peeking up over the back of a chair with nary a claw in sight. What kind of werewolf attacks with his hands in his pockets? No, I needed hands. So I got these....


"But even these paws needed some work. They were meant to be worn like gloves and I had no fingers. They also needed to be poseable and they needed something better than a cheesy spray paint job in China. And....... from all that time in my pockets, it only made sense that my palms be hairy too. I got ALL of that...... and more! And now? Now I'm nearly ready to do some serious eviscerating.

Wolfman Joe (after)

"Isn't that scarier?! I'm huge! I'm buff! Hell, I'm hulking out of my shirt! I have very little extra now to do for Halloween....just a few tweaks.....and a better location. Maybe I can practice my howling?

"So, if YOU want people to fear that you might tear out their innards for a moonlit dinner......take the necessary steps now! Halloween will be here before you know it!"

 ---------------sincerely, Wolfman Joe

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Pet peeve or just weird?

There are a lot of things in spanking photos that can drive me crazy........or at least prompt me to shake my head. I've covered some of them before, but today I'm gong to concentrate on one that I REALLY would love an answer to: what's up with those shoes on an otherwise naked spankee?

Look at these heels! Could the disciplinarian not just have waited the extra minute for these to be removed? But take a gander at the Top. She's not dressed in fetish or glam.....and yet check out those red pumps! Somebody on this shoot is into heels!

It's bad enough that standard porn shots do this all of the time, but spanking shots too? And it's not just the glam shots either. Even relatively average ladies in seemingly domestic settings engage in this:

I guess these boots are made for spanking?

And it's not just a youth-thing! Mature victims keep those shoes on as well.......


Sometimes I think the photographers use shoes as a sort of 'partial costume' to remind the viewer "who" the victim is. A good example of this is the punished "schoolgirl". And here's a whole line-up:
On one hand, everyone wants to see those nubile cuties all nice and naked.....BUT we also have to keep that 'schoolgirl' image going, so what better way than to let them keep their uniform socks and shoes on? ( Don't those shoes just utterly convince you that these are girls in a school? LOL)

But shoes are not always a uniform or clue. So why are they there after everything else has been stripped off? And it doesn't matter who the spanker is. They can be male......

He probably couldn't figure out how to get them off.

....or female:
"Owww, but black goes with everything!"

Young......
"I'll know you've had enough when those fall off."

...or more maternal:

"Those are my pumps, young lady...........and I'm going to keep spanking you until you 
give them back to me!"

Hell, sometimes the spanker can even be in full 'Domme regalia' and their victim's shoes are still staying put:

This shot is a bit silly on more levels than just shoe-wearing.....but if you are shooting for 'ridiculous', you may as well add shoes (and socks) to the list.

But the best is when both spanker and spankee are naked....or nearly naked.....and those damned shoes are still on!

Shots like this just make me laugh!

So what is up with this? OK, it's not 100%......but as you can see, it's frequent enough to have to be intentional. Do people find this sexy? Do the models have ugly feet that need to be hidden? Did the model initially remove her shoes only to have everyone on the shoot think someone opened a bag of Dorito's? What the hell is it? I realize this is not a new thing:
This trend goes back a bit for sure. (And don't you just love the rifle stock visible in the upper right corner? You don't see that anymore. I guess she's lucky she's just being hand-spanked!)

Maybe it's the shoes themselves. I've always heard that women love shoes. Perhaps even naked women still can't resist shoes?

It seems that this young lady can't. 

The ONLY time you don't see shoes on an otherwise naked spankee, seems to be when that victim is male! And here I thought it was women who were more prone to wanting to go around barefoot?









Thursday, September 14, 2017

Lady Marta: Disciplinarian

Two of my favorite ladies, Ladies Marta & Nickki, having some fun.

Various photos are still trickling in. I thought for sure someone snapped a shot of me getting swatted by "Lady Marta" in the stocks.....but Rosa told me that she doesn't think anyone caught that. However, yesterday I got this shot of Lady Marta giving Lady Nickki a nice swat! (I love both of their costumes too!)

Throughout the day, various guests always seem to find a way to get a few smacks from my neighbor. And when I plan out the Quest for the Holy Grail, the first "trial" is an archery task wherein a plastic apple must be shot off the head of William the Younger using up to 8 arrows. The team being tested must appoint both an archer and a "hostage" who is then imprisoned in the stocks. For every arrow that misses....Lady Marta delivers a swat to the hostage. If all 8 miss, she adds a penalty of an extra 4, a little harder than the first 8, for an even dozen. So at the very least, Marta gets to whack one member of each team a bit. 

There are other challenges and dares that sometimes result in a trip to Lady Marta's stocks as well. As for me? I announced at the beginning of the faire that since I had escaped Lady Marta last year, anyone could come up and ring a bell we have in the yard to give the go ahead for me to 'get it' from Lady Marta to make up for it. As soon as I said it, Rosa strode right up and rang the bell, and Lady Marta gleefully delivered several good swats......only she insisted on using the nasty wooden spoon with my name on it instead of the milder leather slapper!

I didn't get a lot of swats, but the ones she gave me definitely stung! Hopefully I'll get a shot from someone at some point showing Lady Marta dealing out her 'justice' to someone actually in the stocks. I know a lot of shots were taken of different guests at different times, but I don't know who has what. And in conclusion I wanted to add this year's shot of me and Lady Rosa:





Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Outdoor discipline

As I await a few more RenFaire photos, I thought it was about time to get back to some more DD-themed posts. Besides being associated in my mind with RenFaires, September has always reminded me of camping. I don't camp anymore due to my back and the fact that Rosa seems willing but not enthusiastic. Recently we went on a NJ trek of waterfalls and spent some time in Stokes Forest State Park, one of my favorite campgrounds. 

Rosa found it better than she thought and we discussed possibly trying a simple overnight to see how things go. 

One of the things I am used to from past relationships that I have not done with Rosa, is the outdoor spanking. When I was in my late 20's I used to joke that I had been spanked or switched in just about every campground in the state......and one in NY! It was actually rare to go camping and NOT end up with a striped butt. Episodes of this nature inspired this old drawing of mine:

This was actually a position I found myself  in a number of times.

One very memorable episode in my past was supposed to take place on a camping trip, but due to EVERYTHING going awry, the actual 'spanking' took place indoors after the trip ended. (You can read about that episode here. Just click.)

My fond memories of Stokes Forest were also the impetus and setting for my story, "The Woman of the Well" and this illustration which I drew especially for it:

This picture might make it look like the poor boy is the terrorized captive of some sadistic park ranger......but nothing could be further from the truth. Read it and see. 

"The Woman of the Well" (you can read it by clicking here) is one of my favorite stories and is pretty long. And if any of you out there are familiar with Stokes Forest, it won't take a lot of effort to realize the similarities....other than the house with the well...between the campground in the story and Stokes.

So do any of you have a juicy 'outdoor spanking' story to tell?

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

More Faire-ness

I'm still waiting for some pictures to come in from other sources.....especially the one of me getting whacked in the stocks by Lady Marta! But in the meantime, here are a few with 'people' in them:

Faces obscured, this is my daughter and her friend sitting around the table of castle blocks later in the evening. That's my drinking vessel in the right foreground.

My usurper brother...the Black Knight....pretender to the crown.

Lady Ana face-painting my niece....

...and preparing to duel atop the balance beam.

It's good to be the king! That's me.....flail on the rug at the ready should any challenge my rule.


Monday, September 11, 2017

Success!

Well the 2017 RenFaire has ended and other than some minor (and I mean minor ) hitches, it was a rousing success! I even managed to participate much more this year, rather than spend all of my 'party time' coordinating events. And, as promised, I got pictures this year. For the sake of this post, I will just share the shots of the unpopulated shire.....before guests arrived and partook of the various offerings. Here are a few highlights:

One overview of the entrance to the "Villa Alava".

Beneath the shaded arbor, a crest depicting Rosa's actual family crest coupled with my invented family crest, based on my last name.

Another crest.....that of my daughter.....and her husband.

Our museum of 'artifacts' from the neighboring and perpetually feuding shires of  Ochershire and Azurton.

The gaming area, for dueling in various forms!

The Royal Throne, crown, and scepter. But before sitting upon it, you must prove yourself worthy.....

....and pull forth the sword from the stone and anvil.

And for those in need of chastisement.....Lady Marta's Stocks. You can see her leather slapper hanging from the one side. (the axe is for very serious offences and fortunately has never had to be used. Makes a nice warning though.)

The Arthurian-themed cups of Grail tasks.

Our tennis ball-firing mangonel.

And our Torvald Drumpf effigy that one could do battle with and or otherwise abuse. (He is shown here post-party with the broken fragments of his chest plate about his feet.)

Besides Torvald, the only other participant who probably did not have a good time was poor William Tell the Younger.

In my next post I will show some of the events as they unfolded with our guests......(with some of the faces obscured for polite anonymity). 



Monday, September 4, 2017

RenFaire Captions

While I can't invite my online readers to the upcoming RenFaire, I can let you in on some of the fun. One of the things we do is let guests write in captions for various 'period' images. One of the images I'm using this year is this:


It's too bad my ponds don't have any frogs around this year.

Anyway, even though I have a reputation for hating captions, that's not really true. (In fact I contribute to Hermione's weekly caption post almost every week) No, I just hate forced "everything has to be about kink" captions when a simpler and funnier one would be much more entertaining. So, if anyone would like to take a shot at our princess and frog, by all means show us what you got! Here's my contribution to start things off:

Princess: "You are cute and all...... but I just don't know."
Frog: "That's the trouble with being a frog. I can be 100% STD-free and you people still think they're going to get warts."

From Hands63:

Princess: "Kiss you, I don't think so"

Frog: "Come on babe, what have you got to lose. You know what they say, once you go frog, you'll read about it on everyone's blog

From Merry:

"PRINCESS: So thrilled to meeteth thou King Frog! What a large staff thou hast! How much dost 't groweth? 

FROG: Nearly as long and thick as a log, mine princess, and thou shalt squeal in delight at its strength! 


Who's next?

Saturday, September 2, 2017

One more week!

Speaking of older photo files.....I came across this old RenFaire photo from 2 years ago:


Me and "Lady Rosa" of the Villa Alava, in our backyard. (Last year I wore something different that I will be using again this year. And to any Python fans: yes that is a ceramic rendition of the Terry Gilliam 'Holy Grail'.)

So as of today, the RenFaire  is one week away and my only concern at this point is one 'uncontrollable'......weather! This is not an event that can simply be moved indoors if it rains. But weather aside things have progressed nicely. The games have been concocted and the 2017 clues and dares printed and stashed away.

I will be setting up more of the yard as this week progresses.....and like I promised...THIS TIME I WILL TAKE PICTURES!

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Getting jizzy with it

I was cleaning out my photo files and came across this shot that I took a while back at a catering place that I have actually been to twice....once for a wedding and once for a graduation:

This is the actual chandelier in the lobby as you enter the Ria-Mar in South River, NJ!

Now this is not a sex club......or a sperm donor clinic......but this thing still welcomes every visitor for every special event hosted there. Now the first time I walked in I saw it and guffawed out loud. Then after pointing it out to Rosa, I later made it a point to tell the people we were sitting with that if they were heading to the rest rooms they should "go out to the main lobby, look at the chandelier, and come back and tell me what you saw".

Being good sports, and knowing I would not ask this without reason, several folks did just that. All came back with the same grinning report: "holy shit, they're fucking sperm!" And they are right. This is not an interpretation or seeing something that isn't there. This is a massive collection of blue and yellow tear-dropped bulby-things with wiggly tails all heading towards the center light. In other words, it's a huge, illuminated model of sperm trying to fertilize an egg.

Now who puts a massive sperm chandelier in a lobby of an otherwise nice place that caters weddings, christenings, graduations, etc.? The thing that got me though was that every single one of the people who went out to look at this light, all came back with the same conclusion (although to be fair, there really is no other conclusion) and yet all of these same people walked right under, next to, and away from this giant zygote without noticing it. I'm not sure what amazed me more: the chandelier itself.....the fact that the owners CHOSE this monstrosity for their lobby..........or that no one noticed what it depicted without being asked to look at it directly.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Tumblr milestone

So I recently got a congratulatory notice from Tumblr informing me that "Caption Hell"   has reached 100 posts! Woo-fucking-hoo.  Given recent events I am beginning to wonder if I'd get more positive feedback over there if my Tumblr featured swastikas and white hoods instead of quips to pathetic captions? Given the paucity of 'likes' I get, I am thinking that maybe too many visitors out there actually like crappy captions and resent me making fun of them. Oh well, too bad. I'm not going to stop. Even without positive feedback I still find the process therapeutic.

---------

And speaking of therapy.....or those in need of it.....in other news, Kathy Griffin has publicly retracted her apology over her decapitated Trump photo...........three months later! She even went on a tirade over the fuss given the glaring disparity between the gravity of one cheesy photo from a meager entertainer and the endless offences committed by the President of the United States....who never apologizes for anything. Hmmm. That sounds familiar. Maybe if Kathy read "Collected Submissions" she might have retracted her lame-ass apology the next day? 

She also went on to claim that Trump has systematically destroyed her career. Now I'm no fan of Mr. Trump, but let's look at some facts, Kathy:
1: Trump has never done anything systematically.
2: You never had much of a career to begin with
3: You've done plenty on your own to destroy whatever career you did have.

Anything you do now just looks like desperation. 

--------------

And on a lighter note, in looking for fodder for "Caption Hell", I came across this:

Who am I to deny this perky cutie her dream? You gotta love a gal with simple goals.

Friday, August 25, 2017

My new favorite photo

Between celebrating Rosa's birthday last week and getting things ready for the upcoming RenFaire, things of a DD nature have been a bit sparse around here. That's not such a bad thing though, and I am not in any crazed state of need for attention.....but it does explain why the more recent posts have gone off in directions other than DD or spanking in general. And variety is a good thing.

One photo that I came across recently in my search for blog topics has just intrigued the HELL out of me:

Easily my favorite photo of the year so far!

There are many reasons I love this image:

#1: It is happening in a public place

#2: They 'seem' genuine......as opposed to being models on an assignment.....even though someone is obviously photographing them and the dominant woman is not wearing panties (which would suggest this was planned)

#3: It depicts one of my favorite activities.....and between two women!

and #4: I can't look at it without trying to figure out the actual circumstances surrounding the public licking.....or imagining myself in the submissive lady's place.

One thing that the internet has taught me is that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. I would be disheartened, though not surprised, to learn that this was indeed a planned production with professional models.....but I have hope it isn't.

My ideal and plausible scenario is that the submissive woman became in some way obligated to perform this task in public......whether as a lost bet, a dare, or perhaps a punishment or act of submission. Though agreed to beforehand, the couple and friends were just waiting for the right moment, and then, the dominant lady just informed her submissive to get licking as another friend immortalized her public act of deference.

Another possibility is that the submissive, perhaps after a few drinks, offered to do this service and the dominant woman took her up on it......again having another friend capture the moment on a cell phone. If this was the case though, I'd expect to see her panties pulled down but still visible. Although she could have slid them off from under her skirt and put them out of sight.

So.......who knows? Regardless, I still love it! Even if it was more contrived than my ideal speculations, there are a few facts that don't change, namely, that the submissive is still willingly licking someone's butthole in a public bar and having that captured in a photo. Even if she was paid for her efforts, SHE is still the one who went home with the taste of ass in her mouth...........and who has her very visible face all over the internet as the girl who licks butts in bars! Try working that into a resume!



Thursday, August 24, 2017

Nipple clips

The old song goes: "You always hurt the one you love......". So it's not surprising that we kinky folk can rave about how we love nipples...............and then turn around and torture them for fun. Now I've seen some crazy shit done to these perky nubs, but for the purpose of today's post, I am only going to show clip/clamp/clothespin types of 'torture'.

Very nice.

Now if you look around, you'll see a lot of ladies don't seem too bothered by a bit of pinch on their nips. Just look at this perky thing:

You have to wonder if using one's nipples for a place to keep those extra clothespins on laundry day was just practicality.....or something more? Whatever the reason, she doesn't seem to be too distressed by her twin adornments.

And this Amazon is just way too smug for a person in a submissive role.

Here's a look that seems to be saying, "I got this.....no problem." On one hand I just love her.......but I feel a little taunted by her expression? I can't help but think that if I was Topping this athletic beauty that  I'd just smile back at her, take the string from her mouth, yank hard.......and then fetch my set of vise grips? 

But nipple clamp stoicism is not universal. While some ladies seem to hardly notice them, others obviously do. They certainly seem to have gotten her attention:

Now there's an 'oh my'-face if  I ever saw one. Either the cameraman is doing a really funny trick, or this buxom cutie has just learned about what happens when something hard and unyielding latches onto something soft and sensitive?

Other clamped cuties are a bit more reflective.....

Is that a look of endurance......or ecstasy? Either way, she's beautiful in her submission, and not nearly as immune to what she's feeling as those previous cuties.

As someone who can appreciate pain, I find these previous photos cute but just a little disappointing. After all, I may not want to see these lovelies damaged......but a little obvious discomfort might be more appropriate. And this next one is a nice combination of beauty, composition, and just the right touch of 'ouch':

Great alternative use for chopsticks. And when you're done playing.....you can order up some sushi!


But it wouldn't be a complete exploration of "nipple torture" if there wasn't some obvious torture. So let's conclude with this one where the poor gal is the victim of her own overly-generous breast size:

Yeah, she is definitely feeling it. I'll bet she's wishing she was an A-cup about now.