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Tuesday, July 17, 2018

RED, White, & Blue

Today I'm going to take a little break from dares and talk about something that is just making me simultaneously sick and gleeful: yesterday's Trump/Putin press conference.

On one hand, hearing a president side with a proven, hostile, foreign power over his own country makes me want to vomit. But every cloud has a silver lining, and this one certainly does for me. 

I grew up constantly hearing arch-conservatives rail against anything even remotely "communist". "BETTER DEAD THAN RED". Remember?  But now all that has apparently changed. Your daddies were all wrong! The loyal 30% who support Trump in everything he says and does, and who for decades decried communism and Russia as the epitome of anti-Americanism are now forced to swallow all that apparent nonsense and happily kneel alongside their orange-haired boy for a nice long slurp of Russian ass.......from taint to tailbone. (I hope it goes down like broken glass.) And just to complete the image for me......could y'all please sing "Proud to be an American" between licks? (and  be sure to tell us later exactly what Russian ass tastes like? caviar? borscht? treason? )

And after "y'all" capture that nice Russian-ass flavor in your Duck Dynasty beards, you can hop back into those big 'ol 4x4 sporting not only one of these:

......but one of these:  

......right alongside, so you dump the Coors lite out of your coolers and replace it with some nice vodka, and go fishin' with your comrades.  I suppose I can see how you good ol' boys got confused since the flag your daddies hated looked like this: 

.....and the new one waving on your Chevy is good ol' "red, white, & blue".......just like Trump and you. But it's all good. Your man knows what he's doing, right? He's a 'stable genius' after all. And he's there for YOU. He is Making America Great  strong communist at a time.  LOL.  And maybe when all this is over, you guys can solve the age old question:

'How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Russian conspiracy?'

Putin is all bent over and waiting, so go to it. Your president is ready and eager. Are you?

Monday, July 16, 2018

Fondles' Dare

Fondles's dare was all about the embarrassment of self-spanking. And I can say that there is definitely a good blend of embarrassment....along with a decent amount of sting in doing one.

Unfortunately I may not be as adorable as this young lady, but I did my best!

I enlisted my Little Monster, Ana, as my camera person, and also as my witness to keep me 'honest'. (which she took full advantage of as you'll see.) So here it is:




There you have it! And while I can't say "no male subs were injured in the making of this film"....(because my butt is definitely sore right now. LOL) I can say that no make-up was used to get that color! Also for any sticklers for detail, yes, if you count the strokes, there ARE more than 21.......but that was a combination of trying to get the cut/flow right between 'takes'......AND relying on my mischievous Monster on when to stop. And she fully admitted afterwards, with a grin, that she definitely knew she was having me go past 21! (Would you expect anything else from someone who routinely assigns punishments in the hundreds?)

So hopefully Fondles will appreciate our film making effort. And I can honestly say this is the FIRST TIME I've had an actual kinky video of myself put online!  

Special thanks to Fondles for a very different dare, and to my Monster, for being such an impish assistant. Next up will be sissysnow's piggy dare, but that is going to depend on a lot of factors so it may not be up right away.....but Rosa DID agree to participate. I also think my Monster is going to be making a couple of Jackass July suggestions herself.....but I will wait for her actual comments before saying anything more. 

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Merry's Clean-up

It's nearly 10:00 pm and Rosa and I have just settled down after hosting our "second" wedding reception for a small group of close friends at our home, very much the way we did the initial reception with our two sets of kids. So we did a little bit of clean-up and are now relaxing and winding down for the evening, The rest of the clean-up can wait until tomorrow.

So after I sat down to my lap-top to check things out, I saw Merry's  comment about wanting to see the 'clean-up' shots from her special "birthday dare". And I figured....."WTF? Clean-up/clean-up. Perfect. Why not just post the pictures now? I already have them stored and it won't take long..........annnnnnnnnnnd doing so perfectly fits in with the self-effacing  flavor of "Jackass July", especially as I will explore in more detail in an upcoming post on "embarrassment". 

So without further ado, here are two shots of the the aftermath of Merry's dare:

First up, the immediate mess left from keeping a half gallon of ice cream nestled in my crotch on a warm, Summer day for as long as it took to place all of the French fry 'candles', and then take all of the pictures. I've never claimed to possess a groin-rooted anaconda in the first place.......but factor in a frozen chunk of strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream sitting on what little I had to start with and can (barely) see for yourself that this is certainly not a photo any guy would use as a bragging point.

I then hit said nubbin with a good dose of the garden hose I kept within reach for that purpose. It did a fine job of washing away the melted goo, but little to alter the pathetic miniaturized state I was in! And though it's hard to see in the photo,( as is almost everything), there was a very noticeable rosy pinkness to my chilled parts very akin to how one's ears look after shoveling snow. 

So as far as the impact "Jackass July" may have on me? There is nothing about these two shots that any guy would be anything other than embarrassed about. And I am no exception. Posting these 'aftermath photos' is far more embarrassing to me than the cute dare that preceded them. So ladies, feel free to giggle, and guys..........consider this a little  something to make you feel better about yourselves! LOL
(Unless, of course, you are even smaller, in which have my sympathy!)

Friday, July 13, 2018

Happy Birthday, Merry

Well today's the day and here I am to wish one of my most loyal readers a very "Merry Birthday" per her requested "Jackass July" Dare. As lovely as the cake above is, that's NOT what mischievous Merry was after at all. What she requested was more like this:

Chillin' (literally) in my backyard.....with my son's pool beer pong raft in the background!

And from the other angle, proving I am actually outside as requested.

An aerial close-up proving also that there are indeed 57 French fry 'candles'. (you can try counting them) ;-) It was not easy getting them to stick.

As I mentioned in my "First Dare" post a couple of days ago, I do have some other embarrassing shots from the 'clean-up' after the main party.......but since I didn't hear back from Merry, I just went with these.

So, Happy Birthday, Merry! I hope you have a great day and year, and hope my little morning greeting started it off with a smile. All the best, Dear!


{ Any latecomers to the "Jackass July" dare-month should scroll back to the end of June to the "Kinky Jackass" post and others following it to get in on the action before time runs out!}

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Julie's Dare

"Anybody got a light?"

Well, as promised, I honored "Strict Julie's" dare this morning since the Little Monster came home from a day of errands last night and handed me a tampon!

So after breakfast, off I went to do an interesting insertion. Now my butt is quite experienced in handling intruders of various girths, so inserting a tampon was no problem.....but I think the issue at play here is what is being inserted. It's a feminine hygiene thing and I think women in general (and Ms. Julie in particular) seem to enjoy giving guys a little taste of what they go through every month......even if it means resorting to a different orifice!

"Orifice". What a great word. I love the way it sounds and what it means. I love orifices! And as dares go I thought that for me, the edgy part of this one was knowing that showing off the tampon string ALSO meant revealing to the general audience what my usually hidden little pucker actually looks like. In the past, shots here have been mostly cheeky.......with the occasional plug shot, and those sort of obscure the pucker more than show it off. So this was new territory for me on this blog. And I suppose I could have just shown a 'cheek shot' with the little white string dangling down between them, and technically have honored the dare. But since the whole point of "Jackass July" is revealing things openly that actually DO move my embarrassment needle, I decided to be bold.

So, I took a bunch of shots that range from cute&corny, to flagrant exposure, ensuring that viewers of differing tastes could find something they preferred. Here they are, enjoy the ones you like, skip the ones you don't:

We start with the most innocent of the bunch. For all anyone knows I could be just standing there with a white cord tucked between my buns. But, you all know I'd never cheat like that.

And just in case you doubt me......this shot should remove any doubt as to what's at the other end of that string. (And 'yes', I shaved for you guys. No way was I going to be this exposed and not be tidy!)

This shot was admittedly accidental, but I like the way it turned out. It takes something perverse and makes it kind of artsy. 

And lastly a bit of mugging for the camera. I thought that I should include a shot that had both the string and my face in it so that there could be no doubt that I actually did the dare and didn't just select images from the Internet and say it was me. LOL

So, Julie, I hope you are satisfied with how I went about honoring your dare. And I hope the rest of you enjoyed at least part of this little adventure. Tomorrow we will be celebrating Merry's birthday in a very unique way so be sure to drop by and wish her well!

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

First Dare

With Friday the 13th only days away, it was time to get my butt moving on Merry's dare. Today was the perfect day for it, and so I got my supplies together and got busy.

I found a spot in my yard where I would be able to get decent light without a lot of indecent exposure. (Just prior to "Naked Gardening Day" I did a little research as to the legality of being naked in one's own backyard and found, to my surprise, that the law is sort of weird on it. Technically it all comes down to visibility. If you can be naked without being seen by a neighbor, even from a window, bare that ass and rub on the sunscreen, but if anyone can see you, and doesn't like what they see, you can be reported and charged. AND, if a MINOR sees you? HOLY CRAP! So be prudent in your lack of prudery. It was the main reason I didn't go all out for Naked Gardening Day this year!) Fortunately I had just such a spot near one of my sheds and rear fence.

I set all all the things I'd need on a table within reach and unwrapped the towel I had around me so I could assemble Merry's "Birthday Sundae". There were some things I learned:

1: A half gallon of ice cream seems a lot colder atop a bare crotch than in one's mouth.

2: A half gallon of ice cream doesn't leave a lot of space for "candles".

3: French fries.....even ones I baked longer than usual for crispness....are not that easy to stick into cold ice cream.

4: Selfie sticks don't always work. (I missed some good shots and had to re-take them. Good thing I checked before cleaning up!)

Anyway, the good news is that I was successful in honoring the parameters of Merry's dare and I will post the requested shot on Friday, her birthday.....unless she comments that she wants it sooner! LOL

I also tried to take a shot of me wrapped in my towel holding up the supplies before getting down to business, but those were part of the ones that didn't come out. I also took shots of 'the aftermath'....prior to hosing off, and after.  (Amazing what effect a lapful of ice cream can have on the male anatomy when left there long enough to insert 57 French fries and take a round of selfies!) However, since these were not requested I won't post them unless Merry asks me to.


Other dare status: Ana has been very busy but recently managed to reply to a couple of the comments from Fondles and Julie. ( See last post, "Jackass July" ).  She has decided that we would go with the higher of Fondles' suggestions for the self-spanking and she will also instruct me on which implement I am to use for them. That video might take some time to complete, but it should definitely be up by the end of this month. And Ana is also going to be supplying me with the tampon for Julie's dare. That one, since it is relatively simple to execute, will be posted shortly after I receive the needed supplies.

Any other requests may still be submitted before the end of this month......even if someone wants to 'enter' more than once. Even if I or Ana decline a dare, doesn't mean we hold the suggestion against anyone, so don't be shy. And please don't let my unpleasant exchange with "Jean" spook you. I have very definite reasons for why I responded as I did, which anyone can verify with a scroll back to the post I cited. 

But if I sort of 'know' you from here or the 'blogosphere' and your suggestion is given in the spirit intended by this whole thing, by all means submit it. There's still more than half of July left!

{Edited to add: After receiving sissysnow's dare, I realized that it is very hard for people to know what I may have laying around and what I would have to go out and buy......which is not really practical for my budget right now. So, I thought of the things I have laying around that I don't think I have posted pictures of before and figured I'd give you all a list of possibilities (other than the stuff you come up with on your own). I own a homemade KTB "spiked tube", pouch panties from merely feminine to downright frilly, a maid's apron, enema gear, various plugs...including the dreaded 'squid', a urethral 'sound' insert, clips of various types (though as I said, pure pain dares are not what this is about), the piggy "stuff" mentioned in my reply to sissysnow, a spiked seating pad that results in 'butt dimples', a queening chair, a strap-on dildo, and there is something else but I need to talk to Ana before I post what it is. Anyway, maybe this list will prompt some "doable" non-costly dares? Use your imaginations! }

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Jackass July

I hope everyone had a great 4th. We certainly did. And it was a whirlwind going from wedding to fireworks with hardly a breath in-between. Before going into my update on "Jackass July" I just wanted to share this post-July 4th picture I found that I just find so adorable:

Young, patriotic, Lesbian love. So sweet!

Now, onto the status of the dares so far. As of the initial sacrifice of my personal pride for the month of July, I have gotten two from Fondles and one from Merry. I will now say that both of these dares WILL be done and eventually posted. (I also want to officially say to Fondles that from reading your blog I know you have a little bit of a Top streak in you .....despite being primarily submissive with BIKSS. So, since YOU asked for a bit of public self-spanking, and since I will be honoring that request, it would only make sense that you get the honor of deciding how many smacks that self-spanking should consist of. Just leave a comment with your recommendation.)

Also, I will admit being a bit surprised that no one seems to be interested in the two "squid-related" dares I volunteered. (To re-cap, one dare would be a fore and aft shot of me and Mr. Squid, showing him in place and the embarrassing effect of his presence on my 'front'. The second would be a 'before', 'during', and 'after' shot of my bottom prior to the squid going in, in, and how wearing him affects me back there.) I am still willing to do these revealing sequences as well......but ONLY if some reader comments to that effect. Otherwise, the offer expires at the end of July. And just to throw it out there as a teaser for what these dares would mean for yours truly, here is a shot of the 'squid' hanging out next to a standard beer can for an idea of just how challenging this red menace is:

Yep, that's what would be impaling my hinder for the general amusement of those interested.

Lastly, keep in mind that if you missed the initial post and want to get in on the fun, you have until the end of this month to submit your dare via a comment. (you can check the post, "Kinky Jackass" for the official information/rules for submitting dares.)

So, there it is. Hopefully, once I hear from Fondles, you will be seeing my requested video as soon as it can be arranged, and once we get closer to her birthday, you'll be seeing my photo for Merry.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018


Tomorrow is the 4th of July, and as promised, today I am going to finally post the main body of images from the photo shoot with Ana. Naturally the theme was geared towards this great holiday and features patriotic elements from various sources so that any appreciative viewer can salute our country and Ana's the same time:

Flag, feet, and a filter!

Same pose but without all the gimmicks.

Flag-waving with prehensile toes.

Toes with star quality.

A closer perspective.

I love this one!


Only thing missing is fireworks!

A slightly noir take on Captain America's shield.

Ana with her favorite hero.


Using his shield to fend off a toe-attack.......though I can't understand why he would want to!

Many thanks again to my lovely model, Ana, and wishes to you all for a wonderful holiday, with my main wish being for greater unity in a time when divisions seem more important than solidarity. 

Monday, July 2, 2018

Backyard Wedding

On Saturday, June 30th, Rosa and I formally got married and are now officially and legally "Husband & Wife", after considering ourselves as such for a long time already. 

We had a person perform the short secular ceremony in our garden on a day of hot but otherwise perfect weather and held a small reception for just our two sets of kids and their SO's.  Our table theme was "mix & match".......just like our relationship....set up on our enclosed porch where we also hooked up a portable air conditioner to combat the 90 degree weather. Every plate and glass was different yet matched to its setting, but each setting was a different color or theme.

The table for 10 from one end.......

.....and from the other.

Rosa's setting. Even the flatware was mixed.

The color theme tied in to all of the mismatched plates and was a repeated use of "multi-color & beige". Rosa made the runners herself. And I decorated the centerpieces with succulents in a beige tile pot I made and then added a beige candle with multicolored glass beads.

Several of our kids spoke and delivered toasts. The meal was a combination of mix & match appetizers followed by a main course split between Polish and Peruvian cuisines. After lunch we all changed into swimsuits and hit the pool. 

You always hope for a perfect wedding day but rarely get one where everything goes right.......but we did!

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Three things

Over the course of this week I have seen several issues or trends that have turned into more fuel for "Tribal Warfare" when they should be things anyone with a brain could agree on regardless of their party afiliation:

1: Acceptance of the political answer to the question that wasn't asked.
Remember the old joke about the teacher who asks a student, "if you have 5 apples and you eat 2, how many do you have left?" only to have the kid say, "I don't like apples so I wouldn't eat any." ? If you've been watching any press conferences, you probably have wondered if Sarah Huckabee Sanders was that kid.

Young Sarah

And while that would be an understandable reaction, the truth is you can see this evasion every day on every channel coming out of the mouths of people from every side who don't want to admit something unpleasant or answer something difficult.  And it isn't new. This tactic has been going on for decades or longer. 

And as citizens we accept this as a norm. Why? I would love to see interviewers who get an answer like this stop the interview and say, "until you answer the question I asked, we aren't going any further." and if the guest tries to fill the silent air time with anything other than an answer, they should be muted. AND it shouldn't matter WHO does it. And if it happens during a press conference, reporters should stick to a tactic of continuing to ask the same question, even if the press secretary moves to another person, until it is answered.

2: Allowing the President to accrue more autonomous executive power.
This too is NOT solely a "Trump Issue"! This started slowly under various presidents from both parties for decades, with the worst offenders being Clinton, Bush2, Obama, & now Trump. These folks, from BOTH parties slowly let the genie out of the bottle and now it's getting harder to stuff him back in.

Our Founding Fathers were careful to establish a government where, while the executive branch had the ability to make things happen, mainly in times of crisis when a quick decision needed to be made, most things required Congressional approval. After King George III, no one wanted another monarch. But we are heading that way.

One of the reasons this came about was the growing polarity in politics that made compromise and cooperation obsolete and replaced it with stubborn bi-partisan stonewalling. In order to get ANYTHING done, presidents began to use executive orders more frequently.........but it's a bad way to go. Which brings us to:

3: Civility
You have heard a LOT about this one lately, and I recently saw someone who agrees with my take on this.......but maybe for different reasons:

While I like a lot of what Noah says, I would like to take it a step further and say that public 'incivility' should encompass both sides. Folks with extreme views on the left should be just as apt to be publicly shamed as those on the right. It should get to a point where NO politician is cozy and safe unless they are actively working for compromise solutions to get things done. Let it become unbearable to be anything but a moderate voice with disparities in ideology being actively worked out rather than stubbornly stuck to in some ridiculous, 'pure' form.

And if such a thing came about, THEN Congress could get back to productive work regardless of who held a majority of seats, AND no one would need to resort to the very risky policy of just handing over more unchecked authority to a president......ANY president.

The funny thing is the way things are now, my arguments are already agreed halves! If I said, "Obama went too far with executive orders" folks on the right would cheer, but if I said the same thing about Bush or Trump they'd be less agreeable. If I said "yeah, go harass that administration official!" I'd likely get agreement from whatever party was NOT the focus of the harassment.  The thing is maybe this polarized view coming from US is the real problem? Maybe being a public with extreme positions and a reluctance to compromise is why we have representatives who, because they want our votes, are less likely to compromise? And maybe we accept evasive answers as a norm, and are willing to throw truth on the scrap heap because we know deep down, we can't even be honest about ourselves?

Tuesday, June 26, 2018


About a week ago or so, around Father's Day, Ana was teasing me that she was pondering a slip for me......but sort of playful in tone. Then some 'life' got in the way and before the slip was ever written out, I managed to drive my Little Monster crazy in almost the exact way I did Rosa: impatient pestering for attention. (And both hate when I do it!)

Not long after the pestering, the subject of the slip came up, and Ana was still interested in writing one out but was having a hard time with the 'reason'. So, we talked about stuff and after talking about how much my bouts of insecurity-driven pestering bother her for two reasons: 1. they are objectively annoying and interfere with whatever she is doing when these moods strike me, and 2. they suggest a lack of trust that I am "still loved" when it is patently obvious that I am. As a result, the "play slip" ended up turning into THIS ONE:

I did a little creative editing and obscuring of real names, but otherwise this is the slip Ana left for her Mom to deal with. 

I further promised Ana that at the moment this was to happen, I would voluntarily ask Rosa to make this a punishment I'd remember.  It was this past Saturday morning when Rosa suggested  we "take care of this" and I stuck to my promise. I told Rosa that I had had a long talk with Ana about the issue being addressed......and that it was not unlike the one Rosa and I just dealt with......and that I was prepared for this to be a serious punishment.  As is always the case with slips, Rosa put herself in the mindset of the person who issued the slip, and handled it accordingly. (She even added a few 'extra' to get the point across.)

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Kinky Jackass

This post is going to be very different from anything my readers have seen before on Collected Submissions and it is quite probable it is not going to be of interest to everyone …..or even most who visit here. But given the nature of this blog, I would be surprised to learn that NO ONE out there would find this intriguing. And I am looking for something fresh and exciting to revitalize my kinky nature.

Lately I have posted a lot of self-revelation, from personal reminiscences to revealing images. None were meant to sound self-aggrandizing, rather the opposite, they were all meant to be a little tongue-in-cheek, and even a little humbling. None were intended to be brazen, boastful flashes of me in any state of glorious pride. Most recently they were me spanked hard, me in a post-tease state of frustration, and splayed with a glass butt plug…..hardly fodder for braggadocio. 

People who know me have come to be amused by my propensity for imperiling myself for the amusement of others……(maybe I should sue “Jackass” for stealing my schtick, LOL) I have been like this since college…...always the first to do the craziest dares. The thing is though, after a while the line has to keep moving further and further for the dare aspect to work.

In my life I have know a handful of people who have successfully managed on a handful of occasions, to challenge me with something that, while doable, turned out to be much more embarrassing in the moment than when I boldly and confidently agreed to it.  I remember each of those times vividly and fondly.

So what I am going to do is offer a broad challenge of sorts. I am going to take suggestions from those who feel like they might have something to suggest that they’d find amusing to see that would be personally embarrassing for me. And to sort of give an idea of what my range might be I am going to put two pretty embarrassing ideas on the table that I WILL do if anyone leaves a comment, “yeah, KD, DO that! I’ll laugh my ass off.” And even though I’m suggesting them, these are things that I would not just do without some sort of public push. Regular commenting rules apply: you have to let us know who you are even if it's a pseudonym.

One offer is that I would be willing, though predictably mortified, to post a set of two selfies, one from the front and one from the rear, showing myself impaled by our largest plug (that we call the “Squid”) and the other publicly showing what I once wrote about in a story called “The Mushroom Effect” which is the utter shriveled defeat of my manhood that occurs when I am anally impaled by a large intruder.  If anyone wants to see this admittedly comical miniaturization of the modest amount I have to begin with, now’s your chance to say so.

The second is sort of along those same lines but focuses more on the rear. I will also offer to post a series of at least three “butt shots” as a blatant public display of anal defeat by showing a “before”, “during”, and “after” image of my most private of places when impaled by the Squid.  

So those are two of my own ideas. They are open to your approval to start things off, but they are mainly meant to serve as a guide for the type of things that are possible for your own ideas. And it is these outside ideas…..these “things” that I personally would not have come up with on my own…..that  I am most interested in. So surprise me. Shock me. Challenge me with you most devilish dares. And if it is not illegal, absurdly dangerous, have some stupid long term consequence (i.e. write on body with permanent marker) or physically impossible for me to do, I will give them all an honest try. The main idea is that they be somehow very humbling, and while there can certainly be an element of discomfort as well…….pain is not the primary goal. I can think of plenty of things that are frighteningly painful on my own. Also, please make your dare specific to me. While my Rosa is a good sport and might indulge some ideas, I cannot speak for her unequivocal cooperation. If you do have an idea that requires her involvement, you can ask, but as I said I cannot guarantee those will happen to the degree that I am willing to honor solo requests. I do reserve the right to refuse any dare that does not fulfill the parameters stated but to keep myself honest I will let Ana weigh in on any suggestion I don’t wish to do. If she feels I am dismissing a legitimate dare simply because it’s too embarrassing, she can comment to that effect and I agree to abide by her ruling. (you can’t get any more fair than that!)

Now this is not going to be a regular feature or new direction for this blog. The usual types of posts will continue to appear even as the occasional challenge is met and posted. This is more of a public experiment. We could just say that if March is the official month for readers to ask blog hosts “questions”, let’s let the upcoming month of July be for issuing and taking on dares and challenges. If this resonates with people and generates some cool ideas, maybe next time I’ll run a similar challenge with different parameters?

Friday, June 22, 2018

Portals for Mortals

Back in December of 2017 I did a post called “Moocho Glassy-ass” wherein I discussed butt plugs in general with a particular emphasis on my fond feelings regarding those made of glass. At the time I used models to tell my POV, like this one:

I can't see how anyone can NOT find this adorable.....especially with the flipped-up tag!

….and while she IS adorable, maybe with all of the soul-baring and personal exposures lately, I felt: ‘maybe it’s time to really put myself out there too?' 

I explained in my December post how I felt that glass plugs were the ultimate in exposure…..a window into the most modestly hidden area of a person, where everything is on view. It is in that spirit of submissive exhibitionism…...exhibitionism that is less an act of aggression (like the proverbial ‘flasher’ in a raincoat) and intended more as a act of self-deprecation that I post little little memento…..or even ‘trophy’ if you will. And while I know there are readers who will be like “yuck, a butt", there might be some who will bemusedly snicker at my flagrant exposure…...and it is for those people that I blushingly post this ‘selfie’:

Maybe those who have come to know me might find it cool to remember that if I am ever an ‘asshole’ to them…...THEY know they can always scroll back to this post and smirk at  just what a gaping asshole I can be. It would be very hard for me to remain arrogant to anyone who felt the need to take me down a peg and remind me of just how much they know of me, without me having that same advantage over them. So enjoy (to those who do)....and my apologies to those who want to now bleach their eyes. For those folks, I hereby include a couple more glass-wearing cuties to make up for my ‘old man ass’. Hopefully these girls will restore your vision. LOL

What impressed me about this one is the apparent indication by scale that the lady on display is a petite little thing who must have had an interesting time getting this in.

And just look at this solidly built honey!  I can't say that when wearing a glass plug I have that look of smug pride that she's beaming. I feel much more humbled by the experience. (I just wish these models would ditch those dumbass shoes!)

Thursday, June 21, 2018

"Elaiiinnne!!!! Elaiinnnne!!!!"

While I was hunting for images for the piece on my mother, I came across the occasional  rendering of two mixed gender kids, presumably brother and sister, being punished together. While such a thing has never happened to me, the images unlocked an old memory that I thought I would share.

This Sassy Bottoms image is one that helped get me thinking.

When I was in 6th grade I had a heart-rending crush on a girl named Elaine. (no blog-altered name change, it was really ‘Elaine’). But even at that age, my thoughts of Elaine ran towards the ……...alternate. Sure, I imagined kissing her, but how specific that kiss was! At night in bed I would fantasize about having Elaine’s naked body beside me…...but not in some tangled embrace of passion. Oh no. Not me! My fantasy was VERY specific:

Elaine and I would be naked together, BUT we’d be naked side-by-side with only our hips and shoulders touching. Our arms would be straight up over our heads, wrists tied and secured to some rusty rings on a punishment table as prisoners of some nameless group bent on torturing us, not for information, but their own sadistic pleasure whaled away on our young and tender bottoms.

Elaine would be very scared and I would console her. I would tell her we would eventually escape and I’d take care of her, and that we just had to get through this for now. She’d look at me like I was her hero, as old, worn paddles struck us over and over. I’d imagine her face when it was her turn to be smacked and then imagine her looking at me when it was my turn. And then…...when we were sweaty and nearly exhausted, our bottoms worn raw and ablaze, she’d lean towards me with tears on her face and we’d kiss. And later, once we were released from being bound, I’d imagine gently rubbing her welted bottom to soothe it as she sniffled with waning tears.

The reason I remember this so vividly is because it was a fantasy I replayed endlessly. Sometimes I would even position myself as if it was happening with my pillows beside me in lieu of my beloved and semi-act along with my thoughts. I was a weird kid, what can I say?

What strikes me as interesting about this little scenario is how different it was from anything I began to desire later. Any fantasies of such a kinky nature involving a pretty girl were usually more FemDom in nature. There was no need to drag in some group of anonymous torturers, the girl would BE my torturer. And she would never suffer one bit. Even in this early fantasy, there’d be no reason why Elaine had to suffer alongside me. I could have just as easily imagined sacrificing myself for her and then having her show her appreciation once I was let go. But that’s not how I scripted it. A few times I imagined saying something to that effect to our captors, but  they would never agree to the offer and Elaine would end up spanked hard just like me.

Now, in looking at images and reading the occasional account of the “submissive couple” who is put through their paces by a dominant third party, I even find it difficult to relate…….most of the time. For example, I cannot imagine ever wanting to jointly submit WITH Rosa beside me, but if I think about other people I’ve known, I can….though rarely…...find someone from my past that I could envision being punished with. But it’s never as a couple, but rather as a friend sharing the same fate…..a fellow submissive/partner in crime. My sympathy would be with her, but my love would be for my captor. I am sure there is a reason for this and if  had to speculate it would probably be that now, only a dominant party would seem attractive to me to have as my love interest. Perhaps as a kid, I didn’t quite get that? Perhaps. Or maybe I just never saw Elaine as a Dominant? Either way, I suppose that’s why I do enjoy the images of two friends or a brother & sister getting roasted together. It even works with two culprits of the same gender when there’s humor involved.

Co-culprits at school.

At home taking turns OTK.

A mom's "Final Solution".

School troubles again!

Looking back to where it all happened.

A knee for each of them.

In French too!

Popular cartoon characters aren't immune.

Sassy seemed to really like this theme.

On a side note, one person from my past that I pondered jointly suffering with was the woman you’ve heard me refer to as “Wolverine”.  She would never switch and so our relationship was one where I was the full-time dominant. She could take so much without outcry and heal so quickly afterwards that I sometimes imagined the embarrassment of being punished together by a third party only to have her handle it more stoically than me. LOL

If that was 'crush' would be on the Top!

Unfortunately, or of the 'double-spanking' images out there feature two female victims. I love the look on the spanker's face.

Something very cute about this.

I wonder if these are the same two kids who kept getting in trouble together at school?

I would LOVE to know the story behind this......if it's not a posed studio shot that is.

I think the spanker made better works of art with these butts than the painter of that painting!

(Just in case anyone is curious, nothing ever came of my crush with Elaine. I tried…..awkwardly…..but without success and eventually gave up as Elaine found someone else she preferred. Odds are it was for the best. What are the chances she’d want to reach romantic nirvana by having her butt roasted while tied to a splintery table?! LOL)