Ana has been studying for her upcoming DATs (admission test for dental school...the toothy version of the MCATs) and she is busy almost every minute. I even feel bad for her. But even though I know she is doing this, and is very stressed as well, I sometimes let my enthusiasm for chatting with her cloud my judgement. And even though I know she is working very hard at something very difficult, I end up bothering her. Sometimes I have let my eagerness to hear from her result in sending repeated texts when she doesn’t answer me right away. (Keep in mind, these are not important texts.)
On more than one occasion, she has gotten genuinely annoyed with me over this and we have discussed it often enough for me to know that her ‘non-replies’ are not some ominous sign that she doesn’t want to talk to me…...but merely the pre-occupation with what she’s doing. We always end up OK, ………….until I do it again.
Now, to be honest, I’m not a total idiot and I have made some serious progress with this, as even Ana has admitted, and now make conscious efforts to avoid bugging her, knowing that after her test is taken in April, I’ll have my monster back to the way we both would prefer. But I still have my lapses. One came right in the middle of texting over a bit of a play-bet we had that resulted in her earning a treat and me earning a penalty. Ana was texting me about it and then got busy when I texted her back, and when I didn’t hear from her right away, I kept pestering her until she sort of ‘text-snapped’ in caps: “I’M BUSY”. The timing of this all coincided with my conversations with Rosa over being stricter with me on serious issues.
As a result I felt very guilty and since Ana prefers when I make suggestions for my penalties that she can then choose from (Rosa is the same way), I suggested that perhaps she could use the owed penalty as an opportunity to impose some more strict than usual discipline for my annoying pesterings? Given the timeliness and importance of the issue, Ana agreed right away.
What followed was a series of exchanges, both in person and through texts, where we both sort of felt out each other’s willingness to take this to a much more serious level than we have in a while. Ana’s last few slips ….with the exception of perhaps he 2017/2018 one, were mostly playful or at worst….. just semi-serious. Though she has addressed real issues in the past, as you all know from reading my blog, those were never frequent. The last ‘real one’ was back in March of 2017....ironically a full year ago...... for yelling at her unfairly. This one now would be more along those lines.
What resulted from our talk was a slip far worse than I expected and a promise to not just deliver the slip, but personally discuss it with Rosa to ensure that any of the usually assumed playfulness associated with the practice was clearly replaced with a stern and sincere desire to truly teach me a lesson about how important it is for me to respect Ana’s time studying.
Ana I talked at length about the reality of living a DD lifestyle and what it means for each of us in the household. We discussed the efficacy of spanking as punishment and Ana admitted that I do respond well to it. It is something she has said before and the reason why she can hand over the discipline slips she has in the past: while it is clearly not for everyone......it seems tailor made for me. I brought up how my desire to behave is genuine, but how important it is that those with the maturity and authority to help me behave better, use that authority. I told her that she has always been exceptionally mature and has always had some level of entrusted authority, but now as an adult the age delineation between us no longer makes much sense except nostalgically. Any prior inhibition she felt based on age (of which there was always at least a little.....though not much LOL) is now kind of moot.....and getting "mooter" with each passing year. She thought about that for a bit and then admitted that there was indeed truth to that.
I told her also that I recently had a discussion with her Mom where we seriously discussed being true to our roles and how DD needed to be a partnership where the submissive partner was obligated to sincerely try to obey but that the person in authority also had an obligation to use rewards and discipline to guide the sub. You could not just have one without the other. And I told her that Rosa had not only already committed to stepping up but had done so. Since Ana has always had Rosa's encouragement, trust, and confidence, I basically told her that there was no reason for this to not also apply to her and her authority. It was a very similar discussion to the one we had around Father's Day. However, while Ana had agreed then to step things up, there still seemed to be some hesitation. This talk seemed to address the small issues blocking a full implementation of a ramped-up regimen. We then kind of agreed that this punishment would be the beginning of a deeper understanding between us as well.....an "ice-breaker" as it were. I told Rosa about the discussion, though I did not mention the impending punishment slip since Ana wants to deliver it herself, and Rosa agreed with Ana having more authority. In her opinion Ana certainly has proven herself mature and trustworthy enough to be taken seriously.
Ana has not only already made out the slip, but has shown it to me. It is pretty scary. The number is equal to the one she used for me yelling at her almost a year ago (666) but she also specifically wrote on the slip that Rosa should make each smack “extremely hard” and she should use the horrible wooden spoon to do so. She also talks about this being real discipline. So this is clearly no joke and we both know it. However, she has yet to meet with her mother to deliver it and discuss her desire that she deal with me seriously. I know Rosa well enough to know that if Ana presents my behavior as genuinely annoying and disruptive to her studying, I will really get it. Rosa is very protective and proud of what her daughter is doing and also knows how I can get, so depending on what is said between them, it is not a stretch to imagine Rosa showing little mercy on this issue.
Switch that lexan paddle to a large, bath-brushed-sized 'wooden spoon' and this image could be very close to how things play out.
Yesterday Ana texted me that she is coming home tonight and has Monday off. She specifically requested a “father/daughter day” for us on Monday so we could go shopping for a dress and then have a gyro lunch. I agreed and then brought up the slip, asking what she was going to do about it, and said that the time together Monday could be very good for reconnection if I end up punished over the weekend. Ana agreed but said she had mixed feelings as to whether she would find it more rewarding to hang out with me after my punishment was completed or before…………………...knowing it was coming. I replied that given the number, if she was torn between the two, it would be very easy to have the 666 spread over several installments so that I would have had some punishment prior to Monday, and more due after, but admitted that as a punishment, it was her decision and that I deserved no real say in how it should be handled…………. and she agreed………….without telling me what she was going to say to Rosa or when.
This image is accurate in 'spirit' only. Not only am I way older than that guy being swatted, but unlike Kailee.....Ana will not be present for my punishment.......but she derives sufficient satisfaction knowing it's either happening or going to happen.
So as of right now I know....anything can happen. One significant 'life intrusion' could disrupt this whole thing, BUT if things go according to what Ana has said so far, I could be in for a pretty rough weekend or beyond......and since the slip is already written, I don't have much hope of avoiding the inevitable. And that's okay. In fact......given the seriousness of the DATs, a sore butt is a small, yet appropriate price to pay for giving my Monster the uninterrupted time she needs to prepare.