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Friday, July 20, 2018

Un-PC thought

Anyone who knows me understands I am no advocate of violence against women, but when I saw this:

......I couldn't help but think that the person who produced it must have never seen a press conference with Sarah Huckabee Sanders, listened to a Kellyanne Conway interview, or heard Shakira sing. (Just saying.)

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Edge dare

I've written before about how Rosa suggests or allows the occasional lengthy tease when I'm home without her. The teases are a double-edged sword.....with emphasis on the "edge". On one hand they allow me to touch myself in a way that I am not normally permitted, but while the touching is fun for a while, having to stop before orgasm occurs results in a VERY frustrated state.

Though alone when doing these teases, it's very hard for me not to imagine the situation more like this.

Anyway, one of my dares was to post a shot of myself at the moment when one more touch would have sent me to an accidental and unpermitted 'explosion'. And to honor that dare, here is just such a shot from a rather recent teasing excursion.

So ready to 'go' and no green light to do so. Heart-breaking!

And unless something new comes along, I believe there are just two dares to go......both involving the "squid-dare" offers I made initially and Ana suggested I do. 

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Piggy dare

True funny story: yesterday our kids announced they all had work in the evening or were going out. After dropping one off, I mentioned to Rosa on our way home that we could maybe have a little adult fun since we'd have some rare privacy.......but first, I suggested that we take just a few, quick minutes and take the piggy dare shot requested by sissysnow. 

Rosa agreed, and since there were already leftover dishes from dinner, the timing was perfect. The only thing was she wished to not have her face show in this particular shot. (You can see her face in plenty of other places on the blog.....including our avatar.) She is still in the active work force, unlike old, retired me. LOL

I got 'dressed', popped in my piggy-tail plug, and greeted my Honey who had added a few fresh cherries to the dinner plate. Using a selfie stick we got a few shots and literally about 5 minutes after, our eldest came home! Had he stepped in just minutes earlier, he would have walked in on quite a scene! Eventually he went back out, but we never expected him to show up when he did.

Anyway, here are two shots. The high angle is because we have a window on each side and every time I tried to take a shot I'd have the image ruined with excess backlighting.

A  piggy with a selfie stick. You can see Rosa's lap and cute sandalled feet. (The nipple clips are pink piggy heads!)

Unfortunately I couldn't get the tail in the shot, but I assure you it was stuck right where you'd expect!

After the piggy shots I pampered my Honey and even gave her an "O"! (She also gave me one after a lot of teasing.) It was a good evening.....AND another dare is checked off the list! I hope you like it, sissysnow.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

RED, White, & Blue

Today I'm going to take a little break from dares and talk about something that is just making me simultaneously sick and gleeful: yesterday's Trump/Putin press conference.

On one hand, hearing a president side with a proven, hostile, foreign power over his own country makes me want to vomit. But every cloud has a silver lining, and this one certainly does for me. 

I grew up constantly hearing arch-conservatives rail against anything even remotely "communist". "BETTER DEAD THAN RED". Remember?  But now all that has apparently changed. Your daddies were all wrong! The loyal 30% who support Trump in everything he says and does, and who for decades decried communism and Russia as the epitome of anti-Americanism are now forced to swallow all that apparent nonsense and happily kneel alongside their orange-haired boy for a nice long slurp of Russian ass.......from taint to tailbone. (I hope it goes down like broken glass.) And just to complete the image for me......could y'all please sing "Proud to be an American" between licks? (and  be sure to tell us later exactly what Russian ass tastes like? caviar? borscht? treason? )

And after "y'all" capture that nice Russian-ass flavor in your Duck Dynasty beards, you can hop back into those big 'ol 4x4 sporting not only one of these:

......but one of these:  

......right alongside, so you dump the Coors lite out of your coolers and replace it with some nice vodka, and go fishin' with your comrades.  I suppose I can see how you good ol' boys got confused since the flag your daddies hated looked like this: 

.....and the new one waving on your Chevy is good ol' "red, white, & blue".......just like Trump and you. But it's all good. Your man knows what he's doing, right? He's a 'stable genius' after all. And he's there for YOU. He is Making America Great  strong communist at a time.  LOL.  And maybe when all this is over, you guys can solve the age old question:

'How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Russian conspiracy?'

Putin is all bent over and waiting, so go to it. Your president is ready and eager. Are you?

Monday, July 16, 2018

Fondles' Dare

Fondles's dare was all about the embarrassment of self-spanking. And I can say that there is definitely a good blend of embarrassment....along with a decent amount of sting in doing one.

Unfortunately I may not be as adorable as this young lady, but I did my best!

I enlisted my Little Monster, Ana, as my camera person, and also as my witness to keep me 'honest'. (which she took full advantage of as you'll see.) So here it is:




There you have it! And while I can't say "no male subs were injured in the making of this film"....(because my butt is definitely sore right now. LOL) I can say that no make-up was used to get that color! Also for any sticklers for detail, yes, if you count the strokes, there ARE more than 21.......but that was a combination of trying to get the cut/flow right between 'takes'......AND relying on my mischievous Monster on when to stop. And she fully admitted afterwards, with a grin, that she definitely knew she was having me go past 21! (Would you expect anything else from someone who routinely assigns punishments in the hundreds?)

So hopefully Fondles will appreciate our film making effort. And I can honestly say this is the FIRST TIME I've had an actual kinky video of myself put online!  

Special thanks to Fondles for a very different dare, and to my Monster, for being such an impish assistant. Next up will be sissysnow's piggy dare, but that is going to depend on a lot of factors so it may not be up right away.....but Rosa DID agree to participate. I also think my Monster is going to be making a couple of Jackass July suggestions herself.....but I will wait for her actual comments before saying anything more. 

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Merry's Clean-up

It's nearly 10:00 pm and Rosa and I have just settled down after hosting our "second" wedding reception for a small group of close friends at our home, very much the way we did the initial reception with our two sets of kids. So we did a little bit of clean-up and are now relaxing and winding down for the evening, The rest of the clean-up can wait until tomorrow.

So after I sat down to my lap-top to check things out, I saw Merry's  comment about wanting to see the 'clean-up' shots from her special "birthday dare". And I figured....."WTF? Clean-up/clean-up. Perfect. Why not just post the pictures now? I already have them stored and it won't take long..........annnnnnnnnnnd doing so perfectly fits in with the self-effacing  flavor of "Jackass July", especially as I will explore in more detail in an upcoming post on "embarrassment". 

So without further ado, here are two shots of the the aftermath of Merry's dare:

First up, the immediate mess left from keeping a half gallon of ice cream nestled in my crotch on a warm, Summer day for as long as it took to place all of the French fry 'candles', and then take all of the pictures. I've never claimed to possess a groin-rooted anaconda in the first place.......but factor in a frozen chunk of strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream sitting on what little I had to start with and can (barely) see for yourself that this is certainly not a photo any guy would use as a bragging point.

I then hit said nubbin with a good dose of the garden hose I kept within reach for that purpose. It did a fine job of washing away the melted goo, but little to alter the pathetic miniaturized state I was in! And though it's hard to see in the photo,( as is almost everything), there was a very noticeable rosy pinkness to my chilled parts very akin to how one's ears look after shoveling snow. 

So as far as the impact "Jackass July" may have on me? There is nothing about these two shots that any guy would be anything other than embarrassed about. And I am no exception. Posting these 'aftermath photos' is far more embarrassing to me than the cute dare that preceded them. So ladies, feel free to giggle, and guys..........consider this a little  something to make you feel better about yourselves! LOL
(Unless, of course, you are even smaller, in which have my sympathy!)

Friday, July 13, 2018

Happy Birthday, Merry

Well today's the day and here I am to wish one of my most loyal readers a very "Merry Birthday" per her requested "Jackass July" Dare. As lovely as the cake above is, that's NOT what mischievous Merry was after at all. What she requested was more like this:

Chillin' (literally) in my backyard.....with my son's pool beer pong raft in the background!

And from the other angle, proving I am actually outside as requested.

An aerial close-up proving also that there are indeed 57 French fry 'candles'. (you can try counting them) ;-) It was not easy getting them to stick.

As I mentioned in my "First Dare" post a couple of days ago, I do have some other embarrassing shots from the 'clean-up' after the main party.......but since I didn't hear back from Merry, I just went with these.

So, Happy Birthday, Merry! I hope you have a great day and year, and hope my little morning greeting started it off with a smile. All the best, Dear!


{ Any latecomers to the "Jackass July" dare-month should scroll back to the end of June to the "Kinky Jackass" post and others following it to get in on the action before time runs out!}

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Julie's Dare

"Anybody got a light?"

Well, as promised, I honored "Strict Julie's" dare this morning since the Little Monster came home from a day of errands last night and handed me a tampon!

So after breakfast, off I went to do an interesting insertion. Now my butt is quite experienced in handling intruders of various girths, so inserting a tampon was no problem.....but I think the issue at play here is what is being inserted. It's a feminine hygiene thing and I think women in general (and Ms. Julie in particular) seem to enjoy giving guys a little taste of what they go through every month......even if it means resorting to a different orifice!

"Orifice". What a great word. I love the way it sounds and what it means. I love orifices! And as dares go I thought that for me, the edgy part of this one was knowing that showing off the tampon string ALSO meant revealing to the general audience what my usually hidden little pucker actually looks like. In the past, shots here have been mostly cheeky.......with the occasional plug shot, and those sort of obscure the pucker more than show it off. So this was new territory for me on this blog. And I suppose I could have just shown a 'cheek shot' with the little white string dangling down between them, and technically have honored the dare. But since the whole point of "Jackass July" is revealing things openly that actually DO move my embarrassment needle, I decided to be bold.

So, I took a bunch of shots that range from cute&corny, to flagrant exposure, ensuring that viewers of differing tastes could find something they preferred. Here they are, enjoy the ones you like, skip the ones you don't:

We start with the most innocent of the bunch. For all anyone knows I could be just standing there with a white cord tucked between my buns. But, you all know I'd never cheat like that.

And just in case you doubt me......this shot should remove any doubt as to what's at the other end of that string. (And 'yes', I shaved for you guys. No way was I going to be this exposed and not be tidy!)

This shot was admittedly accidental, but I like the way it turned out. It takes something perverse and makes it kind of artsy. 

And lastly a bit of mugging for the camera. I thought that I should include a shot that had both the string and my face in it so that there could be no doubt that I actually did the dare and didn't just select images from the Internet and say it was me. LOL

So, Julie, I hope you are satisfied with how I went about honoring your dare. And I hope the rest of you enjoyed at least part of this little adventure. Tomorrow we will be celebrating Merry's birthday in a very unique way so be sure to drop by and wish her well!

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

First Dare

With Friday the 13th only days away, it was time to get my butt moving on Merry's dare. Today was the perfect day for it, and so I got my supplies together and got busy.

I found a spot in my yard where I would be able to get decent light without a lot of indecent exposure. (Just prior to "Naked Gardening Day" I did a little research as to the legality of being naked in one's own backyard and found, to my surprise, that the law is sort of weird on it. Technically it all comes down to visibility. If you can be naked without being seen by a neighbor, even from a window, bare that ass and rub on the sunscreen, but if anyone can see you, and doesn't like what they see, you can be reported and charged. AND, if a MINOR sees you? HOLY CRAP! So be prudent in your lack of prudery. It was the main reason I didn't go all out for Naked Gardening Day this year!) Fortunately I had just such a spot near one of my sheds and rear fence.

I set all all the things I'd need on a table within reach and unwrapped the towel I had around me so I could assemble Merry's "Birthday Sundae". There were some things I learned:

1: A half gallon of ice cream seems a lot colder atop a bare crotch than in one's mouth.

2: A half gallon of ice cream doesn't leave a lot of space for "candles".

3: French fries.....even ones I baked longer than usual for crispness....are not that easy to stick into cold ice cream.

4: Selfie sticks don't always work. (I missed some good shots and had to re-take them. Good thing I checked before cleaning up!)

Anyway, the good news is that I was successful in honoring the parameters of Merry's dare and I will post the requested shot on Friday, her birthday.....unless she comments that she wants it sooner! LOL

I also tried to take a shot of me wrapped in my towel holding up the supplies before getting down to business, but those were part of the ones that didn't come out. I also took shots of 'the aftermath'....prior to hosing off, and after.  (Amazing what effect a lapful of ice cream can have on the male anatomy when left there long enough to insert 57 French fries and take a round of selfies!) However, since these were not requested I won't post them unless Merry asks me to.


Other dare status: Ana has been very busy but recently managed to reply to a couple of the comments from Fondles and Julie. ( See last post, "Jackass July" ).  She has decided that we would go with the higher of Fondles' suggestions for the self-spanking and she will also instruct me on which implement I am to use for them. That video might take some time to complete, but it should definitely be up by the end of this month. And Ana is also going to be supplying me with the tampon for Julie's dare. That one, since it is relatively simple to execute, will be posted shortly after I receive the needed supplies.

Any other requests may still be submitted before the end of this month......even if someone wants to 'enter' more than once. Even if I or Ana decline a dare, doesn't mean we hold the suggestion against anyone, so don't be shy. And please don't let my unpleasant exchange with "Jean" spook you. I have very definite reasons for why I responded as I did, which anyone can verify with a scroll back to the post I cited. 

But if I sort of 'know' you from here or the 'blogosphere' and your suggestion is given in the spirit intended by this whole thing, by all means submit it. There's still more than half of July left!

{Edited to add: After receiving sissysnow's dare, I realized that it is very hard for people to know what I may have laying around and what I would have to go out and buy......which is not really practical for my budget right now. So, I thought of the things I have laying around that I don't think I have posted pictures of before and figured I'd give you all a list of possibilities (other than the stuff you come up with on your own). I own a homemade KTB "spiked tube", pouch panties from merely feminine to downright frilly, a maid's apron, enema gear, various plugs...including the dreaded 'squid', a urethral 'sound' insert, clips of various types (though as I said, pure pain dares are not what this is about), the piggy "stuff" mentioned in my reply to sissysnow, a spiked seating pad that results in 'butt dimples', a queening chair, a strap-on dildo, and there is something else but I need to talk to Ana before I post what it is. Anyway, maybe this list will prompt some "doable" non-costly dares? Use your imaginations! }

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Jackass July

I hope everyone had a great 4th. We certainly did. And it was a whirlwind going from wedding to fireworks with hardly a breath in-between. Before going into my update on "Jackass July" I just wanted to share this post-July 4th picture I found that I just find so adorable:

Young, patriotic, Lesbian love. So sweet!

Now, onto the status of the dares so far. As of the initial sacrifice of my personal pride for the month of July, I have gotten two from Fondles and one from Merry. I will now say that both of these dares WILL be done and eventually posted. (I also want to officially say to Fondles that from reading your blog I know you have a little bit of a Top streak in you .....despite being primarily submissive with BIKSS. So, since YOU asked for a bit of public self-spanking, and since I will be honoring that request, it would only make sense that you get the honor of deciding how many smacks that self-spanking should consist of. Just leave a comment with your recommendation.)

Also, I will admit being a bit surprised that no one seems to be interested in the two "squid-related" dares I volunteered. (To re-cap, one dare would be a fore and aft shot of me and Mr. Squid, showing him in place and the embarrassing effect of his presence on my 'front'. The second would be a 'before', 'during', and 'after' shot of my bottom prior to the squid going in, in, and how wearing him affects me back there.) I am still willing to do these revealing sequences as well......but ONLY if some reader comments to that effect. Otherwise, the offer expires at the end of July. And just to throw it out there as a teaser for what these dares would mean for yours truly, here is a shot of the 'squid' hanging out next to a standard beer can for an idea of just how challenging this red menace is:

Yep, that's what would be impaling my hinder for the general amusement of those interested.

Lastly, keep in mind that if you missed the initial post and want to get in on the fun, you have until the end of this month to submit your dare via a comment. (you can check the post, "Kinky Jackass" for the official information/rules for submitting dares.)

So, there it is. Hopefully, once I hear from Fondles, you will be seeing my requested video as soon as it can be arranged, and once we get closer to her birthday, you'll be seeing my photo for Merry.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018


Tomorrow is the 4th of July, and as promised, today I am going to finally post the main body of images from the photo shoot with Ana. Naturally the theme was geared towards this great holiday and features patriotic elements from various sources so that any appreciative viewer can salute our country and Ana's the same time:

Flag, feet, and a filter!

Same pose but without all the gimmicks.

Flag-waving with prehensile toes.

Toes with star quality.

A closer perspective.

I love this one!


Only thing missing is fireworks!

A slightly noir take on Captain America's shield.

Ana with her favorite hero.


Using his shield to fend off a toe-attack.......though I can't understand why he would want to!

Many thanks again to my lovely model, Ana, and wishes to you all for a wonderful holiday, with my main wish being for greater unity in a time when divisions seem more important than solidarity. 

Monday, July 2, 2018

Backyard Wedding

On Saturday, June 30th, Rosa and I formally got married and are now officially and legally "Husband & Wife", after considering ourselves as such for a long time already. 

We had a person perform the short secular ceremony in our garden on a day of hot but otherwise perfect weather and held a small reception for just our two sets of kids and their SO's.  Our table theme was "mix & match".......just like our relationship....set up on our enclosed porch where we also hooked up a portable air conditioner to combat the 90 degree weather. Every plate and glass was different yet matched to its setting, but each setting was a different color or theme.

The table for 10 from one end.......

.....and from the other.

Rosa's setting. Even the flatware was mixed.

The color theme tied in to all of the mismatched plates and was a repeated use of "multi-color & beige". Rosa made the runners herself. And I decorated the centerpieces with succulents in a beige tile pot I made and then added a beige candle with multicolored glass beads.

Several of our kids spoke and delivered toasts. The meal was a combination of mix & match appetizers followed by a main course split between Polish and Peruvian cuisines. After lunch we all changed into swimsuits and hit the pool. 

You always hope for a perfect wedding day but rarely get one where everything goes right.......but we did!