How many times have you seen a spanking cartoon like this?
Imagine for a moment, this same image without the captions. Any difference ?
If a caption adds nothing to the scene, it is ultimately unnecessary, and frankly.....makes the piece worse. And this type of cartoon accounts for about 99.9% of what's out there! How different is the sentiment in this next one from the one we've just seen?
Not a bad anime piece. It has its charm......but that caption? Really? Like none of us have ever heard THAT one before?
As I mentioned in the other sections, it becomes pretty obvious after a while that a lot of the images we are seeing are not really geared towards entertaining an audience, but rather towards indulging the cartoonist. The pieces are fantasies made visible for their own gratification, or explorations of scenarios otherwise unavailable to them.
Now I'm all for doing what one has to do. A lot of us have our coping mechanisms, but as I said before about not wishing to eat a meal prepared by a lousy cook, I also have no desire to be entertained by someone else's "therapy session". Just take a look at this one!
If someone told me that this was actually a page recovered from a serial killer's private journal, I'd have no problem believing them. You can almost sense the human hair clipping used as a bookmark between the pages.
But not everything trite can be written off as some sort of self-indulgent fantasy. Some cartoonists are very clearly TRYING to entertain. No better examples exist for this grand goal and equally grand failure than the "vintage" spanking comics from the past. Admittedly they are from a time where chauvinism was the watchword of the day and product advertisements depicted wives spanked over household mishaps. But while these notions are laughable in their myopic misogyny, unfortunately the comics themselves are not 'laughable' in the way they were intended to be. Here are a few "gems".
Wow! Now this is truly hysterical, right? (Anyone feel the urge to call 911? or vomit?)
Less disturbing......but equally unfunny.
Another rip-roaring knee-slapper!
And then we come to that especially hallowed land of the "spanked secretary" (and I don't mean Maggie Gyllenhaal). There are so many of these equally unfunny cliches that I'd need a book to document them all.
Or a trip to HR, the police, and a massive lawsuit.
You must have missed that class. Given how many of these cartoons there are, I'm sure it was part of the curriculum at one time.
So popular is the notion of the spanked secretary that even after the 50's and 60's ended, the images continued right up until today:
Much more modern and amazingly..... just as humorless.
Even KamiTora, (whose work I often like) couldn't resist putting his own spin on the secretary theme. At least it's a tiny bit refreshing to see the genders reversed.....but it's still nothing clever or funny.....and there's that massive, spurting dick again. He really loves THOSE doesn't he?! Another example of an add-on that doesn't have anything to do with the joke....but could possibly add a very 'special sauce' for the sandwich.
I suppose I could go on for days and pages with examples of cartoons or comics that fall painfully flat, but I think you all get the point. But rather than point out the clunkers, I will end this series with a bit of advice to those out there looking to entertain with their work. This advice is not geared towards anyone for whom their work is private and therapeutic but those truly wishing to amuse an audience.....and hopefully an audience who understands the world of spanking .
1: Unless there is a very good set-up, a spanking in and of itself is rarely a punchline. Way too many cartoonists treat it as such. And maybe to a vanilla audience it might work as one......but to a spanko audience the 'spanking' is a given. To make it amusing you need something else.....something clever. Spankos already know that a spanking hurts, that Tops are in charge, and that you can expect a spanking for misbehavior. These are not punchlines, they are givens. Givens aren't amusing.
2: If you have a clever idea, you don't need to have the illustration skills of Norman Rockwell to make an effective comic, but know your limits and develop a style that works for your skill set. A clever word bubble emanating from a circle head on a stick body is way better than some lame-ass "Ow, it hurts" remark over a beautifully rendered figure.
3: If your idea is NOT clever, adding motion, CGI, or any other fancy technique is not going to magically elevate the piece.
4: Less is often more. Margaret Mitchell wrote only one novel in her lifetime.....but that one was Gone With the Wind. When you run out of ideas, stop until you have another good one......unless of course you are being commissioned to make more, or as stated before, your work is your personal therapy.
5. Avoid too much unnecessary crap. You don't need extra fetishes, nudity that thwarts the point, or whatever other little tidbit you feel compelled to add that has nothing to do with the gag.
My best advice is to just think of your own experiences, mishaps, personal musings, uneasy truths, or whatever, and be honest with your audience. Share your 'truth' with a little scenario a fellow spanko can relate to, see themselves in, and chuckle or grin at.
In conclusion, I would like to end with a request for my readers: PLEASE! If you know of any really witty and clever spanking cartoons or comics that you personally love, share them with us! You can e-mail them to me and if I agree with your assessment, I will post the comic here .....and give you credit for discovering it.