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Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Choices

When I was a young Polish kid growing up in a suburban part of NJ heavily populated with my own ethnic compatriots, I often heard this joke:

Two Polish  bear hunters were stalking their prey along a wooded path when they come to a fork in the road and a sign that read:


So they went home.

Over the years that I have been doing "Collected Submissions" I have often heard that the spotty  participation I routinely whine about is because I too often diverge from the expected tales of butt-whomping and adult kinkiness that readers come to blogs like this to enjoy in favor of politics or social commentary. And I used to think that true but decided that "damn the torpedoes" I would write what I felt like and let the chips fall where they may. I came to the fork in the road and opted to explore BOTH paths, and maybe even a few more along the way.

Recently I have observed an interesting trend though. When I have bared my kinky soul (sometimes with pictures) with revelations of adventures past, I have gleaned fewer comments than when I post something political. And this trend flies flat and full in the face of the conventional "kinky blog" wisdom that the result should be the opposite.



Now, I'm not a staunch advocate of either position. Personally, I would like to keep this blog just as it has always been: a bit of this and a bit of that....all in a naughty adult, and hopefully clever enough guise to keep "thinking deviants" amused and intrigued. But I did think this seeming trend was worth noting.

Collected Submissions has certainly seen its share of controversy. Hell, my post about "playing for stakes" with my stepson drew criticisms I never expected and even resulted in someone leaving.  And as such I have become much more selective in revealing certain aspects of my personal adventures. I never thought I would succumb to censoring my own revelations that way, and yet I find that I have. I am not quite sure how I feel about that either....though part of me feels a bit like a sell-out. This is not to say that I have never withheld stories before. I have. And stories that were true, and had the potential to enlighten and titillate. But were also tales that would......reveal too much, even betray confidences. And that I will not do....or feel guilty over.

It's an interesting thing to host a blog. And I feel enriched by the experience. But WOW! It is a venture that is as surprising as it is sometimes gratifying. It is a challenge not only to glean new material and present it in a somewhat entertaining form........but the choosing? The decision of what warrants a post and what should be kept in a private journal? That's a challenge that never ends and is never predictable.

20 comments:

  1. I feel the saying "be careful of what you wish for" fits in with be careful of what you print. This is your blog and you can print what you darn well feel like printing. what you don't want to do is hurt others that you know by revealing too much.
    archedone

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    1. In any form of entertainment, an important guideline has always been "know your audience". Online that is often difficult. What is curious though is that the one area one would assume broad appeal on a kinky blog, would be kink.....and yet that hasn't been the case in the last month or so.

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    2. I think the trend results from the fact that kink isn't generic. Particularly for fetishes, they are almost defined by their particularity. What may be very appealing to some will be downright offensive or repelling to others. But, some "kinks" and fetishes seem to have wider appeal than others. Hence, spanking draws a fairly wide collection of readers and, while their motivations for engaging in spanking may be very different, the act itself and visuals depicting it is attractive to most of them. For example, I don't personally do erotic spanking, and I have no interest at all in participating in M/f spanking, erotic or otherwise. But, it doesn't mean I can't appreciate a Paula Meadows spanking drawing. But, while spanking is probably at one end of the kink spectrum in terms of popularity and lack of "revulsion factor" other things you have posted about are probably at the other end of that spectrum. Drinking pee probably not only appeals to a very, very narrow set of readers, it's likely to be stomach churning to many. And, as the post about your stepson showed, anything involving bringing immediate family members into a spanking or disciplinary scenario is probably going to silence a whole lot of people who might comment on lots of other topics.

      As for politics, I've found that it generates a ton of comments at first, but it's highly combustible and usually results in someone flouncing out. Though, given that it's usually the right-wingers doing the flouncing, I probably should post about politics more often. :-)

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    3. Also, the point about self-censoring because it might reveal a confidence is well taken. Honestly, the primary thing holding me back from "outing" myself more is not the possible impact on me but, rather, on my wife. She is in a career in which that stuff just does not fly, plus she just isn't nearly as much as an exhibitionist as I am. And, while I am getting increasingly comfortable with the prospect of our adult kids learning about our DD life [I love your cartoon with the couple finding deceased grandma's kinky toys], my wife just isn't there (yet). So, while I would probably set the confidentiality bar at a different level myself, I respect her desire for more privacy.

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    4. Dan: I think your points are again accurate and similar to my own take on things. For instance, I knew the pee posts would have limited appeal and even said so right in the posts themselves. Conversely, I didn't see the negative reaction to the "playing for stakes" post coming at all.

      With other stuff I have learned who will probably like something and who won't and usually be right. (Like I have learned that you will respond to almost anything that gets you thinking, but you aren't going to get excited over even what I think might be the sexiest toes and soles in the world! LOL)

      But I guess what has surprised me recently are the times, which now seem more frequent, where a post I think is definitely going to have the broader appeal you mentioned, just not having it. And then I'll post something almost as a lark, and more for my own gratification, and expect little reaction.....only to get more than expected.

      Not complaining....just observing how things often play out differently than expected.

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    5. Maybe if a woman's toes faced the other direction and were closer to her butt, you'd get me interested. :-)

      But, on your larger point, I agree that there is often a big gap between our expectations and what shows up in comments or responses. I used to think that most men who were into DD were actually intense Type-A's like me, and not "natural" submissives. But, the polls I used to do back when blogger had that functionality showed I was wrong about that. I've also learned that unlike you and me, many readers don't *want* to think or look inward. Posts that are inherently abstract or philosophical get far fewer responses than, "What's your favorite spanking tool?"

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    6. Dan: "Maybe if a woman's toes faced the other direction and were closer to her butt, you'd get me interested. :-)"

      You may have just invented a new fetish......and it's just a Photoshop away from realization! (you could even caption them. ;-) LOL)

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    7. Unfortunately, Photoshop is just one more example of a popular piece of technology that a 12 year-old probably can use but I cannot.

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  2. Ditto to anonymous, "coming out" can be a mistake that cannot be corrected, even in print. My wife is the reason for our strong marriage. My wife is my best friend first and foremost. Yes I'm spanked, punishment, that is between us. A few know, trusted friends, and they know why. I have worked hard on this blog to be careful what I say, not to offend anyone.

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    1. I'm assuming this is Jack? You left no name. Anyway, yeah, it's hard to take back what is revealed and so caution is always a good idea. The good thing about the internet though, is there is a layer of protection, but even then, one can't reveal everything, just like in life.

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    2. Yes it is, sorry, got in a hurry. Jack

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    3. Not a problem. Honest mistake.

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    1. You have been here from the start! Even if you hate the blog, like a TV show that used to be good but went downhill after too many seasons, you'd still watch to see what happens to the characters you invested time in. LOL

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  4. Hi KD as much as I would like to comment more my time is so limited working 7 days and 80 hours a week I am lucky when I can just read some. I find your view points very interesting and thoughtful. As I have disagreed with you politically in the past your recent posts I can mostly agree with. On the current post I agree with Dan for the most part except I love my wife's toes as you do. Keep up the great work and when I finally get my business in order will post more.

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    1. It's OK Joe, we all get busy. I have noticed your absence though. Nice to have you check in so we all know you're still alive and well!

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  5. I pretty much read almost all of the blog entries, however at times I just don't feel like responding, even if I find the subject matter interesting.

    Drinking urine has *zero* appeal to me, I don't really care for snakes (I'm much more of a dog lover), and I much prefer kissing womanly derrieres (basically my wife's bottom) over feminine toes. I am quite interested in American political issues though, I used to teach high school U.S. Government.

    The F/M spanking aspects of this blog are obviously its primary appeal to me, although I certainly don't object to viewing photos of naked women, especially ones focused on their bare bottoms.

    Now I also have *zero* interest in undergoing any hurting that doesn't involve my seat being smacked--my wife has gotten to accept her spanking me on occasion, and she even mildly enjoys doing so, but I wouldn't want to experience her reaction were I to ask for her urine to drink, or request that she put clothespins on my sexual organs.

    It's your blog so you control the direct content, clearly some subjects have more appeal to readers than others. My own degree of 'kinkiness' is rather moderate, although I'm not judgmental about practices which strike me as more extreme. "Different strokes," as the saying goes... --C.K.

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    1. Thank you for sharing all of that, CK. Some of it I knew and more I didn't....until now. It's helpful to find out where people are in all of this. I think I made assumptions on you and other readers based on my own inclinations that are surprisingly inaccurate.

      But maybe that's where "hmmm , not my thing" type comments are still helpful feedback. Comments are great sources of information for a host, and definitely don't need to just always be compliments.

      Thanks again!

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  6. often im unable to see the posts on the day they appear. today am i three behind? post here or post on the current post about this topic?

    the revulsion aspect is interesting as i have learned self censor also. the pee posts i came close to posting about ... and i stopped myself knowing so many others revulsion. With this topic however i will mention.

    in addition to the pee. we have sometimes moved to the other bodily function and i have had poop smeared on me, been pooped on, been pooped into my mouth and once we even baked it into a pie that was to be my xmas dinner

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    1. Post to the post you are responding to. I will get the notice it's there at some point and it just keeps things clearer.

      The revulsion thing is a mixed bag. On one hand....like I said..."know your audience", but on the other hand, I think it helps to hear what real people are actually doing even if it's not ones thing. Like your confession here on poo. I have had two experiences with this but both were accidental. I didn't like it in the moment but I also appreciated the reality of it afterwards in the one instance and didn't come away with ANY positive feeling about it in the other. That said, I don't mind hearing about someone else doing it. In that regard, I seem to be different from others in that I like hearing what people do even when it's not necessarily stuff I wish to do.

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