KDP: Prior to our current arrangement there was definitely an earlier time when Rosa and I revealed to you and Jean how we live. As someone who already had some interest in activities like these, & knowing us as you did, what was your reaction to learning we lived this way?
Nickki: "I was surprised, you see all of the advertisements of dd and never think your friends are part of it. My preconceived notions of dd do not fit you and your honey. There is no way in hell I could have guessed this was a way of life for you guys."
KDP:-You had once told me that you felt our relationship changed significantly NOT when you first spanked me yourself, but when you first were able to decree a “year-end” punishment. How did suddenly having that level of authority feel for you?
Nickki: "I had not expected to be asked to participate in a number for the whole year. When I said ‘50’ I thought that was a lot, then you informed me of my niece’s amount and then realized ‘this is serious, and he wants a number’. I felt closer to you because you included me in a family tradition. I still didn't quite understand it then."
KDP:-Now that you have the ability to deal with me yourself, how has that changed or contributed to those feelings? How would you contrast a situation where you knew something you said would get me seriously spanked by Rosa versus a situation where you were going to deal with me yourself?
Nickki: "Oh I'm loving being on my own. I only had the one experience of you mouthing off and that was Ana's college graduation. You were terrible and I was offended. I wanted you punished so I gave the number ( via slip), but in the end I gave the punishment myself. It's much more fulfilling taking care of business yourself. because we see each other every other month. I don't receive satisfaction from Rosa doing it. I need to see you flinch and squirm. That shows the respect and regret you have."
KDP:-How does an arrangement like ours compare with the kinky BDSM like you’d see in an online video?
Nickki: "Our arrangement has ‘zero kinky’, but I may have stepped into it thinking of dressing in black and wearing a face mask. So I guess I’m very open to being happy in my role by adding a bit of mystery. You have done things in conjunction with bdsm like asking permission to speak, kissing my foot, and serving me a drink. Your built-in strapping table and soap in mouth?….wow. I feel, now that I think about it, it has become more and more bdsm. Especially my thoughts of how to punish you and embarrass you while doing it. But I don't have any sexual inclinations while performing these tasks. You’re not a brunette with hazel eyes and luscious boobs."
KDP: Are the differences between a kinky submissive person scheduling a spanking session to get an experience they desire and a submissive person getting spanked, maybe unexpectedly, for a genuine misbehavior significant?
Nickki: "Hell yeah! The two are completely different: kinky vs. submissive."
KDP:-You have told me that others you have told out this have insisted that this type of thing had to be sexual. Many folks believe that even within the DD community. How would you explain how you are able to separate what we do from something more appropriate for a bedroom?
Nickki: "Yes, only one other person told me there is sexual gratification on your part. It's easy to separate. I have no sexual needs or desires for you. When I'm with you it is all business. My joy is being fulfilled by wiping that ass. I am a lesbian and have sowed all my oats and have no desire to be with anyone but my wife."
KDP:-We live in a society that tends to associate pain and inequality with something bad. As the dominant friend who is ‘in charge’ and expects to be obeyed, and who inflicts significant amounts of pain when called for, how do you resolve that seeming contradiction?
Nickki: "To inflict pain has always, and will always be, associated with something bad. To me, those that find satisfaction in spanking are looking for intimacy and reliving their childhood. To me these individuals feel close to the spanker because they're spending time with them, giving them that spank to correct their behavior, and to free the spanker of guilt."
Nickki: "I’m mocha and you’re white. We are friends. Our difference brings us together. It works and it has not been an issue or really a thought. I focus more on the fact that you really have a small butt."
KDP:-Besides race, we both have some other clear differences that traditionally would slant our roles in the opposite direction of what it is and the fact that they are reversed probably plays some small or large part in the appeal of our roles. I will lay out a few and let you respond to them as to whether they are a factor for you or not, and if so, how and to what degree:
Nickki: "I have always been aggressive, dominant, outspoken, fierce. I flip my wife in bed, so you're nothing to handle for me."
KDP:I am the male and you're female,........Nickki: "no contest"
KDP:I am older than you by a bit. Nickki: "I love being in the company of older people. I enjoy them and learn from them……..no contest."
KDP: I am physically taller and probably stronger. Nickki: "Please! no contest. I don't see that at all."
KDP: Am I leaving out a difference you would add? Nickki: "none of these things. I don't have any feelings for these issues. I am not bothered or feel any challenge. Actually I never thought of these differences. There is no challenge."
KDP:-What do you think was your biggest surprise when doing this? (Like something you didn't expect.)
Nickki: "I guess I was surprised when I understood what dd entailed and how comfortable I fit into not being bossy, but being aggressive towards my friend’s husband….now that’s a kicker. I still feel a bit uncomfortable with talking to Rosa about it, so I don’t. I say very little. Because there were times that I dished out a punishment and she was there watching me. It was uncomfortable. I would feel free to express my motherly self. I have known Rosa for 10 years prior to you meeting her and it is weird that I'm uncomfortable speaking to her about my sessions....... which I do with her approval. I even call and ask, but don’t go into details with her."
KDP:-In general, now that you have a good bit of practical experience, if you had to describe the advantages of such a lifestyle, what would you say the benefits are for both parties…….aside from the obvious ones of each getting an experience they want? And then specifically, in our particular arrangement, what do you think is the biggest benefit for yourself? and in your opinion what do you think is the biggest benefit for me? ….again aside from the obvious.
Nickki: "For anger management this is great to solve and resolve. This is great for those who have thick skins to handle this. It is great for the closeness of your partner. It is great for someone who loves being in control of all aspects of their life. As a Top, my benefit is that I dominate my friend’s husband. Who does that?! I’m in an arrangement that gives me respect and the upper hand. Who wouldn’t love this as a Top? I gain the fixes I need and I pay for them in paddling. Shit…..where can I go wrong? The benefit for you is continuing to enjoy your dd lifestyle with more people. You have gained two more individuals that have control to punish or pay you. It must be fun to walk on shells knowing you must try not to offend."
KDP:-Over the course of our many adventures, what was…….
Your favorite memory?
Nickki:….."looking at your (altered Halloween Lemax) village and saying to myself…’hey, that’s me right there spanking that boy!’ "
KDP: Your proudest moment?
Nickki:….."beating you raw because you now know what I’m capable of."
KDP: Your biggest regret?
Nickki:……."soap and the machine….. too much, not necessary."
KDP:-You and I have privately discussed the oddly unexpected feeling of comfort in our roles. (like when I tell you that despite the pain, I feel very ‘at home’ across your lap) Please tell our readers about your thoughts on our mutual admission of this feeling unexpectedly natural.
Nickki: "When you’re across my lap it’s very comforting. It feels like this is the better fit. It feels much more LOVING. Not so much intimate, because we aren’t, but JUST LOVING."
KDP:-Readers here know that when you spank me, you lecture and scold while striking. Tell us about that process and how it makes you feel.
Nickki: "As to the flavor, it reminds you of why we are doing this and informs you of the correct way to behave. I talk because it’s what I do. I like talking to scold better than payment."
KDP:-You have been both instrumental…..and successful…..in getting your wife, Jean, to be more active in all this. On the couple of occasions where you got to watch her spank me, what were your thoughts?
Nickki: "My wife will spank if she’s loosened up. She will pay you back for any work as long as I’m there. For her the payment/work paddling is what she will do for a job well done."
KDP:-With regards to “Jean as spanker”, I have told you some of my thoughts, please share some of your own. (it can be anything)
Nickki: "Jean as spanker" will wear you out but she is not motherly at all…….a strict disciplinarian."