No, not 'happy & healthy' ...........horny & helpless! That's how I feel today.
Readers here well know that being horny is not something I can just freely and easily deal with. But I do have options, and unfortunately those options are currently embedded in a dilemma of sorts. Here are the circumstances:
1: for one reason or another (though none being any problem with Rosa) it has simply been a fairly long time since my last 'O'. Like REALLY long. That's not an indication of any problem but just a simple fact. So me being horny right now is quite understandable. ( I would wager that very few of you are in anything close to a similar situation.) LOL
2: I currently have a post on hold explaining the spanking/disciplinary situation here over the last few weeks. I don't want to steal the thunder of the post itself, but please know it is NOT a post bemoaning a LACK of OTK-time. However, I am waiting for the completion of one last disciplinary spanking, now overdue, in order to publish the post. There have been several others.
3: Based on the prior sessions, this is not going to be an easy punishment installment and I would prefer to not have it follow an 'O'.....which would make it worse.
4: Rosa is working in the next room. I technically could ask for an O, but I don't want to because of the pending spanking. And I suppose I could ask for the last spanking, but since it is a real punishment, and it's her issue, the timing for it IS really up to her. And she has had circumstantial reasons for postponing it this long.....and by 'long' I mean probably a week.
5: As per #4, I could just ask for a tease, which would be something ......and that is something she'd probably consent to in a heartbeat. But a TEASE? Really? The way I'm feeling now? I'm genuinely afraid I'd have an accident......and that would be the worst outcome.
Obviously my dilemma is clear and fairly unfixable. The ideal resolution would be for the weekend to provide an opportunity for the last spanking, and then I could ask later for an 'O'. I HOPE that is what happens and I might drop hints to encourage such a resolution, but I can't control the wild card factors.
As such, I am currently dealing with the reality of being a chaste male sub in a DD relationship. Those who question how such a lifestyle plays out in real life can ponder this situation of mine and maybe get an idea of what a 24/7 agreement means at times. Sure, sometimes it's sexy as hell, and other times it's just flat-out frustrating.
I'm not complaining. This is just the life I've chosen and every choice has its consequences. And Rosa fully believes that her control over these twin areas of behavioral accountability and orgasm regulation are to my benefit, even as she knows that adhering to these conditions isn't always easy for me. (She has told me so.) And she's probably not wrong. She rarely is.
So here I am, just like I said at the start of this post: horny and helpless. But hey, maybe it "character-building"? LOL
(edited to include something that really happened just as I was finishing this: Ana my Monster texted me just as I was writing to ask about my day, and since she IS my Monster, I jokingly told her an abridged version about what I was writing and what my 'situation' was. To be clear, she is well aware of this additional aspect of her mother's control and has frequently endorsed it as something good for me, so I was hardly surprised by her response? All in caps: "SO STOP BEING YOU AND JUST SUCK IT UP AND GET IT DONE AND BE IN A LOT OF FRUSTRATION." I laughed and we soon said our 'see you later's and I told her to enjoy her day...and she playfully concluded: "you too"......"or try to"........"not really". LOL What a devil!)