(ROSA, cont'd) While behavioral obedience can be complicated by circumstances, emotions, and even psychological baggage from the past, one area of obedience for me is much simpler......though not always easy: sexuality. I've already written about part of this in depth so I won't go into it all again, but within the context of Rosa as "Boss", the one area where there are NEVER any gray areas or points of contention is her complete and total authority over all of our relationship's sexuality. Not merely my orgasms, but nearly anything sexual. She can demand an O and get it without argument, she can tell me to wear something special to enhance a mood, and she can grant or deny me access to my own body as she deems fit. And for whatever reason, even when I would prefer something different, she gets her way. I can suggest, ask, seduce,......whatever......for her these are merely opportunities to act on or decline.
One last area of expected obedience is simple doting! One perk of being the dominant partner is that not only do you get to call the shots, but you kind of have a built-in servant in your sub. Rosa gets pedicures on demand along with coffee, tea, or whatever else she needs from me. It's not totally fair that she might help if I ask her, and often does, but that she expects me to obey these directions from her whenever she issues them. And to be completely honest? I'm more than fine with that!
So in more ways than one, she certainly is the person in my life who expects and receives the broadest aspects of my obedience.
ANA: Those familiar with this blog probably feel they know my Monster pretty well by now. She is by far the next person after her mother who gleans a pretty broad chunk of my obedience. This too I have written about before, but considering her age and relation to me, the genuine amount of influence she wields is astounding.
The impressive aspect of Ana's authority is the polite and even charming way she exerts her will. One would think that a young person with her power would be tempted to abuse it, and yet she never has! This is not to say she isn't often mischievous, but even these times are more of a mutual play-bonding between us than purely selfish whims. And anyone here also knows that Ana has no reluctance to make her feelings known about my behavior or anything I do to hurt her feelings, and also no reluctance to impose fairly severe punishments via "Discipline Slips" that are then acted upon by Rosa.
As someone who grew up in our open DD household and who was apportioned varying degrees of her own authority from a fairly early age, Ana is fully aware of what 'discipline' means. She also talks to me openly about this lifestyle and reads this blog (when she has the time). When Ana is upset with me and writes out a 'slip', usually after we discuss and resolve the issue, and assigns a punishment spanking of hundreds or sometimes 1000 spanks, she isn't doing so naively. She knows EXACTLY what that means for me. She knows her mother will take any slip she issues seriously and spank me hard. If the number is very high, Ana knows this will mean a series of spankings, with each one becoming harder to take. And she wants me to experience that third spanking on a sore bottom because THAT is what she feels is appropriate and knows is utterly devoid of any enjoyment.
Like her mother, she rarely extends her overall role into areas outside of my actual behavior. In other words she doesn't try to just generally order me around. The only other thing she is entitled to, is to "ask" for "treats" and the occasional doting as well. We both find this funny, because the treats are invariably little things like a special brand of snack chip, or some book she finds on one of our treks to Barnes & Noble and she asks for them in a solicitously polite way, while we both know her request is not going to be refused. ( A typical expression of this is a text I might get if she's going to be home about whether I'm going food shopping anytime soon, and if so would I please get her some _____? While this sounds downright simple and normal, her text is understood by us both to be more like: "make sure I have some _________ when I get back home." ) Recently she told me that she always liked this side of her authority (what kid wouldn't?) but felt very timid about using it.....initially. One of the things she likes about where we are now is the way she feels she grew into her ability to ask for things from me with far less trepidation. Even still, while she knows her little requests are really more like expectations, she never asks for anything extreme.
During one of our talks we discussed the day-to-day reality of our relationship and she, again just like her mother, sees nothing extraordinary about our situation. Instead she feels everything is just as it should be for who we all are, and that means that despite me having several decades on her, and despite our love for each other, that within the parameters of the areas described, Ana does expect my obedience as a given and sees no reason that our relative ages should be any kind of conflicting or mitigating factor. In her mind, she knows she is more than qualified to monitor my behavior, and while she may respect my age, experience, and knowledge in other regards, in this area, who she is as a person outweighs all of that, and she has a hefty discipline slip at the ready if my obedience falters.
NICKKI: Readers here also 'know' Nickki by now! Our growing tally of adventures has been well documented here in words and pictures. Like Ana, Nickki's authority is derived from an arrangement with Rosa and me, and made possible only through Rosa's consent. None of us would have it any other way. But within that overall condition comes a lot of latitude. And with Nickki this also means a direct 'hands-on' approach!
Nickki needs only to have cause to contact me or Rosa and then secure Rosa's consent to have me report to her for discipline. This too took time. Nickki and I are friends first, and friends who care about each other tend to tread lightly with things that could become volatile. Punishing a friend for some transgression can be tricky, and it took a while for Nickki to wrap her head around it all. I too had to make some adjustments in how we interacted. As a result, we are simultaneously the same as we once were when we became friends, and different. And that difference could ultimately be reduced to the recurring theme here of obedience albeit select, specified obedience.
The trick with us is navigating the weird waltz of buddies on somewhat equal terms, and two people committed to two very different, yet solid roles: she being a dominant, and me being submissive. For me it means, being me, but doing so....cautiously. There are no usual honorifics in play (except at those specific times when I am about to be punished) and there are no expectations of service, deference, or anything other than just doing our things together. The difference for her is that there is an underlying understanding that IF something goes awry, she has tangible recourse.
It is within that recourse or within any time....even for 'fun'....that I find myself with a bare bottom facing her paddle, that I see myself being almost desperately obedient. Nickki likes to totally control a spanking, even for fun/payment/etc. and I admire that. And she does so with unwavering confidence and an expectation that even if I might not be obliged to obey her every whim at other times, in this situation, SHE is not to be trifled with. She will ask questions, and expect answers, she will want me to use certain terms, or present myself a certain way. If I am not in a position she likes, she barks a command of where she wants me.....and if I hesitate even the slightest, her hand is quick and merciless with the paddle.
So when I think of obedience with respect to my 'bosses', I see Rosa's authority as the most pervasive and Ana's close behind, but while Nickki's field of authority is a bit more limited, within that narrow scope, it is intense! Simply put, NO ONE can make me scramble to frantically appease than Nickki! She snaps and I obey!
MARTA: Marta is in a tough spot. On one hand, she seems more than willing to enjoy my deference, and even has shown an inclination to discipline if necessary. However, her husband, Wally, while tolerant of her role with us, doesn't really seem comfortable with it extending too far. As a result, Marta has kind of settled on a middle ground of sorts. She saves up her dominant energy for when she can be the "Village Disciplinarian" at our annual RenFaire, and concedes any other times to the competencies of her good buddy, Rosa.
But Marta also sees my relationship with Rosa in contrasting couplets: she was a bit shocked by it, but then found it to be a great arrangement. She has reacted to my punishments with both an awed sense of "wow! She really gave it to you" and also a "but you got what was coming to you" kind of approval. And the one thing she definitely shares with Rosa, Ana, and Nickki, is the belief (which she has clearly expressed to me in the past) that I am right where I should be with regard to roles, accountability, and ......yes.....spankings that aren't 'fun' but real bun-burners meant to teach a lesson. And as someone included in the circle of 'ladies with authority, she too feels quite qualified and deserving of the honor.
Marta really likes to tease me about my situation, and will use her given authority to make certain demands on me in a playfully bossy way. Perhaps because she is the least able to act on her authority directly, she seems more prone to messing with me verbally. She is definitely the most publicly (though playfully) bossy of the four. And there is no question that she gets a kick out of telling me something with a kind of emphatic "you heard me, right?" reminder that she has no problem with having Rosa deal with me if I don't obey her to her liking.
SYNOPSIS of my BOSSES:
ROSA: Main Boss to whom all other bosses defer. My "Honey" who clearly wields the most influence over me and the person I try to obey most. Her authority encompasses behavior, my sexual outlets, and her own perk of being pampered on demand.
Natural dominant, reasonable 'boss', but capable of being strict and stern when needed. Spanks hard when she wants to, but can be playful as well.
My future wish/goal is something she and I just recently discussed which is a re-energizing of our arrangement with a bit of 'ramping up' my obedience and her punishments.....starting with one we discussed is long overdue.
ANA: Unquestioned "Second-in-Line". While she still needs her mother's approval for stuff with me, at this point it is practically a formality, since she is never overruled. Also someone whom I find myself obeying in a lot of ways.
Another natural dominant, but one for whom the more extreme expressions of this lifestyle are not a driving desire in her own life. Doesn't spank, but decrees them via a "Discipline Slip". Her punishments are known for their very high numbers, but she too can be very playful as well.
My future wish/goal with Ana is perhaps an exploration of how her "polite" requests can even further evolve into more direct commands.
NICKKI: A little more limited in her range of authority but very confident and intense within the areas she knows are hers.
Yet another natural dominant, but one who needed some experience in order to see the difference between BDSM sensation play and DD, but who now totally "gets it" and loves the power. A fireball of a spanker, blending scolds and spanks with an attitude that sends me scrambling to obey her every whim and yet still sends me home with a blazing butt!
My future wish/goal for Nickki is unfortunately something that isn't possible under our current agreed-upon conditions for our arrangement. I just found that the couple of times Nickki had me naked added a layer of embarrassment that was quite profound. Being a Lesbian, it wasn't a sexual thing, and that even added to my embarrassment because what was on display was doubly discounted: partly for being a male part, and second for not even being a great specimen of a male part .....which she would tease me about. So to be naked with someone who is not interested in what is being exposed, and even finds it something to be joked about, is very blush-inducing to someone who doesn't easily blush. But given how things are with us, I can easily live without this added twist. It's not a driving desire....just a potentially impactful add-on.
MARTA: An interesting paradox. Marta acts the least and yet, given her regard among us, has the potential to exert quite a bit of influence and authority. And since she kind of knows this, verbally messes with me routinely more than anyone else. Her raised eyebrow orders to me in front of everyone are her signature forms of dominant expression.
Still yet another natural dominant, but one for whom circumstance has limited her growth. She would almost certainly dominate her husband if he was into it, and she would definitely take a more active hand with me if he was more open to it. Her dominance is expressed mostly verbally, although she has, and could still, tell Rosa to punish me for whatever I do that upsets her. She seems to enjoy these kinds of threats more than acting upon them.....or is using them because she feels she CAN'T act on them personally.
My future wish/goal couldn't be simpler: I wish she'd feel more comfortable telling Rosa to spank me for something, or hell......just doing it herself right then and there with the special wooden spoon I made her that she proudly keeps on display in her kitchen. I don't see this happening though due to the restrictive environment she's in.