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Thursday, May 24, 2018

Ass & Glass

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

If each and every time you see one of these:


the ONLY thing you can ever manage to think of is this:


there's a very good chance you've graduated from mere 'spanko' to one of these:


SO REMEMBER: NO ONE LIKES A ONE-NOTE SONG
(unless they're a huge fan of Philip Glass)




Who says......

........that the two parties can't work together? All you need is something they can both agree on. Like DACA? They say they both agree on that? Well, no, not DACA......unless some partisan pork-crap is attached to it. Budget deficits? No, not that either. It depends on who's 'deficiting' right?  No, you need something that wealthy political fucks can PROFIT from no matter what animal logo adorns their boxers.

 Oh, how about repealing key elements of Dodd-Frank? (more on Dodd-Frank)

You mean the set of regulations that came about in response to the housing market crash? The crash that resulted from greedy, irresponsible lending practices? The one that's supposed to prevent something like that from happening again? Yep, that one. 


Dodd-Frank 2010-2018

So there you go. Proof that the two parties are looking out for YOU. And all I can say to this corrupt, morally-bankrupt, 2-Party "Duopoly" is:



Sunday, May 20, 2018

Lady's what?

About a week ago Rosa and I (along with Ana and Rosa's brother) were hiking through a few trails in NJ's Cheesequake State Park and I managed to espy something I had not seen in a long time:


I was pretty sure what I stumbled upon was a Pink Lady's Slipper orchid.....even though (as you can see) it had not yet bloomed. So the other day I went back on my own (in the light rain) to see if it had opened and lo and behold:


The last time I saw one of these was on a camping trip in Pennsylvania. At the time I didn't know WHAT this strange thing was, but to me it looked more like this:



........than THIS:

And as a result, I used to call it a "pussy plant" for the longest time. 

It is kind of neat though that these are technically "orchids". (For more on them click here.) 

They are not actually endangered, but they are rare enough to be of some concern so if you do see one and are tempted to dig it up......DON'T! They have less than a 5% chance of surviving being transplanted. Instead......just enjoy them in the wild.....IF you can manage to find one!


Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Catching up

It's been a while since I posted (at least by my past standards) and there are so many things that have transpired that I will again just post some quick 'bullets'.

The main thing is we had a house guest for about a week: Rosa's brother from Peru. He's a great guy and we had a lot of fun taking him around the area and NYC for a chunky bite of American culture.

Ana is done with school and is now home for the Summer!

Mother's Day was very nice. 

Nickki recently sent me a text to say that a piece of furniture that the prior owner of their new home left behind is ours for the taking. I'll probably be going over there to help them out with a few things and grab the thing. (I have been thinking a bit about a spanking session with Nickki since it has come up a few times and her partner may be softening on the issue. I saw the following picture recently and despite the gender switch, the age and race comparison made me my mind wander.)

I  love Clare Fonda's age reversal spanking photos. She's done several.


Yesterday Rosa took a day off and we went bicycling around Sandy Hook State Park and she got some amazing photos. I even FINALLY got to see a Scarlet Tanager in the wild. We had a great day despite me starting it off by doing an embarrassing, slow-motion, fall off of my bike by awkwardly losing my balance while standing still at a crosswalk. Only a small scrape, but the fall hurt my back and I am kind of stiff today.

Rosa texted me earlier to tell me she wants to give me the treat or treats of my choice later and I am pondering what I might ask for.

Politics continues to irk me and I have been avoiding reading too much. It all just upsets me unnecessarily.

Today I'm going to do some yard projects. The garden is progressing nicely despite some mishaps here and there.


Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Be best?

As many of you know, I LOVE irony. I would PAY for irony, and yet? With each day's breaking news I get all I need (or could handle) for free!

Take Melania Trump's "new" (or maybe 'recycled' is a more accurate way to put it?) anti-bullying campaign "Be Best". "Be Best?" WTF? I understand that Melania is not from the U.S. and had she merely said this in a speech, I would easily overlook it. But as a national campaign?......for CHILDREN no less? Was there no one to advise her that a word was missing in order for this slogan to be grammatically correct? How apropos of the current administration though? Who needs grammar, intellect, honor, or anything.......as long as you have money?

"Hello, I'm Melania. I am third wife to man who routinely disposes of spouses as they age, but know that would never happen to me."

So what's the message to kids here? Be best........but ignore grammar because you can 'be best'  without it? ( Well just look at Donald. I'm sure he thinks he's the best...since he tells people all of the time......even though he couldn't put two coherent words together besides "you're fired" if his life depended upon it.) 

Now besides the grammar, you also have the irony of a woman married to the biggest cyber-bully of all time, telling kids to 'be best' by not being cyber-bullies themselves.  How can you not love this? What's next? An ad campaign with Ron Jeremy telling kids to not look at porn?

And speaking of porn.......WTF #2: what is up with this recent spate of articles sympathizing  with 'poor Melania' who has been cheated on by her husband? Really? Maybe if she was wife #1 I could maybe muster some sympathy, but you are a model from Slovenia who married an arrogant billionaire after two previously failed marriages. Are you going to tell me that she didn't have any idea what she was signing up for? She knew. She knew what Donald was and what he could get for her and went with it. Everything has its price tag. She's paying hers now.......and it's a pretty small one. So please,  DO NOT ask me to have sympathy for this brainless, walking clothes hanger.

And don't report these things to me and expect me not to laugh.......they're just too priceless. They are best. I like.


Friday, May 4, 2018

Shaving cream..........

.......be nice and clean. Shave every day and you'll always look keen. -------Benny Bell

Summer is almost upon us and unless you keep yourself perpetually hairless 'down there' like I do, it's time to consider trimming the bushes........or defoliating the forest completely.




Here are a few cute images to get you in the mood:


you can sit and spread 'em........

...stand and hope for the best........

......or attempt a compromise of the two!

Need help?

Ask a friend!

Better to be caught like THIS.....


....than like THIS!

So, 'here's to shaving cream! May it long lather our nethers!'
Cheers!


Thursday, May 3, 2018

Interruptions and DD

Have you ever known someone who seems to get cut-off speaking more than others? I do. I'm even guilty of being one of the interrupters. It's my Honey, Rosa. 

Now I've wondered about this, discussed it, even researched it and found out that a lot of factors go into making a particular person more susceptible to being cut off. And in looking at them I have to admit, Rosa is a 'perfect storm' of many of them: she is not from this area, English is not her first language, her speaking style includes longer pauses than a NJ person is used to, and in a group she is usually the most timid and speaks less frequently than most everyone else.

I have brought this up to my family and they are just like me. They realize it happens....a lot.....and also admit to being guilty of doing it. And yet everyone loves Rosa. No one thinks she's stupid, or boring, or has nothing to offer. And yet during a heated conversation she gets lost in a wordfest she has no chance of winning.

Recently this trend has bothered her more than usual and we discussed it many times. But even understanding WHY it happens doesn't do much in the moment to prevent it FROM happening. Enter good old DD.

We are now in agreement that if I should be guilty of not letting her finish speaking, she can address it in one of three ways, depending on who is there when the interruption occurs.

1: If it's anyone in the immediate household, or on some level that permits immediate action, that is what may well happen. I could be taken by the hand right to our room and spend the next few minutes learning not to interrupt over Rosa's lap.

2: If it occurs with people around who know about our lifestyle (in our case, that's a majority of our circle) but who  may not be comfortable having me hauled off right then and there for a spanking, Rosa will just warn me and threaten a punishment in front of them. And of course, if it continues, state that one will happen later for all to hear.

3: If we are among 'regular people', Rosa will find a way to issue the same threat or warning more discreetly.

Whichever it is, the end result will likely be a good spanking. I have also told Rosa that the determination of who qualifies for each level of 'comfort' is strictly up to her. If she decides she is comfortable enough to say something in front of someone I wouldn't expect......too bad for me. The same if she decides to take me to the room. If she feels someone wouldn't mind a small 'learning break' right then and there? Again: her call.

Interestingly enough, this came about in a sort of introductory way this past weekend when we were dining with Nickki and Jean (and another friend) and I kept interrupting Rosa in front of Nickki. Rosa had enough after a bit, and being very comfortable about our lifestyle with Nickki especially, issued a warning just like I described. The only difference was that it was just a threat without an actual punishment afterwards. Now, it seems, the punishment will be more probable should this happen again.

I'm not sure how I will feel if and when this 'rule' manifests itself in reality. But I fully agree to it in theory. Now time will determine the efficacy of such a policy.

A novel way of learning to let Rosa finish what she's saying.