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Friday, April 16, 2021


A short while back, I wrote something about "ball-slapping" on Fondles' blog and we both mused over the possibility of me devoting an entire post to the practice here. Well? This IS that post.

Oddly enough, if you look for ball slapping in a search, you'll find a split between the actual hand slapping of testicles (which is what this post is about) and images of balls rocking and rhythmically slapping against a bent over person getting fucked from behind! I'm no prude, (obviously, given what we cover here) but something about the latter seems like one of the most vulgar things out there. Rest assured, dear readers, we will NOT be venturing into sweaty-gross, frenetic, doggy-style penetration. We will leave that unseemly activity for those vanillas who get so hung up over kink, but regularly engage in things way more icky. Instead we will discuss  the much more sanitary (if one's scrotum is properly showered) act of swatting balls.

Not quite how WE do it, but you get the idea.

Despite coming into this relationship with more kinky experience than Rosa, there certainly have been things she has introduced me to that I simply had not done before, and ball-slapping is definitely one of them. One day, she just got a mischievous look on her cute face, and began to get pretty rough with my 'package'. At one point, after some biting and twisting, she actually struck me with her hand.......not too hard, but hard enough to qualify as a slap rather than a pat. I jerked back from the pain, but she just waited a bit for me to recover and then did it a few more times.

This was definitely something new to me and not anything I ever considered suggesting. But.....given her reaction to it, I became quite accepting of this playful mistreatment. Over time it evolved into an occasional, mood-driven little extra. We didn't do it often, but if the atmosphere was right, I'd find myself kneeling alongside her on our bed within her arm's easy range. 

The routine seems to focus more on control and expectation rather than the actual pain. The pain acts as more of the source of conflict between reluctance and obedience and submission. As such, I have NEVER been slapped there just once. Instead, Rosa apparently gets off on the expectation that after I've already been hit, and have just recoiled accordingly, that once somewhat recovered, one look (no words) will summon me back into position. 

A lot of the online imagery for this kink incorporates bondage. I totally see the connection, but for us that element totally defeats the main appeal of the 'game'. For Rosa especially, this is about me willingly submitting myself to her rough treatment......repeatedly..........usually between three and five times on average. This GIF also is more about penis-whipping than smacks to that tied-up scrotum.

Rosa's smile betrays her kick, because it is proportional to the wincing hesitation on my face as I offer myself again while knowing what's coming. She will even cock her hand and wait and watch me for a few solid seconds before striking. Sometimes she will target my entire 'package' and other times she will lift my penis away and strike only my scrotum.

Why women find this so funny, I can't say. But they do. Watch the guy's pre-strike reactions. That is SO what happens with me! 

As is Rosa's style with everything, she is neither brutal nor gentle. For me this is crucial. A hard blow to the testicles will double a guy over and render him incapacitated. The pain is extreme and makes you feel nauseous. But a milder slap will be unpleasant and even more psychological. We instinctively cringe and cower to protect that sensitive area, so exposing it to harm.....even moderate counterintuitive. Still, a too gentle slap  provides no real fear factor, so some pain is kind of essential for this "game" to work. (not unlike submitting to a spanking).

I think doing this in a tub is dangerous. The reaction could easily cause a hazardous slip. But the shot at least shows another take on the practice.

Despite never having sought out this activity prior to Rosa, now that it is a possibility, I have found that even I will "suggest" it. Again, this game is never played with words. For some reason it is part of the whole theme for the situation to be communicated entirely through expression and body language. So, sometimes, especially if I'm feeling very subby, and have likely spent some lengthy quality time with Rosa's adorable tootsies, I will sometimes move away from her feet and kneel up next to her, and just give her 'the look'.  Invariably she will grin and oblige........but once the game has begun, SHE decides how many slaps I'm going to get. 

Not Rosa this time, but this lass is presenting a very familiar view for me. I can't explain it, but I am sometimes amazed at how many different ordeals I've endured because of cute feet! It's like blaming risky behavior on drinking. I suppose you could say that the right feet intoxicate me as effectively as any well-constructed cocktail served in abundance. LOL

In conclusion, we once again find ourselves confronting one of these seemingly undesirable activities presented AS desirable. The specifics of this contradiction phenomenon vary from one submissive person to another, but taken in general, how many things do we find ourselves now enjoying that objectively speaking should not be enjoyable? I never would have suggested being ball-slapped, and now? I kind of like it in a way. The smacks themselves are not pleasant, but that moment of submission......when I am willingly kneeling there looking into Rosa's grinning face as she holds my member to one side so she can have a clear shot at my tender testicles, is oddly wonderful. At least it's way better than having them rocked like a church censer in some animalistic humping extravaganza! 

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Roadkill clean-up

True story...............which for my heavily-populated suburban town in NJ is so exceptional, it is almost freakish! (Rural readers might very well shrug with a "so what? Happens here all the time.") So last week I am returning from Home Depot with my neighbor, Wally (Marta's husband from past stories here) with a plywood and sheetrock loaded trailer in tow. Wally had asked me if I'd help him out since he needed these items and I've done this with him before. To be extra safe, I diverted to a side street that is tree lined on both sides for a bit, before it opens back up to typical Central Jersey, house-lined suburbia.

We were just into the wooded stretch when a huge bird swoops down in front of my car and flies just about a yard above the pavement in the center of the road. Its white head and tail are dead giveaways as to what it is: an American Bald Eagle.....full-grown. I got very excited but curious as to why this guy would fly so low in harm's way of my still-moving car, but in seconds I got my answer. Just a bit ahead a dead squirrel nearly straddled the center dividing line, and Mr. Eagle dips ever so slightly and scoops him up. 

Imagine seeing this from behind while driving!

With woods on both sides, he had to continue straight up the road, slowly gaining altitude with each magnificent flap. So here we are driving mere yards behind this iconic raptor like a bizarre parade, for several seconds, until he gained enough height to veer off once out of the wooded area. It happened too fast to get a shot, but long enough to be more than a mere dive and dash. 

As a "bird person" (along with Rosa who is even more vigilant than me) this was a stunning event. I recall all too well growing up through the 60's and 70's just how rare birds of prey were in NJ. No one EVER saw an eagle, let alone an endangered Bald Eagle! DDT wasn't banned until 1972, and it was a leading cause in the depletion of these raptor populations causing eggshells so fragile that the birds cracked their own eggs just by keeping them warm. But now, with the pesticide gone, and laws to protect, and time......these guys are back in a big way.

I recall when the Army Corps of Engineers began constructing osprey stands around National and State parks. They too are easily seen now. Even my own suburban backyard sees its share of hawks, and yes.....Rosa swears she saw bald eagles very high up a year or so ago. Turkey vultures circle nearly everywhere now as well. Any drive up a mall-packed highway affords a view of these large scavengers scoping out roadkill.

NYC is now an established range for Peregrine Falcons who discovered over time that if they pretended skyscrapers were cliffs, the city provided an abundance of pigeon and rodent dinners to be easily had. I recall that in 1989 or so, I was in a loft in NYC for a business convention and the folks there were proudly bragging about their resident falcon, which we saw on their ledge. This was back when this first started happening. It was a rare but increasingly-familiar tale, until now when those falcons are everywhere.

A native New Yorker.

To me this says that no matter how badly we screw something up, if we stop and reverse course before it's truly too late, nature WILL rebound. We just need to give it a fighting chance.

And in conclusion, though it's not about birds, I would like to make a recommendation on a Netflix documentary currently causing a stir: "Seaspiracy". I would recommend watching it and keeping an open mind to the veracity of most claims and some skepticism over some of the more extreme ones. (What I did was watch it, and then read a few fact-check articles, just for balance, also keeping in mind WHO was writing the fact-checks and whether they were truly impartial. But hey, a viewer should do this with anything.)

Tuesday, April 13, 2021


In perusing the collection of old photos I recently shared, I also came across a batch of kinky Polaroids. Back in the day, Polaroids were still available in the 90s but falling out of favor......except with kinky people who did not want to take more extreme shots to the developer for processing. 

When I looked at these, I was amazed at how deeply red my butt used to turn......something that just doesn't happen now regardless of how intensely I've been paddled. The shots are not great, but they are nostalgic and indicative of what I used to 'get' even then. Here are a few choice examples:

This is how they looked. As you can see I used to make notes on when the paddling occurred and how many I got. My ex took all of these as post-paddling mementos, since there was no timer for Polaroids except for developing.

Most, if not all of these shots, were the result of a sort of "date night" routine we had wherein I would adopt the persona of "Pierre" (KDPierre?) and service my client (my ex) with a fancy dinner served in submissive attire. She would then choose her post-dinner treat from off a handmade Menu accompanying each meal. She also would select her payment and tip, which were different options of roasting "pierre's" butt. 

One night her treat was a soak in our new (we had just renovated) jacuzzi tub with me in attendance for her every need. To save time, I offered to let the night's "payment" occur while the two-person tub was filling. Neither she nor I had any idea as to how long this would take, so the 'game/dare/risk' portion of it was that she would paddle me ....with a brutal, two-handed paddle that struck both cheeks at once.....for as long as it took to fill. She mischievously agreed and landed solid whacks as I bent with my hands on the tub enclosure. 

It became apparent after a good hundred or so whacks, that this was going to take longer than either of us anticipated. However, she said that this miscalculation was all part of the game and I was clearly obliged to honor the deal. I remember thinking that seemed fair, and even funny, but when the smacks kept coming AND COMING, and that tub STILL wasn't full, I groaned in defeat. She snickered and kept going until the tub had been properly filled. I must have gotten hundreds of hard swats before this was over as no one was counting.

Sorry for the small size, but I noticed some of the images held up better when not enlarged. I cropped the rest of these, but they all looked much like the first one and all had dates, quantities, and sometimes little notes on the situation. This shot was after that LONG paddling with a two-handed sorority-style lucite paddle. What a roasting! You can see the sheen to the dry-spots that formed and even the irregularity to the butt surface, indicating the swollen, leathery result. The smacks even went well into the butt-crease , which I noted on the Polaroid were sore for days.

Another thing I learned that day was what it felt like to lower a well-beaten butt into a hot jacuzzi..... OUCH!

Here are a couple more from other events:

At this point in my life there aren't too many (or any) nice things I will say about my ex, but as evidenced by this shot (and the others), I can't honestly say she was ever wimpy about spanking me. Here you can see a few stray switch welts as well.  Here also you can see I am wearing my plug harness, and so, "yes" there was a plug up in me at the time as well. The profound color in these shots is the result of literally hundreds of hard paddle-smacks to a butt that had not yet toughened up to the point it is now. 

Remember that A&G White Lightning switch I told you about?  The one Rosa sometimes uses for special punishment? Used with force it is similar to a cane and leaves twin-track marks just like one. These weren't from Rosa but my ex back in the mid-90s and yes, I had a hard time sitting after this brief encounter......and this wasn't even a punishment, but a "play penalty" for a pedicure!

In some ways it is a shame that things went the way they did, because you can see we were obviously having fun there for a while. I always tell people that you don't marry someone you hate, or see nothing good in, but you do divorce someone like that...with the sad irony being it's obviously the same person. But had things not gone awry, I never would have had some of the later encounters I did, or ended up with Rosa who I am MUCH, MUCH more happy with. 

So much has happened that I can't even stand to be in the same room with my ex now. My hatred for her is profound.....and with reason. I say this only because while these shots have a certain nostalgia for me, it is more about my "personal D/s history" than any lingering fondness for my ex or regret over our divorce. These shots show some extreme post-spanking color and THAT is what is more nostalgic for me: that I went through all that. It is difficult to separate the good and the bad when looking through positive or negative filters.  But trust me, while I find these old shots to be reminiscent of a time, I don't want any reader misinterpreting that as some lingering warm/fuzzies for my ex. I'm just trying to call things as I see them.

The tub story objectively IS still funny to me even to this day. I can't deny it happened or that it was memorable, but with everything that has happened after, I would never wish to relive it now. Maybe other divorced people will understand what I mean.

Sunday, April 11, 2021

Past blast

 A while back I had done a piece on nudes in the snow.....with tan lines (February 26, 2021) and 'fessed up that the last image was indeed "yours truly" from several decades ago....back when I was somewhere in my 20s. As you might imagine, if THAT picture exists from those days, there likely would be more.....and there are.

Today I have a conflicting mindset (plus a lot of free time since Rosa is doing something out of the house that will take all day, and it's raining like a bugger here.) I feel simultaneously exhibitionistic AND old. LOL. So I thought that a perfect solution would be to sift through some old photos from the 80s and see if anything seemed post-worthy. I could then solve my current exhibitionist inclination, while not flashing my equally-current, not-quite-so youthful body.

Here are some I felt were relatively artsy or at the least.....not overly kinky:

This is some very early stuff from around  1982 or so.

As you can see, I was not shaving regularly 'down there' .....though I did do so intermittently even then. (Look at that crazy head of hair! LOL)

Artsy-fartsy session with my then fiance.

This bit of soft-core porn was from that same session. LOL

The reason for most of these was reference material for painting. I liked this shot and did in fact paint it....but at some paint gave the painting away.....I don't even recall to whom.

This shot was supposed to be used for a particular kind of print. I even paid to have it converted to the format needed. And then? It just never came to fruition and I no longer have access to the materials needed to complete the project. It's still a good shot though. But there's even MORE to this shot.

I recall that shot was taken on a Monday in 1984. Why do I remember that? Well, it's because the weekend PRIOR to that Monday was the one described in my story "Double Dare" (link). While the story is presented as fiction, it is nearly entirely factual and describes a dare that led to quite a memorable double-double spanking. It was the first time I got a spanking from two different people during the same session. In the story I describe a bruise from the last ten swats my dared friend gave me in response to my girlfriend's urging to hit harder. The next day we all went fishing near my house and during that time, I espied the crazy vine cluster and thought it would make for a great photo. 

This it that historic.....but barely visible " you-kind-of-have-to-know-it's-there-to-see-it" bruise.

So while some artsy shots are not so innocent, not all of these shots were were even artistically innocent to begin with. This little outdoor flash is from a few years later, probably closer to 1987 and was taken a two-couple camping trip. My ex and I snuck off for a bit to have some 'fun'  and if my pose seems suggestive of someone waiting for a whuppin' , you'd be correct. Mere seconds after this shot, that pale posterior was sporting a series of burning switch-welts. (sorry, no picture of that though I'm not sure why. It may have been that we heard people coming.)

This shot is even later.....probably 1989, and shows  how my body shaving became more routine.

Yes, that's a mullet. Be nice. 

The End.

Friday, April 9, 2021


 Did you ever wake up and wonder:

"What shall I do with my banana today?"

Well, if 'Collected Submissions' is good for anything (which is a damned good question that I would hope doesn't prompt too many sarcastic recommendations LOL) it's to offer ideas.....possibilities...... and things, well.....things you might not have considered before. But let's start simply. Naturally the first inclination (I would hope) is to eat it.

Is there a more suggestive  fruit besides the banana?

But while eating is natural, and healthy, how much banana can you take before it's just the same old thing?  Can't you just picture her thinking: "geez, how many times do I find myself in THIS situation?"

But the banana is anything if not versatile. Its shape is evocative of so many things.

Who can forget the classic "banana phone"?

The thing is though, what person not old enough to remember Ernie & Bert, would even know that phones once did resemble bananas?

They do still resemble guns though, and the "banana gun" is still pulled on the unsuspecting to this day.

And some people take that "banana gun" idea to very creative conclusions!

But phones and guns are not the only things bananas tend to remind people of. There is another choice that has been around for a long time.

Is that a banana in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?

Bananas simply DO look like penises. Though sometimes a little creative enhancement really drives the point home.

Eat's good for you!

The connection to penises is almost too obvious, but some guys take that to an extreme......

.......resulting in a style of penis colloquially referred to as a "banana cock". (I'm not sure if this is as equally good to eat as the previous image, but you ladies can give it a try and report back.)

The banana shape does not just apply to men though. Certain ladies can be endowed with "banana breasts (or boobs)".

If you like slender, upturned breasts, just do a search! You'll find all sorts of "banana-boob" variations.

But today's post was not supposed to be so much about having or not having attributes resembling bananas, but what to do with your fruity variety. And since we were just talking about breasts, why not consider slipping your banana there?

This looks like a fun way to encourage more fresh fruit consumption.

The problem with sticking a banana between two jiggly jubblies is that you still need your hands to kind of keep it there. Surely there must be other places to keep your banana that are a bit more hands-free? 

Look Ma, no hands!

As with most things, some people are just insatiable. One banana just isn't enough? Well, they DO come in bunches. (I can just hear Harry Belafonte singing for the tally-man to tally the bananas. "Daylight come and me wanna go home.")

There does seem to be a difference in opinion on whether a banana should be unpeeled or peeled for insertion. What do you say?

Hmmmm, here's a combined treat.

Those who voted for peeled and are looking for something to do with the skin, you need only reference a zillion movie and cartoon pratfalls.

And if you thought the 'genital option' would exclude guys, guess again.

No one to "dock" with? Bananas are more reliable than elusive partners.

Unfortunately, "banana-docking" again necessitates a hands-on approach. Surely there must be a hands-free place to put a banana for guys AND gals?

Here's a spot that seems accommodating enough. Shall we try it?

Wow! Like it was meant to be! 

And this spot works just as well outdoors as at home. Nature's own unisex banana holder.
Now THAT really makes me want to have a banana! Only trouble is that darned peel.

Ah! Problem solved! And this kind young lady is even willing to serve it up on a plate. How considerate.

Though some prefer to skip the formality of dinnerware and just get right to it.

So when it comes to snug spots to stick a banana, we now know there are options......especially for ladies. But what about indecisive ladies? 

Well there's an easy solution. Just a bit of both. 

My this has certainly gotten kinky. Who would have thought bananas were so pervertible? 

Well foot fetishists for sure. Trampling fruit or other food is even a "thing" unto itself. (Don't believe me? Search. You'd be surprised.....or maybe you wouldn't. LOL)

You might be thinking "yuck", but I'd be on those toes quicker than a fruit fly! 

So, let's see. We've talked about, standard consumption, enhanced consumption, insertion, squishing, pretending they're guns, phones, breasts, and penises......surely we're done? Right? No. Bananas have a few more options:

You can mash 'em on your face,

......or use the skins for facials and teeth cleaning........I even saw something about using them for dry, cracked heels!

So, share that versatile and naughty banana with a friend!

And NOW we're done! THE END.