After writing my post on “ergonomic atheism” where I concluded that I may just need to content myself with a bucket of “End Times Popcorn” as I sit in a ringside seat to the circus sure to unfold, it occurred to me that proposals like a national religion were just one of so many topics deserving of such Nero-esque regard. As such I may just have to make End Times Theater a semi-regular feature at Collected Submissions, with regular showings of the unsolvable lunacies that will no doubt lead to the collapse of the US and possibly the extinction of our species.
So without further ado, here is today’s feature: Political Blinders (matinee shows available) Brought to you by End Tymes Popcorn. The perfect snack to dispel those apocalyptic munchies.
And now our feature presentation.......................
Prologue: Voiceover: “Polls are already showing the disappointment of Americans with Biden and the seeming inability of Democrats to get anything done....and the likelihood of key swing states trending towards Trump for 2024” Cut to Ms. Nebbish in a Pollyanna-style frock “Oh, what ever shall I do?”
Act 2: Why aren’t hard things easier? The same nebbish in Act 1 also is red-in-the-face over the fact that voting one president out and another one in hasn’t changed everything immediately. Mr & Ms Nebbish are mad that their toddler understanding of government isn’t how things are. It’s like the scene in Duck Soup where Harpo angrily tears up a message without conveying its contents and Chico explains “He gets mad because he can’t read.” People voted out a working majority and are now blaming the remaining folks for not having enough votes to sail things along the political pipeline. “Hey! I put a lot of money on your horse and just because I also slammed a 2X4 into its fetlocks before the race is NO reason why you should have let me down!”
Act 3: The scene you never see…...except with Mr. Nebbish and politics. Set: a burning building with beams falling around a screaming victim trapped inside. Cue the hero firefighter to burst in and rescue the hapless Nebbish and once outside and safe, (camera zooms in on the fireman’s helmet) The nebbish sees a sticker on it that indicates he is a fan of the cross-town rival football team. Disgusted by this seeming betrayal, the nebbish says “how could you let me down like this?! You're not from MY tribe! How dare you save me? I’m going back inside!”
If the four years of Trump taught us anything it’s that even if you want a change, HE is NOT the answer. He is not the untested commodity he was when he appealed to some in 2016. We have all seen everything we need to know with two separate impeachments and culminating in an attempted overthrow of the government itself. Not mild stuff. And yet? Biden can’t get things done quickly enough, so…...we must go back to Trump? Trump? Not Liz Cheney, or Romney, or whoever, but the guy who incited a hostile coup? HE’s the answer.
Act 4: The Invisible Man. So, Democrats are a disappointment. Well, for me they have been for decades, but the conversion of Republicans to Trumplicans has pretty much defined their stance pretty dramatically for me. And there stand Mr & Ms Nebbish. Wary of the Trumplicans, disgusted with the Democrats, and utterly blind to anyone else from a third party who might offer a fresh solution. Can’t vote for one of THEM! It’s a wasted vote. Instead let’s see-saw between the two entrenched parties each time things don’t improve in the hope that one time one party WILL actually do something to benefit us or to represent us. In fact, despite never really being happy with what goes on, let’s not even take a chance on trying something new.
Act 5 Finale. Don’t screw with Mother Nature. (cue stock footage of hurricanes and earthquakes) You know when zero inflation doesn’t matter? When you’re standing on the last piece of scorched dry land in the midst of a vast sea and there’s nothing left to buy. The fucking planet is in trouble and I doubt even the Democratic proposals are going to be enough to do anything in the long run. But a return to Trumpism??????? THAT’S going to solve it? Mr. “It’s-all-a-hoax” Trump? That’s going to be America’s choice in 2024? Along with giving him a majority to work with in 2022? AFTER we’ve seen what they already tried to do? Oh my, this is certainly not a feel-good flick with a happy ending. Fade to black. Roll credits. I need a scotch to wash down my popcorn.