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Friday, May 27, 2016

Yeah, right.

I saw this one recently and I can't even come up with a witty response......other than to refer to this clip from "Mighty Wind" :
Yes, I just want to slap the person who made this in the head.

As a practitioner of 2 out of 3 of the recommended activities, and someone who intellectually "gets" the appeal of cuckolding for some, (even though it's not for us)................this seems like the work of someone who doesn't 'get' any of the three recommendations for a better life. 

So, to whoever you are out there who made this....please take your one hand and swing it sharply into the back of your head. Thank you. I feel better already.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Recent development

It seems that Rosa and I have ventured into some new territory. As you may know we are "out" to a lot of people, One very interested person is our neighbor, Marta .....and to a lesser degree, her husband, Wally. They are older than me which makes them much older than Rosa (who has become a sort of surrogate daughter to Marta.) Over the years Marta has become quite comfortable discussing our DD arrangement and, with Rosa's encouragement, has even playfully teased me about misbehaving and its consequences. She has even seen me in my post-punishment "chaps" after dropping by unannounced while I was making breakfast one morning. Rather than have me cover up, Rosa had me turn and show my spanked cheeks to her. Another time Marta even got to see my locked-up privates! So, she is very much "in the loop".

While Marta was always open to the notion of kinky spanking ....a la '50 Shades', she was admittedly a bit surprised when she first learned about the length, severity, and overall 'genuine punitive aspect' of my punishment spankings. But over time she has grown to not only understand how DD spanking 'works' but has expressed her comfort with it. She has told me outright that it makes perfect sense to her that if Rosa is going to spank me for genuine misbehavior, the spanking is going to be just as genuine............and unpleasant.  Now, if Rosa tells her about something I did and how I was punished, Marta will give me a 'look' and make some sort of "well, you definitely got what you deserved" comment.

Well recently Marta and Wally had dinner with us and brought a dessert and some homemade bread. She specifically asked that we return the serving plates even though they were just "fancy plastic". Of course we agreed and took care to clean them and keep them separate. Well somehow they got MELTED! No one knows how. It could have been me.......or it could have been someone else (possibly even Rosa herself) however, I'm the sub in an FLR sooooooo.............the blame is defaulting to me, and I'm OK with that. Especially since I'm in the kitchen a lot and even though I don't remember melting them, I could have done it by accident.

This past Saturday we were invited to their house for dinner and Rosa was going to tell her about what happened. But Rosa also decided that she would tell Marta that not only will we be replacing her plates.....but that I was going to be punished for the mishap and that Marta should come up with a number for the spanking.

Just before going over to our neighbors' house Rosa gave me a semi-serious spanking. By semi-serious, I mean that the offences cited were real enough, but minor and used more as an excuse by Rosa to bemusedly have my buns tender while we were with our friends than any real anger or upset. I joked with her afterwards that while she found this to be a "fun one", from my end (literally) it felt fairly serious. She agreed with the contradiction.

So, Rosa got Marta in the kitchen pretty early on and told her about the melted plates and her intention to punish me for the incident in an amount of Marta's choosing. Initially Marta said it wasn't necessary, but Rosa assured her very evilly that it was. And that's all it took for Marta to jump right on board! The only thing was Marta's "experience" with spanking is limited to the laughable descriptions in "50 Shades", so  Rosa told me later that she first suggested "8" thinking it was worse than the "6" mentioned in the book. Of course Rosa nearly bust out laughing and told her she would need to go higher than that! Marta then suggested her age and Rosa said that if she doubled that she might be getting closer. Rosa then quickly gave her the lowdown on what a punishment spanking REALLY consisted of and after some banter and negotiating they agreed on 300 spanks. (Rosa tried to coax her even higher but Marta said she couldn't imagine going higher, so 300 it would be). Now all this was done outside of my presence, but when we settled in to play cards after dinner, Marta began to tease me and went through a series of increasing amounts each time she felt I was being less than humble and meek in my playing. Ultimately she declared the 300 they had previously agreed upon.

After that there was some discussion of DD and her husband asked me about HoH perceptions and realities. It was very cool. I said some things about Rosa as she was sitting there that made her very proud and happy. When we got home Rosa said she was very pleased with me and my humbled attitude. So.......she decided to give me a reward-play-spanking the following night so that I'd be all mushy and sore and so when my "300" came, they would be very hard to take!

So Sunday I got spanked just before bedtime, I found my 'reward' to not be very 'rewarding' at all though.....and struggled through the entire 200 nasty spanks Rosa gave me. I texted her the following morning however, that I appreciate her no-nonsense spanking style very much......even if it is impossible for me to show it at the time. Afterwards I am always glad her spankings are the real deal, delivered jut as she wishes rather than a spanking done exactly as I would wish it. She liked that text a lot!

Monday I went out and  bought the replacement plates and wrote Marta a very heartfelt note which I signed and included with her plates. 

After Rosa got out of work, had dinner, and relaxed a bit with a stroll through our garden, we talked a bit and she suggested we get on with the intended discipline. I went to our room and stripped. She got into her place against the pillows and headboard and over her lap I went! Since this was a punishment, she used our heftiest paddle and delivered the 300 smacks with punitive enthusiasm. She did not go overboard, but with that paddle she didn't need to. Firm application was sufficient to leave my butt appropriately pink, stinging, swollen, and hot. 

Then as I dressed in a pair of cheek-revealing 'punishment panties' and my denim chaps, she called Marta on her cell phone and informed her of what just transpired and asked if she'd like to come over for her plates and to see my freshly-spanked bottom on display. Of course she agreed. 

When Marta came, initially alone, I gave her a hug which she said later felt so much different than any I had given her before. (later we talked about "post-spanking hugs" and how they affect me and Marta said very sweetly that she understood what I meant and could tell at the time that a lot more emotion was being conveyed besides the usual 'greeting hug' she normally receives. She even admitted she was thinking a "wow" in her head at how profound an experience a punishment spanking must be for me. Rosa confirmed her reaction, assuring her that my post-spanking hugs are always very full of sincere, contrite emotion and appreciation.) 

Then I gave her the plates and the note.....which she said she wanted to read at home. was time to turn around.  Well, you can imagine her reaction. She asked some questions about the spanking itself and I even showed her the paddle Rosa used. After hefting it and tapping it against her own hand, she fully appreciated what I had just endured.......but while impressed, and a bit surprised, she acted in no way 'sorry' for me. (I love that about her!)

We then went off to relax on our porch with me still in my chaps as Marta teasingly asked me, "are you sure you can sit down?" I served the ladies drinks, along with myself. Interestingly, I got teased more about my my punishment-panties than my raw butt.............even though my raw posterior naturally prompted a few teases (especially as I poured the drinks with my back to them).  

Marta asked a lot more questions about our lifestyle and Rosa was particularly vocal and went into more detail and background than she usually does. Eventually after some revealing conversation, her husband came over and there was a lot of joking about me not getting out of my chair! But a bit later I did get up to get Marta another drink,.................and despite the warnings to Wally to cover his eyes...........the world did not come to an end. More questions ensued before the topic changed to politics and history. Around 8 PM our neighbors decided to go home. 

It was a very interesting evening. Marta was pleased with everything.....including the clear understanding that this was not some one-time thing, but a precedent for how any future misbehavior or annoyances could be handled. Rosa was very clear that any complaint and suggestion for punishment would be dealt with just as seriously as this one had. She even said she'd probably go along with any recommendation from Marta.......even if it wasn't 100% 'serious'. And just so she knew I was OK with that, I confirmed my willingness to abide by their decisions. Marta definitely seemed to like the idea. What person wouldn't appreciate that kind of power? In the past, Rosa had always included her somewhat in being another 'boss' to be obeyed. Besides ensuring Rosa's glass was always full, it was expected that I treat Marta with that same privilege. A few times she'd 'play up' this limited authority by waving her empty glass at me, smiling with an insinuating look of 'you better fill this'. But none of that can compare to the authority she now has. Rosa could not have been more clear that, while she would naturally have the final approval and say, Marta would not need to present some long and convincing case for me to get a spanking at her suggestion. A mere request would invariably be sufficient.

Marta is far from being a mean person.......but she can be mischievous as hell. I wonder what she's going to do with this new authority. We all see each other a lot and it's clear that Wally, while not interested in participating, has no problem with me being in the situation I'm in. Rosa loves this and is a real instigator. And I also made it pretty clear that I'm willing to be somewhat at her mercy. it's just a matter of time before something comes up.

As for the last few days? Well, while my buns are still very tender as I write this, overall everything went very well. The only truly unpleasant part of the whole event was the spanking itself.......and with my Rosa, that is exactly what I've come to expect and admire her for. I had expected to be more embarrassed when it came time to show my spanked cheeks, but somehow it was only slightly so. (Maybe because Marta had already seen me like this before?) And when Wally came over I really thought I'd be more embarrassed than I was............but I think the very cool, curious, and accepting way that both Marta and Wally approached the situation did a lot to make me feel that, just like Rosa and I find this "normal" for ourselves..........they too see it as "normal" for who we all are as well.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Night out

Ummmm, do you think we could do the movie first?

Yeah, kind of hard to enjoy "Civil War" with an eye swollen shut. And then if you bump into someone who asks, "gee, what happened to you?" the lady runs the risk of arrest. No, better to enjoy the movie first and then come home so she can pretend she's Cap and you are Crossbones.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Algonquin Round Table

When I started this blog I did so primarily as a way to promote the main website that houses my stories and artwork. However, even as I did so I hoped for this blog to one day become a sort of Algonquin Round Table for kinksters. Now, many months later, I can count on a couple of people, or at best, a small handful of people to comment and participate. 

It's discouraging.

Monday, May 16, 2016


Perhaps..........but right about now, I'll bet they're all equally offended.

Which brings me to the thought for the day: why does the word "cunt" prompt such outrage? As a guy I don't believe women are merely being overly sensitive when hearing it. Rather it's a fair reaction to the intentional derision with which it's slung. But it's still just a word ...........admittedly with multiple meanings and connotations. Geni-clature itself is applied to both genders routinely.

The funny part is that the slang depicting genitalia is not used similarly. For guys' parts, you hear most typically: dick, prick, and cock, and of the three, cock is rarely applied to a person (unless you add "sucker".....which changes everything).  But calling a guy a dick is not like calling a woman a cunt. Dick is almost playful and can even be leveled with a smile. Dick = jerk. And while it's not a compliment, it carries little to no venom. 

When you do want to say a guy is a nasty jerk you use prick. But even prick does not generate the offence cunt does. Probably because the type of guy who gets called a prick is too arrogant to care. He may even be proud to be regarded as a prick by his adversaries.

The feminine counterpart slang consists of pussy, twat, and the aforementioned cunt. Interestingly when pussy  is used towards a female, its meaning changes drastically. Referring to a woman as a pussy or more commonly "as" pussy means she is merely a receptacle for a guy's cock. But call a male a pussy and he's a wimp.

Twat means a woman is sort of silly or stupid, but not necessarily the jerk a dick would be. And there's the problem. Women can be jerks but there's no geni-clature to deal with that. Instead, you move right to cunt which is a more offensive equivalent to prick. And maybe the real issue is how women react to being labeled as bitchy.  Whereas the guy being called a prick is somehow almost proud of it, a women hates being seen the same way.

So perhaps there are three issues at work: 1. no female dick-equivalent (hey, maybe clit should begin to be used in these situations? "Oh come on, Sally. Now you're just being a clit!" ) 2. women are generally more uncomfortable when being seen as ruthless, and 3. men know the impact of cunt and therefore use it maliciously to browbeat aggressive women.

As always, thoughts, suggestions, and opposing views are welcome!

Friday, May 13, 2016

Race-related captions....and thoughts

I found a few captioned photos that were too funny to pass up. They were found among a huge collection of images that dealt with the desire of white people to submit to Black or African-American people. On one hand, as a white submissive male.....I get it. But another part of me got to thinking: 'Isn't there a certain racist irony to this?'

On the surface it seems very empowering to a race that has usually been put in a submissive role (and not a fun sexy one) to be cast as the dominant party, but it seems that the motive for those submitting is based on an assumption of inferiority. It's like: "Not only am I such a lowly submissive that I will grovel before a dominant..........but I'm SO lowly I'll even do it to a Black person." So despite putting the Black person in the dominant role, isn't that attitude still pretty demeaning? (thoughts are very welcome)

Anyway, race are a couple of 'captioned captions':

????, Um, but then wouldn't there be a point at which a black woman might no longer be black? (Maybe it would just be better (and more accurate) to say, "No matter the skin color, women are beautiful".)

Granted not a terribly grammatical god, but a god just the same.
(I could be wrong, but this shot seems Photoshopped as well. The submissive has that crazy shadow behind her side that is just floating out there like half of a dark aura. Scale seems an issue as well.)

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

More ridiculous captions

I found this series recently and just couldn't resist commenting:

Or when simply asked to do a chore around the house.

"I really should have gotten my period by now...."

Looks like "dad" wanted her top off as well. Better to see his "daughter's" collection of tattoos I suppose? At least he let her keep her socks on. "Dad" may be a bit of a weirdo....but definitely not a foot fetishist! 

Or that anyone notices the kitty litter in the corner.

Yeah, that wig of his is pretty bad.

But probably a bit too old to be going around topless in front of him.  Discipline may be one thing, but "Dad" seems like a bit of a pervert.

Wow, some of these are just so creepy! The photo series is bad enough, but someone actually felt the need to narrate the scene. Anyway, enough for now. I do have a few more I'll be posting in a bit. Please feel free to comment or better yet...........send me the best captioned calamity you've found!

Thursday, May 5, 2016

As promised.....

In my previous post I discussed my feelings about particular kinds of captioned photos and decided to place my own responses to the things emblazoned on mostly vanilla images:
Which can only mean that Uncle Eustace is still waiting at the airport!

Really? An apology will suffice? I don't need to compensate with expensive gifts and a fancy car? Oh Honey, you're the best!

I don't know. I never needed any training. It's really not that complicated.

Meaning: 'do as I say, NOT as I spell'.

and lastly.................
Countless years of therapy?!

Wednesday, May 4, 2016


Oh, so she's a whore trying to get money to replace her broken air conditioner?

I hate captioned pictures with supposed "sexy" messages super-imposed on them. I don't mind a funny caption, but I'm disgusted at the plethora of captioned images you see everywhere now......... with little supposed quotes and descriptions that attempt to turn fairly vanilla porn into some titillating kink-fodder.

Some are absurd. Some are unintentionally funny. Many are misspelled. But nearly all of them just reek of desperation. One I saw recently could be the poster for kink-captioned irony:
Really? THIS emblazoned on some vanilla stock photo? Maybe if the author used a personal photo of their own radical kink-fest with this caption, I'd have an easier time swallowing it. Anyway, I hate these things. So, I will be incorporating a new feature here on Collected Submissions: the captioned caption. Periodically I will glean some captioned photo from the Internet and add my own caption to it.