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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Occupational dignity

If I had to guess I'd say, "they become telemarketers."

Mocking telemarketers has a fine history. Just check out Catherine Keener's rant in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin". But just like disparaging politicians and insulting Asian drivers, it's a form of ridicule that never gets old. I am on every "do not call" list I can register for and diligently uncheck the "contact me with information" boxes on every application. Unless it's necessary, I will not give out my phone number when routinely asked.......and if it IS necessary, I make sure to say that it better not make its way into anyone's telemarketing roster. And despite all that, I STILL get solicited. 

Unlike many people who feel compelled to answer their phones merely because they ring, I do not. And despite not being the most tech-appreciative person in the world, I have learned to update my cell-phone's directory so that most important callers will be identified. I've even given the key people in my life different ring tones so that long before I even look at my phone, I know who is calling. However, I also have some things going on that mean that there may be an important incoming call coming in that I will not have coded. And these I pick up. And invariably these calls turn out to be telemarketers.

I think most people hate telemarketers, (hell I think even telemarketers hate themselves).....and with good reason.  They are intrusive and dishonest. I once picked up a call while busy, thinking this could be one of those important calls I was expecting only to have it turn out to be a telemarketer. As soon as I discerned the nature of the call, I tried to be polite and said, "sorry, I don't take solicitations over the phone." Rather than say, "OK, sorry for bothering you," the fucker told me this was not a solicitation and in the next breath began to solicit me! If I had a button on my phone that would have made the caller explode, I would have pressed it with a grin.

(If you are a telemarketer reading this and you feel compelled to point out that you are only doing a job............ don't. To me you will just sound like a Dachau guard saying "I vaz only followink awe-duz." So rather than waste your time and mine in trying to defend your indefensible useful for once and volunteer yourself for medical experimentation.)

I've never been one to criticize the choices people make for their careers, as long as those choices don't adversely affect me. (Which is why I routinely rip apart politicians.) But telemarketing is a vile thing. Very recently I had one call where I was feeling less patient than usual and said in a dismissive tone that I was busy and not interested.......and the woman got nasty with me. Or at least she started to as I hung up. Think about that. SHE got nasty with ME when she was the one interrupting me. I did not ask her to call, and I did not want her to call. She was the intrusion and yet she seemed to think her job gave her the right to intrude. What nerve!

I know some people are desperate for a job and telemarketing is out there with welcoming arms, but it's still just one possibility. If a person needs money there are other things they can do that are far nobler:

circus side-show
selling drugs to school children

......and if nothing else, just good old honest solicitation. Find your corner. Get a cup. And beg honestly. At least you won't be interrupting me in the middle of something important.


  1. I label telemarketers on my cellphone. That way I don't answer.

    1. Do you tag them as "telemarketers" or "vermin"?

    2. ::gigglesnort:: I label them by the date that they called me

  2. Ok....I was a telemarketer for a year and half. I made a lot of money as an 18 year old selling windows and doors. Till that one saturday morning when I called the wrong guy at the wrong time. He was an old man. Called me "Slime" because I called him before his eggs were done. I quit shortly after. Point of this comment? Nothing. Your Welcome.

    1. It is good you found your way back to 'right path' my son. The road to redemption is full of temptation......and crotchety fuckers who will call you names.

      But, sometimes it's for your own good. At least you are a human being again.