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Monday, August 22, 2016

My answers

I figured it was about time I answered my own “25 things you never needed to know about me, that now you do.” Q&A. It seems only fair although I had hoped more visitors would have given it a shot. Still, it's not too late. So if you are feeling a bit bold.....go for it! In the meantime, here are my answers:

1.How old were you when you first realized you were kinky? 6 or 7

2.Will you eat something if it falls on the floor? Depends on the food and floor….but within reason…yes

3.Have you ever kept a personal memento of a lover like their hair or nail clippings…….or other? Yes. Hair...........from various locations. 

4.If you could affordably and safely keep any unusual animal as a pet, what would you choose? I’ve always wanted a pet komodo dragon since I was a kid and told by dog owners, “oh, he won’t bite. He’s just being friendly.” I just thought it would be fun to offer them the same consolation as my pet lizard sniffed the air with its forked tongue and circled them.

5.If you could tell someone from your past about your lifestyle, who would it be? Probably my father.

6.Who was the absolute worst person you’ve ever known? A former co-worker who simply existed for the sole purpose of being a miserable conniving witch to nearly everyone she encountered. If something bad happened she’d make it worse. If nothing bad happened, she’d lie and say it did. She had an HR file as thick as War and Peace but her marriage to another manager saved her over and over again. (Christine, if you are out there reading this……..Karma, baby. It’s gonna get you in the end.)

7.If you could enact a law, what would it be and what would the penalty be for breaking it? I’d need two. One would simply be: Hypocrisy=death.........ideally in a way that somehow reflected the hypocrisy put forth and executed by those who suffered most from it. The other would have to be open-mouthed chewing. The penalty……..a duct taped mouth with a peeled moruga scorpion pepper tucked inside. (There would be very few repeat offenders.)

8.If the only way you could continue to live a kinky lifestyle was to switch to the role opposite of the one you are currently in, would you or could you do it? Yes, but I might not be able to sustain it forever.

9.If you could be part of a TV family would you choose the Partridge family, the Addams family, or the Waltons? duh-duh-duh Dum. >snap snap<
(Any surprise here?)

10.Has anyone besides you or your S.O. ever seen your or your S.O.’s  butt when it was still red from a spanking, and if so, who was it? See post for Tuesday, May 24th, 2016 "Recent Development".

11.If you had to dispatch a zombie, other than a gun, what would be your implement of choice? WW2 pilot's axe:

12.Would you rather fool around with a vampire, alien, or mer-maid/man? :

13.Have you ever displayed your religious tolerance by saying, “I don’t care what you believe as long as you believe in something.”? Never. In fact I usually try to point out the intolerance inherent in that seemingly innocent statement.

14.In which fictional bar would you prefer to drink: Quark’s Bar, Cheers Pub, Rick’s Café Americain, or the Leaky Cauldron? Really? Quark’s would suit my brother but not me. I actually drank in the Bull & Finch which is Boston’s “real” Cheers bar. (It was disappointingly boring.) I could definitely enjoy Rick’s ………….especially in a nice vintage tux…………..but let’s face it………there’s really only one place a face like this...

                                               would really be at home: 

15. What is your fondest memory involving  a nipple? Once when I was topping a love from my past, I had her open her blouse in a woodsy area and lean forward into a small young tree so that her breasts were separated by its trunk. I then attached two clips on a short connecting chain to each nip and then kept roughly kissing her and forcing her backward. It was pretty hot.

16.Confess the most prejudiced or un-PC thing you actually believe to be true. If you are participating in a seamlessly smooth alternate merge and one car comes along to fuck it up by hugging the bumper of the car in front of it in order to avoid letting the other car go………….that disrupting car will invariably have New York plates.

17.What’s the most desperate thing you’ve ever used to wipe your butt? A leaf. 

18.When you finally die, how would you like to go out? And conversely, what is the worst way to die? I’d like to go suddenly. Maybe in my sleep….maybe a sudden heart attack………….or perhaps just a bullet from an unseen source. As for worst……..I have a lot of ways I think are bad…cancer being at the top of the list…but aside from that, I’ve always been particularly terrified of stories where people were killed by being cooked alive.

19.What was the strangest way you ever achieved an orgasm? Tough call. I’ve had a few. For the sake of brevity I’ll say it was when I was allowed an O from a former partner under the condition I achieve it with my hands shackled behind my back. I dry-frotted the foot-board of my bed and actually managed to get off doing so.

20.If you could get away with it, who would you most like to bludgeon to death? For the longest time I would have said the person from #6…………but recent events have convinced me that my ex would be the best candidate for such a fate. (If I asked nicely perhaps I could do them both?)

21.Can you eat with chopsticks? Expertly even.

22. What sexual experiment of yours ended the most disastrously? Let’s just say…………NEVER use pineapple extract to creatively flavor your penis. You might as well masturbate using Ben-Gay as lube!

23.If you suddenly went all 1950’s Sci-Fi, would you rather begin to grow or shrink………….and how would you work that into your sex life? Shrink so I could fit in tight places. I also like the idea of finally figuring out quantum mechanics by witnessing it firsthand.

24.Which sounds most like ‘you’: A kaleidoscope……… a. works on principles of physics and optics, b. is a toy you’ll never see these darned modern day kids enjoying, c. is a rainbow in a blender, or d. reminds me of my last acid trip? Even  though I have actually (and to some, surprisingly) never done LSD, all 4 of these sound like me in different moods.

25.And finally………. just what is the largest thing you’ve ever had up your ass? The fist and forearm of a former “play-partner” who was a bit on the large side.....a true BBW. It was my first and only foray into “fisting” and it was quite memorable and not nearly as unpleasant as one might think. It did definitely widen my outlook.