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Monday, October 24, 2016

A Past Incident

It seems that the few posts revolving around others in our circle being aware of our lifestyle resonated with people. When I went looking back over some posts in other places to find the background piece, I stumbled upon another incident that happened this past March.....right around St. Patrick's Day. I figured I'd copy and paste it here:

Yesterday morning I was supposed to drop my nieces off for their school bus stops and fell back to sleep so that I only managed to make it in time for one of them. Now initially that sounds like a punishable thing, but the twist is that at the time it happened....and even now, Rosa is not terribly upset that it happened. She has felt that my brother has repeatedly and consistently done things like this and that I hardly ever mess up like this. So in her mind, she felt this was a good lesson for him. However, while she insists she is not upset about my screw-up, she has cheerfully decided she will punish me just the same. She actually said though that she is going to consider this a reward spanking, but when I asked her if that was how it would be from my perspective she gleefully informed me it would not. So while she is pleased about the accidental "life lesson" for my usually late brother. I am still going to get a solid punishment spanking.

Personally, I HATE being late for things and I drive most people crazy with my OCD compulsion to always be on time, so I actually don't mind being punished for yesterday's screw-up. It seems fair. The reason I posted this though is to show how whether we are spanked when our HoH's are really mad or when they are not mad at all.......for our butts, there isn't much of a difference!

Yesterday Rosa got home but did not punish me right away like she warned. Instead I had to wait until evening when she was finally ready. She instructed me to get the lighter of our two main "punishment paddles" and asked me how I felt about what was going to happen. I explained I was resigned to all of it and she then gave me a stingy but moderate punishment of about 200 smacks. But while it certainly wasn't enjoyable, when she told me to get up, I did feel a bit like I had gotten off easy......especially after her multiple teases and warnings through the day. I guess I was just thinking it was going to be a bit worse.

As I was putting the paddle back she commented on the color of my bottom and I told her that while it definitely stung, I had expected worse. She then explained very good-naturedly how she really wasn't upset that this happened, repeating her feeling that she liked that this may have given my perpetually-tardy brother a good lesson. She did admit that she did still punish me because, regardless of his past issues, I had said I would pick the girls up and I messed it up a bit. But she just wasn't very mad about it.......hence the milder spanking.

As you may know from past posts, Rosa and I have a DD understanding that goes back to the very start of our agreement which says that we each agree to either endure or deliver enough punishment so that each party walks away feeling like "it's finished". Usually it's her who wishes to add more on, but on a few occasions I was the one to suggest a bit more so as to thoroughly wash away my feelings of guilt or remorse. With that firmly in mind, Rosa said she truly understood what I was saying about my own guilt in this regardless of my brother's past record. She said that while she felt satisfied, she could see why I might have more guilt associated with what happened since she wasn't actually hurt by what happened while my nieces were. And since she definitely admitted that she had indeed gone easier than usual, given my current feelings, she would gladly worsen my punishment. 

So back over her lap I went and Rosa, now armed with the heavier of the two paddles, proceeded to add 70 more swats to my rear.............and these were full-force scorchers that had me yelping! She really let me have it! She spanked me now just as if she was really upset with me. When done my butt was radiating heat and felt totally leathery and swollen.   She was beaming a smug little grin though and when I asked her about it, she just mentioned how much she enjoys her power. So my hinder is still fairly tender this morning and Rosa went to work teasing me that she might spank me again tonight.......but I think she's just teasing.

Then this follow-up a couple of days later:

So yesterday we were over our neighbor-in-the-know's house so that my tech-savvy Rosa could help her with the clarity of her HDTV image. 99% of the discussion had to do with the approaching holidays (Easter) and the TV issues themselves, but at one point I got a phone call I needed to take that resulted in a discussion that caused a revelation of a chain of related tidbits..................oddly leading up to the incident described above, and since Rosa is so open and proud of her authority and our neighbor is so unusually interested in our lifestyle, Rosa went on to explain that despite her personal feelings on my screw-up, that she still punished me for it. Our neighbor loves these stories and asked some questions smiling with each answer! All with me standing right there. 

The thing about our neighbor is that she would like to live such a lifestyle herself but her husband, while also cool with us doing it, does not want it in his own life.....especially since her desire is to be the HoH. So she sort of enjoys hearing the nuances of how such a relationship actually plays out in the day-to-day world from us. What she learned yesterday from my Honey, is that the punishments are not just for my 'benefit' but also so that Rosa can release her anger or frustration. She seemed initially surprised at that, but then seemed to quickly understand that such a thing could be very beneficial for restoring harmony. The one thing that I find blushingly cute, is her genuine lack of sympathy for my punishments. I know from conversations with her that her approval is based on knowing: 1: this is consensual, 2: Rosa is amazingly fair, 3: I do actually do the typical things that drive a spouse crazy at times, and that 4: these are 'spankings' and not some frying pan bludgeonings......meaning while genuine, they only result in a stinging backside, not black eyes or broken bones......and she's bemusedly OK with that.

I should add though that Rosa is not the only one who is open, I too sometimes reveal my comeuppances in certain circumstances. In fact, shortly after the incident, I did text apologies to both of my nieces, but I also let one of them know what happened as a result. (Both of them are aware of our lifestyle BTW, and while both are cool with it, my one niece is much more 'bemusedly receptive' than the other.) It wasn't a long or detailed exchange, more of a "you know how we live over here, so just to let you know, Rosa made sure to take care of my screw-up" type thing. Whenever I do tell my niece these things I do make sure to keep things simple and somewhat discreet or euphemistic. The main thing I always made sure she understood whenever we discussed stuff like this is that the DD punishments are not some R-rated adult game but the real deal......and that I do agree to them and not being bullied or abused in any way. She is another person though who despite her youthfulness, seems to understand that ......and also approves. When I told her about how this incident was 'resolved', she texted back that she agreed with Sonia's handling of it and felt I did truly deserve what I got. And ironically she was the one I made it in time for!

While my niece did not 'do the honors' like this young lady, she flatly admitted that she approved of Rosa's handling of the situation.

So whether it's friends or relatives, those we have chosen to be open with, all have accepted it and most have given their approval as well. I wonder if those who know all of us, whether we are HoHs or TiHs, do pick up on the same traits that have led us all to this lifestyle? I wonder if that's why....other than those occasional negative stories you hear, a lot of the stories I have heard about people who are even just one or two other people.... seem to reflect that same "approval"? It's definitely one thing to be OK with something, but quite another to go so far as to endorse it.


  1. KD - you are virtually living the domestic discipline dream. You and Rosa are really killing it. My fantasy is a neighborhood, subdivision, or even an entire town where all of the residents are in varied sorts of female led relationship - and where the majority of which employ corporal punishment. Seeing a nude male being punished by his fully clothed female authority would not be an everyday event, but it would not be completely unusual - whether it be writing lines, standing in the corner or getting spanked. Along those lines I am going to propose the five levels of FLR as far as its openness:

    1) Only the man and woman know about it
    2) Other members of the household know about it
    3) A few close friends or relatives outside the household know about it
    4) Numerous acquaintances and even distant relatives know about it
    5) You live in an FLR town and it is just part of the culture

    Sounds like you guys have already reached Level 3 - congrats.

    Carl H

    1. Thank you, Carl. Actually quite a few friends know so maybe we are really a 3.5?LOL Anyway, in all honesty, being as open as we are has worked out fine....BUT I don't think it is merely a matter of being open. The conditions have to be right as well.

      We live in the NY/NJ metro area and people here have seen it all, AND Rosa exudes a sort of 'that makes sense' aura that renders the situation more acceptable and believable to the people we have selectively come out to.

      Even if a couple was as open as we are, without those conditions, coming out......even in 2016.....could be tricky.