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Tuesday, October 25, 2016


As a kinky person with a cell phone, I have to wonder: just who in the hell came up with the emojis that are standard to an I-Phone? As a couple into chastity and the occasional lock-up, we love that there are three different lock emojis:

There's this one plus one with a key, and one unlocked. 

But beyond chastity conversations, anything else requires imagination and the creative corruption of innocent images. One of our favorites is:

It may not look like what Rosa & I are texting about, but there's little doubt or confusion as to what this is going to mean for me.

Another option is to use those emojis that have already been reassigned by a perverted public to mean other things:

Everyone seems to know that this peach is not what it seems. And if you add:

along with it, you get another pretty clear message!

Beyond all these though there are glaring absences in the Apple roster: no feet? They have hands galore, a nose, lips, eyes, even a tongue, but no feet..........only sad footprints of where those lovely toes had once been. Fortunately for me, we have an inside joke wherein toes are routinely called "mushrooms" in our house. So I just use the mushroom emoji whenever I'm talking tootsies............but that just works for us.

And then they have all these common household items........... but no hairbrush. No paddle in the sports stuff either. Instead there are emojis that just make you scratch your head. Colored buttons and shapes, Astrological signs? Symbols I do not understand. And do I really need flags from all over the world? 

What's even more interesting is that I can't get a foot, or hairbrush, or even a clothespin? But I can get this soft steamy pile:

It seems to me the person responsible for the selection offered needs a good slap. So, what emoji would YOU like to see as a standard offering?


  1. How about a "smiley face" that's sweating profusely and looking very apprehensive?

    1. Sure, and you are right. The emoticon ones are truly lacking certain emotional ranges. Instead you have weird symbols....or a repeat of the same emotions on a fucking cat! Why a cat?

    2. Hey, Stranger! Where've you been? I was worrying about you!

    3. I've been in lots of pain. Finally saw my Ortho doctor on Friday last week. He diagnosed frozen shoulder complicated by my diabetes. I see PT tomorrow, and it will take up to a year or more for me to heal.

    4. Oh wow! You need a hefty dose of some old-fashioned 'good luck' for a change. I'm confident that you'll see it through're tough!

  2. No Eggplant?

    1. The trouble with eggplant is you never know where it's been. ;-)