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Friday, April 28, 2017

Embarrassed now?

So yesterday Rosa, Marta, and I all went to one of our favorite thrift stores to look for some retro clothes for a 70's party we are going to. Wally (Marta's husband) was at an adult class and was not in attendance........(though we found him a shirt anyway.)

As we pulled into the lot, knowing how much I love 'treasure hunting' in that particular store, Rosa said to me, "now don't go crazy buying stuff in there."

The remark sort of hit me the wrong way even though it wasn't said nastily, since even though I love to hunt for cool stuff, I am also pretty frugal on my own, and I responded by saying, "Honey, come on. Do you really have to embarrass me like that in front of Marta?"

Rosa just laughed at my objection and said, "really, Honey? How about if I put it this way in front of Marta instead: 'if you start buying too much, I'm going to spank your ass when we get home' ? Is that less embarrassing for you?"

Marta just laughed out loud and observed, "there you go, (KDP). You sort of asked for that!"
Well, even though we did get more than the retro clothes, Rosa had no problem with the stuff I found, so the above little scene DID NOT HAPPEN! would have definitely been interesting if it did!

Wednesday, April 26, 2017


As much as I love the taste of a good beer or cocktail, I must admit that the presentation of the drink is almost as important to me. I tend to shun plastic cups for drinks......unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. Even as a guest, I will request a glass and promise that if I should break it, I'll buy the hosts an entire new set. (I hardly ever break glasses.)

Look at this beautiful drink:

A pre-Prohibition classic, "The Last Word" served in a nice, weighty, hand-blown glass and garnished with sour cherries.

Would this 1920's favorite really be the same in a red plastic cup? Or consider this James Bond classic:

The Vesper Martini from "Casino Royale"  (also made here and served in an entirely different glass with lemon twist garnish,)

Can anyone imagine 007 sipping this from a Mason jar? No, presentation may not be everything but it is important. We have a wide array of glasses in our collection.....stemmed and unstemmed, from wide-mouthed to narrow, and from heavy glass to paper-thin crystal................and each has its purpose.  

The glass can define a drink. From a recent past post, you saw the little surprise 'treat' Rosa had left me one morning.  Considering the contents, you have to admit the oversized brandy snifter elevates the beverage to a new level.

A lot classier and more appealing than a specimen cup!

However, as extreme as this example might seem, sometimes 'presentation' can be taken even in this fantastic photo I stumbled across recently:

I am not a huge champagne fan......unless it's in a French 75........but this lovely lady has me rethinking that!  

I've sidled up to a lot of bar-tops in my day.......but this one has an appeal unlike any other! The others have usually been glass or brass............but this one is ass! No matter how fastidious the bar keep and no matter how delicious the drink......I have NEVER considered lapping up any spilled drops from a bar surface before.......but I'd make an exception here. 

It's all in the presentation

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Kali How-to

A few posts back I discussed a little torture session and painful semi-O I was treated to while wearing a spiked tube better known as a Kali's Teeth Bracelet or "KTB". After posting that little blurb a reader responded to me via e-mail rather than in the comment section asking about how I made my KTB. Since I am always willing to share "how-to's" I figured that maybe it would be helpful to do a post on it for you all, rather than just telling it to one person in private. So...............without further ado:

"How I made my own PVC KTB"

I started with a section of basic 1 1/4" O.D.  basic white PVC pipe obtainable at any decent hardware store. I bought enough to do two complete sections since making the hinge would require making two separate halves rather than trying to cut one section with a precise hinge. To get a better idea, here's a picture of my KTB open:

Here you can see what the design involves. Two exact halves with a simple hinge pivoting on a heavy gauge pin. The other pin shown is what holds the tube closed. 

I then cut a tab mimicking the hinge to act as the clasp. I simply glued the pieces to the outer edges of each half so that a tab would fit neatly in the waiting groove. The pin then slides through a drilled channel to secure it closed.

The spikes are made from the same white PVC stems you see marking lawns with those little flags after a commercial treatment. They are about a 9/64ths diameter. I drilled out holes in each half, cut and sharpened the rod into the 33 points seen here, and then just glued them in place. 

Once complete, I sanded everything and assembled it all, and finished it off with a coat of black paint to the exterior.......just to give it "a look".

To use it, I simply pull out the clasp pin, open the hinged tube, and close it around my soon-to-be tortured member. In order to do this however, I have to be at my absolute most relaxed and flaccid state.......or the tube will not close. Once shut, the pin is inserted either from one end or the other ......depending on what I will be doing and the rest is a matter of teasing followed by pain. (To see a few shots of what I am describing, the more curious among you can click here: KTB in action.)

All-in-all, the project requires patience and a minimum level of competence using tools. The design is very durable as evidenced by the number of years this KTB has been in use. The most it has required is an occasional paint touch-up as scratches appear.

So, if you feel like a rainy day project.......give this one a go. 

Monday, April 24, 2017

Women of Few (and many) Words

My first experience with bodywriting was seeing the weekly gyrations of the bikini-clad Goldie Hawn on Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in. Even at that early age I remember thinking the concept seemed contrived..........but that she had a cute belly-button.

Recently I came across this photo and recalled those early days, and then began thinking about the practice of bodywriting in general.

(Talk about the polar opposite of the Goldie Hawn image! ) 

The two most frequent uses of bodywriting seem to be: political statement and sexual humiliation. It is also seen sometimes as artistic expression, but a lot (though not all) of these 'art' attempts also seem somewhat political. Here are a couple of purely political examples:

(Pretty straightforward. No need to be witty when your message is scrawled across a naked body. The most clever protest messages are usually found on placards carried by clothed protesters.)

(Cute. now turn around so I can see the "Got Milk" section.)

And here a couple of "performance art" examples:

(I like the way the words convey directly what their body language and gestures also hint at.)

( Art? Or just some corny-assed shit? You decide.)

And here's one that is just sort of artsy all around:

(This works on many levels for me and as such is probably the best example of bodywriting as art.)

Using a nude or barely dressed female body to draw attention to one's message is not a new idea, but it strikes me as odd that women...........who usually complain about this when used in advertising, seem to have no problem shedding their clothes when it's their own idea. It's like, "hey I can exploit my own body if I want to....but don't YOU go doing it." One photo I found makes no attempt to say otherwise......and is also pretty amusing:

(I'm a mathematical moron......but I'd willingly spend some time trying to figure this one out.)

I am also not entirely convinced that these naked protests are purely political. My guess is that there is an underlying urge towards exhibitionism that is inwardly justified when the person adds a few choice phrases to their naked body. "Yes I'm naked in public.....but I am making a statement, dammit!"

I'm also not a huge fan of the sexually humiliating examples of bodywriting and find most of them to be vulgar and offensive. I'm not against sexual humiliation, but there's something garish and coarse about it when it's done with marker.

(I guess some people find this sexy..................but not me.)

Oh, Goldie............just look what you started!

Friday, April 21, 2017

So, WTF?

Remember the old Bugs & Daffy cartoon where every time Daffy came onstage the audience went silent and crickets began chirping? Well, it might be a little too cold and early for crickets, but I could swear I can sort of hear them.

So what's up, gang? Other than Merry, it doesn't seem like anything posted has prompted much interest......and there's been a good variety of humor and personal anecdote. Granted there hasn't been much specifically on spanking......but doesn't a 100% focus on spanking alone get boring after a while?

And while there are serious elements to "Collected Submissions" my goal from the start has always been to deliver things wrapped in some humor and sarcasm so as to entertain while sharing information. But you know how  local stand-up comedians  always seem to perform in front of that perennial 'brick wall' backdrop? Well I feel like I'm performing from BEHIND the wall and I can't tell whether the audience is laughing, booing, or have all gone home. My daily 'hits' look decent when I track them through Blogger, so it seems like people are coming here. But 'sheesh' how about a little noise to let me know there's life out there?

Not only has the blog been desolate, but the new Tumblr "Caption Hell" (which only requires a click of a 'like' button to the short quips) has only attracted Merry and Ana! 

I know not everyone is going to find EVERYTHING funny......but something somewhere should prompt SOMEONE to snicker. So what's the deal? 

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Bali Hai/Kali O

A few days ago Rosa and I indulged in a bit of torturous "fun" featuring a little piece of BDSM equipment called a "Kali's Teeth Bracelet".

(This is a typical commercially-available model made of steel. Ours looks almost exactly the same but is a homemade version constructed of PVC and as such the 'spikes' are a bit  pointier.)

For those unfamiliar, this is how it is worn:

(Not me, but you get the idea. The  larger idea being that the KTB is barely noticeable when flaccid......but increasingly uncomfortable should any growth towards erection occur. The pain usually causes the erection to either hurt mightily or retreat.)

The game we played was simplicity itself. Since I had not had a release in weeks, I asked Rosa if I could be allowed a nice session focused on her delicious bottom and offered two possible ways to conduct it:

1: Be locked in my CB with no ability to get any stimulation to my privates and NOT be allowed an O. Or......

2: Be confined in our KTB ( which Rosa calls our 'Spiked Tube' ) and be technically allowed an O.....if I felt brave enough or even able enough to achieve one while wearing the spikes. This option also would allow her to tease me with her feet.

She chose #2. Initially the session was a see-saw of pleasure and sting as I got excited with my 'treat' only to feel the sharp reminder of what I was wearing. Rosa who was now enjoying my plight, began to further my frustration by fondling the exposed end of my penis with her dexterous toes! OUCH!

Rosa doesn't smoke......but this Namio Harukawa illustration is freakishly accurate otherwise!

This went on for a bit as Rosa just relaxed.......but eventually the 'game' got her excited enough that she was approaching an orgasm of her own! I naturally sensed her desire for one and did my best to help her achieve it......which she did. But now this O-giving activity got me even crazier than I was before and I began to feel like my encased organ was getting a bit used to the cycle of sharp pokes. Had Rosa not had her "O" I probably would have just gone to bed O-less after satisfying myself with her bottom................but now I wanted one! Even if it meant feeling the bite of those points!

I re-focused and concentrated on both my oral servitude and the mounting build-up in my groin, until I reached a point of no return and achieved a release. However, the spikes .....while somehow not as bad as I remember them from the very few times I had an O like this......still 'ruined' the O. So there was a bit of release......and an ejaculation accompanied by the spikes.....but not a truly satisfying one. And yet......I was glad to have had the semi-release after the long time without anything.

The thing is, I am now probably even hornier than I was before the ruined O! 

Monday, April 17, 2017

Happy Dyngus Day!

First of all, a late Happy Easter to everyone. I'm sorry for the tardy greeting, but I was very busy for the last couple of days. Anyway, Easter here was great and I hope yours was too!

Today is Easter Monday, and young ladies across the Slavic portion of Eastern Europe are being doused with water and struck across their behinds in celebration of an odd combination of Easter and Dyngus Day.

I am of Polish descent and without any sisters, never really saw any manifestation of this 'fertility ritual' being performed when growing up, but I know of people who did carry on the practice here.

"Wesolych Velku Noc" is one way to say "Happy Easter" but to truly mean "Easter" the way most people do, one would say: "Wesolego Aleluja" instead. "Velku Noc" is still Easter......but it's the wet and stingy-bottomed Easter Monday-Easter.

A while back I came across the following cartoon and as a sub male, LOVED it:

( The confident young lady has obviously turned the traditional tables and is saying: "I'll give you 'Happy Dyngus Day'!!!" You can even see her wielding the traditional decorated braided whip that vendors sell or people make on their own and decorate with colorful ribbons. .........I wonder if when she's done, she'll cool off that striped bottom with a splash of cold water? )

For more on Dyngus Day check (here). Then go whack a few bottoms before the day runs out!

Thursday, April 13, 2017

More Bunnies

( "Happy Easter, kiddies!")

Leave it to adults to find seemingly innocent ways to torture children. I'll bet these two are in their 60's by now........and still in therapy!


Not much to report here. If life is a natural series of ups and downs, then we definitely have our share of both. After a couple of really interesting days, yesterday was a disaster. I know that Rosa gets stressed just before we have people over for holidays and this all could be that simple......but because I am home and working each day to make things better for her, it hurts me when she still seems unhappy............and yesterday I just blew up because of it. 

Hopefully it will all turn around. 

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

"Here comes Peter Cottontail......."

".......hoppin' down the bunny trail. Hippity Hoppity Easter's on its way."

One of Rosa's favorite Easter things, is finding undoctored vintage photos of creepy Easter Bunnies. We even set them out on our nicely-decorated Easter table as "favors" AND they are always a huge hit with most of them being taken home by our guests.

(This is one sad-ass costume with an even sadder kid! The really weird thing about this photo is that as a kid I actually met someone who looked just like this bunny!)

Today I have a bunch of Easter-prep errands to run in order to get ready for our Easter dinner this Sunday. But since this is an 'adult blog' rather than leave you with that 'stuff-of-nightmares' bunny, how about this?

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Half Empty or Half Full?

Maybe I'm just a nasty little pervert, but when I first saw this John Currin painting I was quite surprised that the title claimed that the beverage shown was wine and not what I thought it was! Maybe it was its color....or proximity to the place I had assumed to be its source, but I just naturally assumed this golden delight was a freshly-decanted liquid and not something that was fermented and aged in a barrel.

I am no stranger to Rosa's "personally decanted nectar" and to my surprise, before leaving for work this morning Rosa surprised me with this:

It had been a while since Rosa last surprised me like this, but given the circumstances of the last few days, it made sense in a weird way. Anyway, it certainly added a twist to my day I wasn't expecting!

On another note, I have noticed that commenting has not just dwindled but ceased with the exception of Merry. I am not sure why this is and hope there is no serious reason for it, but it is a pretty sad thing when "Escorts of Bangalore" leave more comments than my once-loyal Round Table members! So don't be shy. Say your piece.......even if it is critical. (Just follow the rules for posting is all I ask!)

Monday, April 10, 2017

Apples, Trees, & Mushrooms

In my last post I talked about Rosa's beautiful feet and the amount of attention they receive, but the high level of focus on foot care here is not limited to her alone. This is a very "mushroom-oriented" household............."mushrooms" being our own, very unique, inside joke-term for 'toes'. Ana, ( who is living proof of the adage: "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.")............. is also the recipient of regular foot care and has been for almost as long as Rosa.

When we all came together as a family and Rosa and I decided to live our lifestyle openly, Ana, who expressed an early curiosity and interest, was slowly and carefully given different 'privileges' as the 'Junior Boss'. And one of these was free access to a pedicure and foot rub. In fact, on my two posted sets of Rules of Behavior for each of my "Honeys", besides being shown proper respect and patience, and having the ability to impose punishment if needed, the only other "common ground" rule between Rosa and Ana is the guarantee of regular foot pampering.

Ana always seemed to enjoy the attention, even when she was more of a wise-cracking tomboy than the studious ( but still wise-cracking ) young lady she is now. She once told me that she used to occasionally rub her Grandmother's feet back in Peru and felt like the attention she was getting from me now was 'her turn' to enjoy a good massage. Back then, because she was a bit of a tomboy who was never girlie or vain about fashion or make-up, I used to tease her about her 'mushrooms' being 'monkey toes' and needing immediate attention to groom them into cute, human toes, more appropriate for the young lady she was growing into.

Another funny routine that resulted from all of this was an occasional, though on-going, Mother/Daughter mock rivalry. Depending on who was getting pampered, depending on the situation or mood, the current recipient would inform the other that they were currently the focus of attention in order to gloat good-naturedly over the other. For a while, Ana seemed to particularly enjoy letting her Mother know when she was in the middle of getting a pedicure, and Rosa would playfully overreact feigning jealousy.

Now Ana and I have a weekly 'us-time' each Friday morning (barring some change in plans) where we do our weekly behavior review, talk about whatever serious, funny, or personal issues that are of interest....... all while I attend to her feet, you can see from this recent, post-pedicure photo.....

......are definitely no longer "monkey toes"! In fact, besides being just like her Mom in enjoying a good foot-pampering session, she also inherited whatever genes result in having cute little pink 'mushrooms'. Truly, in so many ways......the apple REALLY doesn't fall far from the tree! 

Saturday, April 8, 2017

10 of My Favorite Things!

I spent part of this morning working on my Honey's feet. She loves any sort of attention directed at her "mushrooms", particularly what she calls "diggin' in".......which is using a cuticle stick to clean all around the nail. The end result is a picture-perfect toenail, that when trimmed and buffed needs no polish to look its happy, pink best!

I still remember the first time I saw Rosa's feet after I removed her sneakers in my car following a trek in a local park. As cute as they were then, after several years of nearly weekly grooming they least to 10 perfect pink cuties. She thinks her feet are not dainty enough to be "beautiful".....but maybe I'm just prejudiced in her favor. To me they are adorable!

One of our common 'rituals' on a weekend morning is me snuggling up to her feet while she drinks the coffee I make for her as she reads through her electronic news and messages. It's a 'little thing' but can be so relaxing and bonding for both of us....while still accentuating our roles. And 'yes' I spent some time doing just that this morning as well.......among other things.

(This is an actual shot from my phone taken this morning after a post pedicure massage.)

( Here's another. Just look how immaculate each nail is! I did a trim this morning, but after a couple of days growth Rosa's nails look like they were painted in a French manicure/pedicure style....with a crescent of even white atop a healthy pink nail. And as adorable as they look here, they are even cuter in person.)

Thursday, April 6, 2017


( A taste of Bangalore )

What can you say about a place whose very name sounds like an orgy ( Bang- galore )? It must be heaven on earth, right? Well here are some images of Bangalore that contradict the plethora of modern, uptown high-rises seen on the travel promotions (click here for more on Bangalore slums):

( Lovely, right? Who wouldn't want to vacation here? )

( For the right price you can even get a waterfront view!)

But forget the scenery..... what of these "women of Bangalore"?  Let's take a look:

( Sure it's a trip halfway around the world......but look what awaits you......for the right price!)

I'm pretty open to various body styles and even ethnicities, but I think even if had been locked up for a year, I would have difficulty with this. But let's keep looking.

( OK, That's a little better. She must be the "high end"? If I had an armpit hair fetish she 'd be my go-to girl. .................Are there no razors in Bangalore? )

( Oh my god, I guess not! )

( Well there may not be a lot of food or opportunity for the poor of Bangalore......but there's certainly no shortage of pubic hair!)

Which brings me to another point. While I might be disinclined to touch these women, the better off citizens of Bangalore have their own issues with "Untouchables" (and I don't mean the agents led by Elliot Ness). The way some people treat other human beings from their own country is criminal......and it technically is since "Untouchablility" was publicly outlawed years ago. However, the practice continues because the Hindu religion more or less advocates it. ( For more on Untouchables  ---warning, this may upset you. It definitely upset me and there are more articles if you keep looking.)

So stop flaunting the slick lit cities and the bounty of escorts awaiting me as a tourist and look to your own! Employ your 'escorts' in jobs that eliminate slums like the ones shown. If I want a woman to attend to me, I want one who is hungry for ME .......not a meal.

In conclusion, dear readers keep in mind this post is meant as a sort of sarcastic retaliation to the "Bangalore Escort Blogger Invasion of 2017". There are certainly plenty of attractive ladies in India, and some are downright beautiful.......but I don't like the whole concept of "escorts" in general, and particularly in places where being an escort is an opportunity to not starve rather than a genuine career choice.

"Will flash for food"

And given the way women are treated in India, I can only imagine the harsh reality of what it must mean to be an 'escort' in Bangalore. I have no wish to support such exploitation no matter how much it is washed, shaved, and made up. And I don't like spammers and trolls that invade my blog and those of my online friends to promote something as absurd as "Escorts in Bangalore". (How many of the people here do you really think will be visiting Bangalore anytime soon? If I want to immerse myself in Indian culture and enjoy the bazaars, cash&carries, and delicious food [ Lamb Rogan Josh anyone?] I only have to travel 10 minutes to Green St. & Oak Tree Rd. in Iselin instead of 7904 miles to India. )


Wednesday, April 5, 2017

The Appeal of Frustration

(Kami Tora again captures the expressions that make the cartoons so relevant.....but what's with those massive penises????)

As many of you already know, I need permission from Rosa just to pleasantly touch myself, let alone have an orgasm on my own. And depending on her mood (and mine) she can be generous or let be go on frustrated for long periods. Up until recently she had been pretty generous, giving me an "o" of some kind almost every week. But recently I have been denied for several weeks and have been given instructions to "tease" pretty regularly. As a result I am a bit more frustrated than usual.

Tease and denial 'play' seems to be appealing to couples with a power dynamic in place and that got me to thinking: Why?

As a guy, I have to admit even I enjoy the sweet torture of it all in a weird way. Yes, it is difficult at times and yes there are those times that you just want to be able to explode in orgasm......but being controlled this way has an appeal of its own, and the resulting frustration is the price of admission......even when the frustration is more than I would want.

But why is 'tease and denial' seemingly so appealing to women? And not just the woman in control.......those 'people in the know' in our lives who learn of the whole 'chastity thing' seem to vicariously enjoy my predicament as well. ( I was asking some kinky questions to one person in our circle and at one point asked: "If you could lock up someone you knew, who would it be and for how long?"  They replied that it would be ME for a YEAR! And this was someone who likes me! ) Marta has learned quite a bit about the practice and even saw me in one of my CB's. Nickki & Jean came VERY close to seeing me locked up that day Jean asked to go skinny-dipping. Another couple from my distant past saw me locked up a few times and never felt sorry for my situation.

Anyone who has found out about Rosa's 'key-in-a-locket' never decried the practice as cruel.....but all snicker in collusion. And I wonder if the genders were reversed, if that would still be true? It seems like this is one area of D/s that is a bit more gender-oriented with men being the favorite targets of denied orgasms. So what's up with the appeal for ladies? Is it the power alone? Or is it more complicated? And how does it translate to outside the immediate dynamic? (In other words, while one could see the appeal to the woman directly IN the relationship, why do women outside the relationship ALSO seem to enjoy it even when it doesn't directly affect them?)

It's interesting stuff and I'd love to hear from my Round Tablers on this one......and anyone else looking for a seat at the table!