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Saturday, July 29, 2017

A Proxy Once More

I don't look very feminine and I am not 'into' cross-dressing per se......but recently I tried to be a convincing proxy for a female friend of ours that Rosa was frustrated with. 

A few days ago I ended up in another proxy situation. But this time it wasn’t for Ana or anyone else in the household. Instead I became a proxy for a casual friend with whom Rosa also works, that I shall call ‘Lilith’.  And I did so without even the satisfaction of her being aware …...and thereby possibly being appreciative of my sacrifice. Now Lilith is very nice…...which is why we are friends. She has a good heart. But, she has a few traits, expressed mostly at work, that drive Rosa crazy. On several occasions recently, the once humorous vents from my Honey have taken on a colder and angrier tone.  However, one day while texting Rosa, she admitted that she was ready to kill Lilith and that her day was turning sour.

I have seen my Honey get like this and the last thing I wanted was for my time with her to be ruined over these pent-up feelings towards this other person. I had a thought and I just texted it out to Rosa: “I hereby agree to be her proxy. Keep track of all the stuff that annoys you and use it for when you have me over your lap later..>wink emoji< >heart emoji< >kiss emoji< “

Her reply? A succinct, “OK”.

And that’s what we did. As the day progressed I had a few ideas of my own to enhance Rosa’s ‘therapy’.....while also attempting to ensure that my experience remained appropriately punitive and not playful. As a willing proxy, that is one of my caveats, and one that Rosa fully understands and agrees with. If the punishment being given out is well deserved, then to be effective, it can’t turn into a role-play. Instead, I have to agree to basically ‘become’ the actual miscreant and take what they have coming to them no matter who it is. And for me to separate the act of being a proxy from other ‘over the lap’ experiences, I also need to feel I am getting what the other person deserves.

When we finally got to the event itself, I stripped and told Rosa of my first thought: in order to appear more Lilith-like, I would wear a pair of the most feminine and frilly pouch panties we own. They are bright pink and have a sheer lace flap barely covering the otherwise thonged rear. Once on, my male parts were totally hidden while a mere flick of that flimsy flap would completely bare my cheeks for punishment.  Lilith is very much into appearances and ‘girl-stuff’ and this just seemed a perfect symbolic connection to her. Rosa liked the touch. 

These are exactly the pouch panties we used. The billowy rear drape has this way of making my rear seem MORE vulnerable than when I wear something that is just open......and besides, it gets flipped up before the spanking starts anyway!

Thus attired I then listened to Rosa vent about Lilith for close to half an hour. She really needed to unload her feelings verbally, and since she went on for much longer than I expected, I became utterly convinced that she was taking this very seriously. The longer she went on, and the more annoying instances she brought up, the more I knew that this was not going to be pleasant. But eventually Rosa said all she needed to and suggested we get on with the punishment.

Before going over her lap I had two more things to add. The first was something that I don’t personally enjoy at all but made perfect sense for the situation on a couple of levels: I offered to use our special bar of ‘mouth soap’ as a sort of gag to bite down on during the spanking. 

When we first came up with the idea of mouth soap as an enhancement to certain speech-based offences, I refitted a box of Dove soap with some tongue-in-cheek labels....

....and even some 'instructions'........

........on the back of the box.

I have only had this done as a punishment a couple of times but we keep the bar handy as a reminder and threat. Since most of Lilith’s offences stem from what comes out of her mouth, it seemed perfect. I also wanted to again try to not be ‘me’ and thought that the soap would prevent me from making any noises that would sound like I was being spanked, thereby furthering the illusion that Lilith was Rosa’s target.

Finally, though I didn’t really need to say it, just for the sake of assurance of my consent, I told my Honey that I was ready to do this. I think I said something like, “OK Honey, I am going over your lap as Lilith, not me, and I don’t expect this to be fun. So just assume this is her and do what you need to in order to get this out of your system.” Then I got into position, told Rosa I was ready, inserted the soap bar as I felt Rosa flip up the little lace panty-flap, and waited.

Well, Rosa must have really needed this as an outlet! She became totally focused on me as Lilith and punished me enthusiastically. The spanks came in hard flurries as if Rosa was thinking about separate things and then punishing each one separately. It went on for a while and I had no illusions of being the subject of a playful romp. My butt got a thorough roasting as soapy drool dribbled onto a towel I had under me. If the spanking itself wasn’t punitive enough, then the soap certainly drained any possible enjoyment from the situation. I felt doubly chastised as my teeth bit into the yucky bar with each emphatic salvo. Eventually I was told to get up and quickly removed the soap and rinsed the foul taste from my mouth as best as I could. My butt was swollen and leathery.

Afterwards Rosa admitted that the session helped, but that she could see possibly needing another dose if things kept going the way they had been. I told her I would be there for her (or Lilith depending how you want to look at it). 

Recently we had Marta over and Rosa told her about the proxy session, and about how it was genuinely therapeutic for her. She even teased Marta that she could use me as a proxy if she ever had any anger issues with people she could not actually spank, saying it could be just as therapeutic for her! Marta seemed intrigued at the prospect.....and who am I to disagree?

Friday, July 28, 2017

Inside a DD Family (conclusion)

I had the opportunity to also talk to my youngest stepson ’Osito’ and asked him a few questions as well and got his permission to publish his answers. Several of the questions were similar to those I asked Ana. Osito is the youngest sibling and so he was probably around 9 when he moved in with me. He is a talented musician who can play an array of instruments and who writes his own music and does arrangements of existing work. Early on, Osito used to enjoy finding fun ways to get me spanked.....not as punishment, which even then he understood as a separate thing, but just a novel twist for 'play'. He said it was fun to be able to play a game he liked and have the bonus of me ending up spanked. I don't think there would be too many kids who wouldn't get a little mischievous kick of that.

Anyway, in getting back to the questions, I found in each case, his answers independently reflected similar feelings as those expressed by his sister…....which he was unaware of. The biggest surprise though was when I asked him if he thought that the serendipitous success of our open DD was rooted in me not being their biological father. I had always figured that maybe ‘mom spanking dad’ might weird a kid out more than ‘mom spanking her boyfriend’....but he clearly said that was not true for him. He said that it would not have mattered to him if this arrangement involved his actual parents, and that he still would have been OK with it. 

Then I went a step further and asked if the F/m angle helped, and whether he would have had an issue with DD if it was me punishing his Mom rather than the other way around. I was sure he was going to agree but again he surprised me and said that it wouldn’t matter. The biggest issue is the kids knowing ‘why’ the discipline was going on… other words, that it was a consensual agreement and not imposed ‘abuse’. But once it was clear that each party was content in their role then whatever happened was acceptable.

I pursued that point a bit about our situation specifically and he said that from what he has seen, it is pretty obvious that DD, specifically with his Mom using real spankings at times for punishment was something that genuinely worked on me.

I then asked if he remembered how he felt when overhearing discipline. Since, at the time, we also ‘played’ with spanking in the form of game bets and penalties for me, I specifically limited this response to the times where it was clear the spanking was for punishment. Osito said that his honest reaction was a sort of amusement of ‘someone getting it’, no different than a sibling’s reaction when a brother or sister is punished. He said that he NEVER recalled a single time that the sounds of a spanking ever made him feel uncomfortable or troubled.

I then asked him if he recalled any particular instance where he was glad that we had a DD policy in effect and at first he said he couldn't think of a specific one. But when I reminded him of an incident that I recall as being pretty powerful, he instantly agreed with me. Way back when Osito was only about 10 or so and new to the country, this home, and me, we were all out roughhousing in our pool. And having always been one of those dads or uncles who loved to act like a big kid and duck, and trip and throw kids around a pool, I made the mistake of going too far and doing one of those playful “Coppertone tugs” on the back of his suit (something I used to do with close family and friends all of the time in the past) only to have him become really upset. Well, while Rosa knew I meant no harm, she also wanted him to feel protected and instantly informed me that I would be spanked for that and to apologize. She even asked Osito for his recommendation on an appropriate amount…...which he promptly gave.  Osito admitted that hearing me get that spanking made him pretty happy we had a DD policy.

In conclusion, when asked about keeping DD a secret or living it openly, he said he thought that even though it’s not his thing, he preferred knowing what was going on and that knowing resulted in less confusion than had he just picked up little clues here and there.  

And this concludes my exploration of open DD (and even other forms of playful openness) with kids in the house. I think in our case the main concerns that most people have, that:

1: it's too sexually oriented
2: it's too scary for them, they would find it abusive
3: they would lose respect for one or both parents
4: they won't understand it
or 5: they themselves would prefer not to know,

have not been the case for us........and might very well not be the case for any of you out there considering it.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Inside a DD Family (Part 2)

As promised, here is the next installment in looking at the ramifications of living an open DD policy from the perspective of two kids, now older, who experienced it.

With this openly displayed on our kitchen wall, there's no secret as to how things get resolved when I misbehave!

The next section is a sort of interview with Ana as a follow-up to my thoughts on her initial essay. She responded to the written questions with responses e-mailed back to me. (Her answers are in orange.)

Me: -You mentioned having been confused at first about what your Mom and I were telling you about how we lived and resolved issues. Could you explain that confusion in more detail, and how you eventually understood things more clearly?

The confusion was that we did not know anything about what you guys were introducing us to. We grew up in a strict conservative household back in Peru so this was definitely way beyond anything we could even thought. We were confused about the meanings of the words too because we were still new to the country. C’mon, it is confusing for a person living here, what would you have expected from three religious foreign kids? We understood it a little bit more once it was explained, but even better as time went on because then we saw how things kinda started to work out. So seeing it first hand really took out the confusion.

-You mentioned that a more active role is 'not in your veins' least for now. But is that more about you, or your respect for your boyfriend's feelings? In other words, if your boyfriend wanted to be submissive to your disciplinary authority, would you then find the role....and the disciplinary duties it entails.... more appealing? Would you incorporate disciplinary spankings into your relationship if it was desired by him?

I do not see myself in a position that even if my boyfriend wanted to be submissive that I would take action. I think it just works out he is not, but his personality is close enough to submissive that I can still let off some power ......but just enough, and not to the full extent. I do believe it is a fun role and lifestyle but it does not apply to me, it is something I can talk about, personally connect with, and have actually experienced, but nothing more. 

- One of the things we have discussed before that may be of interest to readers is how you initially assumed that the 'punishments' I was getting were just a few slaps over clothes or pjs. Can you tell us how you felt when you found out that your Mom's spankings were actually pretty serious ordeals done with a hard paddle on a bare bottom?

When I found out, it was just a simple shock. It was not what I expected because on TV it is always over pjs, so since that was the only “source” I connected with at the time, that’s what I assumed. Finding out was more like, "oh wow! So it is not just one single thing a person can do here, it has its own diversity."  I was shocked, but then it did not terrify me or any of the sort. It was like "OH!....... okay cool."

-And on that note, you have sort of become the "Evil Princess of the Discipline Slip", routinely assigning very lengthy spankings as punishments......far more than anyone else. In fact, by way of  example, one of your most recent slips was for 666 spanks. Since you know what a punishment spanking or even 300 serious smacks would mean for me, you must have known what more than doubling that would mean. How do you resolve that knowledge with being an otherwise pretty nice person who likes me?

I do not mix the two. I do like you very much and you are a father to me. I respect you and even though you are a big pain in the ass,*  I do appreciate you and I am thankful you are with us because we are a family..... but that does not mean you do not mess up, and when you do, that is another matter. It is as if we were on a job. A job and family are two different things. So me giving you what I think you deserve does not take away from me liking you as person. 

*Ana's style of teasing.

-You mentioned in two places how living openly does result in more embarrassment for the submissive 'parent'......but that it was only natural, AND most importantly that in your case, your respect for the submissive partner was never diminished. I think this is a HUGE issue for people who are 'on the fence' about coming out to the family.....especially if the proposed 'openness' meant that the submissive partner's punishments, particularly spankings, were openly discussed, or announced and the resulting spanking, even while conducted out of sight, could still be easily overheard. What would you tell a concerned submissive parent to help them past this obstacle? Or do you think a little embarrassment is a necessary part of the whole punitive package and more in the head of the submissive than a huge deal for those overhearing?

I think that before openly discussing it, to judge their audience. It is part of the process to feel embarrassed. There is no way out of that unless the person is just very proud of themselves, which for them.... kudos. But otherwise, knowing that the family or the people you are coming out to respect you on all levels, and you believe this, (getting spanked) will not change their view .....( except for a few teases which are inevitable ) and then it is a huge help. It is hard enough to put oneself out there, but to do it and have a negative aura is the worst and leads to not wanting to do it again.

-In this regard, do you think that the roles of dominant or submissive transcend age and even relationship? In other words, let's say in your case, as a daughter who identifies with her mother's dominance, do you think that the submissive parent need not be ashamed of expressing that since it is who they really are? Kind of like the way the dominant parent still appreciates and respects their submissive partner even though they have no problem using their authority to keep behavior in check, the child of that dominant parent would feel the same way.........respectful of the person, but accepting of their need for occasional punishment? It's how I sort of feel here: on one level I'm still the person you all come to for help or advice, or support.....or even to have fun, but since you all know me, you can also see the side of me that benefits from discipline. Kind of like: "KDP is a nice guy and very helpful, but boy he can be impatient and irritable at times! We love having him around, but fully understand why our Mom spanks him now and again. He totally needs it." What do you think and is that what you meant about 'bonding' with your Mom over this?

I actually do not openly talk about this with Mom. It does not come up often, so we just bond over both of us having this same power in our personality, so we have the same demands. That is the extent of the bonding so far. There have been times we have been like,  "he should get it!"..... but not that many. The main bonding over this is more between you and me.

-I think some people might worry that while an overheard spanking might be embarrassing to the submissive parent, perhaps hearing such a thing going on would be disturbing and detrimental to the kids listening to it. Did you ever overhear a spanking and find yourself feeling upset by it? Did you ever worry that I was being abused in some way......especially once you knew how serious some of your Mom's spankings were? What were your thoughts when you heard a spanking going on? Did it change over time?

Honestly , it did not bother me and it is still does not bother me. There are times that I zone out, or do not even know or realize it's happening. I go about my day like if nothing was going on at those times. It does not disrupt my life, but when it is brought up in conversation in all seriousness, then I can say how I feel about it. But I have never thought you were being abused or anything, and the majority of the time you either deserve it or it's playful, so I do not have any worries. When they are serious, then my issue is with what you did, not the spanking. Besides...... to me,  it all sounds the same. hahaha

-Naturally another huge obstacle for DD couples being open is the fear or concern over the 'sexual overtones'.  Interestingly I talked to Ernesto about this and for someone who is not 'into it' he very lucidly explained that he is fully aware that a sexual element can be part of such a lifestyle, but that it is not automatic. He said he can easily separate spankings that are meant as adult foreplay from spankings that can be delivered for 'fun' as a bet or dare penalty, and also from those that are purely meant for punishment. What is your take on sexuality and an open DD policy?

I guess it is true because it is seen as more of a sexual pathway, but we are family so we have a line and limits, and know how not to cross it. We have established that even though we accept you guys choosing this lifestyle, that we do not for ourselves, and we do not want to feel uncomfortable................ so it just depends on the people and how they are able to separate the two. I think in this house, we are very good at it, and that is why there has been no trouble.

-Going back over the years, was there a particular event or issue that stands out in your memory as a particularly satisfying example of how domestic discipline practiced openly among family members worked (or works) in our home that would not have been as satisfying........ either without a domestic discipline policy................  or without it being practiced openly?

( Initially, Ana left this blank, so we talked about it. In reminiscing over some past issues, we hit on one that was memorable for us both that involved me teasing her and a friend she had over. It was meant in fun, but Ana felt very embarrassed and took it very badly, and I ended up getting a slip from her for it......for 999 spanks! (Plus a milkshake treat for both her and her friend.). At that time, a slip from Ana usually was in the 100 to 200 spank range. This was a big departure and one where she really flexed her authority......and Rosa supported her and the amount she chose without question. Naturally 999 smacks, spread over several sessions really made an impression on me and Ana admitted feeling pretty good about how that particular issue got resolved. )

-You mentioned that while this lifestyle is not for everyone, it certainly worked out well for all of us. What things in particular do you think are definite advantages to such a lifestyle.....naturally assuming everyone is content in their role?

I guess you get to let your inner feelings play out. You let them flow and feel in control or have the other person be in control of you. I think that is a major advantage because you get to live through your desire and give perks to your partner and experiment with different things without being judged. So it's like your fantasy is playing out in real life. 

-And along these same lines, what particular advantages has it been to you personally?

I guess for me it has been the fact that I get to call the shots on certain stuff. And it has taught me to have a better sense of perspective, and judgement for the person and well as enhancing my confidence, because I feel more confident to call the shots or express my feelings or ask for treats or something more now than when I did when we started this. 

So there you have it. I just want to thank Ana for the time and effort she put into this. The last installment will cover my stepson's view.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Inside a DD Family

As promised in the previous post, the following is an essay written by my Little Monster, Ana. The account was written by her at my request, but is (except for some minor editing) entirely her thoughts and words regarding actually growing up in a household that practiced FLR/DD openly. It is meant to offer information to couples who may have been debating the pros and cons of making their DD known to their kids.

Our DD household circa 2011. While rendered as 'piggies' the gestures and expressions are as accurate as if I took a photo! (Check out Ana with her arms folded and you'll see why I call her "My Little Monster".)

Ana's Story:

Okay, so I have known this lifestyle for some time and even though I have not personally incorporated it in my own relationship, I have experienced it really close. My brothers and I found out early on when we first came to the country. (I think I was about fourteen.) As far as I remember, I did not feel shocked but more confused. We were more confused on what exactly such a lifestyle actually meant rather than being offended in any way. I think it also helped that we liked (KDP) and we had a pretty good opinion of him, so we knew it could not be something horrible. I think that’s why it made for a good transition, and that’s a very important criteria when bringing up subjects like this to kids. If they trust you, then things will move more smoothly. 

I personally think that letting the kids know is a personal choice. I live in a very open household but not everyone is like that and it is totally understandable. But if someone does decide to announce it, then I think it just opens their family up to another choice of lifestyle from the million choices they already have or might consider. I didn't feel obligated to follow the path or to like it. My brothers do not particularly like it for themselves but they still accept it and are aware of it so it has not really shifted the direction of our lives. I think it is just the fact that we know about it, and now so does a great majority of society due to evolving as people and seeing it in social media more than it was seen before. Sometimes the only misconception is that there are more, and sometimes deeper options than are represented in social media. 

I also think being aware of the lifestyle could be a benefit in that a kid can feel that is okay to be different and to explore not only this lifestyle but other things. So I guess if I was in this situation as a parent, I would be open about it even though it might be a little embarrassing. Yet I wouldn't be embarrassed as much as the person being spanked, but hey, that would be another story. 

I have a close relationship with this lifestyle. I have participated before and I am still an influence now. It is a personal choice and I am okay with that. I can say that I have tried an active role and even though I love the feeling of being powerful, direct action is not in my veins, well….. at least not for now anyway. I have felt like I inherited my dominant personality from my mother. My mother has always been open, especially to me. She has given me limitless power when it comes to this, and at one point this was also a bonding activity. We are so alike that we clash a lot, but this became an activity we both could laugh about, bond over, and where we put our similarities together. I personally enjoyed it and I think that it was a blast. I think because my mother and stepfather both discussed it and told us together and it was not kept as a big dark secret, that it came out as a positive thing. It was a very open conversation and we got a lot of information, maybe too much at the time, but it was something to think about and it was a cool subject. I also felt a little cool myself, because I felt like I knew something “adult” that none of my friends did. So we took it as something beneficial rather than being petrified for life and that we needed counseling for or something like that. 

Also I believe it will always be something embarrassing for the submissive person, because as the submissive you are putting yourself out there no matter what. But since it is family, I think that at first is always harder than anything. Then it kind of dies down and the only embarrassment remaining is that little feeling only the submissive person feels, because everyone else has moved on with their own things……. unless of course they tease you here and there ( but I think that’s just attention being given.) 

Also, I did not once feel less about, or lose respect for, either party. I think that even if I did not agree, I would have not lost respect because whatever you may do personally doesn’t change your character. I think a person still is a person even if they like their own things. You still respect me, care for me, love me, and just for the mere fact that you are revealing something you have been into forever while remaining a good person at the same time, does not mean that all of a sudden I get to shut you out and think you are the worst person ever. Not everyone thinks the same way, and it is always a risk exposing stuff like this. That is why I get the being afraid or the insecurity some people worry about, but I think we got the best situation and it worked out perfectly. 

Who would have thought that expressing such a unique lifestyle to three kids, new to the country and who grew up in a religious strict household, and who just got to reunite with their mother, would be okay with it? Also it helps with being open in the house, since I feel like if one of us three were to be in this lifestyle, or if we were Gay, or Bi, or something different than the “norm”, then coming out would not be as scary as one thinks because we have learned from early on that it is okay to be different as long as you are happy and you aren’t stealing or hurting, or killing anyone. ( Except hurting the guilty party’s butt, but that is different. It is acceptable.) 

Overall, it created a great bond with me and my mom at a time when we needed it, and she guided me not only in her lifestyle but how to handle power and be strong in general. I can take action and I can be my own person when I want to. It also taught me about responsibility. She trusted me to make my own decisions and to use this power and authority how I wanted, and to give punishments as freely as I thought were called for. But with as much freedom as she gave me, she knew I was responsible enough to take it on. I learned a lot from her methods and even though we do not agree all the time, we are both the same. 

But it’s not just my Mom, knowing about this lifestyle has led to half and half bonding with both dominant and submissive partners. I also have a bond with my submissive stepfather, and we communicate a lot, and we discuss a lot. So I know the other end too, so when making decisions I try to see both perspectives and take it from there. So in conclusion, I think being open about it is not the worst thing ever, but to avoid major problems when wanting to be open, just choose your audience well… maybe taking a risk would not be as bad as everyone thinks.

Well, there you have it. I followed up this essay with some questions to flesh out certain points and that exchange will be featured in my next post.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Open DD

A few weeks back, Dan (of the Disciplined Husbands Forum) posted a subject near and dear to my heart: "Passing It On".....which dealt with how people felt about letting their adult kids be aware of the benefits of a DD lifestyle. Considering how strongly I feel about this, it might have seemed strange that I never commented. Well, there was a reason. In looking at some of the early responses I just felt compelled to approach Ana, who comments and contributes here when her schedule allows, and ask her to please reply to Dan's topic......even though she had never commented on Dan's forum before.

I lifted this cute retro image directly from Dan's post. I love the yellow.

Unfortunately, while she agreed, Ana was also in the midst of writing reports for her credited trip to the Amazon, and then started doing practice sessions for her upcoming DATs. Days slipped by with me almost pestering her to a point of annoyance until the entire week went by and it was too late. I felt that my own feelings have been expressed many times.....but who better to tell people what living in an open FLR-DD household meant for the kids there, than her? So without her post, I just remained silent.

But as time went on, my thought that such information from Ana's perspective could actually be of real help to anyone 'on the fence' grew more insistent and I asked her if she would consider just writing an essay on it for this blog. Ultimately, between persistence and bribery, I got her to write a rather revealing essay and followed it up with some interview questions. I also got to talk privately with my youngest stepson, whom I will refer to by his nickname, 'Osito', who also answered some of the more sticky points. So over the next couple of posts I will be exploring the issue of living a DD lifestyle in full knowledge of a household................from the perspective of the kids in one.....though they are hardly 'kids' anymore.

If anyone new here would like some background on our household beforehand, I refer you to the 'featured post' Background, linked in the right margin in web view. Ana and I are set to go over her essay one more time for revisions and clarity and then I will be posting it, perhaps as early as tomorrow.

Sunday, July 23, 2017


There are so any appealing and sexy expressions that can be conveyed before, during, or after a punishment..............but one of my favorites is the the look of mischievous pride on a spanker's face! 

Unfortunately, just as with most things, a really good shot of this expression where the victim is also shown, is fairly rare.

Even in real life, it is a fleeting moment that is hard to catch......especially when you are face down over a lap!

There are lots of photos of menacing disciplinarians posed solo, and even a good amount of smiling ones. But to add 'smug' to 'smile' is a subtle treat.

Still, while a perfectly captivating smirk of authority is powerful on a woman alone, I still like to see that look linked to the task at hand.

(Tell me this doesn't look like  the Andy Bernard character from 'The Office' )

One of the things that I see with Rosa when she is among other 'friends-in-the-know' is that smug little grin that pops onto her face whenever she finds an opportunity to warn me to behave. Or if I am walking around in my chaps after a spanking. Give a confident disciplinarian a receptive audience and how can she not beam a bit at her obvious power?

I would love to hear from any female disciplinarians on where a bit of "Spanker's Swagger" fits into their own attitudes.

After all, how can you not love a woman who takes such evil pride in her disciplinary duties?

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Green light

I had a nice talk with Ana today about all sorts of things as usual, and at one point we discussed the appeal of D/s situations where the submissive is punished unfairly. I expressed that I have an affinity for fiction where the victim is somehow ensnared and can't escape their fate, while simultaneously resenting real life situations where the same thing occurs. I also brought up the issue of being a proxy (something Ana and I have a good deal of experience with) and I mentioned a short anecdote that I recalled from a now-defunct site entitled "Maman".

With a little looking I found a site that is housing some of the old Maman* stories and actually found the exact one I was telling Ana about: "Over Mrs. Johnson's Knee" (click title for link). We discussed the notion of proxy and Ana very simply said she felt that proxy situations are "win, win, win" scenarios where every party benefits. She said the guilty party escapes a punishment, the disciplinarian still has an outlet for their annoyance, and even the proxy ends up getting what they sort of want. Her opinion is that voluntary proxies have their own reasons for offering themselves up and that despite getting punished.....even genuinely....they still receive a kind of satisfaction from it. 

As a proxy myself, I have to agree with her. But I told her that for a proxy situation to work for me......whether in fiction or for myself in real practice, the punishment the proxy receives HAS to be equal to what the guilty party would have gotten. The spanking can't be milder because an 'innocent' is receiving the punishment instead of the actual perpetrator. It's what I liked about the Maman anecdote. Mrs. Johnson apparently spent several minutes TRYING to talk him out of his proxy offer! But, once the kid insisted on switching places, she did not go easier on him. 

Ultimately Ana said that while she can address real situations, even though she knows she has the authority, she still prefers situations where the submissive party (in her case, me) provides some sort of 'green light' acknowledgement of guilt or complicity. She said that once she has that assurance, she is far more likely to recommend harsher consequences than she might without it. It made sense. I felt very similarly back in the days when I was switching and doing some Topping myself. A sub's willingness fed my dominance and provoked my darker inklings.

And as 'green lights' go, one of my curious frustrations has been the reluctance of some of the other sanctioned disciplinarians in my life to use their given authority despite encouragement........even if it just meant employing "Discipline Slips" the way Ana does. But there are other factors at work in those cases, so I suppose the issue is more complex than just acting on a 'go ahead'.

And on that note, let me leave you with a link to one of my own 'proxy stories' aptly entitled: "Proxy"

*Maman ostensibly received submissions from regular adult people who recounted supposedly true and memorable disciplinary instances from their own youth. Admittedly the writing is what you'd expect and there are certainly some stories that seem to be made up, but many have a familiar air of truth about them......even if they aren't elaborate or well-crafted tales.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Life isn't fair

Not too long ago I came across this old single image cartoon/illustration drawn by an artist known for his Boy Scout and book illustrations.....and despite the apparent unfairness implied, could not help but find the image mischievously charming:

If the narrative in the boy's non-verbal word-bubble is true, this young lad is going to get it from his Mom for actually trying to do the right thing. What's worse is that one of the consequences of his heroism has ensured  that the angry matriarch will have a bare target for her little martinet.

I am not sure why I enjoy discipline stories with an air of unfairness in them, but I do. And this quirk of mine is made more odd by the fact that I detest unfairness in real life. 

The past few days have been a collection of little injustices.....though none have resulted in an unfair spanking from Rosa. Still, I am a bit worn down from the relentless persistence of these episodes. Sometimes I feel like there are actually fates who actively conspire against us!

Anyway, I just thought that the theme of today's post should reflect the issue of unfairness, and to conclude I have decided to provide a link to a past story of mine that has a bit of unfairness as its central ....though mostly lighthearted theme. It's called "No Good Deed" and it contains M/F , F/f AND f/f dynamics of disciplinary spankings within. Enjoy!  (click here for the story)

Friday, July 14, 2017

Captions & Quotes

Today I am going to celebrate the fact that my Tumblr, "Caption Hell" .......

has managed to exist for quite some time without gathering more than a tiny handful of "likes" from just two people. In this day of the easy and almost reflexive use of  "hitting the like button"  for just about anything on social media, and the sheer amount of inane things that gather "likes" like televangelists gather the gullible, it is truly a testament to "Caption Hell's" apparent unlikeability to have escaped this fate! And that deserves recognition!

Since "Caption Hell" is all about online captions, quotes, and stupidity, I have decided that it's only appropriate to render this tribute in the form of Googled tidbits from the Internet. So without further ado:

We could ALL use a bit more fun in our lives. But when I cruise the Internet looking to be entertained or titillated, I sometimes encounter things so maddening that sometimes.......

And because.....

I needed to react. I tried prayer........

.....but it didn't work. (No wonder I'm an atheist.) So I thought.....

...and as a direct result, I created "Caption Hell" as a fun, coping mechanism. Now some might argue:

....and that may be true, but......

(and by "you" I don't mean YOU ).....unless of course, you are one of the people whose captioned image has been chosen for comment on "Caption Hell". In which case.....

.....but, if......

And considering the alternative, be grateful for snarkiness:

So in conclusion, here's a toast to the Amazingly Unlikeable 'Caption Hell'..... 

Thursday, July 13, 2017


Things have been a little tense here due to Rosa having been diagnosed with a fairly large kidney stone. The intruder wreaked havoc on my poor Honey's mood and system, causing her to be all over the place mentally and physically. She was scheduled to have a uroscopic laser bombardment on Wednesday......but managed to pass the stone on her own while at work on Tuesday. 

Tuesday evening she was a different person.....all relaxed and even playful, and as a result, she had me give her a celebratory pedicure (while wearing the KTB "spiked tube") and afterwards going over her lap for a stress emancipating spanking. She teased that if she was in pain for the last few days, I should suffer a little as well.....but it was all in fun......even if the spanking itself was lengthy and stung. But she wasn't angry and went slowly, though firmly.....especially towards the end. Afterwards she mentioned she might be giving me a few more as the week progressed, but so far I have just gotten that one.

an older pencil drawing of mine depicting an aerial view of a play spanking.

In other news, I am continuing to wrestle with an uneven mix of boredom, frustration, and even anger..... with 90 degree weather, politics, general stupidity, people determined to rip me off, and cruising the Internet. As a result, I have bounced between projects erratically, getting some things done while stalling on others. I have yet to settle on how to deal with this persistent and pervasive mood.

Friday, July 7, 2017


Remember 'elite' and 'elitist' may sound the same, but they mean different things.

"ELITE". I've been hearing this word a lot lately, and interestingly, it is never used as a compliment. Why is that? When did 'elite' become a bad thing? It used to mean 'the best of the best'.....a real distinction. So how did that one time honor suddenly become derisive? 

Like a new entry in Orwellian "Newspeak", to be elite now means to be an out-of-touch snob, mired in an intellectualism that obscures common sense. But frankly, that is just manipulation. What better way to capture the hearts of the stupid than to make intelligence a liability? It reminds one of how the 'smart kid' always got mocked by the jocks back in school. Now we've retained a playground mentality into adulthood.

I would think that no matter what one's views are, there is always something to be learned from listening to others. And if you are going to listen to someone, would it not make sense to hear from the best and brightest of that group? Even opponents of a group should appreciate debating with those who bring the most to the podium. But, no. Now it is easier to denigrate talent, expertise,and  intelligence than it is to take it on in a fair fight.

And 'elite' need not refer only to intellect. Any true expert is the elite member of any group. (I personally find it amusing that some of the very same voices who use 'elite' as a dig for some, fawn over military 'elites' Navy they were minor gods.) And if you want further irony, look at the net worth of the loudest voices decrying those other 'elites'. It's a stark lesson in hypocrisy. But as our country grows dumber, what better way to get the subliterate, science-fearing masses on your side than to pretend to be just as 'plain, regular folk' as they are? (even when you clearly are not).

Thursday, July 6, 2017

It's her again

A while back I posted a different picture of this model and asked if anyone knew who she was.....with no luck. Then, out of the blue, I see this shot of her that I've never seen before and where she is dressed differently:

I tried a Google search with no luck at all. I can't even seem to find out what company or studio it came from. I also saw another picture I never saw where she is dressed just as she was in the initial shoot:

I don't know what it is about her, but I find her very intriguing. Unlike some other kinky guys I hear from, I've only ever really been a 'fan' of very, very few kinky models...... like Kailee Robinson (and of course her sister, Lily) and maybe Joelle Barros. But being a model fan is not really my thing. It takes something the qualities of the young Bettie win me over to that degree.

Nobody can out-model Bettie, but I think I still look for similar 'qualities' in other models. 

I think I am a sucker for a model who somehow conveys a triple balance of innocence, mischief, and confidence........but maybe part of the appeal of this unknown young lady is her 'mystery'?

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Stars & Stripes Forever

making patriotism fun!

Well the July 4th holiday came and went here with a flurry of activity. We had different guests for nearly every day from the 1st to the 4th. And in the midst of it all, I got a double spanking for two genuine misbehaviors right on the morning of the 4th itself.

In Ulysses, Joyce has Bloom punished by some women with one urging the other to "write the 'stars and stripes' on it" (meaning Bloom's posterior). It was an expression that always stuck with me.  And this 4th, I got it pretty emphatically.....even though our punishment paddle left no stripes. Still, if my situation took the form of a cartoon, one might well see stars surrounding my reddened posterior.

Anyway, I have been busy and will probably continue to be, so updates here will happen as time and inclination allows. (Right now I'm not feeling too inclined either.....but I do like having the blog available for when the mood hits.)