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Thursday, July 20, 2017

Green light

I had a nice talk with Ana today about all sorts of things as usual, and at one point we discussed the appeal of D/s situations where the submissive is punished unfairly. I expressed that I have an affinity for fiction where the victim is somehow ensnared and can't escape their fate, while simultaneously resenting real life situations where the same thing occurs. I also brought up the issue of being a proxy (something Ana and I have a good deal of experience with) and I mentioned a short anecdote that I recalled from a now-defunct site entitled "Maman".

With a little looking I found a site that is housing some of the old Maman* stories and actually found the exact one I was telling Ana about: "Over Mrs. Johnson's Knee" (click title for link). We discussed the notion of proxy and Ana very simply said she felt that proxy situations are "win, win, win" scenarios where every party benefits. She said the guilty party escapes a punishment, the disciplinarian still has an outlet for their annoyance, and even the proxy ends up getting what they sort of want. Her opinion is that voluntary proxies have their own reasons for offering themselves up and that despite getting punished.....even genuinely....they still receive a kind of satisfaction from it. 

As a proxy myself, I have to agree with her. But I told her that for a proxy situation to work for me......whether in fiction or for myself in real practice, the punishment the proxy receives HAS to be equal to what the guilty party would have gotten. The spanking can't be milder because an 'innocent' is receiving the punishment instead of the actual perpetrator. It's what I liked about the Maman anecdote. Mrs. Johnson apparently spent several minutes TRYING to talk him out of his proxy offer! But, once the kid insisted on switching places, she did not go easier on him. 

Ultimately Ana said that while she can address real situations, even though she knows she has the authority, she still prefers situations where the submissive party (in her case, me) provides some sort of 'green light' acknowledgement of guilt or complicity. She said that once she has that assurance, she is far more likely to recommend harsher consequences than she might without it. It made sense. I felt very similarly back in the days when I was switching and doing some Topping myself. A sub's willingness fed my dominance and provoked my darker inklings.

And as 'green lights' go, one of my curious frustrations has been the reluctance of some of the other sanctioned disciplinarians in my life to use their given authority despite encouragement........even if it just meant employing "Discipline Slips" the way Ana does. But there are other factors at work in those cases, so I suppose the issue is more complex than just acting on a 'go ahead'.

And on that note, let me leave you with a link to one of my own 'proxy stories' aptly entitled: "Proxy"

*Maman ostensibly received submissions from regular adult people who recounted supposedly true and memorable disciplinary instances from their own youth. Admittedly the writing is what you'd expect and there are certainly some stories that seem to be made up, but many have a familiar air of truth about them......even if they aren't elaborate or well-crafted tales.


  1. I personally prefer complicity and a submissive who likes to be punished. I played with a bratty sub once and I hated the back chat and trying to get away . I decided that's not for me. I also hate when subs say I don't like punishment. Well I do and now your taking all the fun out of play. Proxy is not something I've done but I'm interested to go read your story.

    1. Welcome, Anna! You seem to be another proponent of a little positive feedback from a sub. It does make sense in the real world even if it ruins the fantasy of uber-confident Tops constantly imposing their wills.

      I hope you enjoy the story. Please feel free to visit the main website ( linked in the margin) for all sorts of goodies!

  2. A very interesting topic KD! A variation on the theme of the whipping boy in the old royal English court who would accept the punishment for the young Prince.

    I loved your "Proxy" many interesting twists. In the first half, I delighted in the FLR dynamic of Sophia and Frank's relationship that would require him to willingly accept punishment for Ally's mistakes as well as his own. I thought that in effect, he was being submissive to Ally as well as her mother. And he was quite accepting of his role in the household. I figured that was a perfect story. Then, in the second half, you managed to crank things up to another level of delight entirely as Ally gets to punish Frank for her very own misbehaviour!!! That is such a delicious turn. The way that the discipline slips are filled out and signed off on are also a nice tough. Well done. Reminds me a bit of your "Schoolgirl's Spanking" where Cindy finds conniving ways to make sure her mother's boyfriend gets spanked.

    I would be interested (intellectually, at least) in the idea of accepting punishment from a friend's wife for something that he did wrong. Even if that punishment wasn't physical, but involved doing chores or being grounded, etc. Intriguing concepts. Thanks for raising them in your post.

    1. Thank you, Strap! Yes, the 'proxy' concept is one I am very familiar with.....and to be honest, both "Proxy" & "Schoolgirl's Spanking" are different degrees on my little monster, Ana. The "Proxy" story was a more dramatic and fictionalized spin on an actual policy we had here for a while about a closet door (and light) that Ana had a habit of leaving open to both Rosa's and my frustration. But due to dynamics here, Ana's punishments were achieved through me being proxy. The intentional switching of the doorknob was pure fiction though.

      As for being a friend's proxy? If you are currently in a DD relationship with an open-minded spouse, and you have any friends 'in-the-know' who accept the lifestyle without actually doing it you may be just one short step away from making this happen. Your 'fantasy' may be more feasible than you might think.

      Lastly, I do hope you are aware of the link to the "Collected Submissions WEBSITE" versus this blog. The link is in the upper right margin if you are viewing on a laptop or from your phone in 'view web version'. There is so much there to see! Stories, art, cartoons, and even resin figures!

    2. Yes KD. I love your artwork, and I'm working my way through the stories! I am in a DD relationship, so perhaps I will someday make the proxy idea happen. Thanks.