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Thursday, October 5, 2017

Slips for Marta

As part of our mutual desire to ramp things up around here, Rosa and I discussed the idea of giving our neighbor Marta a small stack of "Discipline Slips" (the same ones used by Ana, and the same ones used for the 2016/2017 'Committee Spankings' ) in the hope that having slips might encourage her to be a bit more assertive with her authority.

an example of our Discipline Slips

Marta is a bit of a conundrum when it comes to DD. On one hand she seems to not only have no problem with it, but actually enjoy it. She cheerfully plays the part of "Lady Marta" at our RenFaire and relishes whacking the butts of the unfortunates who end up in her stocks. She has happily recommended significant punishments for me on several occasions and teased me about the 'end' results. 

Her handling of the 2016/2017 punishment was nothing short of amazing. She met with me privately and seriously discussed my behavior. She seemed to enjoy the situation, but didn't make light of it and instead looked to be very fair yet firm in evaluating my behavior and what the consequences should be. Those familiar with that situation and the posts describing it, know she came up with a significant punishment, understanding full well that her decision and recommendation would be followed by Rosa and what a spanking from Rosa means for me. And yet she decided on 480 smacks with our hardest paddle and even added that they should get progressively harder until the final 30....which should be 'very hard'. I did not put these numbers or conditions in her head. She came up with them as what she thought would be an appropriate punishment......and it was.  Later when, per her request, we visited her at her house to show off the results, she seemed impressed by the extent of the damage.....and while she teased me a bit, she never acted in any way regretful of her decision. Such self-confidence is a sure sign that Marta enjoys her authority, at least on some level.

But all of these past incidents have been initiated by us. And while Rosa and I have assured her countless times that SHE can initiate a punishment anytime she wishes, for ANY reason, Marta has never done so. But she always teases about it.

A while back I wrote a post about "green lights" and how even Ana.....who is a bit more confident as a disciplinarian than Marta, likes to have a solid clue or suggestion in order to prompt a slip. Rosa and I both see Marta as an ideal authority figure for me and we are trying everything we can think of to encourage her to be more aggressive.

Anyway, I just got off the phone with Marta and asked that she let me know when she might be available for a 'private talk' about a 'lifestyle issue' and she said she would. So at some point soon, she will be presented with the slips and our proposal.

I don't know if having the slips in her possession, along with our joint encouragement to use them as she wishes, will work. She may very well accept them and even appreciate the power bestowed upon her......and then never use them. Anyway, I am anticipating the meeting and curious to see what her reaction will  be. And as always, I will keep my readers informed.


  1. Please don't take offense at this, as I really don't mean to be adversarial, but is it possible you are trying to get a third-party to play a role in your life that she just doesn't want to play or has no interest in playing? I have one female friend who knows about our DD relationship, and I am glad she knows and she is very open to any lifestyle I want to have. That doesn't mean that she wants to be a participant in my lifestyle, and as open as she is about pretty much everything, I do think I would be crossing a line with her if I were to ask her to participate in anything related to our DD lifestyle.

    1. No offence taken, Dan. It's a valid point. And I can often be too enthusiastic about stuff, but that's why I always include Rosa in these things. She has a good sense for people's feelings.

      I also have to admit that the inclusion of third parties is a loaded issue......but such participation is a voluntary, adult choice and I have ample reason to believe that Marta is being more hampered by circumstance than lack of interest. (I don't write everything that has gone on here for many reasons, and some of the unwritten stuff would likely add weight to our feelings on her. But there are some privacy concerns that kept me from sharing everything.)

      Let's put it this way, I know if Rosa or I went to Marta right now and made a similar offer of inclusion as the old "melted plate" issue or even the "2016/2017 close-out" issue.....Marta would not hesitate one bit in immediately coming up with a punishment. She most likely would even want to see the end results...if not the actual event. But she, I believe like most people....Ana included, likes to have the idea presented to her rather than being what she might consider being 'forward' in suggesting such a thing herself.

      That's why we thought the slips might be a good idea. Rather than just coming up to us and saying, "hey, I think KD needs a spanking." which she would probably only do under very limited circumstances, she already has blank slips just like what she used for the 2016/2017 punishment. It would be a smaller step for her to use those same slips with the same rationales she employed in the past to come up with something on her own. And being in possession of such slips is a more tangible sort of 'green light' than just a verbal agreement......which is what we currently have.

      We both know Marta could easily express contrary feelings, but instead, she has repeatedly said that she would LOVE to be more involved if the circumstances were different.

      We will see.

    2. Got it. But, doesn't that still put her in a difficult position, because her circumstances are what they are, and they apparently mean she is not really free to participate in the way you would like her to without there being some negative consequence to her or to another relationship that is important to her? It's hard for me to have any opinion without more details, but it just sounds like there are things in her life that either make it such that she doesn't want to get pulled in more than she has or there is something or someone preventing her from doing so. In either case, doesn't it put her in a difficult position to try to pull her in more?

    3. Yes it does, but that is precisely why Rosa and I keep trying to find "safe" or "no hassle" ways that she can indulge a part of her that would be otherwise frustrated without crossing any major lines. But the decision to indulge herself a bit is still hers. And to be honest, we wouldn't be doing this just to force something down a friend's throat. We both feel Marta deserves to have some fun before she's too old.

  2. You obviously know the people involved and the dynamic between them, and I don't. I do know that if my wife told me I wasn't comfortable with her participating in something where another woman was involved and it was something that has at least some sexual overtones, and I didn't respect that, I would probably be calling a good divorce lawyer. Similarly, if the shoe were on the other foot and I had told me wife to steer clear of something with another man and I believe he was the one pressing it, I would be sure to bring him to a fulsome understanding of why that might not be in his best interests. :-)