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Thursday, November 30, 2017

Cultural appropriation

Where do you stand on this trending outrage?

Me? I'm all for it. I believe the best way for people to come together is to share elements of each others' cultures. Contrary to Mr. Trump's belief that making America great is rooted in keeping people out, I see the history of our country as proof that it is the exact opposite that has led us to our strength as a nation. 

But merely allowing people in is only the first step. A newcomer and their strange ways will always be alien......until those ways are woven into the overall fabric of who we all are collectively. Contrary to current belief this does not diminish the culture. Nor is it disrespectful. (though I suppose some acts of appropriation can be, if done with insensitivity or as intentional insults.) Still, even a clumsy imitation is still an attempt to assimilate something we appreciate.

 "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". -----Charles Caleb Colton 

As proof of my firm belief in adopting the practices of other cultures, I offer a look at our........

"Colonial" Christmas tree.

Prior to two years ago, Rosa and I had a "Zombie Christmas Tree" in our 'Green Room'.....decked out with Zombie action figures from various movies, shows, and games as ornaments. But last year we decided to do a "Colonial Christmas Tree" to match our Federal Period living room where we wished to now have our tree.

I did some research to get the details right, only to find that Colonists didn't have Christmas Trees! The Christmas Tree, as we know it, was introduced to Anglo-culture in 1840 when Queen Victoria and Prince Albert put up a Christmas Tree and an artist did an engraving of the scene. (read more)

Something new!

Prior to 1840, only families in Germany routinely used Christmas "Trees" (O Tannenbaum). Colonists used sprays of bay leaves, pomanders, and other branches, berries, and fruits as decoration. But when people saw Queen Victoria's tree, everyone wanted one of their own. And from England the fashion spread to the U.S.. 

So, while I continue to brazenly appropriate whatever I can from other cultures ( music, food, traditions, etc.) those who are staunchly opposed to "cultural  appropriation" can make their stand now........and throw out their Christmas trees!

Sunday, November 26, 2017

C 5

I have not written a story in about a year. However, about a month ago the LSF (linked in the margin) which also houses a lot of my work, ran another of their writing challenges. This time around the theme was "Revenge". As soon as I saw it, I rolled my eyes at the probable result: story after story of some slight that prompts retaliation directed at a woman's bottom.

I know that the vast audience of the LSF consists of mostly men....but a fair amount of women too, who are M/f in their leanings, often have no actual experience or outlet for their desires, and read spanking stories as a means to kinky satisfaction. Put more bluntly: guys go there to pull up a story and jerk off.

Given these conditions, my mischievous mind immediately began to ponder how I might write a story that satisfied all of the conditions of the contest in such a way as to end up as a work of some quality and yet offer no such sexual gratification and perhaps even piss off those who came looking for it. If you look at the poor showing, (I did not even place in the top 6 out of 49) and read some of the comments it garnered, you will see I succeeded.

The story is now available to read at my main website, but for convenience I have linked it here as well. It is called "C 5" (click to read) and it is essentially a M/f piece set in Victorian times. I also wrote it just around Halloween......but that is the only hint you're 
getting LOL.

I hope you choose to give it a try......unless you too are just looking for something to jerk off to. 

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Thanksgiving #2

I have about an hour before my guests arrive for Thanksgiving #2, and I just wanted to share how the table turned out:

Rosa and I are very pleased with it! And to give proper credit, the idea for the color scheme and theme was all Rosa's...... and the execution? Well, that was me. ;-) ( that's the nature of our collaborations in general!)

Here's a close-up of a single setting.

The funny thing about this is that the whole idea stemmed from our very lucky find of a full set of original Bristol china bowls, in perfect condition, for about $1.50 each! We are still very much on a budget and you would not believe how inexpensive it was to flesh out the entire setting. The only extravagance was the addition of the new scrolled metal charger plates........and even those were on sale for about half price!

And finish off the cooking and await my gang!

Friday, November 24, 2017

Fair is fair

In light of all the allegations of sexual misconduct flying around, the question of resignation seem to continually pop up. It's a valid question, especially when weighing the severity of the accusations, the believability (why does spellcheck think I keep misspelling this word?) of the accusers, and the record of the accused. One disappointing addition to the fold has been Senator (and former comedian) Al Franken. As a professed Independent, I suppose it is only fair that I address my feelings on whether Franken should resign.

For me, there are several issues at play here. One of course, is consistency. So I suppose that if we are going to adopt a "zero tolerance" policy towards any sort of sexual misconduct, then Franken, should consider resignation. But remember I did say this needs to be consistent, and given this: (link) I would suggest Franken submit his resignation no more than 24 hours after Trump tenders his own. 

But if Trump stays put? Well then I be fair.......Franken should stay put as well. (Besides, his effective grilling of people like Jeff Sessions has made me almost forgive him for doing that Stuart Smalley character years ago.......almost. Maybe if we give him more time, he can actually erase those painful memories?)

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who is going to enjoy the day with family and friends. I wish you and yours the very best of friendship and feasting!

And to anyone planning to go shopping today....................

.......I hope one day Karma allows for the folks forced to work today because you can't live one day without shopping to paddle you in a way you definitely wouldn't enjoy!

Wednesday, November 22, 2017


That's what I'll be starting today, but before I do, here are a few kinky-themed Thanksgiving images to amuse. (They are far too goofy to titillate!)  First, into the stocks with you!

Cute, but silly vintage nonsense. The only way the captive would be stuck in these stocks would be if she was holding her coffee cup and didn't want to spill any.

Only slightly better, the art here is well done but the lady's outfit is totally inaccurate. She looks more like a French Maid in a long skirt.

And now for an example of the oppression of Native Americans by whites. But wait....they are BOTH white! Hey!
Obviously being spanked for insensitive "cultural appropriation"....and for getting one's cheesy costume at "Party City".

Something for the M/f-lovers out there. Perhaps it was the swapping of partners that led to the tensions between colonists and natives later on? (Oh and I LOVE the "WTF? Turkeys" in the background and foreground.)

While you would think I'd love the bi-cultural, Femdom aspect to this, I have a personal dislike of the whole "gigantic Amazon/miniature male" fetish genre. I don't know why. I'm cool with other people enjoying these pictures of course, but I find myself actually feeling annoyed when I see one. The only artist that manages to pull it off really well is Namio Harukawa and I think it's because his size discrepancies are within the realm of believability.

Now off to start prepping! 

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

So what's on the menu?

Today I am going to be busy 'prepping' .....though not actually cooking for both of our Thanksgivings. ( We do one on Thursday and another on Saturday.) As some of you may recall, we like to do a mix of tried-and-true traditional dishes along with several 'historical recipes'. But that's just us*. In my experience,  I have seen, and been to many variations of the "Thanksgiving Dinner" .....often with strong ethnic influence.

But what about other influences? What would being a somewhat kinky person mean for a Thanksgiving? Take this guy for example. He's obviously leaning towards his own personal tastes:

I can't say I blame him on this one!

And here are a lady and a gentleman both offering themselves up as part of the feast:

A veritable cornucopia of deliciousness.

And this guy seems to have a secret agenda.

Of course, as we know from our past Halloween post, offering oneself up as the main dish can end up being a bit less enjoyable.............especially when it comes time for the stuffing:
The cook seems to be enjoying this way more than Ms. Turkey.

And here we have a 'live' take on the notion, only here Ms. Turkey seems a bit more accepting of the process.

I must be a real sicko, because despite the rigors of being stuffed, gagged, basted, and bound, as long as I wouldn't be cooked and eaten, but just serve as a very kinky centerpiece..............there's an exhibitionist part of me that envies theses young ladies:

Call me incorrigible, but I LOVE this shot!

Tell me those white turkey frills aren't adorable!

However, in looking around for images, I did come across a bunch where the dinner prep does not end with mere presentation:

As a gag photo, it's a bit cute.....but the thought of a person being cooked for real has always upset me very much. It is one of my main phobias of sorts.

So when it comes to the actual cooking and dining, I think it's best if we stick with turkeys. It seems some of them are downright eager:

Who could resist an invitation like that?

*For a look at our exact menu for both days, just read on:

Thursday will actually be the simpler of the two feasts, with the traditional turkey, stuffing, corn & clam chowder, sweet potatoes, corn, carrots, mashed potatoes, and fresh bread.

But Saturday is the more 'historical' meal which will repeat all of the above plus: rare duck breast medallions with a raspberry chipotle sauce and a venison stew. Game meats and seafood were a huge part of early Colonial diets although I do like to put a couple of modern spins on some of these traditional staples. I am toying with an idea of my own using some venison sausage as the base for a meat stuffing with dried cranberries, but I'm not 100% certain I will do it yet.

The authentic Colonial dishes from the late 1700's will include mussels in a spiced cream sauce, East India soup (made with consomme, apples, and curry), iron skillet baked cranberries, and mulled cider. 

Going back a bit further, we will have stewed pumpkin......a simple dish from the 1600's. 

And there you have it! 

Monday, November 20, 2017

Spanked because of socks?

That is what happened to me yesterday, but unlike the fellow in this picture, it wasn't because I was wearing them. (What up with those socks anyway?)

I also didn't get away with some silly hand-spanking. Rosa ALWAYS uses an implement!

Socks? Well it was because I had put two pairs of sport socks on the seat of my small boat in the driveway to 'dry out'. Reasonable, right? The only thing is I think I put them there sometime back in August and they are still there. Rosa hates stuff like that......but she wasn't seriously angry.....just irked.

However, after the more lenient 'socks spanking', she took a short break with me over her lap before delivering a second, more intense spanking for some past instances where I annoyed her last week with my comments and attitude. That one was a stinger!

This morning Rosa said she was thinking about the spankings and feeling like she was definitely missing out on something she enjoys by not having spanked me sooner. 

Friday, November 17, 2017


Several blogs will be celebrating "Love Our Lurkers" today and tomorrow and I have nothing but praise for their doubly generous natures, in that these folks not only devote their time to maintaining great blogs, but also have the charity of heart to "love" their lurkers. I wish I felt that compassionate.

According to an online dictionary, this is the definition of lurking:

gerund or present participle: lurking

(of a person or animal) be or remain hidden so as to wait in ambush for someone or something.
"a ruthless killer still lurked in the darkness"
synonyms: skulk, loiter, lie in wait, lie low, hide, conceal oneself, take cover, keep out of sight
"is someone lurking in the bushes?"

(of an unpleasant quality) be present in a latent or barely discernible state, although still presenting a threat.
"fear lurks beneath the surface"


read the postings on an Internet message board or in a chat room without making any contribution oneself.

You have to admit it's not very flattering. I'd be embarrassed to have such a description connected to me.....but then again I grew up with a sense of pride versus shame. I thought there was an even more concise definition for the internet aspect of the word: 'online freeloader'.

Over the years I've been doing "Collected Submissions" I have posted several blurbs on my frustration over how difficult it is to get comments. And although I've bemoaned this issue before, one particular incident has really left me cold, and that was the disheartening lack of comments from all but my most loyal of visitors when Ana posed for the Halloween foot photos. I guess I could handle my own lack of feedback better than when it reflected on someone I care about. I know I can be controversial and snarky, but who couldn't appreciate the charm of those cute little scenes? Obviously most of you.

In their defense I have heard lurkers explain, "but I have nothing to add."  That can be true at times. Not everything is going to trigger a response. But if you come here regularly, you must be finding the blog to be of some interest. And since the blog is clearly intended for "thinking deviants", you have ample opportunity to demonstate that you fit that criterion.

I have even seriously considered making this a private blog with access for select people only. (Of course those people would be the ones who participate even if only occasionally. After all, I'm not complaining about frequency, but about lack of any input at all.) The only thing that has kept me from doing this is a naive hope that by leaving the blog open, I may yet attract some additional insightful participants. 

And so today rather than love my lurkers, I want to express my gratitude first to my "regulars" (you know who you are) and say that without YOU......I probably would have given up long ago. So thanks! Sincerely and gratefully. 

Next to those who have left even a single comment: thank you as well. I hope you find a topic in the future to prompt you to participate again. And if there is a reason that you don't comment anymore.....let me know, either on the blog or by e-mail. 

And so, without any disrespect to those celebrating "Love Our Lurkers", may I end with my version:

Because everyone else is just like Red Skelton's  famous "Freddie" ........

.....though perhaps not quite as amusing.

I realize a post like this may offend some visitors enough that they decide not to return......but you know what the irony of that is? If a person is a devout lurker and instead of stepping up and joining in, they decide to never visit again............I won't even be able to tell.

Thursday, November 16, 2017


In looking through some older stuff, I came across this drawing I did back in the 90's:

I called it, "Chain of Command".

The notion of a BDSM group hierarchy is not uncommon in kinky stories. And the genders of the three people involved can be as different as our tastes, but for me the crucial element has to be that there is a clear chain of command that does not waver. There is a Top who is dominant over everyone, a sub, and a 'switch' who is subordinate only to the Top but dominant over the sub.

Since psychology in dominance and submission is such an exciting element to me, I have often pondered the various permutations and combinations of this arrangement. For my own tastes, the Top is never male, but he can be the switch. Still, I prefer fantasies where, like the drawing, the male is the sub, or where all three are female.

In the past I have pictured fantasy scenarios with people I know and challenged myself to imagine what it would be like if X was my Top and then Y topped X. Plugging different names into X & Y resulted in a myriad of emotional responses in me......from exciting to disturbing. Sometimes if I knew someone who came off as decidedly submissive, I might imagine myself in the middle of the chain, but more often than not, I'm at the bottom. For a kinky mental exercise, it can be interesting and fun to ponder.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

More to life

Where does ‘kink’ fit into your life?

Is it one spice in your cabinet of flavors? Is it ‘who you are’? Is it an unfulfilled desire whose frustrating absence  leads to obsession?

The reason I ask these questions is to point out why “Collected Submissions” often includes non-sexual topics. You see, for me, ‘kink’ is who I am and I am pretty much ‘out there’ to family and friends. As such I wanted to have a blog that was designed to be a place where people who identify as “kinky”could come and talk like adults and not have to self-censor their more non-vanilla tastes. The idea was a fellow lifestyler might make a comment that dealt with some social issue and include a reference to their lifestyle practices as example, without having to worry that ‘no one would understand’. So the idea was that we could certainly share experiences and advice that directly relate to the lifestyle we enjoy, but that we could also talk about other things with the understanding that we were doing so in a kink-friendly environment. It would be a blog/microcosm of life itself; titillating stories and images one day, personal anecdote another, an exploration of an adult theme on yet another, and maybe end the week with a rant over the state of society or political arena.

The very title “Collected Submissions” contained the tagline: “kinky stuff for thinking deviants”. The key word there being “thinking”. This was never meant to be a destination blog for guys looking to jerk off. There are plenty of other places for that. Nor was it meant to be 100% kink …...mainly because who among us as people IS 100% kink every minute of every day? How boring would such a life be?

The deck, arbor, pond, light, path, and garden that wouldn't be if all I did was recover from one spanking while awaiting the next. But which is not to say that I haven't been out in this garden with my hot, sore cheeks poking out of my denim chaps! It's all a balance. And if I'm going to share the story of the spanking one day......I may share what was currently in bloom on another.

I am who I am. I live a kinky lifestyle. But I also do projects and ponder other issues besides what spanking implement hurts the most. And this blog hopefully does…...and will continue to…...reflect that. ( Even if others might prefer otherwise.)

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Year 'round vacation

As part of my discussion on juvenilization, today I'm going to look at how our tastes have shifted as a society from things that demand some thinking during the major part of the year to a kids' vacation mentality in now retaining a Summer Vacation mentality all of the time. In the following linked video, Bill Maher does a great monologue on this. The only difference is that he attributes this phenomenon to stupidity whereas I think it is less about stupidity and more about a juvenile attitude that has replaced the responsibility, mental challenges, and mature tastes of adulthood with less demanding, childish ones.

Maher doesn't even go into the issues of tastes in food and drink, but you'll get the idea.

It is pretty obvious that a kid who wants to play isn't terribly interested in deeper thoughts and debates on serious topics. (Just ask any Grammar School teacher.) But once we all got older, like college-age, we lived for all-night discussions about everything from philosophy, to religion, to tearing apart great literature. 

The current state of conversation is sad. Adults have no idea anymore on how to discuss something logically, with some cleverness, and without leaving the discussion angry. It was once civilized discourse. the banter of the parlour. Now we are a bunch of toddlers stomping our feet as validation of a position. 

We've even elected a child as President.

Music also used to separate generations, now moms and dads who grew up on Disney and Nickelodeon, can listen to their 'grown-up' childhood stars singing as 'adults' along with their kids. Go into any store and you are bound to hear some sappy Taylor Swift song and see some 40+ woman singing along with it. 

We've "Disneyfied" adulthood. Times Square is like a New York slice of Epcot. Broadway.....which used to be where great playwrights debuted their now home to stage musical versions of past Disney Animated movies. You didn't get tired of endlessly popping the "Lion King" into your VCR? Now you can pay to see it on stage.

Remember when adults relaxed with their friends to 'play a game'? Cards were very common. If you were a gambler, there was Poker, and if your tastes were more strategic, there was Bridge. Not a card player? Adults could also be found playing Scrabble. And let's not even get into Checkers and Chess.....both very strategic games each appealing to a different audience. How about Backgammon?  Trivial Pursuit?  Now you see adults playing video games.....even mind-numbingly insipid ones like Maher mentions that you see adults  playing on their phones. (And I get it. They can be fun. I've done it too.....well not the phone ones, but I have enjoyed blowing off steam shooting zombies in Resident Evil.) But just like Summer Vacation, they aren't something that should permanently  supplant more demanding recreations. There are even coloring books for adults in every craft store. (Remember when an adult might take an art class?......or hell, even watch Bob Ross?)

Oh for a 'happy tree'!

Even religion is not immune to this phenomenon. Thomas Bergler has written about how this same trend has infiltrated Christianity. (link) I am not a religious person, but I did grow up seeing this around me when I used to attend church.  And it would make sense that once a society reverts to a childish mentality, that besides the things I've already mentioned, it would affect spirituality as well. It seems like a lot of Christians are taking Mark 10:15 very literally. "Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

I've discussed this "Juvenilization Phenomenon" with my family and friends and they admit they have seen the same trends. We tried to figure out why this was happening and one theory that surfaced was that we no longer revere old age. In fact we are terrified of it. We hide our elderly, hoping they die quickly somewhere out of sight. And through plastic surgery and childlike mentalities we journey back to Never Never Land spurning anything that might make us "look old". We hate the inevitability of aging and worship youthfulness. The trouble is that while it is a healthy and smart goal to avoid growing old, especially mentally.........that does not mean we should not grow UP.

( Next up we will look at the growing interest in Big/littles, and adult babies.......the sexualization of juvenilization.) 

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Not kidding....

.....about that earth-shaking 'O' putting me in a hyper-productive frame of mind. Here is what crazed motivation can result in. 

A while back, Rosa suggested that we eliminate our current, clunky, free-standing liquor cabinet with a corner unit. She had a preference for the styles of wine cabinets you can find at places like Pier 1 that have the wrought iron doors. Since we don't drink much wine, and those cabinets are made of inner wine racks which are unsuitable for standard liquor storage, we realized we would have to find something with shelves. (The other problem was that those wine cabinets run in excess of $1000!

Finding a cabinet of the right dimension, with a wrought iron door, in the right finish.....and within our price range, proved frustrating. So I just said, "why don't I just make one?" 

We found a decorative wrought iron 'door' (really a wall-hanging) at Wayfair that with re-working seemed suitable, and I drew up a scale diagram for the cabinet itself. Here is what followed:

I cleared out the space and drew a perfectly vertical guide line on the wall.

I wanted a design that would leave the brick exposed as part of the inner 'walls' of the cabinet. This one uses screws and wooden peg dowels for stability.

It was starting to really come along.

One of the things I did very differently from previous projects was to design the unit so that it could be taken apart, stained & varathaned, and then re-assembled like a pre-fab unit from an IKEA. So rather than join the edges, I came up with a sandwiching technique that held the front panels on with unseen screws. Once everything was all finished, I assembled the unit into the corner. If we choose to, we could easily take the unit apart, and rebuild it anywhere, and it would still function as a cabinet.

All finished.......except for the handle which is on order. 

And here it is filled with our booze. I arranged everything by type and quality, using the notion of "top shelf" literally for the best, 'you better not use these in a cocktail'-quality liquors. (You can see the single malt scotches on shelf #2. Shelf #3 holds the cheap mixers. #4 has the flavored liqueurs and herbals. The bottom shelf has some random stuff. (It is the only shelf that can only accommodate shorter bottles.)

So, see what a powerful 'O' and a love of booze can lead to? 

Friday, November 10, 2017

"O" Update

As I said in my previous post, my series on Juvenilization is not going to run uninterrupted. I will be posting other things in-between. And today I'm just going to share a quick update on the interesting conclusion to my long period of denial. 

A few days ago I confessed to Rosa that I was really hoping for some attention and we agreed that I could have some fun.............directed specifically in a certain favored location:

The catch was I would have to stay locked. Well, it was a very intense experience and given my state at the time, I felt like I was getting close to orgasm even without any stimulation to my locked-up parts. I asked for permission and seeing my very real frustration, she relented.......provided I was able to orgasm with the CB on!

The funny thing is.................I was!

Then about a day or so later, I was still feeling pretty horny. (One stimulation-free 'O' while in a CB, after well over a month of denial, just didn't fully satisfy. It was more like an emergency venting of a pressure valve.)  I asked Rosa if we could play a game where I kissed her feet while she edged me repeatedly with an electric vibrator we have. She agreed. I lost count of how many times she stopped without me reaching orgasm before I asked when she was finally going to let me have one. Her answer surprised me, "you're not getting one."

Rosa's pretty (and tasty) feet.

I was stunned because I thought we had previously agreed that was how our game was to end, so I did something I rarely do...........I begged her for an 'O'. Seeing how desperate and serious I was, she mercifully agreed. After all that edging, I was super-ready and when she finally kept the vibrator in place long enough for me to orgasm? Well, all I can say is:

Definitely a "Top 10" experience. I felt drunk and dizzy afterwards.  And now I have been in what we jokingly refer to as 'lumberjack mode' .....where I just get extremely productive and project-driven. The long wait was worth it......both times!

Thursday, November 9, 2017

The Death of Craft Beer

[ Over the next few days, but not in sequence, I will be exploring a societal phenomenon that I am not the only one noticing. It is "JUVENILIZATION". It is the tendency of today's 'adults' seeking out experiences across the spectrum with the tastes of children. It used to be that.......1 Corinthians 13:Verse 11. "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."  But no more. No need. Like Peter Pan, people seem to be determined to remain children forever. This phenomenon touches everything.....but to begin I am going to discuss]

When I was 18 (and legal to drink) you couldn't even find a craft beer. But even at that tender age, I knew there had to be more to life than Budweiser! My friends and I then embarked on a journey to try everything we could find and just as we were discovering more options, the phenomenon of 'micro-brewing' came into its own.

So many choices!.....or at least there used to be.

Initially craft brewers took to their trade with an eye towards rediscovering the classic beer styles of the past....and a taste for perfection. While there are others, the three biggest cultural genres are: German, English, & Belgian styles. Within those three are the main beers that have been around for centuries.

While there are many, the main German beers are lagers, pilsner lagers, weiss (or wheat) beers, & fest biers. The English beers are primarily 'ales', ranging from pales & bitters, to browns, porters, and stouts. Belgian beer is in a class by itself with recipes originating in the 1100s in Trappist Monasteries.....with many still being made there. There are abbey styles ranging from singels to dubbels to tripels......even quadrupels! And then there are the whites, lambics, and sours. 

Now there are many more as I said, but to do these well takes talent, and for a LONG time that talent was out there in force and delivering a cornucopia of deliciousness. Then people happened.......and did what they've always done......they fucked it up.

How? By being driven yet again by novelty and sweetness rather than rich.....but adult flavors. The craft beer market now is dominated  by two trends: the IPA boom, and the pure "what weird flavor can I stick in my ale"-novelty sensation. 

I can't complain about the IPA boom because I do like a good IPA......but even the English who invented it (for their soldiers stationed in India) still enjoyed a bitter, porter, or stout now and then as well. But at least IPAs are solid, adult-tasting ales that are being made in many wonderful variations. But try finding a good, solid pale/bitter.  Yes there are still some good ones......but instead of getting easier to find, they are getting more and more rare. 

Now.....try finding some fucking pumpkin, blueberry, grapefruit, cranberry, pomegranate thing and you'll have them everywhere. It used to be that around Halloween, someone would put out a pumpkin ale. Fair enough. Not my thing, but I understood. Now? Almost half the aisle is filled with pumpkin ales! But, try to find a nice, brown. Yes, there are still a couple out there, but not nearly as many as those fucking pumpkins! It's enough to make a beer lover cry....(and I have).

Yesterday I called the River Horse Brewing Company, formerly of Lambertville, NJ, and now near Trenton, to bemoan their discontinuation of what I thought to be the perfect "everything beer". It was called "HopHazard" and it had a nice hop to malt balance making it ideal for year 'round drinking. It was also the perfect "party beer".......being just the right touch of flavor, gravity, and alcohol content to please most anyone. I would buy it by the case. 

The woman I spoke to was very nice and agreed with my opinion of the variety, saying it was also one of her favorites, buuuuuuut.......trends being what they are, even though the brew masters loved doing traditional styles, they found from a business perspective that other more novelty-driven styles were doing much better. Novelty. 

What is it with the general public and 'novelty'? Societal ADD? Lack of any understanding of things of substance? I don't mind people pursuing what they long as it doesn't affect me.......but this has. So please.........if you want to drink something sweet and fruity, please do so, but stop trying to pretend you are a sophisticated craft beer consumer when you are just looking for something more apropos of a soda bottle. 

Beer is for big people.

How Coors Lite is made.

A Heiney in a hiney.

Best use of a Corona I've seen.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Stupid Spellchecks

Pet peeve time!
Yes, but who spanks Spell-check ?*

I appreciate Spell-check features...............most of the time. But for a long while now I have been silently grumbling to myself about the growing number of times that an accusing and glaring red underline pops up, and I scratch my head at the indication that what I thought I spelled correctly is wrong................only to search the word and discover to both my relief and annoyance, that I spelled it correctly the first time!

I like having spell-check on because I am fully willing to admit that I'm not perfect. Sometimes I make a spelling error and more often I make a typo that spell-check will point out to me. But what the heck is up with these false accusations of mistakes where there aren't any? 

I have noticed that they most frequently occur with scientific, technical, or other terminologies common to a particular discipline, but seemingly alien to spell-check. However, I have on occasion noticed that even words of a slightly more obscure bent, or just indicative of a higher than Trump-level vocabulary also prompt spell-check to assume an error when there isn't one. Essentially it seems that Spell-check is a lot like those meticulous but pedestrian people who often end up being inspectors........thorough and relentless, but not too bright.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not about to turn off the feature......but I have learned to not take it as seriously as I used to. I DO wish there was a way to have a little disciplinary retaliation whenever I am falsely accused of making a spelling error. 

* [ edited to add that while I chose this cartoon because of its connection to Spell-check & also spanking......I should admit that cartoons like this are NOT my cup of tea. I have seen SO MANY "boss spanking secretary" cartoons over the years and they all make me want to scream. I used to be an HR Manager. Anything even remotely like the situations depicted in these cartoons would result in these secretaries practically owning the company! And even if I tried to forgive the older ones, THIS one mentions "Spell-check" which puts the time frame well within 'lawsuit territory'. ]

Monday, November 6, 2017

Surprise visit

Not long after I posted my "Don KDPierre" post, I was confronted by a representative from PETA's "Deceased & Eviscerated Animals Division" or "D.E.A.D.". I don't know how she got into my house, but she was clearly not amused by my "Godfather"-inspired photo featuring a decapitated horse skull. I tried to explain it was just a joke, but she would have none of it. I apologized and asked if I was in any kind of legal trouble and she told me that despite the dedication of the members of D.E.A.D., there was no legislation protecting skeletons......especially plastic ones, but that they did have a policy of their own in effect to handle situations such as these, adding that she was certain I'd find it far more convincing than a fine:

For a skinny gal, she spanked pretty hard.

Friday, November 3, 2017

Ana in the spotlight!

As special treat for you all: HALLOWEEN FOOT PHOTOS featuring the one, the only, the awesome MS. ANA!

(Ana was very gracious and patient as my foot model......after her cup of tea and pedicure of course, so please be kind, generous, and encouraging with your comments. My Little Monster loves attention, and if you want to see her do more things like this, a little positive feedback.......or a LOT of it, will go a long way.)

So without further ado, I give you the star attraction of today's blog, Ana and her feet!

Tell me this isn't an awesome image!

Or this?

What a lucky guy, right?

Oh, it looks like the temptation was too much for him.

But a good Dominant knows how to get a guy back underfoot where he belongs.

Treats? Given a choice.......???????

A little wine?

Who could resist being served a glass like THIS?

Toes that are both cute and dexterous!

Ever wish you were a spider? Bet NOW you do!

Creepy cloth.....but cute toes.

Any takers?

I just want to end by thanking my Little Monster for modelling for me, and in turn for all of us. I wonder if in a few months a Google search of "Cute Halloween Feet" results in these images popping up?

(And THAT concludes my Halloween Foot Theme. I hope the surprise ending was worth the wait.)