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Thursday, November 16, 2017


In looking through some older stuff, I came across this drawing I did back in the 90's:

I called it, "Chain of Command".

The notion of a BDSM group hierarchy is not uncommon in kinky stories. And the genders of the three people involved can be as different as our tastes, but for me the crucial element has to be that there is a clear chain of command that does not waver. There is a Top who is dominant over everyone, a sub, and a 'switch' who is subordinate only to the Top but dominant over the sub.

Since psychology in dominance and submission is such an exciting element to me, I have often pondered the various permutations and combinations of this arrangement. For my own tastes, the Top is never male, but he can be the switch. Still, I prefer fantasies where, like the drawing, the male is the sub, or where all three are female.

In the past I have pictured fantasy scenarios with people I know and challenged myself to imagine what it would be like if X was my Top and then Y topped X. Plugging different names into X & Y resulted in a myriad of emotional responses in me......from exciting to disturbing. Sometimes if I knew someone who came off as decidedly submissive, I might imagine myself in the middle of the chain, but more often than not, I'm at the bottom. For a kinky mental exercise, it can be interesting and fun to ponder.


  1. we also like the dynamic / fantasy of a hierarchy of who can dominate me. Our friends can but my wife trumps them. We fantasize that mother in law would know and being older she could / would trump my wife.

    im guessing you have similar hierarchy with the various family and friend escapades

    1. Great questions since I wrote this before things with Nickki really kicked in. Now? I think my two part post on Four Bosses kind of answers this more completely. Rosa is definitely the Queen Bee with me, but surprisingly Ana, and not Nickki is really the person I see as next in command. She wields enormous influence even though she herself is not interested in spanking but prefers to just order them. Nickki would be third and it is potentially a solid third at that. The difference is I am cautious not to offend Nickki and certainly fear her spankings but I don’t feel she has the same level of authority as Ana. Ana is more than just a kinky playmate though she is that at times too. Ana is someone I trust enough to obey out of sincere recognition of her abilities to lead. I might obey Nickki to avoid incurring her wrath but Ana I just obey, period.