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Thursday, May 3, 2018

Interruptions and DD

Have you ever known someone who seems to get cut-off speaking more than others? I do. I'm even guilty of being one of the interrupters. It's my Honey, Rosa. 

Now I've wondered about this, discussed it, even researched it and found out that a lot of factors go into making a particular person more susceptible to being cut off. And in looking at them I have to admit, Rosa is a 'perfect storm' of many of them: she is not from this area, English is not her first language, her speaking style includes longer pauses than a NJ person is used to, and in a group she is usually the most timid and speaks less frequently than most everyone else.

I have brought this up to my family and they are just like me. They realize it happens....a lot.....and also admit to being guilty of doing it. And yet everyone loves Rosa. No one thinks she's stupid, or boring, or has nothing to offer. And yet during a heated conversation she gets lost in a wordfest she has no chance of winning.

Recently this trend has bothered her more than usual and we discussed it many times. But even understanding WHY it happens doesn't do much in the moment to prevent it FROM happening. Enter good old DD.

We are now in agreement that if I should be guilty of not letting her finish speaking, she can address it in one of three ways, depending on who is there when the interruption occurs.

1: If it's anyone in the immediate household, or on some level that permits immediate action, that is what may well happen. I could be taken by the hand right to our room and spend the next few minutes learning not to interrupt over Rosa's lap.

2: If it occurs with people around who know about our lifestyle (in our case, that's a majority of our circle) but who  may not be comfortable having me hauled off right then and there for a spanking, Rosa will just warn me and threaten a punishment in front of them. And of course, if it continues, state that one will happen later for all to hear.

3: If we are among 'regular people', Rosa will find a way to issue the same threat or warning more discreetly.

Whichever it is, the end result will likely be a good spanking. I have also told Rosa that the determination of who qualifies for each level of 'comfort' is strictly up to her. If she decides she is comfortable enough to say something in front of someone I wouldn't expect......too bad for me. The same if she decides to take me to the room. If she feels someone wouldn't mind a small 'learning break' right then and there? Again: her call.

Interestingly enough, this came about in a sort of introductory way this past weekend when we were dining with Nickki and Jean (and another friend) and I kept interrupting Rosa in front of Nickki. Rosa had enough after a bit, and being very comfortable about our lifestyle with Nickki especially, issued a warning just like I described. The only difference was that it was just a threat without an actual punishment afterwards. Now, it seems, the punishment will be more probable should this happen again.

I'm not sure how I will feel if and when this 'rule' manifests itself in reality. But I fully agree to it in theory. Now time will determine the efficacy of such a policy.

A novel way of learning to let Rosa finish what she's saying.

12 comments:

  1. We have a somewhat similar problem. It's not exactly interrupting but, rather, my wife believes I have a tendency to dominate conversations. Particularly socially, after a few drinks. She might even be right. I don't recall her giving me a spanking to address that specific issue, though it clearly causes her a lot of angst.

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    1. Wow, if Rosa punished me for dominating conversations, I'd have to avoid people entirely.

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  2. My wife and I are both guilty of interrupting the other, more my wife than me. It is a bad habit, and inconsiderate.I agree that DD provides a solution. Let us know if Rosa succeeds in getting you to stop doing it. Or at least spanks you for it. I'm on her side on this one. Doug

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    1. I will keep you all posted. I'm not sure where this will go.

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  3. Hi, thanks for sharing this! Its really interesting the dfferent levels you have based on what knowledge of your FLR your guests have. I'll be interested to see follow up posts and see how it works out.

    Key

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    1. Thanks. We will see. Who knows? Toss in some stressors and the whole program could just fizzle out.

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  4. I kind of have the same problem but with Robyn she starts talking and won't stop so I can talk, so I'm forced to interrupt her. Many times after she has said something to me, but unlike you and Rosa no one knows she spanks me, so I'm going to try your idea. And tell her to give a warning that we are going to have to talk later. that would mean I'm getting a spanking that I would accept even though i'm not wrong. It's still impolite to interrupt someone.
    archedone

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    1. Ah so your honey is a filibusterer, huh? Hmmmmm. I'm not sure what you can do about that.

      And since I've promised to keep you all informed, you have to let us know how you two make out. ;-)

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  5. This one is on my list of 'rules ' to obey KD .
    It happens less often now , as after a number of 'corrections', some in front of others I have learned to be careful when she is speaking.
    She has also become quite confident in letting me know.
    If I do interrupt she will look at me sternly and say something like "excuse me but I am speaking".
    The paddle may or may not come out later.

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    1. It's interesting how this issue seems so pervasive among our DD clan!

      I'm glad it works for you. I wonder how it will go for us?

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  6. It will require effort from both of you .Rosa to consistently 'nip it in the bud' no matter who is there , and you to actively be a better listener when Rosa is speaking.
    I'm sure Rosa will come up with her own repertoire of 'warnings'.
    She might consider giving you lines to write "I will not interrupt my wife."
    Especially effective when sitting on a paddled behind!
    Good luck!

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  7. This is a wonderful idea that would be a benefit for us. Unfortunately, Cindy is too shy about anyone knowing she spanks me. We do practice a spanking prior to an evening with certain friends, or a promised spanking if I drink too much or talk too much.
    My last spanking would have been immediately if we followed this practice, as i am certain our friend would have said do what you have to do
    Bottoms up
    Red

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