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Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Odd Maternal Musings

A few years ago I wrote a story about an adult son who, after going through a bit of  a rough patch, asks his mother to spank him. It was called: “Still a Mom” (click for link to story) and ended up being one of my more popular pieces. There was even a sequel I did that followed the son’s transition after his mother’s passing called “A New Old Mom”. But that was about a separate issue than what was being dealt with in the first story. To be totally honest, the first story was a kind of artistic way for me to explore some thoughts I had about my own mother, and while the whole thing was fictional, the personalities and some of the issues were taken directly from our relationship.

I also wrote a non-fiction account of my actual experience with coming out as a disciplined spouse to my mother. That piece was called: “Unexpected Support”.(click for link to story) Regulars here are probably familiar with all three pieces since I have referenced them before.

Now I am not sure what brought this on, but I think it could have something to do with some recent (positive) developments in my own relationship with Rosa…..which I will get into another time. But whatever the impetus, I have recently become a bit wistful at not having my mother around anymore and even giving considerable speculation as to how her relationship with me might have evolved had she lived longer after learning of my lifestyle with Rosa.

There’s a part of me that has seriously considered the possibility of some set of circumstances that could have led to her spanking me similarly to the theme of the “Still a Mom” story. I can say without hesitation that Rosa would have had no objection to such a thing happening if my mother had agreed. Rosa herself had punished me more than a few times based on how she saw me behave with my mother. I feel pretty confident that if my Mom  was still alive and healthy, and after knowing how we live, there was some exchange where my tone was inappropriate, I could see a cooperative effort by the two to straighten me out.But whatever the reason, moot point though it now is, I have found myself trying to figure out if such a thing could have become a reality under other circumstances and have tried to picture how it might have played out..

When it comes to the theme of a Mom spanking her kid, no one captures it better than H-Bum.

For me to even be thinking about this suggests some deeper issue than mere curiosity. I think it could be a personal feeling of unfinished business or unresolved guilt. I do know that when I imagine it,  there are a few key elements that seem crucial to me. One is that the situation be as mutually important and desired by my mother as for me and not be some indulgence of a whim of mine. In other words, I feel like it should be something that having become aware of how I live and with Rosa’s consent and even encouragement …(which she would get)….it be something my mother feels I fully deserve. So there probably would have to be some issue where I did something to bring this on.

This piece gets it so right in my opinion: there's no wild anger in the Mom or desperate terror in the boy. To me this seems like a measured comeuppance for something both parties feel is appropriate and deserved.

The other thing that I find myself sort of needing is the knowledge that once Rosa gave her approval that she would leave the rest to my mother…..meaning that the actual spanking would be just between my mother and me in private. This is not to say that I would be spared a more public cornertime afterwards. My mother used that a lot and it would seem almost odd to escape it as an adult. I could see my mother finishing with me and then sending me to some spot in the house to stand nose to the wall while she discussed things with Rosa. I can’t help smirking thinking about the likelihood of this given how my Mother thought.

I love that the boy in this Sassy Bottoms illustration is dressed like the boy in the previous H-Bum pieces.

But perhaps the most intense piece of my imagined scenario is the deep hope on my part that  the spanking end up being …...well…..bad. Like really bad. The thing is I sort of feel that if it did happen, that THAT probably would not be something I’d have to worry about. Though my mom was never abusive, she was not one to get herself all the way to the point where she felt I had a spanking coming and then just dole out some half-hearted series of pats. No, the one aspect I could probably count on would be her spanking me good and hard. And that would be just fine with me.

Like I said, there’s no way for this to happen now but I truly believe, given my current thoughts, that were she alive, I would try to give her the opportunity. Whether she would do it is anybody’s guess, but I do know that from my perspective, I would not only do my best to persuade her but would agree to any of her conditions to convince her to try. Most definitely I would assure her that I wasn’t playing some game at her expense, but rather felt she was definitely as entitled to have this one last chance to roast my bottom like she used to…...  as I was deserving of her most enthusiastic attention. Like I said, if she did get to the point where she agreed, I probably wouldn’t have to encourage her to take the situation seriously…….but I know I still would. If nothing else I’d just love to see her face when I was standing beside her, just prior to going over her lap and while handing her our sturdiest paddle, and sincerely saying, “Ma, I probably don’t need to give you any encouragement to spank me good and hard since I never had to before…….but believe me when I tell you, we both know this is for my own good and that there’s no way I don’t deserve it…. so just because I’m an adult now, please don’t hold anything back. I can’t think of any better or more appropriate outcome than for you to blister my bottom but good .” Then I’d give her a nice bare target and wait for the paddle to fall.

My feeling is I’d soon be regretting my words…...and I would take that as her way of proving to me that she understood completely……..and didn’t disagree.

A little more struggle here.......but the boy is older and looks like he'd be a wriggler. The Mom again is admirably calm.......yet determined. She seems to know just what her son needs to learn a lesson.


  1. This post caught my attention right away, it was actually very intriguing. It is a very interesting hypothetical post. At first, I didn’t know how it was going to be because it’s your mum but once you sink in more thought you are like well it’s not anything sexual, it’s like our situation! And this is just if it was if you were a kid but older basically! so it’s a different angle to see this lifestyle situation. I honestly think your mother would tease you so much and not be shy at all for one second on giving you it hard even if it was messing around! The ending made me laugh when you wrote
    “My feeling is I’d soon be regretting my words….”you forgot to add ...”as always” haha

    1. Thanks for the feedback, Honey. You bring up a point that is debated often: is DD inherently sexual or can it be based in other needs? My position (from experience) is that it can be many things at different times, with different people and even be different in the same instant. Naturally (other than any Freudian subconscious issues inherent in people) I don't have sexual thoughts about my mother.....and yet the desire to experience this feeling of accountability and helplessness at her hands is very real. It is exactly what you said: a desire to age regress to being the naughty boy about to get it.....only now armed with the benefit of a different perspective on it. (Back then I'd beg and plead to get out of a spanking.....but here I am now seeking that level of discipline and "asking for it".

      We'll never know for sure what she would have done if presented with the possibility. I only know that I would have definitely made the offer by now had she lived. The thought of her agreeing and teasing me about it makes me blush to consider it.

      You are probably right about the regret. LOL It does always seem to work out that way.

    2. I just wanted to add that it was interesting to hear your opinion on the likelihood of my Mother's willingness to pick up her old role as my disciplinarian, since you knew her for several years. Adults can be funny about things like this and naturally, even though she was very accepting and approving of my lifestyle, it is a different thing to participate in it. But she was full of surprises.

  2. Thanks for this post KD. One of the most insightful and enjoyable I have come across in quite a while.

  3. And I totally agree about how that artist is excellent at capturing that elusive essence that makes it all so right.

  4. Very interesting topic. My relationship with my mother has always been . . . complicated. There is a lot of water under the bridge between us and, as a result, I have no desire at all to be disciplined by her. Yet, I've come to believe that much of my current desire to be disciplined, and to be subject to a really strong female's control, is because I did not experience that kind of consistent, "tough love" boundary setting growing up. So, while I do not want to experience it from my mother now, I'm increasingly comfortable admitting that I do want my wife to bring that maternal aspect to the table. As I began to realize that was part of the motivation, at first I thought she might be turned off by that aspect of it, as I've always believed most wives want a Man for a husband, not a little boy. I now thing that women are pretty good at compartmentalizing their various roles, and mine not only does not seem to have a problem with me identifying something maternal in our disciplinary relationship, she actually has such leanings herself. I think she naturally gravitates toward correcting bad behavior from the same motivation that a mother does so with a son -- helping him become a better person by nipping such bad behavior firmly in the bud.

    1. Your reply has made me look at this from another perspective: when I wrote the piece I was thinking about a 'what if?' from the standpoint of her still being around and healthy. But when you brought up issues it made me think that perhaps my other motivation for thinking about this is based in something that only came about because she passed away. If she was still alive, i probably would not be aware of this issue and it was one that caused me a lot of grief.

      I think that now with time passing, my annoyance about the issue has waned and I am feeling guilty over having been angry with her after her death. In that regard, I wonder........since this is all imagination and speculation, why not take it to a different extreme?

      Perhaps, if there is an afterlife where anything is possible, I could confess my anger, and if she was willing to acknowledge her fault, I'd offer her a chance to square things appropriately. Maybe we'd be able to choose to temporarily inhabit our old bodies back when I was 8 or 9, a lot smaller and without the benefit of a butt toughened by ears of DD...... and she was in not yet handicapped by age or arthritis just long enough to settle things the way we used to? LOL

      As for that maternal element? I agree. It's easy to see it as one aspect and not a defining element of an adult relationship.

    2. Or, imagine her spirit possessing Rosa and using your wife as the vehicle to get some maternal retribution?

      For what it's worth, I've always admired your courage in telling your mother about your DD relationship and the kindness of her reaction as you've described it. There really aren't that many adult mothers and sons who could exchange that sort of thing.

    3. "Tales of Terror: Spanker Possession" LOL

      Thanks for the compliment. It was a butterflies-in-the-stomach moment, I can assure you.

    4. This Maternal thread got me thinking. Aunt Kay used the words Maternal Discipline as part of how she described the DWC from the beginning and I agreed with it. But I never really gave it any deep thought.

      But after looking at the images KD posted I recognized that that's exactly how I felt when she spanked me. She was a Mother Bear - fiercely protective and unconditionally loving. She knew the right way to do things and didin't hesitate to "cuff the cub" back into line.

    5. Your wife was a pioneer. In fact, I was just telling Ana about her and how she enabled people like us to see a distinction between a sexy couple at spicy play and a loving couple where the wife can at least occasionally modify her spousal role to one more "maternal" and authoritarian. Even if a couple does both (like Rosa and me) we can still see the spectrum from one end to the other.

  5. Crimson Kid (C.K.)June 21, 2018 at 11:49 PM

    Well, I know that this isn't the main focus here, but numerous fans of spanking artwork on the AnimeOTK website, myself included, believe that the spanker in those first two H-Bum drawings is a long-haired male (which he features in many of his drawings) rather than a female.

    I base my conclusions on feet size, muscular forearms, a lack of mammary development and finally the angular face which has no eyebrow or eye makeup. Contrast those features with the last H-Bum drawing, wherein the spanker is clearly feminine with smooth arms, fully-rounded breasts, lined eyebrows and eye shadow, plus of course her womanly attire of a dress and high heels.

    The first two H-Bum images here are the middle two from a group of four which tell a short spanking story--in the first punishment-preparation one, its viewpoint being from an angle behind the spanker, he looks a touch more like a female but still could also be a male. The fourth picture simply shows the spanked boy doing cornertime--obviously in a politically conservative household, since several handguns are in easy reach for him to obtain.

    As for the similarity of the boy's attire to that in the Sassy Bottoms drawing, they both are wearing the closest thing to an artwork 'uniform' for spanked preteen boys--a light blue 'Doctor Denton' style pajama outfit, one with footies and the classic trap-door seat flap which is lowered to bare his behind for spanking.

    Although I developed a fascination with being spanked by females (hypothetically anyway) at a relatively young age, I never had any positive feelings about the infrequent spankings I received from my mother, even though she was quite an attractive woman at the time.

    My same-age female cousin, on the other hand... --C.K.

    1. OK, my friend......were it within my power I would definitely set you up for a damned good spanking for almost ruining my appreciation for that 4-image H-Bum set!
      As it is, I'm going to do the online reader equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears and going, "La la la la la!" so I can go on thinking it's a mother and son. ;-)

      I just love the wording in your second paragraph describing the blue trapdoors as a kind of obligatory 'uniform'.

      Ah .....cousin spankings! Gotta love those. Say, didn't you write one or two stories about that? LOL!!!!

      (To my other readers: In case you are not familiar with my friend CK's work, just visit the LSF (linked in the margin) and you'll find a massive amount of stories.....with a large percentage devoted to cousin spankings. CK is also the author of "Matched Pair" which is one of my all-time favorite "unfairness" stories.)

  6. Crimson Kid (C.K.)June 24, 2018 at 10:11 PM

    Thank you for the kind words about my writing, although perhaps you've exaggerated just a touch about my F/M cousin-spanking stories. There are quite a few of them, I'll admit, but that's in keeping with your own literary concept ("The Friend," "Proxy," "An Age Thing," "Crushed" and obviously "The Right Cousin") that spanking relationships don't necessarily have to exist primarily between spouses or lovers.

    My wife would likely agree with you about my "almost ruining" those H-Bum drawings for you, she often feels the same way when I insist on 'rationally analyzing' a movie or television program which she enjoys. (She'll eventually end up spanking me soundly at some point in the future, you can feel free to imagine that it's for my posted remarks on those drawings.)

    Another fun H-Bum drawing series, however in which the boy's spanker is clearly feminine, is the one which begins with him handing his beautiful mother an apparent negative note from school while she's in the bathtub.

    Since "Matched Pair" involves a slight variation on the 'whipping girl' concept, it's going to feature inherent unfairness in punishment--still, at least the young woman who regularly gets her bare bottom publicly walloped agreed to it (albeit reluctantly) and her family is being monetarily compensated for her services.

    There's been recent discussion on the LSF about the popularity of stories featuring young women in reformatory/prison settings (often for minor offenses or purely as innocent victims) receiving quite severe corporal correction, extreme disciplinary unfairness which they haven't agreed to (unlike in accounts about D/s or DD relationships) yet are repeatedly forced to undergo.

    So sometimes there's considerable readers' enthusiasm for such completely nonconsensual ass-whippings, especially of helplessly imprisoned females... --C.K.

    1. - I think 'quite a few' is fair.
      -I get accused of something similar with movies. Rosa threatens me all of the time! And I will imagine your next 'session' as you suggested. LOL
      -I know that H-Bum series and never liked that the Mom didn't don a robe. It made it seem too over-the-top fake and way too sexual.
      -I guess you can be compensated and still have something be unfair. After all, the friend who would be the one disciplining her, and her family, was being compensated as well......yet no sore bottom for her!
      -I saw that thread but rarely participate on the LSF forum anymore. I really only go there to see if there are new comments on my stuff. The last comment I left was a joke that seemed to fall utterly flat. And that's why I tend to write there less. I don't relate well to the people there and the same seems to be true for them and me. Their interests don't resonate with me at all. And I am so sick of the endless posts where anytime a female behind is mentioned the same folks always respond with some desire to smack it. (YAWN!) I'm better off staying away. ;-)

  7. WOW Could not imagine the thoughts this post brought up. My mom never disciplined me and now I crave it. A lot to think about.

    1. Thanks! That's what we do here: take an adult topic and have readers think about it more than they have previously.

      (This is probably one of the best compliments I've gotten. Thanks again!)

  8. I hope commenting on this some three years later isn't frowned upon, but the need to express my gratitude to you for visiting such a loaded topic and doing so in such a rational, honest way outweighs the internet etiquette faux pas.

    I have had my fair share of fantasies about real females spanking me back when I was young enough to actually be subjected to such treatment for its old-fashioned child-correcting purposes.
    Still, the closer those fantasies got biologically-wise to a maternal spanking was when I imagined being spanked by an aunt (my mother's younger sister) whom I had rarely seen by then, to the point that I wasn't entirely sure what she looked like.

    Strangely enough, an older sister (of which I have none) was my go-to spanking-daydream disciplinarian.
    It was to the point of associating any older sister that showed the slightest of protection or caring towards a younger brother with spanking! I even recall an anti-homosexual "program" my all-boy school had implemented when I was about 12, and having a schoolmate confined in me that his older sister had given him a similar cautionary lecture (he was fairly good-looking, and those boys were thought to be more susceptible to such things for some reason). And I remember having fantasies about my classmate's older sister spanking him for some bad behavior or another, and even wanting to experience that in his shoes. And a point to keep in mind, is that I grew up in Saudi Arabia where naturally I've never seen that young woman or knew anything about her, (this is Saudi Arabia in the early 2000s, no one would know their friends' sisters' names even -- in fact, those familial feminine names were of more secretive nature than military information!).

    Therefore, those non-sexual, care-giving maternal spankings that you explored in this post is very similar to what I recall my early spanking urges to be about.

    I suspect that me excluding my real mother from those spanking cravings in my preteen/early teens was more about my attitude towards her in that period rather than (associating those spankings with an inherent sexual tone that naturally would mean wanting my mother to be as far away from it as possible).
    I was a real jerk to her, for the lack of a better description, and used to give her a lot of trouble back then, and even tell her things like that I hated her, and didn't care about her feelings, etc. In retrospect, I can't find any logical reason for that rebellious phase, or for her having the brunt of it - I was very respectful towards my father in contrast.
    Anyway, I'm glad that this disrespectful phase is a thing from the past now. But I think it's the main culprit of being okay -- or even craving-- a potential spanking from her sister, but not from my real mother.

    And thank you again for sharing your experience and thoughts with us.

    1. Hey there, Max. First off the whole point of linking these past pieces was so that newer visitors had an easier way to navigate past posts that I thought worthy of a look to an interested reader. So naturally you comment is not only OK, but welcome!

      I also want to thank you for such a personal and detailed public 'confession' of sorts. I do think such airings are therapeutic for us all.

      Our lives as humans can be so simultaneously similar yet still so different that I am always fascinated by what people share. Thank you again for sharing your unique perspective to this subject.