I also wrote a non-fiction account of my actual experience with coming out as a disciplined spouse to my mother. That piece was called: “Unexpected Support”.(click for link to story) Regulars here are probably familiar with all three pieces since I have referenced them before.
Now I am not sure what brought this on, but I think it could have something to do with some recent (positive) developments in my own relationship with Rosa…..which I will get into another time. But whatever the impetus, I have recently become a bit wistful at not having my mother around anymore and even giving considerable speculation as to how her relationship with me might have evolved had she lived longer after learning of my lifestyle with Rosa.
There’s a part of me that has seriously considered the possibility of some set of circumstances that could have led to her spanking me similarly to the theme of the “Still a Mom” story. I can say without hesitation that Rosa would have had no objection to such a thing happening if my mother had agreed. Rosa herself had punished me more than a few times based on how she saw me behave with my mother. I feel pretty confident that if my Mom was still alive and healthy, and after knowing how we live, there was some exchange where my tone was inappropriate, I could see a cooperative effort by the two to straighten me out.But whatever the reason, moot point though it now is, I have found myself trying to figure out if such a thing could have become a reality under other circumstances and have tried to picture how it might have played out..
When it comes to the theme of a Mom spanking her kid, no one captures it better than H-Bum.
For me to even be thinking about this suggests some deeper issue than mere curiosity. I think it could be a personal feeling of unfinished business or unresolved guilt. I do know that when I imagine it, there are a few key elements that seem crucial to me. One is that the situation be as mutually important and desired by my mother as for me and not be some indulgence of a whim of mine. In other words, I feel like it should be something that having become aware of how I live and with Rosa’s consent and even encouragement …(which she would get)….it be something my mother feels I fully deserve. So there probably would have to be some issue where I did something to bring this on.
This piece gets it so right in my opinion: there's no wild anger in the Mom or desperate terror in the boy. To me this seems like a measured comeuppance for something both parties feel is appropriate and deserved.
The other thing that I find myself sort of needing is the knowledge that once Rosa gave her approval that she would leave the rest to my mother…..meaning that the actual spanking would be just between my mother and me in private. This is not to say that I would be spared a more public cornertime afterwards. My mother used that a lot and it would seem almost odd to escape it as an adult. I could see my mother finishing with me and then sending me to some spot in the house to stand nose to the wall while she discussed things with Rosa. I can’t help smirking thinking about the likelihood of this given how my Mother thought.
I love that the boy in this Sassy Bottoms illustration is dressed like the boy in the previous H-Bum pieces.
But perhaps the most intense piece of my imagined scenario is the deep hope on my part that the spanking end up being …...well…..bad. Like really bad. The thing is I sort of feel that if it did happen, that THAT probably would not be something I’d have to worry about. Though my mom was never abusive, she was not one to get herself all the way to the point where she felt I had a spanking coming and then just dole out some half-hearted series of pats. No, the one aspect I could probably count on would be her spanking me good and hard. And that would be just fine with me.
Like I said, there’s no way for this to happen now but I truly believe, given my current thoughts, that were she alive, I would try to give her the opportunity. Whether she would do it is anybody’s guess, but I do know that from my perspective, I would not only do my best to persuade her but would agree to any of her conditions to convince her to try. Most definitely I would assure her that I wasn’t playing some game at her expense, but rather felt she was definitely as entitled to have this one last chance to roast my bottom like she used to…... as I was deserving of her most enthusiastic attention. Like I said, if she did get to the point where she agreed, I probably wouldn’t have to encourage her to take the situation seriously…….but I know I still would. If nothing else I’d just love to see her face when I was standing beside her, just prior to going over her lap and while handing her our sturdiest paddle, and sincerely saying, “Ma, I probably don’t need to give you any encouragement to spank me good and hard since I never had to before…….but believe me when I tell you, we both know this is for my own good and that there’s no way I don’t deserve it…. so just because I’m an adult now, please don’t hold anything back. I can’t think of any better or more appropriate outcome than for you to blister my bottom but good .” Then I’d give her a nice bare target and wait for the paddle to fall.
My feeling is I’d soon be regretting my words…...and I would take that as her way of proving to me that she understood completely……..and didn’t disagree.
A little more struggle here.......but the boy is older and looks like he'd be a wriggler. The Mom again is admirably calm.......yet determined. She seems to know just what her son needs to learn a lesson.