As expected, Rosa was quite keen on the idea, as am I. One thing that came up in a sort of roundabout way during the texting was a mention of concern on Nickki’s part for feeling some pressure in meeting our expectations. I assured her that she should not worry about that and that Rosa felt the same way. After all, she was going to be the one “on Top” and other than maybe some basic safety tips, there really wasn’t anything she should be concerned over. She should just “have fun”.
Nickki then admitted in a follow-up text that she was fully on-board and had no internal conflict over doing this, but because it was text, it was hard for me to be clear on whether she was concerned that she might exceed my ‘fantasy expectations’ thus spoiling the fun, or not living up to them. And since she was at work and we discussing something else at the same time, I never really got to flesh that one out. That changed this Friday morning when I spent a few hours at Nickki’s house installing some ceiling fans.
While I was working, I asked her what she meant by her comment and she confirmed that it was what I had thought. She is quite comfortable with making a certain part of me appropriately UNcomfortable, but worried that I might not find her enthusiasm as ‘enjoyable’ as what I might be picturing in my head. Naturally I assured her that she need not be concerned about that and that if she was a little ‘over-enthusiastic’ in her delivery, I would not hold it against her and probably just respect her even more for displaying such disciplinary confidence.
Frankly, that has always been my interest in having Nickki deal with me directly. Nickki has a sort of dual nature, she has a wild side and a timid side. And the two fluctuate somewhat unpredictably. I also know that she personally enjoys watching somewhat intense bondage porn. So unlike Marta ( whose BDSM ‘experience’ was limited to reading “50 Shades”) she is not naive about what a body (or booty) can take. In addition she told me that the pictures of my bottom after getting the punishments she decreed, but delivered by Rosa, gave her a pretty clear idea of what I could handle. So in my mind, I always considered Nickki to be a potentially ‘serious’ (for fun) spanker.
Even Rosa has admitted that she thought Nickki was always just trying to work out some stuff in her head, but that once she did, she’d be an enthusiastic spanker. And Ana, who knows her well, admitted as much too. So the potential for this to be a real scorcher is more than just wishful thinking on my part. With ‘popular opinion’, my own hunch, and Nickki’s own words, it seems quite likely. And as you may expect, that possibility is less of a concern for Nickki, or Rosa, or Ana than it is for me. And that is the crux of the entire thing.
I am genuinely desirous of a “worse than expected” spanking at the hands of my dear friend…in fact I hope she roasts my butt as thoroughly as Rosa does when she’s upset…...BUT I am also worried that I might embarrass myself once such a session is underway. The last thing I ever want to do with a novice is scare them off by carrying on like they’re killing me, but I am also only human and I have been in that situation before. Not often, but I still vividly recall each time it happened and despite my willingness to endure such a punishment and my respect for the disciplinarian afterwards…...DURING those sessions, I am far less composed. On Friday I got to tell Nickki this directly. She not only understood but admitted that she fully expected to see me struggle with the spanking. In fact, she added that if I DID NOT show signs of sincere distress, she would hit harder until I did. So….so much for that! LOL
Given that view, I felt that perhaps this was the perfect time to confess my own “personal goal” with regard to our ‘adventure’. So I explained that I am fully prepared to end up with a butt that’s as red and hot, and swollen, and as sore to sit on as she’d like…...but that I may struggle hard with the process of getting there. However, I felt that as friends our relationship could be forever positively altered by a spanking that would ‘put me in my place’.
I explained that up until now I feel like I have been the instigator behind all this and also the “expert” or perhaps even the “know-it-all” whose experience might be intimidating or even annoying to friends or her in particular. In many ways I felt I might even come across as more dominant than submissive. Nickki agreed with most of that but assured me that she felt that my Dom/sub duality was specifically balanced and that my compliance with the punishments I’ve received demonstrated a pretty strong submissive side.
I asked her if she had any experience with giving a spanking and she assured me she did. I joked that experience has taught me that while some spanking know-how can definitely aid a Top, none of a sub’s ‘experience’ is worth much once you’re over the lap of someone determined to make their own impression….even if they are a total novice, and she wholeheartedly agreed with a smile.
Cute photo, but Nickki definitely won't be satisfied just using her hand!
We went on to cover a few more issues, some of which I will save for another post. But I did learn that Nickki is doing this with her spouse Joann’s knowledge (even if she thinks we’re all crazy) and that makes me feel better about it all too. Nickki also said there were some ‘things’ she wanted to work into the session and we discussed the mechanics of making them happen. In order for this all to work out, Nickki said she will be conversing and collaborating with Rosa on details…...some of which she insisted were to remain a surprise. (And Rosa has told me that Nickki has already left her a voice message, so things are moving along. LOL) She is even going to ask Rosa’s advice on which implement to use , but she did say that she definitely wants me OTK for the full ‘maternal experience’ and not just bent over something. So a lot was laid out in the open.
But the thing I really wanted to put out on the table was that I speculated that our relationship with each other would probably benefit from the readjusting of ‘roles’ that would inherently follow a good roasting. Up until now I have been the friend, handyman, and party host, and even with my submissive leanings, a bit of a dominant force in our friendship. If Nickki can spank me to a point where I am just a helpless, leg-kicking ‘sorry little white boy’, fully at her mercy, it would be very hard to erase that image or deny that new shift of power. And that is what I told her that I am looking for. I know what I am, but I also know what a darned good spanking from her could make me into. And the embarrassingly appealing footnote to that is that once done…..there would be no going back. Sure I can go on being the friend, advisor, handyman, expert, know-it-all, etc., but I will always be the guy who she had squirming on her lap. I admitted that I like that such an image will always be there going forward regardless of where we are, in the background perhaps but never gone. She replied that she hadn’t considered that outcome, but agreed that it was a likely, as well as an appealing and empowering, one.
Now it will just be a matter of scheduling and seeing how all of this lovely speculation plays out in real life. I want to be hopeful, but I have been disappointed too many times in the past so I am going to try to remain cautiously optimistic but not too eager.