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Wednesday, November 28, 2018


Yesterday I had my second, and hopefully last, hernia repair. Last time it was for an inguinal hernia, and this was for an umbilical hernia. Both surgeries were performed robotically with a da Vinci device and the recovery period afterwards is just amazing to me. You just bounce back so quickly! And no sutures......just glue.

I have a bit of pain today, but nothing I can't handle. Still, with all of the trips to the hospital and all of the little 'indignities' that can mean, I have to say, nothing really tripped any fetish switches for me. So when I see imagery like this, I just feel like I missed out on an opportunity:

I mean if I'm going to be uncomfortable, why not at least have it be a little edgy?

Everyone was very nice and professional and the only 'glitch' was that my scheduled surgery had to be delayed due to an emergency appendectomy that required the room. But if my going hungry a little longer meant saving someone's life, how can I complain? 

Another positive to this recent procedure is that besides correcting a problem, I will now once again have a normal navel! I know that doesn't sound like a big thing but it has been a bit embarrassing in the summer to have this pop-out 'outie' like a woman in her last months of pregnancy. If I'm going to be embarrassed, I think I'd prefer something more like this:

How would I tell the technician that her therapy had to stop short of an orgasm.....or else be postponed until after "No-O-vember"?

So I am again on some minor physical restrictions like no lifting for a week, even though  want to begin decorating for Christmas, but I can work around that. And I don't have any other real restrictions besides that main one that did not come from my doctor. LOL I suppose I might be given a tease though? And besides, there's only a couple more days left in the month. I don't know what December will bring and Rosa and I have had bigger issues on our minds than when I might once again have an "O". But I am definitely feeling the frustration and would love some attention......even if it was purely clinical in nature:

I have to admit, even with a bit of belly-pain, I am definitely envious of this young man right now!

Monday, November 26, 2018


I went from a busy few days to an even more hectic and stressful week. A LOT going on.... with my second surgery being tomorrow. Eventually I will do a more thorough update, but for now I just wanted to share an image of a painting I absolutely LOVE!

Two Girls Fishing ---John Singer Sargent

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Happy Thanksgiving....

.........from our table.......... YOURS!

And then I get to do this all over again on Saturday with an even bigger crowd! I will probably recap it sometime next week.

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Lock her up!

"Lock her up!" It is one of Trump's favorite chants. And because I enjoy irony more than most anything, I am loving the news on Ivanka's eerily-Hillary-similar misuse of  personal email. And because Trump's comments and attitude towards Ivanka have always been a bit inappropriate and creepy, I can't help but imagine 'daddy' publicly defending his daughter from these chants while privately picturing her like this:

And let's be IS much sexier picturing Ivanka this way than Hillary.

What goes on in Trump's mind is anyone's guess, but if his private thoughts are anything like what he says or Tweets, then I am fairly convinced the above image pops into his head every time someone ironically says "lock her up" regarding Ivanka. He is clearly a very vulgar person.

I mean, just look at how he responded to Adam Schiff! "little Adam Schitt"? ( Ol' Lyin' Shitbag really likes his nicknames.) Trump should realize that even a "little shit" can still be a BIG pain in the ass depending on the situation. And I think come January, he's going to find that out the hard way.

Monday, November 19, 2018

Paddles & stuff

It was an eventful weekend, starting with Friday. I had planned on installing a custom sliding pantry for Jean & Nickki after a doctor's appointment I had in the morning. What worked out nicely was that we had a 'contract' of small payment installments for a lawn mower they gave us, but because of the project, (which they were going to pay me for) Jean & Nickki asked if I was willing to just do the work as a even trade. I loved the idea.

However, it had snowed the day before and that almost ruined my plans but instead, enhanced them. Jean was going to be off from work but because of the snow, Nickki also stayed home so I was able to see BOTH of my friends while I installed the unit.

When I discovered that Nickki was going to be home, and because our lawn mower contract was now void, and because I know she likes contracts, and she had just recently become an active spanker with me & Rosa.......I decided to offer her a custom lucite paddle I had in my glove compartment (for away-from-home spanking emergencies) as a sort of 'permanent loan' so that she would have an effective implement in her own home so that she could feel free to spank me not only when she visited us.....but if we visited them! So before I left, I quickly made out a new contract and inserted two copies along with the paddle in a large manila envelope. Here is what I printed out:

Since I know you like ‘contracts’, here is a special one for you. I am offering you possession of a custom, lucite paddle I made that I am willing to give you as a sort of “conditional, permanent loan”.

If you agree to the conditions, you may keep this paddle right up until you no longer wish to observe the conditions. And at that time you just need to return it to me. The conditions are extremely simple:

1: You must use it. How frequently is up to you, Jean, and Rosa, but it must be used. There is nothing sadder than a good paddle laying around with dust on it! 

2: When you DO use it, you should understand that having the paddle in your possession is like a Queen holding a scepter: you have POWER. So if you feel a little mischievous, or want to play a little unfair, or if you want to really whack hard? It’s your call. I have only one option: compliance with a “yes, Ma’am.”

If you agree, keep the paddle somewhere safe and handy and sign here:



At one point, Jean left to go out with another friend leaving Nickki and me with some privacy. Even though Jean is on board (Nickki told me that after I showed up with the custom unit and started working, Jean was so pleased with it that she whispered to Nickki, "you are going to have to give KD another really good spanking now as a reward." I guess she is truly OK with this.) I still felt funny presenting the offer with her there. I wasn't even sure how Nickki would respond so I preferred to present the idea just one-on-one. 

Well, I didn't have anything to worry about with Nickki! She signed immediately after she read it! Not a second of hesitation! So, we talked a bit after and went over a lot of things that would take up pages if I wrote them all here. However, one big takeaway for me was that Nickki admitted she was definitely interested in being an active party in the arrangement we all had, and that she was also with me in being interested in making subsequent spankings more intense than our introductory session. 

We discussed that more fully and I tried to put into words how I see myself always being somewhat "in control" with her and that I think it would be a really refreshing and healthy development in our friendship if she could "put me in my place" as the "sub friend" by being more assertive in her role. She seemed to relate to what I was getting at and said she understood how spanking me when she felt like it and harder than I would "enjoy" .....all with me being honor-bound to accept it, would dramatically and permanently tilt certain aspects of power and authority in her direction.

We both joked about how it did seem unlikely that once she had me in genuine distress, there'd be no way I could somehow dismiss that later on and try to act like it didn't happen. It was both exciting and a bit scary to hear her chuckle at the idea and agree that such a development would indeed be a powerful one-way street of sorts. I think the terms 'cocky' and 'take down a peg' came into play, signifying an understanding of the significance of our now mutual goal.

Even though the models are both female, I found the expressions so perfect that I could not help but see this as the perfect illustration for my point.

I also assured her that Rosa & I both wanted her to feel empowered to indulge herself freely and that was part of the reason I was giving her a paddle to have in her own home. This way she could summon me across her lap whenever the mood hit.....even during one of our visits. I told her I would be OK with whatever she wanted to do but explained my only condition for compliance: she could spank as hard and long as she liked for real or for fun, (with Rosa's approval...which, let's face pretty much a given) but if she declared a 'real' one, it had to be somewhat fair. If she just wanted to flex a little Domme muscle, she could be as mean or unfair as she liked if she prefaced it as 'playing'.  And just saying she wanted to roast my butt because she felt like it would have me mentally still be fine with it....... even if the end result was her roasting me but good. The issue I explained was not the intensity of the spanks but the REASON for them. She understood and was cool with that and said she could see herself doing both types depending on the situation.

Rosa was happy that Nickki accepted the paddle but didn't seem too surprised. She also didn't seem that surprised by Jean's comment.  Interestingly when I texted Nickki that Rosa wasn't surprised, she said she wasn't surprised by that! Now, it will just be a matter of time and opportunity.

This is an in-progress shot of the unit I made. There are still a couple of things I need to do to fully finish it, but I had to install it before I could do them. At least Jean & Nickki can use the thing while I tweak and finish the front fascia.

I suppose the whole episode also put Rosa "in a mood" because on Sunday, she gave me a list of instructions for the next few days, had me give her a nice pedicure, spanked me THREE times......all ostensibly for 'fun' though she admitted the last was a mix of fun and also to help highlight her points and instructions. Then I was allowed a long self-tease as I kissed her feet with clips on my nipples while she watched TV, and then I had to put on my CB cage which she then locked with a smirk. All of these things were HER ideas! So, like I said, it was an interesting few days.......and my still-pink and sore butt is proof of that as well as my locked-up and frustrated 'front'!

Friday, November 16, 2018

..what evil LURKS.....

My conception of the consummate "lurker".

Despite this being the traditional time for “Love our Lurkers”, I can’t offer any love here. If you are a lurker, you are of course welcome to visit as this is an open, public, though adult (hence age-restricted) forum. But unlike the current trends in schools, I don’t think it’s appropriate to hand out trophies to anyone just for showing up. In fact I think I'd rather send these silent slackers off to the  cyber-"Principal's Office". 

And it's only appropriate that the Principal be Masterson during his"creepy period".

Instead, I would like to take this opportunity to thank those of you who not only visit but PARTICIPATE….even infrequently.  Knowing you are out there and that I can post something and assume a regular or even periodic response from you, means a lot to me and often recharges my batteries. And in that spirit, this year I am adding a new tradition to "Love Our Lurkers" Day at "Collected Submissions": the bestowing of the "Wooden Spoon Award"!

The coveted "Wooden Spoon"......(coveted by some more than others and for different reasons depending on which end of the spoon you prefer to be on.)

So THANKS to this year's recipients of the DD-bloggers' "Wooden Spoon Award" for participation! Dan, Merry, Tomy, Downunder Don, QBuzz, sissysnow, Fondles, Glenmore, Crimson Kid, John G., Joe, archedone, Lurker48, JayJay, Jhakov, Jack, Doug, Mr. Bill, Hermione, Lea, Loki, Nickki, and of course my Monster, Ana (whose "Wooden Spoon" also comes with a blank discipline slip! LOL)! Apologies to anyone I left out.

Would YOU like to be publicly thanked next year with a "Wooden Spoon Award"? Easy. Post something. At Collected Submissions, we accept lurkers, but we LOVE our participants!

Thursday, November 15, 2018

No-O-vember Update

Well, all it took was another week. It's official: despite some ongoing stressors, I am now feeling the effects of two weeks of o-lessness after a month of near-constant orgasms. 

Ok, it's not quite THIS bad (yet), but I'm definitely feeling the change.

What's interesting today is that I'm not finding the denial regrettable...despite wanting some 'attention'. Instead, I'm finding the situation is enhancing my more submissive side and leading me to appreciate being controlled.It's also encouraging me to think more sexually.....which WAS the goal. 

It will be interesting to see how this develops.

Sunday, November 11, 2018


I've written before about how Donald Trump's penchant for bestowing disparaging nicknames on the targets of his ire has always irked me. I suppose part of the reason is that I can't imagine how he has escaped 'nickname retribution' from his victims. I mean, he is a walking caricature full of so many flaws that the only real problem in nicknaming him is which one to choose? So when he's attacked others, I can't understand why he hasn't had some good comebacks hurled in retaliation. (I do believe Bill Maher once called him "the Orange Sphincter" but that was in the context of making a superhero comparison....and I bristle at comparing Trump to ANY kind of hero...even in jest.)

A while back when he was calling Warren "Pocahontas", I thought within a Disney theme he'd be the perfect "Pinocchio". But while appropriate, it seems too tame. Even Pinocchio redeemed himself at the end.......something I can never see Donald doing. So being a lover of words and expressions, I challenged myself to come up with a perfect and more accurate sobriquet. But where to begin? 

Alliteration is always fun, and so one could go with "Dodgin' Donald" (for his infamous Vietnam bone spurs) or "Deceitful Donald" (for his flagrant and frequent fabrications). 

Rhyming is another option. "Plump Rump Trump" is a good one (given his ample posterior) or given his mood lately, perhaps "Grumpy Trumpy".

Then there are the ones that relate to things he is identified with: "Swampy", "The Great Divider", "Donald the Wall-builder", "ICE-man". But while all these offerings have their appeal, none seem to fully connect with the man as a whole (or as a-hole) and so I pondered the possibilities tirelessly. I whipped out a Thesaurus, Dictionary, Bartlett's Quotations, and the Catholic Rite of Exorcism and still I came up dry. And then I decided to forgo cleverness and just go with my gut.....and as soon as I did, the answer was clear:

Ladies & gentlemen, I give you...............


Saturday, November 10, 2018

Holy Turkey

TRUE STORY (i.e. not fake news):

The other day I went food shopping and since I have a Shop Rite Plus card, over time I accumulate enough "points" to earn a free turkey for the holidays. Since I have a lot of people to feed, when I see the larger ones out, I grab one even it's a bit early.

Such was the case when I was at the checkout counter recently and told the cashier that I was looking to cash in my "points" for the frozen fowl on the conveyor. She looked at me and said, "so you want to redeem your turkey?"

(Now I'm sure she meant 'redeem my points FOR the turkey' but I couldn't resist responding to her actual words.)

I looked back at her with a smile and said, "well I'm not sure what this turkey might have done during his life that requires redemption, but I am pretty sure that at this point it's a little late for him."

When life tosses you the perfect straight line, sometimes you just have to take the cue.

Thursday, November 8, 2018


O-ctober has been over for about a week and No-O-vember is well underway. I had promised updates on this and only because of that promise I will give one today. To be honest, this is not working in the way we had least not yet. 

By the end of October I had reached a sort of 'that's enough' level of orgasm saturation, but it wasn't a hardship to induce the last few. And now, one week into a month of denial, I had expected a more immediate reaction to the sudden shift from one extreme to the other, but so far that hasn't happened. Instead, I am back to just not caring much. My stress levels are off the charts for things I can't seem to escape. 

Last night is a great example. Rosa was trying to 'get in the mood' for her own satisfaction and I canceled some plans so we would have time together. I even made a nice dinner and took care of the dishes so she wouldn't have to. Then we sort of retired to our bedroom accompanied by drinks. (I made her a special cocktail she likes as well). 

Then we sort of just tried to relax and talk. But soon the conversation drifted from some friend's issues to politics and we both ended up stressed. We didn't even argue with each other, because we sort of have similar views, but just going over everything going on.....from the election, to Sessions' ominous dismissal.....ruined us. Rosa even joked, "I swear we are the only people who care about this stuff....even though we personally would probably be hardly affected....... and the people who it would probably affect negatively the most are probably dancing and having fun while we're laying here all stressed out."

She was right. We finished our drinks and she fell asleep before we did anything sexual. And me? I was disappointed in a 'lost opportunity' sort of way.....but not in any real personally disappointed way. Like I said, sex just doesn't seem to matter to me right now. (Even intentionally NOT having it.)

I am currently reconsidering a lot of things and wondering if a new goal of pure, hedonistic selfishness is in order? It seems to work for others.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Oh, shit

While Trump spins yesterday as a victory, I can only hope inside there's a gnawing "oh, shit" churning out some ulcer-inducing tension. It's only fair since he's done it to so many of us. But as I wrote on the 5th, there is some truth backing up his smugness: yesterday was no nationwide condemnation of a divisive, lying narcissist. Like I wrote in my response to Merry, a lot of those who backed Trump, still love him. Hell, they prefer Ted Cruz over Beto O'Rourke! Cruz.....who even Trump used to hate.

To me this is astounding. I mean, OK, we can all debate policy and best routes for legislation and economic growth and I think a lot of Democrats would not like what I'd have to say about some of their ideas, but look at the man! Here is someone who leads by bullying and division, who communicates through almost compulsive falsehood, and whose character is, well, does he actually have ANY character at all?

I look at him and I see this:

But a Red Stater looks at this same individual and sees this:

I have to question that level of impairment in a person, and that is not just one person but half of the country! I mean, I don't like Pence either, but if he was the president, I doubt I'd have to worry about inane Tweets, and gaslighting on a scale never before seen. And that's sort of my point with the so-called "religious" conservatives. At least Pence fits the bill. If they said, "hey, maybe we should get this corrupt piece of garbage out of office and let someone like his VP run things." I could respect it. Pence would appoint the same judges and legislate similarly, but without all the duplicitous drama. So why isn't that what's happening?

What is this Svengali hold Trump has over these people?

One day this past Summer I was fishing and a guy I had seen around but never spoke to ended up fishing next to me.  We got to chatting and eventually got around to politics in general and Trump in particular. He supported him. But rather than argue, I asked him questions. A lot of his arguments were born of frustration with government. Some were personal suspicions of people like Hillary Clinton. Now, if I was a Democrat I think the conversation would have quickly degenerated into a local bass-fishing version of any political debate show you can see on TV, but because I was able to agree on these things, those arguments never materialized. And then it was my turn to ask him about Trump and his environmental policies and his general nature of mendacity and divisiveness.

This gentleman then did something I have had happen with every person I have had a similar discussion with.......he conceded point after point. He admitted Trump lied incessantly and that he didn't really like that. He admitted that he didn't really trust him or the things he says. He also wasn't crazy about the bullying way he spoke and antagonized people, and he flat-out stated that he wished "someone would take away his phone" so he couldn't Tweet anymore.

In essence, he was looking at the same piece of shit I was. He smelled it, and like the old Cheech & Chong routine, established that "looks like dog shit, smells like dog shit...." and yet when he bit into it, while I believe he tasted the shit too, he claimed he was being treated to the most expensive Belgian chocolate.

I am at a loss as to how to combat that level of self-deception..........UNLESS, backing Trump is really about something else? It's not about him being a successful businessman (he' not) or a moral religious man (he's not), or a great negotiator (he's not) or a reformer out to end corruption (I'm laughing too hard at this one to even type). No, more and more I am convinced that those who back him in spite of everything that is plain to see, are doing so with ONE goal in mind: to somehow re-establish a sense of White Privilege & conservative Christian theocracy. It is xenophobic racism & homophobia....but because it is not easy to come out and admit that, they have to say it's something else. They are lying just like their hero....which is probably why they don't hold lying against him.  Like I said in my last post, I am not as afraid of Trump as I am of the people who are still backing him, because this sort of thing has happened before.............and it didn't end well.

Monday, November 5, 2018

"5th of November"

"Remember, remember
the fifth of November,
the Gunpowder Treason and plot.
I can't think of a reason
the Gunpowder Treason
should ever be forgot."

It's a tradition in our home on or about November 5th to re-watch the classic movie "V for Vendetta" based on the graphic novel by the talented Alan Moore. As evidenced in the above movie poster, one underlying theme was that: "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." Within the context of the story, this sentiment is both chilling and stirring, and with Election Day being tomorrow, it almost sounds like it should be a rallying cry of sorts. And yet? This year, thinking of "V" and his message has chilled me with an alternate thought that has never plagued me as deeply as today: What if PEOPLE are of afraid of their people?

I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but what's worse is that whatever happens, I am unsettled by whatever that outcome may mean going forward.  I wish I could say that my concerns are solely "Trumpian"..........but they're not. Trump is one person and as such is much more of a product or symbol of what we have become than the cause of it.

The only way I could feel good about tomorrow is if there were no close races and that having seen the truth of the person in office, all people would rise up as in "V" and renounce it. But that is clearly not the case. This is not an unwanted tyranny.  And to me that is the bigger problem. 

And even if the opposite was true and everyone embraced the Democrats as saviors, what then? Does any thinking moderate-minded person believe the answer to our problems lies with them?

The issue I have with American polarity now is that it is not rooted in opposing idealism. It is unapologetically based on two competing  and diametrically opposed philosophies of selfishness: the worst element supporting the left wants a continued existence of unwarranted handout while the worst element of the right wants a sort of sanctioned privilege for a certain type of person: white, male, religious conservative. It's the heroic victim versus the heroic victor-at-all-costs. And as one of the "people" THESE "people" scare ME!

Meanwhile there are so many people who are not of either extreme who could easily recognize that 'fairness' is all anyone reasonably wants. "Don't take the money I worked for and hand it to someone capable of working who just doesn't want to, but at the same time let anyone who IS hard-working and decent be able to live to the fullest standard society can offer.....regardless of their color, religion, gender, or sexual orientation." The problem with tomorrow is that because each Party only offers differing halves of that message, who does a moderate vote for? 

Still, for me there is a clear answer, but only because of the type of person Trump is. In my mind he clearly has to be kept in check, and I will vote to make that happen, but that is only because I think I am in danger with him unrestrained. The irony is that every person casting an opposing vote is probably also thinking they are in danger by doing otherwise.  In a fucked-up situation like this, I think even V would be confused as to what to do.

Friday, November 2, 2018

Spanked by Nickki

On the morning of the Halloween Party, Nickki showed up at my house very early to surprise me with a spanking! Rosa was in on the whole thing and acted as witness and adviser. 

In the past, Nickki has contributed towards occasional punishments via the "Discipline Slip" route used by Ana and Marta, so this was the first time she "took matters into her own hands". To be playfully sexy, she wore a leather jacket and boots, which admittedly gave her a much more badass look.

The event took place behind the closed doors of our bedroom with Nickki seated atop the bed, back against the pillows and headboard, exactly as Rosa does. Nickki had the option to execute her spanking in pretty much any way she preferred and it was her decision to employ one of our usual paddles on me fully naked across her lap. At first she had decided to go with just 50 smacks, but she admitted she also had a sort of 'visual goal' in mind for how my butt should look when she was done, and 50 just didn't get me where she wanted. I'm not sure how many I got, but I would guess it was about a hundred.

Considering the loaded implications of Black on White Femdom spanking, you'd think there would be loads of great photos out there of a white guy getting his butt roasted by a woman of color. But there are about 6 good pictures out there that I have found (and used) and that's about it!

The spanking itself was neither brutal nor wimpy. I was definitely pink and tender afterwards but I also was not so sore that the sting lasted for more than an hour or two. A couple of days later, we had dinner with Nickki & Jean, and Nickki sort of lamented that she didn't think she went as hard as she should have. I told her that she was probably right as far as potential severity goes, but that for a "first time" it was just perfect as it was. I assured her that it was definitely a real spanking and stung plenty. However, if she was looking to have me end up like the pictures she's seen of me after one of Rosa's executions of her slips, she would have to realize that Rosa hits harder and with quantity. But we both enjoyed the experience as it was and there was no need to regret anything. Besides, she would always have the opportunity to get me over her lap again anytime she wanted, and build on her experience from this event to get the effect she is looking for. She agreed. 

From my perspective there were a few stand out moments that morning and at dinner a couple of days later:

- I found it added to the experience that Nickki chose to have me naked. Now, to be honest, she has seen me naked before (three times I think) and so there were no surprises there, but each time prior was always associated with skinny-dipping and more of a mutual thing. THIS time it was just me without clothing.......and FOR A SPANKING! (The distinction makes a difference).

- Nickki is very good at teasing me with regard to 'my front'. Every time she has seen me, it has been under circumstances that in no way flattered my dimensions. The first being the worst in freezing cold water and chilly night air! I am also not the kind of guy who goes erect before a spanking. I am of the opposite school where I shrink humbly like the 'little boy about to get it'. And that's the 'me' she was treated to again on Saturday.....which she had no hesitation in pointing out to Rosa in front of me! The thing is I am not huge under the best of circumstances, but I am not embarrassingly tiny either. I'm OK with being average and don't identify my self worth with size. Under these circumstances, I think not being big down there adds to the submissive aspect.  LOL

- Prior to the actual spanking and a couple of times between smacks, Nickki did a sort of palping rub of my bare bottom and back.....a kind of gentle smoothing of hand over skin. It wasn't exactly sexual, but it wasn't totally devoid of being a little sexy either. In fact, it made me feel like an appreciated plaything....which again added to the submissive vibe quite profoundly.

- While the spanking was ostensibly a "Birthday Present", Nickki did use the situation to lecture me over some behavioral traits she warned me to watch in the future.....notably my propensity to answer simple questions with long, detailed answers. ;-)

-It stung! I did not know whether Nickki was going to go all stern and severe or whether she would end up giving one of those tentative, cautious pat-pat spankings that novices are prone to. Nickki gave me a real spanking.....maybe not a brutal one, but it was definitely not entirely easy to take. I yipped honestly at several of her smacks. 

- In talking to both Nickki & Jean after our dinner together, I was left with a feeling of confidence that Saturday would not be an isolated event. Jean is on board and I did let her know that her involvement is totally up to her......whether she prefers to just be a tolerant partner, or even if she decides she wants to be more involved, whether as witness along with Rosa, or even a participant (though this is highly unlikely, I felt it helped prove our point that no one was trying to exclude her) that choice will be hers

- As I mentioned in my October 19th post "Determined Nickki" my personal goal was to end up "end up" LOL with Nickki where her own personal desire to inflict a more painful than average lesson (something Nickki does seem interested in) resulted in me having a rough time taking the spanking she was intent on giving. After this first 'ice-breaker' session, and the conversations that followed, I am renewed in this desire. But, it's a tricky thing when friends spank friends......especially when they are fairly close and truly appreciate one another as Nickki and I do. There is always a worry, probably more so by the dominant party, that going too hard could ruin a relationship. I get that. But as the guy on the submissive end of this, I know that won't happen with us. 

But it's also tricky to want something that isn't going to be easy to deal with in the moment. And as I said in more detail in that 10/19 post, I truly think if Nickki  DID thoroughly roast my ass and had me in sincere leg-kicking distress, it actually could be a very POSITIVE thing for us both. I think it might be especially powerful for people in a situation like ours to reach a point where the dominant friend is utterly confident in dishing out a true bun-buster of a spanking when they want to and where the submissive friend (me) is perennially aware that such a thing could happen at any time withoutmuch honorable wiggle-room to back out. Granted, from my end, the physical discomfort in getting a truly hard spanking is a slightly scary (but in a good way) factor that Nickki or Rosa or even Jean do not have to deal with. But I think it's an essential "price to pay" for an experience that carries some weight.  And with Rosa there as moderator, it is the perfect balance of me not needing to worry about any serious issue, but also knowing I won't be able to back out if things are harder than expected. I can't imagine being Nickki and not having that be a cool aspect to an otherwise equal friendship!

And that's sort of the whole thing. My thanks to Nickki for going through with it, and also to both Rosa and Jean for allowing us our fun. It will interesting to see what happens next time.......which I hope is not too far off.