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Sunday, November 11, 2018

Nicknames

I've written before about how Donald Trump's penchant for bestowing disparaging nicknames on the targets of his ire has always irked me. I suppose part of the reason is that I can't imagine how he has escaped 'nickname retribution' from his victims. I mean, he is a walking caricature full of so many flaws that the only real problem in nicknaming him is which one to choose? So when he's attacked others, I can't understand why he hasn't had some good comebacks hurled in retaliation. (I do believe Bill Maher once called him "the Orange Sphincter" but that was in the context of making a superhero comparison....and I bristle at comparing Trump to ANY kind of hero...even in jest.)

A while back when he was calling Warren "Pocahontas", I thought within a Disney theme he'd be the perfect "Pinocchio". But while appropriate, it seems too tame. Even Pinocchio redeemed himself at the end.......something I can never see Donald doing. So being a lover of words and expressions, I challenged myself to come up with a perfect and more accurate sobriquet. But where to begin? 

Alliteration is always fun, and so one could go with "Dodgin' Donald" (for his infamous Vietnam bone spurs) or "Deceitful Donald" (for his flagrant and frequent fabrications). 

Rhyming is another option. "Plump Rump Trump" is a good one (given his ample posterior) or given his mood lately, perhaps "Grumpy Trumpy".

Then there are the ones that relate to things he is identified with: "Swampy", "The Great Divider", "Donald the Wall-builder", "ICE-man". But while all these offerings have their appeal, none seem to fully connect with the man as a whole (or as a-hole) and so I pondered the possibilities tirelessly. I whipped out a Thesaurus, Dictionary, Bartlett's Quotations, and the Catholic Rite of Exorcism and still I came up dry. And then I decided to forgo cleverness and just go with my gut.....and as soon as I did, the answer was clear:

Ladies & gentlemen, I give you...............



"LYING SHITBAG".


10 comments:

  1. I've always favored Douchebag Donnie. But, I kind of like your "Dodgin' Donald."

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    Replies
    1. I like that one. But the comic point of this post was that any thought-out nickname tends to soften the derision. That's why I concluded with the final, fairly direct description.

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    2. The difficulty is, he KNOWS he's a lying shitbag. So, if the name were to be adopted, it wouldn't cause him any personal angst. I think to have any chance of scoring a point, it has to attack either his looks, or his sense of himself as a tough guy. Or maybe the hair? Toupe Trump? Or his weight: Distended Donald? His Rotundity? His cowardice and/or Stormy's insinuations about his penis length? Dickless Donald?

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    3. Good point. His vanity is our undoing.

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  2. The only problem with your final choice is it fits most politicians. Although most have more polish and charisma the outcome is the same.

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    1. Actually, Joe, you are right about the first part. It DOES fit most politicians. But I'm not sure about your conclusion. It seems you are saying that this is just "more of the same" but I'm not so sure that any of the "bad" we've seen previously with others compares evenly to what we are seeing now.

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  3. Replies
    1. Yeah, I'm trying. It'll probably get easier come January.

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  4. "Lying Shitbag" is more of a description than a derogatory nickname, I'm figuring.

    Hopefully, most rival politicians, or even ones allied to the guy, don't follow 'Von Trump's' example because they have more class than to engage in 5th-grade schoolyard-style insults.

    However, I did appreciate the headline (next to his photo) on a rather sensationalist newspaper after his involvement in 'water sports' with a Moscow prostitute was revealed: "Pee Brain"... --C.K.

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