By the end of October I had reached a sort of 'that's enough' level of orgasm saturation, but it wasn't a hardship to induce the last few. And now, one week into a month of denial, I had expected a more immediate reaction to the sudden shift from one extreme to the other, but so far that hasn't happened. Instead, I am back to just not caring much. My stress levels are off the charts for things I can't seem to escape.
Last night is a great example. Rosa was trying to 'get in the mood' for her own satisfaction and I canceled some plans so we would have time together. I even made a nice dinner and took care of the dishes so she wouldn't have to. Then we sort of retired to our bedroom accompanied by drinks. (I made her a special cocktail she likes as well).
Then we sort of just tried to relax and talk. But soon the conversation drifted from some friend's issues to politics and we both ended up stressed. We didn't even argue with each other, because we sort of have similar views, but just going over everything going on.....from the election, to Sessions' ominous dismissal.....ruined us. Rosa even joked, "I swear we are the only people who care about this stuff....even though we personally would probably be hardly affected....... and the people who it would probably affect negatively the most are probably dancing and having fun while we're laying here all stressed out."
She was right. We finished our drinks and she fell asleep before we did anything sexual. And me? I was disappointed in a 'lost opportunity' sort of way.....but not in any real personally disappointed way. Like I said, sex just doesn't seem to matter to me right now. (Even intentionally NOT having it.)
I am currently reconsidering a lot of things and wondering if a new goal of pure, hedonistic selfishness is in order? It seems to work for others.