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Sunday, January 6, 2019

Follow-up & Feedback

Not long after I posted about my 'adventure' with Nickki, she responded with a comment. But the post also prompted a text exchange between us that revealed some interesting feelings and thoughts. While there's no need to re-post the entire textual conversation, I thought it worthwhile to share some of the either more revealing, or just amusing, highlights. ( For the sake of clarity, I edited the content and corrected the spelling and grammatical errors that inevitably happen when texting. I did not alter anything as far as content though.)

Special thanks to Domhnall the Second who visits here occasionally, for sending me reworkings of the two shots I posted yesterday, feeling he captured the reality of my situation a bit more clearly. 

For context, let me explain that I texted Nickki earlier in the day just to make sure everything was good with her and Jean. Like I hinted at in my post, besides the adventure, a lot of emotional stuff also went on that night and I wanted to make sure my dear friends were doing OK. She responded that things were good and that they were just finishing up a productive conversation about stuff. To add some levity I texted:

KDP: I am going to take down Christmas since my honey is working.

Nickki: We like it up inside a little bit longer.
(there is definitely wording here one could have fun with....."that's what she said" LOL)

KDP: Well the choice is individual. For me I like to move on to the next thing. And besides It's something I can do to keep busy while my honey is gone. 

Plus it means I can get it done without her freaking out over the boxes.

Nickki: Oh yes

KDP:'s something productive I can do that..............doesn't involve sitting!  (pain face emoji followed by a kiss emoji )

Nickki: Great. Talk later. Be careful and don't injure yourself.
 (totally ignoring what I thought was both self-effacing humor and even a bit of a compliment to her )

So I figured that Nickki must have been preoccupied to have just blown off my joke like that, and since she once reprimanded me for doing the same thing to a text joke she once sent me while I was preoccupied, I thought it would be a good time to say we were even. After her comment was posted on the blog I texted her to thank her and then added my comment about her ignoring my joke just like I once did to her and she did in fact explain that she was indeed preoccupied and just missed it, but going back and re-reading it prompted this text:

Nickki: I'm laughing at you because your humor is as bad as mine.  She went on to say that she was also in the process of texting both me and my youngest stepson simultaneously.)

KDP: Well they say that the best humor has truth in it and my joke definitely did! Besides I thought you would take it as a compliment if you knew that I was looking to do things that didn't require sitting.

Nickki: I may be stretching myself thin ( referring to texting two people at once ) but at least I'm not hot! (being 'hot' has sort of become a running joke between us going back to a photo she got of me after Rosa had just given me a spanking based on a slip from her. She even mentioned it again in her post comment. It's  like our own understood code word for 'sore-bottomed' )

KDP: I disagree honey. We're both hot. Except you're hot in that good 'sexy mama' way and I'm hot in the sore 'spanked by mama' way. (crooked smile emoji)

Nickki: Lolololol thank you. Hopefully you are not driving and texting.

 After assuring her I was safely home, I asked her a more pertinent question:

KDP: You know what I wanted to ask? I was curious about what your favorite part of our little adventure was?

Nickki: Watching how your face lit up  like a little kid when you challenged me. It was funny. And the other was that I had control. It was my paddle and I like that one much better than the spoon. I also liked my end results a lot.

I have a better understanding of who you are as a DD person. I've just never dominated someone in this way, so it's different. I think I'm still geared towards thinking of you as my friend and participate because you like it......but don't piss me off because I have the power.

I found her comment to perfectly align with what I wrote in response to her blog comment and suggested she read it. This is what it said:

 >>>I feel like each time you take action, it's like you're putting another chip on your side of the otherwise balanced scale of our friendship, tipping certain aspects more and more in favor of your authority. It's kind of impressive to watch that shift especially while also being a part of it.

Now of course, yesterday I was just flat out 'asking for it' LOL It's going to be interesting for me to see where and when you decide to initiate something based on your own feelings.<<< 

 She read it and afterwards responded with this:

Nickki: I just read your reply on the blog. You are right. You said it perfectly.

I then asked her if she wanted to know my favorite part and naturally she did.

KDP: My favorite part was when I was wiggling around from the sting of your smacks and you kind of scolded me to stay in place . It was very humbling because i knew you were right to call me on it. And because I felt that way I tried to not only stay more still but also try to position myself so that you could have a better shot at my butt.And it was kind of cool because i was doing that while knowing it was going to make it easier for you to spank me even more effectively. But I still felt like i should.

And then when you kind of thanked me for positioning myself like that and then spanked harder. Wow! I was just like "Damn! She's got me right where she wants me now!"

Nickki: Lolol

KDP: Hey I did taunt you. It's like poking the bear. And I got just what I deserved.

Nickki: You damn sure did. Goodnight. Talking to the two of you at the same time exhausted me. Love all of you. Talk later.

And that's how our conversation ended. Pretty cool. I felt like we are essentially on the same page and are both sort of intrigued by how something like this might change certain aspects of our friendship, but not unwilling to have that power imbalance. And I think that's the important part. It's one thing to have an "unequal friendship" where one person is bullying the other, but this is very different. I believe Nickki and I are very secure in knowing the essence of our friendship will always be based on mutual care and respect. The only part that changes is that she will be able to deal with certain things with punishment.....but even there, I know she will always be fair with the serious stuff and only 'unfair' when it's for fun ........and I'm fine with that!

even if it means occasionally ending up like THIS.....or worse! LOL

And I suppose that is the most significant takeaway for me from all of this......the realization that Nickki has learned firsthand that spanking hard won't break me. A strong smack just stings more than a lighter one. That's always a huge turning point for a disciplinarian......and consequently the person who is accountable to them. A reasonable person never wants to injure someone they care about, nor does a submissive wish to be seriously injured...... but I think a person who is interested in being a spanker also (as you can even see from Nickki's own comments) greatly enjoys the power and freedom to be somewhat tough. They usually feel that if they are going to spank someone, and that person deserves the spanking, well's going to be a damned SPANKING.  

Once they learn from experience how hard they can go without causing injury, it opens their eyes to the full potential of the power they wield because in all honesty, the surprising answer is "pretty darned hard". Every person I've ever known who has ever made that discovery has always ended up being a very confident and firm spanker. These are the people that you never enter into a spanking with worrying for your safety while also knowing there's no way "it'll be a breeze".  

Anyone who has been spanked seriously knows what I'm getting at. The 'spanking meter' has a pretty broad range between "wimpy" and the maximum level at which the smacks could become physically dangerous. That last criteria is pretty high as long as the blows are directed to fleshy areas.....meaning that a spanking can get pretty painful before ever getting anywhere near the "dangerous" mark. A confident spanker is not afraid to explore that very wide territory......and it's within that territory that we submissives develop a healthy respect for a disciplinarian's power.

My spanking Friday might have been prompted by a childish taunt rather than some serious breach of conduct, and while Nickki's reaction was not one of offended outrage, it did not stop her from teaching me a pretty clear lesson about what she is capable of. I got a darned good paddling for my stunt. And this was only her second attempt.......for something relatively silly. So I am pretty sure while her 2018 'reward' might not be too bad (though it could LOL) the warning for 2019 is going to be ......memorable. But then isn't that the point of a punishment?


  1. I was going to post on your post before this one, when real life got in the way. I was called to the bedroom and spanked for not stripping the bed she she could wash the sheets.
    I think i can see into your future. You are bare bottom, Rosa is on one side of you and Nickki is on the other. Both are holding wooden spoons and spanking you at the same time, maybe playing a tune on your bottom and telling you to guess the tune. Maybe even comparing who can get the cheek they are spanking redder.

    1. I can appreciate that situation of yours.....having experienced similar ones.

      As for the future? Your scenario is indeed cute and I'm sure my Rosa would go along willingly. Who knows? They both could do something like that if they wanted......but that's up to them. Oddly with ll the things I've done with more than one person...I've never been spanked in the way you described. It's always been two in turn never together at once. LOL

  2. I'm sorry i forgot to add that Ana could hold your ankles so you don't kick and they can all enjoy watching your spanking.

    1. Well I doubt that will happen but it too is a cute thought.

  3. "I think a person who is interested in being a spanker also (as you can even see from Nickki's own comments) greatly enjoys the power and freedom to be somewhat tough. They usually feel that if they are going to spank someone, and that person deserves the spanking, well's going to be a damned SPANKING."

    I think that is right for many women. Once they get that they really have been granted the authority to unleash -- they lose almost all reticence about doing so. They seem to naturally get the whole accountability thing such that if he deserves it and has agreed to it in advance, then they have no problem dishing it out.

    I agree there is a very broad range between wimpy and injury-risking. But, I learned over time that, for me at least, there are some things short of injury-risking that still aren't good for a spanking that is supposed to really discipline me or get me to take responsibility. They cross some line of intensity that makes it impossible for me to do anything but "man up" and emotionally resist any real surrender. It is more a matter of the implement than the hardness of the swing. We gave up on some heavy rubber straps that were just too much (though, those also were more injury prone, at least if you define "injury" to include the skin cutting substantially), and I've encountered a few paddles that were just so "thuddy" that it felt like being hit with a 2x4.

    1. What you write is true. Implements make a difference. I guess when I was writing that I was just relating it to the types of paddles Rosa and Nickki have. Using's very hard to injure, but not difficult to hurt. LOL

  4. I agree about constant 'bratting.' On the other hand if used wisely it works almost every time. I wonder what would happen if you 'Bratted' all the ladies as a group... But you would do that would you? Nah... -John G.

    1. I'll brat for fun.....even if the consequences end up a bit more I'd do it in that scenario. that scenario I probably wouldn't have to! LOL