I hate fan clubs more than I hate the sometimes dubious object of adoration. In a DD setting you can see it often. I can point to so many instances in so many diverse places that all ended up with one common thread: each situation, no matter how different, all prompted me to go into ‘attack mode’ at the slightest provocation.
What exactly do I mean by “fan club”? It’s a phenomenon you can see everywhere…...especially in politics right now. A person gets a following by virtue of something elusive or inconsequential, whether it is a certain perceived charisma, or a projected sense of dominance. Look at Trump. His followers will not abandon him no matter what. Substance is unimportant. Criticism is futile. And it is not that much different in DD.
I used to be a regular on two DD forums that had a disproportionate number of M/f members. The fan club then focused on the most boisterous male Tops. No matter what they said, no matter how boorish or even incorrect, they were still the heroes. Women, or sub men, with differing opinions were routinely turned upon by the adoring fans of the Alphas. It didn’t matter how lucid their points were. It didn’t matter if the male Top behaved abominably and broke one forum rule after another. The adoring female subs just elevated them higher on their pedestals.
More recently I have seen it in F/m settings where any believable female is automatically elevated to goddess status just like the guys on the M/f sites. And the worst part is that these people didn’t ask for this honor, and maybe didn’t even expect it. Many are good people with intelligent insights to offer. But what happens it that at some point that no longer matters. I know of several women who are bemused by their ‘fans’ and don’t take them too seriously, but still enjoy the attention. Even then, I have seen women begin to make teasing comments to the male readers in a "you better behave" sort of way. If confronted, it's always passed off as just joking, but I sometimes see it more as playing the "Top card" as a way to control people who have in no way consented or agreed to be controlled. (I often think: 'OK, you may be the Top.......but you're not my Top.') I have even seen several instances where a Top 'guest' will scold the blog or forum's submissive host or hostess, believing their role gives them that privilege.
The other thing is, no matter how wonderful some of these folks can be, it is impossible to criticize or challenge them without inviting the ire of the whole ‘club’. And to be honest, not all of them ARE wonderful. Some objects of fandom are very full of themselves. There is a reason the term “Top’s Disease” originated in the BDSM community. You give a person power and do nothing but worship them and it is very difficult for that person to not start believing their press.
Now for me personally.....and where I have been getting into trouble......is when a Top shows up, posts regularly, and a pattern emerges: the Top says something and a chorus of praise ensues from the worshiping subs. Another person says something, maybe even more clever or worthy…...crickets. Top speaks again…...more deafening praise. Over and over. As a result, the curmudgeon in me begins to resent the Top and I see fault or take issue with whatever the adored Top writes….even if it’s more of a perception rather than fact. It's like I want everyone to remember that a dominant BDSM/DD role does not automatically translate into "genius status". But it never works and I always end up looking like the jerk. And this has happened even when my issue with the Top was based on something genuine and not imagined. Validity makes no difference to the "fan club", only blind allegiance.
Having now realized that this is what has been happening, I am trying to come up with a plan to avoid getting sucked into useless arguments over both real and imagined issues. So far, just realizing the origins for this has already helped me be more objective. Hopefully I can keep this safe distance going forward.