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Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Coming soon!

This morning I got a double spanking from both Nickki and Jean. ( Yes, you heard right.....Jean! )  There are even pictures to go along with the account. I am finishing up the details now, but I have some things to do today and I will be busy most of tomorrow. So, for a lot of practical reasons, it looks like the story may well end up as the first post on the new, private blog on August 1st. 

And in thinking about that, I can't help but feel it's the perfect kick-off to commemorate the start of "Collected Submissions" new direction.

So make sure you regulars bookmark this site and be ready to log on when the restrictions go into effect. Anyone who has been even a moderate, rule-following contributor, will be given access. If you find yourself inexplicably unable to get in please click my avatar on any of the other blogs you know I go to and contact me.

Monday, July 29, 2019



That's right, two....

Not one, mind you, but two......

Two and only two........

Just two more days before "Collected Submissions" goes private!

Friday, July 26, 2019


I was going to hold the following story until the blog went private. It contains elements that some may find odd, even objectionable. But there is no question that it is a story that raises a lot of questions and incorporates a lot of issues that come up in discussions of spanking, and DD, and BDSM play, perhaps in a truly unexpected way. So, because this story has so much potential for discussion and because some readers who have not participated here before expressed interest in being included in our private group, this piece might provide more than enough raw material for reactions, theories, comments, and questions. With that in mind, here we go …..

I have maintained for a long time that spanking between adults can be many things, sometimes separately and neatly boxed, and sometimes a blend with fuzzy edges. The following post is a true account of a recent development that illustrates the powerful complexity and cathartic influence spanking can have within non-sexual and ostensibly play-centered parameters.

Background: Probably about 8 years ago, after Rosa and I went open in our household, besides the kids being aware of how we lived, and being influential in genuine punishment recommendations for things that directly affected them, Rosa and I also showed that a good paddling need not be only serious punishment, or something sexual, but just something mischievously playful… the spanking games my generation at least played as kids. Or spanking dares among friends, or even birthday whacks.

One offshoot of this….besides a period when we did do Birthday whacks somewhat faithfully for all birthdays…………….always with me as the proxy recipient, was a thing we called “playing for stakes”. Briefly, it was an agreed-upon set of penalties for me when playing video games with the three of them. We didn’t do it all of the time, and some seemed to like the angle more than others, but all three definitely partook at one time or another.

The oldest, preferred Mortal Kombat. If he lost (which was super rare) he would be obliged to bring me a beer during TV time. If I lost (which was much more likely) he would inform his Mom, Rosa, and she would take me to the room for a visibly private, but easily audible, penalty paddling. Ana, used to like “Let’s Dance”. And the youngest, Osito, played Resident Evil with me on co-op mode. Osito went the furthest with a litany of conditions and situations that would add to the tally. We actually had to keep a scorecard to keep track of it all. Most of the numbers weren’t high in and of themselves, but when added together at the end, I usually was in for a pretty hot hinder! Eventually as they got older, the novelty wore off, and “playing for stakes” fell by the wayside. It is the way of things. 
A fairly accurate depiction of what used to be a fairly common occurrence when "playing for stakes" with my stepson, Osito.

This past year has been a challenging one with Osito. While being an extremely gifted and talented musician, he has little desire for much else. School became a problem. Work became a problem. Future plans for his post-high school life became a problem. And I did what I had always done as a parent. I stood firm, advised and warned, and with Rosa’s assistance established some pretty drastic ultimatums. It eventually worked and things are now improving. But it was rough at times and I had to be very hard on him at times as well. 

Recently I happened to see Osito watching some YouTube guys playing a Resident Evil 5 walk-through and at one point he said to me, “you know watching this kind of makes me want to play again.” I responded that I would be willing and that was how we left it. After that comment though I began to think more deeply on it and had an idea.

So a few days ago I took “Bunny”. (Bunny is a stuffed rabbit that has become a sort of extra family member. She even has her own Instagram account!  Bunny ends up everywhere, doing all sorts of things and ending up as texts, or posts or whatever. Bunny is also the family’s messenger for things people want to say that they don’t want to say themselves. Weird? Yes. But it’s fun and it works beautifully. Bunny has the freedom to be whatever her current 'handler' wants her to be….and no one can get mad at her because a: she’s too darned cute, and b: well………..she IS a fucking stuffed animal. LOL) I set up the following shot, sent it to my stepson and left it out for Osito to see in person when he got home from work. He was amused and interested. 

This is the actual photo that started it all!

So we talked about things in a definite blend of playful euphemism and serious directness. I explained that I thought he and I had gone through a pretty rough patch and that I had no regrets over how tough I had been. I mentioned how I raised my own son during a rough period and how close we are now. And then I told him that I was very proud of how he has gone about changing the stuff that needed to be changed. But despite my assertion that I did what I had to do, I also acknowledged that I was sure it wasn’t always easy for him to be on the receiving end of my authority. So…………...I told him that since he wanted to revisit Resident Evil with me, how would he feel about REALLY revisiting it… the old days…..with stakes. Only now that he was older, perhaps he’d like to dish out the penalties personally (I had naturally cleared this with Rosa. And even Ana ….who is very close to Osito…. texted it was “good. Good bonding time, >thumbs up emoji<”

I did not know how he would respond to the idea of actually doing the penalties, since his mother had always done it previously, but I told him the reason I was offering that possibility was so that if there was anything he was harboring, this could be a mutually-acceptable outlet. Surprisingly, he didn’t need convincing.

The rest of the day was spent with us hunting down replacement PS3 controllers and talking in the car about how this would go. He seemed very interested in how the penalties would work, but despite his past desire to make them complicated, this time he seemed to want to keep them interesting but easier to calculate. He suggested a system by which at each section’s end, when the game rated the players’ performance with letter grades, that my grades would have an amount attached to them and we would simply tally the 5 grades for a total. If you are a Resident Evil 5 fan we came up with this: S (the highest score) = 20, A = 30, B =50, C = 60, and the very unlikely but possible D =75. If  I played perfectly, the least I could get away with was 100 smacks with our long-handled wooden spoon.

Now, for the record, let me state clearly: we are both legal adults, and we are both straight males. (Osito has a girlfriend and I have my Rosa.) Neither of us are ‘bi’. So this was definitely more of a ‘guy thing’ than anything prurient. And even though we are both guys, I would still wear something that would keep my privates covered and only my cheeks exposed.

But before we started there was something I made sure to make very clear: In life there are always situations where you have to obey someone else...whether it’s a parent or teacher, or boss. However, those roles can shift depending on the situation so that a person’s expertise in a particular area might result in them reversing a hierarchy. ( A worker might run a choir on the side, and perhaps one day their boss might join the choir. At work the boss is the boss, but during choir practice the worker/choir director is in charge and the daytime boss is just one more   singer who needs to follow the director’s lead.) So I told Osito that, yes, he still needs to make sure he is doing what we have laid out for him as his parents, but during this game, HE, by virtue of being better at the game and with my consent, is the lead partner. He can decide what weapons I have to use, what penalties I might have to suffer, and most especially HE alone gets to decide the pace, rhythm, and severity of the paddling I get at the end. I told him at that point, despite my usual role in the house with him, my only options are to bend over, stay in position as best as I can, and take whatever he decides to dish out…...maybe not silently LOL, but definitely without complaint or objection.

And then…...we played the first round. I had thought I would be rustier than I was and I actually played pretty well. I was pretty accurate, and didn’t die even once. As we played and discussed the game, I mentioned how well I was doing, and then just as I said it, I sort of laughed to myself. Osito asked what did I find funny, and I said, “I just realized that even though I’m doing much better than I thought, even if I play perfectly, I am still going to get a decent paddling no matter what.” And that’s exactly what happened. My score was pretty good with two S’s, two A’s and just one B, but even that performance added up to 150 smacks.

Without much fuss, we went to a spot where I could flop over some pillows and present a good target, and I lowered my shorts so I was wearing only a thong type underwear, bent over and waited. To his credit, Osito was very considerate. He started a bit gently and said that he didn’t want to have me end up like I did with Nickki’s last punishment…..which I had to laugh and agree with. And then just said, look I’m going to experiment with ten or so that won’t count to get the hang of this and then we’ll start counting. I gave him some feedback telling him when he was in the right range and then said that he could start there but to feel free to ramp things up as he continued. And that’s what he did. It wasn’t a mild spanking, nor a severe one, and the last 50 or so were crisp enough to make me ouch and grunt, but the worst part for me was that he deliberately wanted to deliver the penalty in one-cheek installments of 25! I hate that! But what could I say? This was Osito doing exactly what I told him was his prerogative to do, namely paddle in the style he wanted. So I squirmed and winced through these 25 swat flurries that landed on the same spot over and over. Man that hurt!. And then? It was over.

Not age accurate, nor was I naked.....just bare-cheeked....but the sentiment is there.

The following day we were set to play the next section and I asked if he thought he wanted to restrict my arsenal more to make things more challenging and he agreed saying he was thinking the same thing. However, despite all that, I still played better than even I expected and ended up with a slightly lower score rather than a higher one: 140. However, with all of our discussion, and with some added feedback on the day before, Osito was more relaxed and prepared to ramp things up even more to his liking than mine. Doing the math he said that today he would do 20 swat salvos instead of 25 with the last 20 split 10 and 10. And this time the swats were going to be noticeably harder. There was no doubt he intended to make this sting. I struggled through all of it and was more vocal than usual, though I never once complained or tried to stop him…..just as I had promised. I just let him roast my butt. Afterwards I was pretty red and even this morning I’m definitely feeling it down there. LOL

Again, the age and certainly the position are far from accurate, but this definitely illustrates that uncontrollable wriggling, accompanied by the inevitable grunts and ouches that as the older party I wanted to avoid but couldn't. I feel like once this starts happening all stoic dignity is lost. And that is sort of what happened. If Osito wanted to feel like the tables were truly turned, my reactions certainly provided convincing proof. There is simply no way for me, no matter what my experience level may be, to have my youngest stepson reduce me to this state and not feel humbled. Even if it never happened again (which it will) there is no way to ignore that this is what his spanks resulted in.

The thing is we were supposed to play again today but he told me there was a change of plans and we would have to postpone the next section for another time. I joked back that I was actually grateful for the delay since he had done such a number on me that a hard spanking today would be horrible. He smiled a big grin and said that he had started to feel like he was going too easy at first and so he decided that he needed to crank things up a few notches before he finished. I assured him he succeeded and he snickered.

But despite my intentions for this bonding adventure, and my expectations for how it would play out, I ended up being surprised yesterday by an unexpected reaction of my own. I went into this thinking the playing of the game would be our bonding time, his authority would be a life lesson on how roles can shift but that one needs to respect the authority figure in each situation, and that the penalty phase would be a sort of comeuppance twist for me….just like in the old days, and a possible outlet for any buried resentment for him. And while all of that I think did happen to some degree, I found myself feeling also bonded by the shared duality of the penalty phase. I dd not expect that.

One of my personal issues with him within this past year has been a kind of deep resentment over his behavior. It made it very difficult to interact even at times when there wasn’t a storm brewing. There was just too much going on. In the recent past, there were several times when I truly wanted to strangle that kid…..or at least give him a good pop, but naturally I never did. Now instead of engaging in some sort of sanctioned activity, like perhaps a volleyball game or something physical where I could ‘beat his ass’ and purge that pent-up anger, here I was LITERALLY having my ass beaten instead...and beaten hard! One would think that being spanked hard by someone one resents would make that feeling worse, and yet it seemed to have the opposite effect. So while I was gripping the sheets and struggling to endure the consecutive cheek-smacks, I found that because, especially that second day, he had me truly struggling to comply and genuinely ouching like a punished schoolboy, instead of a negative reaction, I felt both humbled and respectful. Later on I found myself even acting more gently with Osito. I felt more calm with him. I was more solicitous. 

One theory is that enduring the pain itself is a physical release, just like venting energy outward. Another possibility is that because I am a long time practitioner of this lifestyle, that my wiring is such that the mere act of sharing this activity with someone, even male, even someone I have had struggles with, is enough to forge a kind of connection. In my case perhaps the sharing of the two sides of the coin is more important than which side I am on. I am very open to hearing other speculations. I find it bewildering and unexpected…..but it is very, very real. 

And we are far from finished. Despite the break today I am 'committed' to a minimum of two more chapter sections, after which we might stop the stakes, amend them and continue, or continue without changes. While I don't know what Osito will want to do after the next two sections, I do know from talking to him that he is definitely expecting to play and then paddle me for these two upcoming ones. Regardless of his past reluctance to do the paddling himself, he definitely doesn't seem to mind this time.

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Going Private

In a short while "Collected Submissions" is going to be a limited access blog. I am going to keep it public for a bit so that my regular readers can ask any questions regarding this new status.

If you are a regular reader/participant with a Blogger account, there is not much you need to do. You will have to log on initially I believe but I have never encountered any extra steps in going onto the private blogs of others. 

Important points:
1: If you do not have a Blogger profile and log on as "anonymous" I don't think you will be able to be given access. I am sorry if this affects anyone. (I know it will affect my dear Ana, but I've already broken the news to her.)

2: I am permitted up to 100 'private guests'......WAY more than I'll need. So odds are if you are on my reader list and have participated even moderately, you will very likely be given access. Whether you choose to act on that is totally up to you. Membership will not be determined by whether you've always agreed with me. That's not my style. However, guests who have consistently flouted the rules may find themselves blocked.

3: If there is a problem, I am an active participant on several other blogs you may also be a part of. All you have to do to contact me is click my avatar and use the contact feature provided. Once contacted I will make sure any 'regular' with an issue is taken care of.

4: It is probably a good idea to save "Collected Submissions" in your favorites, or somewhere. I understand that it may not be easy to get to the blog without a ready avenue.

5: This is not a bad thing. I am hopeful that private access may encourage even more dialog, and I myself may restore some images I have removed since the core group of participants are also trusted by me. I may even feel a bit more emboldened to share even more if this works out.

6: If you have any questions NOW is the time to ask. Once I reset the access, if you are not a Blogger account person who has been given access by me, it may be difficult to resolve anything.

7: If you are someone I "know" from another blog, but haven't participated here but would want to be a part of the new blog, post something soon so you are in the reader base. If I DON'T  know you already, access will probably not be granted. (You had 4 years, and plenty of warning.)

Over the 4 years here I think a lot of great friendships and associations have been made. Hopefully the decision to go private will not affect any of that. 

To old friendships and new beginnings!

Monday, July 22, 2019


Riddle: What do KDP & a nymphomaniac have in common?

Answer: The urge to say.......

To say I'm in a bad mood would be like saying a tsunami is a bit of coastal flooding.

Not a lot is going my way lately. Rosa is also in a bit of a funk as well. But, what the hell? You know what they say...."it's always darkest .....just before you fall down a a flight of stairs."

A nice nymphomaniac acting on the 'fuck everything' philosophy. I'm not sure if it's working for her or not....but the guys don't seem to mind. The people fucking you never do.

If you look at the brief 'mission statement and blog rules' at the top of the page, my intention that this be a place of interaction was always clear from the start. Now I know of a couple of folks who have added or converted their existing blogs to ones with limited access. In the past I shied away from this notion, feeling that I wanted as many interesting people to be able to interact here as possible. LOL. Well a quick perusal of the input lately indicates just how successful that has been! So I'm thinking I might just try a more EXclusive rather than INclusive approach.

I'm figuring there are a pretty solid handful of people who seem interested enough to participate here and perhaps it would be better if they were considered members of a more limited club. They deserve it after all.

It seems like the blog now is like having an open bar without a guest list. Plenty of people will come in for the free drinks and only a few ever tip or get to know the bartender, while most don't even bother to say 'thanks for the drink'.  So I'm thinking if I just opened the bar to a few patrons, not much would change for the bartender (me).....except that the amount of free booze consumed by anonymous party-crashers  would fall to nothing. I would get the same amount of comments from the same people and perhaps even feel more free to post things I have kept private. 

So I'm going to look into what is involved in making the conversion, and if it is simple enough, I will grant access to those who actually make the effort to participate and "Collected Submissions" will no longer be open to anyone else. 

Monday, July 15, 2019

Ana's Home

It's been an interesting weekend. Rosa and I went to Nickki & Jean's on Saturday, and my Monster came home earlier than she had said and we had a great day together on Sunday.

Ana and I planned some adventures for the week since she will then be off on a trip to Canada before returning again. But since we know our Summer-vacation time is more limited than usual with her starting Dental School, we are trying to pack a lot into the time we have.

I also got to talk to Nickki about my butt damage (which as of today is mostly back to normal). I told her what I think led to the degree of skin failure I experienced and she agreed that we needed to make sure that such extensive abrading did not happen again. I assured her that given my 40 years of experience in this area, that there are plenty of ways to ensure a genuinely sore bottom without crossing into that undesired consequence.

One strategy was to target a bit lower like Rosa does and another was to use sequential spankings for serious offenses in order to make them "un-fun".

As of today there are several "owed" spankings, one for behavior at Ana's Graduation ceremony, and three for work rewards (though as I've written before, these 'rewards' have been agreed upon to not be handled like rewards.) The deck project is postponed until September, and Nickki said that upon completion of that one I will get around 600 swats!

Last night I talked with Ana about a slew of topics and brought up the impending punishment Nickki intends to deliver sort of in her honor. Ana was curious as to what I did and I told her that it was a series of sarcastic remarks about the mundane, hackneyed similarities to ALL graduations and that I had been to so many, it was torturous. But I explained ....without really having to....that my eagerness to celebrate her achievement was never in question, even though Nickki took my remarks as disrespectful to her dear Ana. Ana laughed at how she knew that what I said was true and admitted that she sat there thinking their speaker was atrocious and some of the logistics were poorly planned. But she also admitted to being very touched by Nickki's protectiveness and could see her point too and said while she is not upset with me, she might have been had I made similar comments within her hearing that day. And so with Ana being Ana, Nickki being Nickki, and me being me......she thinks the whole outcome is just perfect all around.

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Unblock the Pop-up

Having trouble leaving comments from your phone?


I and several of my friends (including Ana & Nickki) have complained that they can't leave comments on Blogger forums like they used a few months ago. Both wanted to comment on the recent posts and couldn't. Here's what to do:

On your phone, go to SETTINGS, and find the SAFARI icon and go to it.

In SAFARI make sure you allow POP-UPS (You also want to be sure you are allowing: COOKIES, and CROSS-SITE TRACKING.)

I tried this myself and successfully left comments here and on Dan's Blog using my I-Phone......something I could not do yesterday!

(Maybe now I'll start seeing more comments? The post from the other day got 1400 views..... a Collected Submissions record! And yet, only my most loyal followers left any comments. Rather than be hurt, I'll just assume it was pop-up trouble. Something that can happen to any of us!) ;-)

Tuesday, July 9, 2019


While the actual spanking detailed in my last post may have ended at around 3 or so on Sunday, it is certainly not the end of the story. Plenty more transpired that would have made the initial post into more of a short novel. So in this segment I’m going to recount some significant things that occurred afterwards, and even a few things that were discussed prior to the event.

Going out of order, I do want to say, I actually had trouble sleeping that night due to how sore my bottom was! I had not expected that at all. I kept waking up and at one point, in the middle of the night, took down my boxers, turned on the ceiling fan, and tried to let the breeze cool me and help dry the abraded areas. I was surprised also at how long it took for the abrasions to scab. Only as of this morning has that happened. All through yesterday they were still 'wet' to the touch......and burning like fire!

A quick shot yesterday morning.....after a rough night.

Another thing worth mentioning is that she is like me in that she can easily distinguish between subtle aspects in spanking, ranging from pure play to pure punishment and everything in between. And we also talked about the topic that always comes up between me and Dan (and others) over limited consent on certain issues. When I explained my position, she understood completely and thought my very limited restrictions were not only reasonable, but not at all hard to understand and navigate. So I am now left with wondering whether explaining myself online leads to misunderstanding, or if it's a matter of the mindset of the listener? 

But let's go back to the rest of that day. The first thing that surprised me chronologically, once we got back to my house, was that instead of a dip in the pool soothing my bottom, it stung even more. The interesting part was that I was now the only male in a pool with four women of various ages, ethnicities, and body types. Marta even asked me about this very fact at one point, whereupon I assured them all that being in such a situation “did not suck”. Still, while Marta would have been fair game to include in on what had happened, only Rosa and Nickki knew for sure where I had been and why......with Nickki and I sharing a lot of little euphemistic teasing.

After some floating pool “beer pong” and conversation, we had a small dinner and eventually called it a night. At this point I drove Nickki back home. The ride gave us the opportunity to revisit the earlier events and exchange feelings about them. ( It was actually here that I learned about Nickki’s strong reaction to my “yes, Ma’am”. ) 

But it was also at this time that I found that my characterization of the punishment as a “gamechanger” was not shared by Nickki, who said that for her the “gamechanger” was the very first time Rosa and I approached her about participating in the Year End punishments via discipline slips. (you can read about this in greater detail in "Spanking by Committee" 1/15/17) It was at that point, when she realized that her personal opinions on my behavior and her choice for consequences were going to be taken seriously and acted upon, that she felt things “changed” between us. She said that doling out this particular punishment was more of a 'next step' in an existing progression, and not a departure. While I saw her point, I can’t help but make a distinction between recommending a punishment and administering one, but feelings can be subtle and are certainly personal.

She also said that she sees her previous efforts as warm-ups to where we are now. (Nickki had personally spanked me three times prior to that day’s punishment: the morning of the Halloween Party, the night I taunted her, and when I installed their faucet) And given some of what we discussed prior to the spanking, she now has some clear ideas on how she intends to deal with various things, from rewards for jobs done, to a very real punishment she is determined to give me with Rosa’s approval over a comment I made at Ana’s graduation that is bothering her to a large and genuine degree.

At first, during an earlier talk, she said she can’t wait until next year’s ‘year end’ to deal with that one EMPHATICALLY and I just said it was silly to stew over something that is bothering her so much for another half year when she has full disciplinary authority now. I asked her if she really thought Rosa would say ‘no’ to such a punishment and Nickki laughed and said, "of course not." So I said that with all the times we’ll be together why would you want to be harboring this when you can just spank me for it sometime in the near future, and get it out of your system? Nickki saw the validity of that and I think it also helped her see that my behavior was something she could deal with herself (with approval) in...or close to...the moment. 

And since another thing that came up during a previous discussion were alternative punishments and add-ons, she thought the idea of mouth soap for thoughtless verbal offenses was perfect for this case. And so, she said that with Rosa’s approval I can expect to be spanked good and hard for my graduation remark........all with a bar of soap in my mouth for good measure. 

(I can honestly say that given the number of times Nickki has brought this up, and the way she has already scolded me for it....repeatedly....that this is bound to be a genuinely angry, determined, punishment. And after this last one, knowing what Nickki is capable of, and how far she is willing to go, I do believe this one could be just as bad or maybe worse.)

As we were driving I thought a bit about the foot kisses. In retrospect, I also felt a little odd about having just impetuously sprung my impromptu gesture on her before we left and wanted to know if she thought it was a little too over the top or out of line. To my relief she assured me that not only did she not mind it, but that she "really liked" the gesture and found it powerful and flattering. 

Soon we were in her driveway and I asked if I could come in for a very short bit. She agreed and I smiled as I looked at my watch and asked how long it had been since when finished the punishment. Immediately reading my mind, Nickki blurted, “Oh yeah, you want to check out your current condition?” I admitted that given her ‘lasting effects’ goal, it might be appropriate for a look and a follow-up shot for posterity. And after drawing the blinds she unashamedly said, “Ok let’s see.” Here’s what I looked like 6 hours after the spanking:

Back in the living room where it all happened....6 hours later!

I pulled up my  pants and told her that I was now going to leave, but…..based on her very positive reaction to my foot gesture earlier, would she like a quick repeat to cap off the evening?  I was frankly surprised at her quick and positive response. The last time I did this she had on the same pool flipflops she had on now. But now knowing what I was going to do, Nickki actually slid each off and lifted each foot in turn just an inch or two off the floor. She raised them no more than that, which I found to be as symbolic on her part as the kiss was on my part. It seemed like a non-verbal: “yep, I beat your ass raw, and now, here you go…’s my foot….  go ahead and show me your appreciation”. ( I’m always amazed at how the littlest and relatively innocent gestures can be so dramatic.)

I took this earlier this morning. The spank-color is still there but faded and harder to see in the photo, but the scabbing for the abraded areas is now very easy to see.......and YES they STILL HURT PLENTY!

The last thing I’m going to mention is an overall comment Nickki made earlier in the day but after the punishment was done. It wasn’t a clever tease, or a bossy warning to behave. It was a simple statement with perhaps the biggest implications going forward. When we began evaluating the session, the first thing Nickki said was that “now I get it”.......meaning that up until yesterday she had various notions of what Topping could be like and had been toying with them in our past encounters. But this being a genuine punishment showed her what it meant to have real disciplinary power and what it felt like to wield it. She understood BDSM, but DD was a bit of a conundrum……..yet by doing it, she now realized what it all meant. So now that SHE "gets it", I'm sure I'LL be "getting it" too!

Me and Nickki: It's now easy to look at this innocent shot and imagine her leading me to a stack of pillows for a good whuppin'.

Monday, July 8, 2019


Every now and then in life, something happens that just alters our perceptions, or upsets a status quo. Yesterday was such a day for me and my “friend-with-disciplinary-benefits” Nickki.

It all started Saturday when I found myself with some privacy I had not had in days due to our house guests. My thoughts had been running from one thing to another and I ended up texting two of my favorite ladies (Ana & Nickki) about all sorts of things….including ‘lifestyle topics’. 

Ana eventually had something to do, and Nickki said she was in the middle of a craft project, which made texting difficult. I was about to just give up on conversation when she surprised me with a call, saying she would be happy to chat and that on speaker she could do so much better than trying to type out periodic responses with paint-covered fingers. It worked for me, since I prefer talking to texting, especially on nuanced subjects.

Naturally the conversation made its way to the owed spankings I had coming and how she and I might go about handling the backlog. But rather than go into detail on that, suffice it to say that by conversation’s end, she had contacted my Rosa to ask that I swing by on Sunday afternoon for an owed paddling…...though she told me that it was not going to be the reward spanking for opening her pool. What neither Rosa nor she DID tell me was that she had changed her mind about doing my old 2018 Closeout punishment jointly with Rosa and had decided that she would like to give me the entire, hefty amount…..numbering loosely, though not restricted to a target of about 400 smacks!

When I arrived, Nickki sprung the surprise on me early, but because we have discussed this topic many times, she was aware of my personal need for a few minutes to mentally process the gear-switching of submitting to a real, genuine, no-fun punishment when I was thinking of something either mostly fun or at least partially fun with maybe some real behavior stuff sprinkled in as what we jokingly refer to as “fuel”. So to help prepare I asked if we could talk a bit and Nickki agreed. 

The conversation ran the gamut from her intent, both of our goals, some advice on technique, and my own thoughts on the significance of getting a 100% pure punishment from her and how I thought it might further skew our previously egalitarian, though slowly shifting towards greater imbalance…...friendship.  By the end of what seemed more like a sincere collaboration than a mere conversation, we had arrived at a mutual understanding of what was going to follow: a hard paddling in which I had no say and no reason to speak (unless there was a real problem). Nickki would choose from among the various techniques discussed without seeking any further input from me. She said she would use the proscribed "400" as a loose guideline, but regardless of numbers......which she would not count.....she would not end the punishment until SHE felt fully satisfied with the results. One shared goal that neither of us had to convince the other of was that this particular spanking be significant enough to sting well past a few hours. It was to be one of those cliched “you won’t sit for a week”-category punishments, where that term was actually used during the course of our talk. The idea that this was ostensibly for genuine misbehaviors throughout the entire 2018 year, laid a foundation for significant consequences. Nickki felt that not only should the spanking hurt, but given the scope of a year-end comeuppance, that the sting should last for days. I had to agree, and said so, assuring her I would in no way resent such a punishment, but find it appropriate to offset my unquestioned guilt.

As my demeanor shifted to a more penitent state, I asked Nickki if she would indulge me in two favors. One was a request for a shot or two of us together at the end, so that I could use it for a blog post; they could serve as both proof that this story was genuine and ‘souvenir/trophies’ for us both. She agreed…..even agreeing to have her face revealed. The second favor was something brewing in my head about connection. The first spanking Nickki gave me was over her lap, but ended up a bit on the mild side. After that she found she had more leverage and power to strike from alongside me. I understood the practical logistics and agreed that the punishment would be more painful delivered that way, but wondered if……..when she felt I had already had enough…...would she consider concluding with an add-on of a token number of around 50 or so across her lap? I told her they could still be hard and punitive but that psychologically I thought this position was very maternal and bonding and a nice….though still painful….. way to end things. I further explained that I was asking for this now, while I was still brave, because I might not have the nerve to suggest it once the punishment concluded, but that if she agreed now, it would be an inescapable addendum, no matter how sore I was, or how I felt at the time. She immediately understood and agreed. 

 Nickki and me in her living room mere months ago.

Eventually a slightly awkward silence fell as we realized we had discussed everything that needed to be discussed and the time for action was at hand.  Nickki informed me that this time, since we had total privacy, I would be getting it right there in her living room. She handed me my apron (the agreed-upon condition for spankings outside of Rosa’s presence) and I went off to the bathroom to disrobe. 

We hugged briefly beforehand, and then I draped myself over a small random stack of pillows…..all while my bottom was facing towards her big, bay window, light pouring in and open to the street. (Now honestly as most people realize, it’s very hard to see into a house on a bright day, but it still had a bit of an embarrassment factor for me, making me feel like my punishment was almost a public event.) Then she began!

The first four stung but were bearable, but as early as the 6th or so, I already knew I was in for something unprecedented between the two of us. Nickki spanked like an angry Mom with a mission. Her paddle landed hard and at a pace just between what would have been slow enough for full processing and too fast to handle without having a coronary. Bearable but only barely: a perfect punishment pace. I was astonished at her determination to eliminate any chance that I find any part of the spanking enjoyable, playful, or fun. Anyone thinking that this was a play adventure between buddies would have soon changed their mind had they witnessed the spanking.

Given the haphazard pillow stack and my involuntary reactions to her swats, it was inevitable that I ended up slipping downward into a more prone position. The very first time it happened, I was already in a total mental state of penitent obedience, so when Nickki pointed out that I needed to re-position the pillows and myself, I instinctively responded with a “yes, Ma’am” and a scramble to realign myself to her liking. At the time I didn’t think too much about this because her request made perfect sense, and given my situation, there was no way I was going to do anything other than comply with the utmost respect and deference. However, I found out later that for Nickki this was the most memorable part of the entire paddling and became a powerful revelation of what was going on between us. She said it changed her entire mindset from merely being committed to a serious and deserved punishment to one of reveling in my sincere and profound submission. She found that my “yes, Ma’am” and almost nervous scramble to obey her had effectively elevated her status. She found it thrilling.

The paddling continued long enough and hard enough to provide several more opportunities for the need for my re-positioning, but after that first one, her subsequent ‘requests’ were much more like barked commands, complete with a tone of annoyance as she reprimanded me for yet again sliding forward and making her job more difficult.  Each time I would repeat my ‘yes, Ma’am” and desperately attempt to better re-stack the pillows and even struggle to try to give her  more access to my already burning bottom. I was far too preoccupied with getting through a punishment already significantly worse than I expected and attempting to do nothing to further annoy my disciplinarian to realize that each time I replied and scrambled to obey, I was feeding Nickki’s dominance to a powerful degree. 

After a while an emboldened Nickki began to not so much scold me, but rather comment repeatedly and emphatically on how red my bottom was and warned me about how this was not a spanking I would soon forget nor stop feeling the effects of. She sounded nothing like a bragging Top though but rather so much more like a mother who was truly determined to thoroughly punish her son. It was threatening but yet had a loving ‘you had this coming’ tone at the same time.

At one point she stopped, and changed her tone to one of questioning concern, as she pointed out that my left cheek was now sporting a wet oval within the overall red surface. I told her that she had probably succeeded in abrading the skin with her powerful and relentless strokes, but to reassure her I told her that such ‘skin failure’ does sometimes happen during a particularly hard paddling, and that while further spanking could very well lead to some bleeding, as it currently was, this would just be a particularly extra-sore spot that would eventually scab over and heal just fine. What happened after that exchange was my biggest shock of the day.

As I lay flopped over the pillows, she told me to take a short break …...but that we were not done. I thanked her and stood up, as she instructed me to sit in a nearby cushioned chair right by the bay window. Thinking nothing but gratitude for the break, I did as directed and sat down, giving my strict friend a nice reassuring smile that I was OK. What was my surprise when Nickki reacted with a loud “what? You can sit down after all that and smile at me?!” 

I tried to explain that my bottom was indeed burning but given the cushioned chair and her directions I was just being obedient, but Nickki felt that I should be wincing and sorry-looking...... not seemingly comfortable and smiling. And my break was suddenly cut short as Nickki literally yelled at me to get up and to get back over the pillows immediately. And I think if my first ‘yes Ma’am’ reply was Nickki’s groundbreaking moment, THIS one was  mine!

I found myself seeing my friend as a force to be feared and reckoned with. She had warned me that I had more coming so there was no way I could rationalize any objection to being ordered back into position, but looking back I realize that it was at this moment that she had me. Truly had me. And while I may have known more was coming, after the abrasion, I wasn’t looking for more. Still, I got into position utterly fearful and eager to give Nickki no further cause for annoyance, but at that point she had already made up her mind: “yes,” she admitted to me aloud. “Your left cheek is abraded…….but the right one isn’t!”.  She elaborated that if an abraded behind wasn’t dangerous, just painful, then she promised to make sure I ended the day with matching, equally-raw buttocks! And that’s just what she did! 

I have been abraded before, but it was always an unintended, though always possible, outcome of a long or hard punishment. This was the first time such an end result was used as a goal. Nickki was determined, forcefully attacking the same spot relentlessly until she got her desired matching oval. She even turned her attention to un-spanked areas at the outskirts of the usual target areas just to ensure an entirely red bottom. I just took it all feeling utterly defeated and completely at her mercy.

At one point I was so lost in just trying to process everything that I had forgotten about my earlier request to end the day OTK. And I rarely forget anything I say. So when Nickki told me to get up and to climb over her lap, I was again surprised……yet not surprised. True to her word, Nickki gave me a hard OTK before ending the punishment. For a few minutes she just let me remain over her lap recovering, but then it was time to get up. She took out her phone and snapped a few shots which you can see here:

Nickki and me in that same living room yesterday, about a yard from where the first picture was taken. Trust me.....that is one sore bottom!

We did a brief post-punishment hug with her in a chair (the same chair I'm sitting in in the first picture above) and me on my knees… I wouldn’t have to sit, and it was then that she complimented me on my compliance with what was obviously a difficult punishment. Nickki later told me that this moment was the only time she felt a brief wave of sympathy for me, not in any regret-based way, but rather the way a satisfied mother might feel once her intended spanking was finished. I then mentioned that I wasn’t trying to be fresh, but given my wet abrasions, would it be OK if I just stayed in my apron a little while longer to let the air cool and perhaps dry the areas a bit before we left. (we were both going to come back to my house to join Rosa, Marta, and our guests in the pool.) She agreed and even gave me some paper towels to sit on so I wouldn’t stain her chairs cushions. She also got the chance to palp her handiwork and admitted my buns definitely felt more like swollen hot leather than normal flesh.

A fairly good shot from Nickki's phone clearly showing the two abraded spots on each thoroughly, reddened cheek. 

We did some follow-up, with some feedback, reassurance, and specific thoughts about the punishment, including thoughts about how Nickki was now viewing the future. It was pretty intense. So much so that after I dressed, and just before we left Nickki's house, I made the last-minute gesture of bending and giving the tops of Nickki's feet one very brief kiss each. Be assured, despite my feelings on feet, this wasn't some wild bout of grovelling foot worship, but a measured gesture of respect and appreciation. Just two dry pecks as symbolic acknowledgement of how we both sort of know how the day has changed our respective statuses with each other. Nickki assured me she fully understood the significance of the gesture and definitely "liked it very much".

Despite her stern expression in the other shot, Nickki obviously couldn't hide her gleeful satisfaction for very long!

I will write more about this in a second installment as I process more, and also cover things that transpired when I took Nickki back home in the evening. But this pretty much describes the “main event” of 7/7/19 and the initial, key takeaways.

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Bikini fails

It seems lately that whenever I attempt to bring up DD-related issues, I end up feeling more and more alone. It's difficult enough to identify as a part of a small niche of people to begin with, but then to feel like the oddball among that small a subset is just too disheartening at times. It's not anyone's fault. I'm sure everyone is being honest in their views. It's just that it gets wearisome to always being the one voice saying the one thing that no one else can relate to. So.......

Enough DD. Fuck it. It's Summer! Let's move on to something almost anyone can find funny (including the people involved ) BIKINI FAILS!

Here are a bunch:
It happens to fitness models!

It happens to celebrity singers.

But it's probably most fun when it happens to 'just one of us'.

It can be educational.....just ask that boy.

Or maybe just a fleeting lesson in humility?

Refreshing proof we can laugh at ourselves?

Or  an embarrassing reminder of how physics works?

Perhaps it can be an unanticipated opportunity to show off one's waxing skills?
( and given the circumstances tell me her expression is not pricelessly adorable.)

But if these little temporary, and accidental flashes of embarrassment seem too humiliating to bear among friends and strangers bent on enjoying the joys of Summer vacation, one can always weigh that against what this young lady must be feeling:

I confess that I would not be able to resist in feeding this poor lass a nice hot dog from the grill......and no, her gag would not prevent what I had in mind. 

Thursday, July 4, 2019

Happy 4th!

In honor of the 4th I've decided to re-post a shot of my currently missing (and missed)  Monster:

Absolutely adorable!

I thought something as cute as Ana's tootsies seemed more appropriate than other expressions of the a military parade for example. ;-)

It is also the 15th birthday of one of our visiting house guests and we will be celebrating that as well! 

Best wishes to all, and a hope that we all try to remember what we are supposed to be striving for as Americans and how we should honor the memory of this day with a reaffirmation of what our Founding Fathers were risking their lives for.......which was not blithely handing over more unchecked power to a single con man happy to scrap the Constitution while photo-op hugging a flag. 

History will never favorably view a complicit public condoning the undermining of a free, democratic republic, no matter how many flags were waved and fireworks launched.

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Gone Fishin'

When it comes to my recent, short break from blogging, I guess I could have just hung out a "Gone Fishing" sign......but it would only be partially true. But I have gone fishing a bit, as this photo from last evening can attest:

I got this guy in  a manner that could well have been a scene in "Man's Favorite Sport" (link)

So after a slow beginning, and while wading about hip deep along the shoreline, I decided to walk to a different spot. Now where I usually fish the water is incredibly clear for a lake and you can easily see to the bottom in the shallower spots. As I walked past a half-submerged shrub, I saw this bass cruise placidly around to the front of it......literally within a yard of me. Rather than cast, I just swung my line (which was dangling down only about 24" in anticipation of my next cast) and flopped a rubber worm right over the bush and the bass hit it immediately. Since I had not even had time to cast, I now had a decent bass hooked and instead of reeling him in, I had to let line out just to be able to land him!

I don't know why this guy was in so close so early in the evening, nor why he had no problem grabbing a lure so inelegantly presented.....but he did. My son came a bit later and he and I both added a few more catches to our roster for the day, but none were as comical as this first one.

As for why I haven't been posting with my usual fervor and frequency? Well, where to begin? First, we are currently hosting two non-English-speaking guests from Peru for a few weeks and have been on a whirlwind of day trips. And while Rosa and I have had our share of blogable adventures, I just don't feel like writing about them. And in that vein, I also don't feel like writing much elsewhere either. I feel like unless I have something novel to share, anything else would just be redundant. And I'm also getting more and more suspicious of the veracity of participants online.

And, to be honest? The paucity of responses to what I thought were a pretty wide "something for everyone" variety of posts over the past weeks has left me feeling a bit "why bother-ish". I thought there were some fairly interesting adventures shared that seemed to fall flat. And if THOSE fell flat, what are the chances of something more mundane being of greater interest? I always appreciate the comments that are made, but if you look at the response rate, you would have to admit it isn't an encouraging ratio of work-to-reward for the person writing and hunting down images. But, again, I don't harbor any illusions about what blogging (especially during Summer) means these days. And one of those things is something I've written about previously, which is the immediate adulation bestowed on anyone female (or pretending to be) regardless of content, and that annoying trend seems to have only gotten more prevalent.

( I do sometimes wonder what would happen if I wrote this blog pretending to be Rosa? LOL )

And I've also been wrestling a bit with the whole "DD-thing", wondering if a stricter DD regimen is what I really want at this point in my life. I seem to be having more fun with more playful Femdom adventures lately, and I do still have the satisfaction of knowing genuine DD is always an option, though it hasn't been one utilized in a while. And I am almost sort of grateful for that. 

I also am going to be hosting an earlier than usual RenFaire this year which means doing quite a bit of writing and planning through July. And yes, look at that! it IS already July.....and NO, I will not be reprising "Jackass July". ( Hell, even if I was in the mood to do it, which I am most definitely not..... there aren't enough visitors around anymore to even make it challenging. ) So, I am going to just keep enjoying what I enjoy, and avoiding anything that irks me. I'll post if I feel like it. And I won't if I don't. It's Summer after all.....and there's plenty to do.