A companion blog for the Collected Submissions website of K.D.Pierre, writer, artist, and lifestyle practitioner of BDSM.
To see a full-size view of the images posted, just click on them.
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Today I will get down to the main problem with the vast majority of spanking cartoons, regardless of what style they are done in or with what level of technical excellence they are rendered: trite or obvious situations or captions. How many times have you seen a spanking cartoon like this?
Imagine for a moment, this same image without the captions. Any difference ?
If a caption adds nothing to the scene, it is ultimately unnecessary, and frankly.....makes the piece worse. And this type of cartoon accounts for about 99.9% of what's out there! How different is the sentiment in this next one from the one we've just seen?
Not a bad anime piece. It has its charm......but that caption? Really? Like none of us have ever heard THAT one before?
As I mentioned in the other sections, it becomes pretty obvious after a while that a lot of the images we are seeing are not really geared towards entertaining an audience, but rather towards indulging the cartoonist. The pieces are fantasies made visible for their own gratification, or explorations of scenarios otherwise unavailable to them.
Now I'm all for doing what one has to do. A lot of us have our coping mechanisms, but as I said before about not wishing to eat a meal prepared by a lousy cook, I also have no desire to be entertained by someone else's "therapy session". Just take a look at this one!
If someone told me that this was actually a page recovered from a serial killer's private journal, I'd have no problem believing them. You can almost sense the human hair clipping used as a bookmark between the pages.
But not everything trite can be written off as some sort of self-indulgent fantasy. Some cartoonists are very clearly TRYING to entertain. No better examples exist for this grand goal and equally grand failure than the "vintage" spanking comics from the past. Admittedly they are from a time where chauvinism was the watchword of the day and product advertisements depicted wives spanked over household mishaps. But while these notions are laughable in their myopic misogyny, unfortunately the comics themselves are not 'laughable' in the way they were intended to be. Here are a few "gems".
Wow! Now this is truly hysterical, right? (Anyone feel the urge to call 911? or vomit?)
Less disturbing......but equally unfunny.
Another rip-roaring knee-slapper!
And then we come to that especially hallowed land of the "spanked secretary" (and I don't mean Maggie Gyllenhaal). There are so many of these equally unfunny cliches that I'd need a book to document them all.
Or a trip to HR, the police, and a massive lawsuit.
You must have missed that class. Given how many of these cartoons there are, I'm sure it was part of the curriculum at one time.
So popular is the notion of the spanked secretary that even after the 50's and 60's ended, the images continued right up until today:
Much more modern and amazingly..... just as humorless.
Even KamiTora, (whose work I often like) couldn't resist putting his own spin on the secretary theme. At least it's a tiny bit refreshing to see the genders reversed.....but it's still nothing clever or funny.....and there's that massive, spurting dick again. He really loves THOSE doesn't he?! Another example of an add-on that doesn't have anything to do with the joke....but could possibly add a very 'special sauce' for the sandwich.
I suppose I could go on for days and pages with examples of cartoons or comics that fall painfully flat, but I think you all get the point. But rather than point out the clunkers, I will end this series with a bit of advice to those out there looking to entertain with their work. This advice is not geared towards anyone for whom their work is private and therapeutic but those truly wishing to amuse an audience.....and hopefully an audience who understands the world of spanking .
1: Unless there is a very good set-up, a spanking in and of itself is rarely a punchline. Way too many cartoonists treat it as such. And maybe to a vanilla audience it might work as one......but to a spanko audience the 'spanking' is a given. To make it amusing you need something else.....something clever. Spankos already know that a spanking hurts, that Tops are in charge, and that you can expect a spanking for misbehavior. These are not punchlines, they are givens. Givens aren't amusing.
2: If you have a clever idea, you don't need to have the illustration skills of Norman Rockwell to make an effective comic, but know your limits and develop a style that works for your skill set. A clever word bubble emanating from a circle head on a stick body is way better than some lame-ass "Ow, it hurts" remark over a beautifully rendered figure.
3: If your idea is NOT clever, adding motion, CGI, or any other fancy technique is not going to magically elevate the piece.
4: Less is often more. Margaret Mitchell wrote only one novel in her lifetime.....but that one was Gone With the Wind. When you run out of ideas, stop until you have another good one......unless of course you are being commissioned to make more, or as stated before, your work is your personal therapy.
5. Avoid too much unnecessary crap. You don't need extra fetishes, nudity that thwarts the point, or whatever other little tidbit you feel compelled to add that has nothing to do with the gag.
My best advice is to just think of your own experiences, mishaps, personal musings, uneasy truths, or whatever, and be honest with your audience. Share your 'truth' with a little scenario a fellow spanko can relate to, see themselves in, and chuckle or grin at.
In conclusion, I would like to end with a request for my readers: PLEASE! If you know of any really witty and clever spanking cartoons or comics that you personally love, share them with us! You can e-mail them to me and if I agree with your assessment, I will post the comic here .....and give you credit for discovering it.
Yesterday we discussed the various technical maladies afflicting the simple spank-oriented cartoon. Today we will deal with subject matter. Subject issues: 1. Nonsensical pairings 2. Too many add-on quirks 3. Gratuitous nudity 4: Trite, obvious situations or captions
1:Nonsensical pairings. How many times have you seen a spanking situation depicted with characters from other sources whose situation makes you scratch your head over whether the cartoonist had an understanding of the characters' personalities?
Take this one: two popular characters from Seth McFarlane, Francine Smith and Lois Griffin, both of whom have had rather clear spanking stories and references attributed to them right in their very own, publicly broadcasted shows. BUT if you recall, Francine was the one who wanted to be spanked, and Lois was depicted dominating Peter. Yes, there was that one scene where Lois bent to be smacked and Brian their dog obliged. But if you were going to pair these two, the most logical dynamic would be the reverse of the one shown.
In your wildest dreams can you picture anyone submitting to Norm Fell's nebbishy 'Mr. Roper' let alone Janet & Chrissy? Especially with his way more dominant-looking wife around?
And THIS one just defies explanation of any kind.
It seems using known characters in spanking situations is a very popular subject. Just search any favorite cartoon and add "spanking" and you're bound to find something. Most are terrible in execution, but at least make some sense in terms of who is spanking whom. Endart has so many 'celebrity spanking' images that I sometimes look at them wondering where he finds the time.......not just to render them all, but to have watched ALL OF THAT TELEVISION?! I swear, I sometimes look at pairings he's done wondering, "am I supposed to know who these people are supposed to be?"
But there are also superhero spankings, Disney character spankings, video game character spankings, and an entire UNIVERSE of Manga character spankings! Oddly very few ever rise above the most obvious situation where the mere pairing is supposed to be enough to sustain the image. (Attention cartoonists: It's not.)
Here are a few spanking scenes derived from the Resident Evil series of video games to show what I mean:
In terms of humor or appeal, this particular scene means nothing. It is utterly gratuitous with nothing about the characters and their current roles meaning much of anything.
This is a little better. While there is no caption, any fan of the game would instantly relate to this as probably something anyone who has ever played as Leon with Ashley tagging along and getting in the way would have wanted to do at some point.
But THIS one actually is humorous for anyone who ever played with these characters in a co-op mode. Especially with knives drawn or a rocket launcher in hand.
So there it is. Pairing known characters can be humorous (albeit mildly) but merely slapping characters together in a situation with ass slapping is just nonsensical and .......boring.
Too many add-on quirks. One distracting trend that clearly illustrates how much of spanking art is driven by the cartoonist's own fetishes rather than a genuine attempt to cleverly poke fun at the 'truths' inherent in being a spanko is their tendency to always include their pet "thing" in many if not all of their work. And if your work is just meant to appeal to a niche within a niche or only yourself, then, well......you achieved it! And there are some very talented folks out there who are guilty of this. (H-Bum has his 'she-males', Kamitora has a combination of she-males, and ridiculously-endowed guys, etc.) And then there are these:
Sorenutz has countless images of spanking and domination cartoons......all featuring giant Amazons and abnormally tiny men. After the umpteenth one, I can't help but want to yell, "enough! Can't you do anything else?"
Spanking Toons does a very nice job with rendering, expression, and overall charm......BUT EVERY SINGLE SITUATION IS ROOTED IN AGE REGRESSION! I'm OK with that for a change of pace, but every time?!
So, while I'm not averse to seeing some little extras thrown in every now and then, I do think the possibility of that 'universal spanking truth' told cleverly, suffers when there are all these little quirky add-ons tossed into every cartoon.
Gratuitous nudity. We don't need to spend a lot of time on this one. It's a simple, and VERY common issue, not just in cartoons, but in all media representations of spanking. Now, I get that a lot of spanking is sexual and I myself have drawn naked couple spanking. And in that context, mutual nudity makes sense. But not when the spanking is clearly supposed to be punitive.
This take-off on the Traveling Thornberrys could have been charming......if Mom had just kept her fucking clothes on!
Scantily-clad spankers might appeal to some, but they need to make sense and not just be some gimmick to show more nipples than necessary......or worse, ruin the entire point.
There is one more category to go: the trite and obvious. But THIS one is HUGE! So I will leave off here for now and attack that one another time. (I'll need the energy of a fresh start and blank page to deal with what is actually THE #1 problem with spanking cartoons. )
DISCLAIMER: As someone who has drawn spank and kink-oriented cartoons and illustrations, I naturally have opinions on how they should be done. And let me make that clear from the outset: these are MY opinions, and even though I feel strongly about them, it doesn't make them right for everyone. But be warned, you know where you are and a bit about how I go about things, so the fact that these are merely my opinions and preferences is not going to prohibit me from making some sometimes less-than-kind and often sarcastic remarks about styles or subjects you may hold dear. ( Just relax and have fun. If anyone wants they can lambaste me in their comments....as long as they're funny. I don't mind laughing at myself and my own quirks. But please refrain from lecturing me about why I'm wrong. I might be....but this series is about pet peeves rendered in an entertaining way.....not an art lesson. So I don't really want a 'tolerance lesson' in return.) If you are like me, you probably enjoy cruising the internet in search of entertainment. And if you're really like me, that entertainment is often going to be kinky in nature. If you've ever bothered to visit the main website, you've probably already seen my contributions to the world of "kinky cartoons", so you probably have a good idea of what I feel works. But for the sake of this series, I'm not going to reference my own work at all....especially as examples of what a good spanking cartoon should be. No, there are plenty of good ones out there done by others......but it seems there are WAY more out there that fall flat for any number of reasons that grate on my already frazzled nerves. To provide a general outline of what's to follow, I hereby offer this brief opinion on what a GOOD spanking cartoon should be: Amuse, and perhaps simultaneously titillate the viewer with an image alone or image and verbiage that cleverly strikes a chord of relevance or relatable situation without resorting to gimmicky rendering. To be REALLY good, it should depict something in a quirky way that hasn't been done before, and especially not a thousand times before. To illustrate, here a few favorites:
So, now that we are clear on what is good, here is the flipside........
Everything that’s wrong with spanking cartoons 101
Disappointments fall into two categories, technique & subject. Technique 1. GIFs 2. Manips, cgi, & colored photos 3. Just poorly done
Subject 1. Nonsensical pairings 2. Too many add-on quirks 3. Gratuitous nudity 4: Trite, obvious situations or captions
I don't feel like I need to spend a lot of time on "technique issues", since some are obvious and others are just my preferences, so let's just get that out of the way so we can move on to other, more interesting, subject-related abominations. The GIF. My objection to the GIF is simple: WHY?!?!?!?!?!?! What do you think you've accomplished by making your subject move....albeit pathetically? Just look at this one!
It's like one of those old, pull-string toys, where you had some wooden hinged figure on a stick and pulling a string made their arms and legs flail. Even when I was 5 that only was worth an extra second or two of added interest at best.
The motion adds nothing ......except motion. Perhaps GIFs are intended for viewers suffering from ADHD? And GIF-makers ( or GIFuckers as I like to call them ) impose this atrocity on anything they can get their hands on. Just STOP! (I fear someday someone might actually turn one of my pieces into a GIF.....and I'll have to leave home, track them down, and photograph chopping their arms off so I can turn the amputation into a GIF that could well go viral.)
Manips, CGI, & colored photos. My objection here is not a rigid one. I'm sure there are some that are done well. I even have several in my collection, and two of our regulars here (Franco & QBuzz) have used manips to render their own particular sexual quirks into a series of manips that are uniquely theirs in style. But while I can understand using these techniques to render something not typically available in an original rendering, these do depict fetishes that are theirs and not mine. So, while I understand it, I'm also not going to be drawn to those subjects that much.
But within the realm of more typical spanking-subject fare, percentage-wise the ease at which these artificial images can be created has resulted NOT in more wonderful cartoons to enjoy, but enough surplus crap to clog the Holland Tunnel. So my objection here is more: "if you are going to do this, just do something worthwhile" rather than just a prejudice against these techniques. (even though to be honest, that is a part of it as well.)
CGI and GIF combined. I think even with advanced arthritis a spanker in real life could do better than this.
Typical WTF moment. This is just so bad on so many levels.
Poorly donejust speaks for itself. I understand that everyone is free to indulge themselves in any pursuit they wish, but I myself don't really want to eat a meal prepared by someone with no talent for cooking while listening to a tone-deaf person sing. And as such, while I can appreciate all sorts of drawing styles...even very minimal or rudimentary ones......there has to be something there. For me, if someone had a clever spanking cartoon idea and little drawing ability, I would much prefer stick figures with the captions than a distractingly-bad rendering of something overly ambitious.
Now here's one that is just bad all-around. The rendering is not merely bad but borderline disturbing and the captions are ridiculous. This person would have done better to have just cleaned out their closet the day they did this. It would have been not only an accomplishment for them, but we would have been spared ever seeing this.
And that concludes the first part of this series. Next time we will go into "subjects" as our objectionable criteria.
Recently, on Dan's fine blog, my mention of a bed-top, D.I.Y. restraining device prompted multiple requests for a look. As such, this morning I slid the sucker out from under the bed where it's kept and took some long overdue photos. And......here it is:
Initially the device collapses into a somewhat portable state, allowing it to be stored under a standard bed.
But all it takes is a gentle lift to position the cushioned fulcrum to whatever height is required or desired.
Another angle shows the multiple straps used to secure me into it, preventing me from being able to move, voluntarily or involuntarily.
There are also very easy to click open or click shut restraints for the ankles.
Here you see the various notches which allow for the position to be raised or lowered. The metal clasps are there to quickly secure wrist cuffs.
A rear view showing the cushioned (pool noodle covering a dowel) fulcrum and the straps for my thighs. The ankle rests and restraints are also easily seen at the base.
I threw a pillow on it to give an idea of how it works. Imagine the pillow is me from shoulder to butt. My wrists would be secured to the clips in the lower right corner of the picture and my thighs immobilized by the straps you see below the pillow.
The entire thing is basically pine 2X4s , dowels, and smooth plywood. It is very sturdy. Its main drawback is that, while portable, it s a bit ungainly. Yes it can be set up by one person, but that person can't be a frail one. Also, as you can imagine, the victim can manage to help secure themselves with a number of the available restraints, but it does make it easier if the disciplinarian helps.
Once in my own body weight, secured to the already sturdy frame, makes escape and even movement impossible. The strap near the fulcrum alone does an amazing job to keep me still.
Admittedly this device is not needed for most spankings. But it is very good for special situations. I particularly welcome the immobilization if I'm going to be punished with the A&G "White Lightning" switch.
A pretty nasty synthetic "switch/cane".
Feel free to make one of your own......but please don't ask me for specs. The pictures show pretty clearly how simple this is and the dimensions for this one were tailored for me, and I'm 6'3". It's really just a 2X4 frame with a pivoting plywood platform. Also, I never bothered to stain or paint mine, but it could be something worth doing at some point. But if you really want a portable, yet sturdy restraint at a pretty low cost, this one is hard to beat.
Lately the term “mansplaining” has been getting used, overused and abused to a point of absurdity. When defined as:” when a man interrupts to condescendingly explain something to a woman who is already knowledgeable of the topic” I totally agree with the frustration. However, there are a few points I’d like to raise: 1: Not every accusation of ‘mansplaining’ is in fact ‘mansplaining’ and as such the accusation is not a valid counterpoint to a debate just because of the genders involved. 2: This act occurs EVERYWHERE. It happens between people of different ranks, different races, different ages, etc. Why has no one complained of "womansplaining"? It happens all of the time. (As a guy quite competent in a kitchen, you have no idea how many times women have tried to talk to me about cooking like I was an idiot, or their own idiot husband. But to me it's just funny.......not a cause with which to take up a buzzword banner to dismiss whatever comes out of a female's mouth as belittling.) The issue of ‘splaining is complicated. I used to be a manager who had to give directions to people and then hope they executed my instructions correctly in my absence. Initially I gave people more credit than I should have and gotten burned on more than a few projects that, being under my direction, led the blame back to me. After a while I assumed nothing and explained EVERYTHING. Even then I still made sure to check and monitor because even with extensive explanation, things still ended up being executed improperly. However, among every crowd there were always those who were quite capable of doing the job and resented the ‘splaining in an eye-rollling “do you think I’m an idiot?” sort of way. And to be honest? No, I didn’t automatically assume everyone was an idiot, but I was the one responsible and track records of past endeavors left me suspicious of everyone. 'Splaining was my job, and given that I'm male, I suppose that made my instructions "mansplaining". (On a side note, over the years I worked with several people who eventually went on to become managers and supervisors themselves. More than a couple admitted to me later that they used to hate or resent when I would explain something that seemed obvious to them, only to find out now in their own leadership roles what I had learned earlier: as a manager, like it or not, you sort of HAVE to or risk being surprised by how many DON’T know what to do without the instruction.) However, there is also a tendency of people with one experience to assume no one outside of their exact situation could possibly understand the things they do. Old folks do this to young folks all of the time and it’s understandable. But how many times have you told your parents that they didn’t understand what it was to be young? (But they did...because they once were.) Conversely, there are probably plenty of times that an older person assumes a younger person doesn’t possess a particular experience….when they do. Another frequent one lately that NO ONE will touch (so I will) is “blacksplaining”. You see it on panel discussions and even debate platforms. An issue of race comes up and the person of color…….regardless of their actual experience or knowledge… will use their skin color to trump whatever a non-ethnic person is saying. (Harris and Biden?) This is as offensive to a thinking white person, as mansplaining is to a competent woman. There are certainly issues where one’s identity, whether it’s race, handicap, age, or whatever, affords experiences somewhat exclusive to those areas…...but not all of the time, and certainly not with every issue. A veteran certainly knows what war is like better than a civilian. A slave (of any ethnicity) understands the degradation of slavery infinitely more than a free person (of any ethnicity). But it’s not a matter of mere skin color or uniform. A noncombat office clerk veteran probably has more in common with a civilian than someone who went through the experience of frontline battle, just as people of color like Clarence Thomas or Kamala Harris probably have less in common with a disadvantaged black citizen than a poor white person from an impoverished area and broken home. And even if your situation provides you with experience, it does not automatically impart the knowledge necessary to discuss an issue in terms of resolution. It only means you know what it's like to be a victim of the situation. Which takes us to similar, if not identical experience. There are two points here: to a degree no two people's experiences are exactly the same, but with enough overlap the experiences can be very close. The second point then being: how close do the experiences have to be before they are essentially relatable? Take discrimination. While discrimination based on a particular ethnicity is probably similar for those of that ethnicity, could not a person of a different ethnicity still relate to the issue based on their own experience of discrimination based on a different criteria? And if that person is trying to help, is that not to be encouraged? Sometimes I feel like everyone just wants to have the ultimate, exclusive handicap. "You don't know what it's like to be me!" No, but we are both human and we probably have some overlap if either of us has any capacity for empathy whatsoever. I suppose my issue with these complaints is that often the accused party is not trying to dismiss the person but identify with them. In the past this was a good thing. Not anymore. Whether the person is on your side or not, how dare they try to relate to your own unique and exclusive experience?
Lyndon Johnson, a tall, white, and somewhat bigoted (he routinely used the n-word in private) guy from Texas, signs the Civil Rights Bill into law. HOW DARE HE? Perhaps the Black community should have refused to go along with this until a Black president was elected?
(I can see how this is a sensitive area. Imagine having the audacity to tell someone descended from a people who were once regarded as subhuman, utterly untrustworthy, and unemployable that you know more about discrimination than they do? And yet I’ve rarely seen an Irish person play the “splaining” card on this one.)
I truly believe that while mansplaining and other ‘splainings’ can be real and do occur, they can easily be dealt with without resorting to the ‘buzzword du jour’. We used to have something a few years back that always worked in these situations. They were called “facts”. It’s too bad they don’t mean much anymore and buzzwords are now a more effective counterargument, because all one needs are facts to explain almost anything. And in discussing complex issues, facts can be more important than anecdotal experience.
Lately I have been a little obsessed with the idea of both accidental and intentionally punitive or humiliation-based exposure. And I'm not sure why. I do know I have been having recurring dreams where the specific situations change but the unifying theme is that I am in a public and even professional setting.......while naked. Interestingly in some of these dreams my public nudity is regarded as inappropriate as it would be in the real world, but in most of them, my nudity is kind of like this "understood quirk" among the others in my dream. It's like the nudity is unusual....(no one else is) but no one is freaking out over it either. It's like it's an acceptable condition for me.
Anyway, dreams aside, I have to admit to having a lot of exposure-based fantasies lately fueled no doubt by some of the images I've come across. Here are a few of my favorites:
As I said, in most of my dreams, my nudity doesn't really cause a stir.....much like this city girl's exposure. Just another day in the city, right?
But a lot of photos are like the first one.....daring nudes in outdoor, public spaces. This one.....in a mall.....hits a little closer to home since my job was in retail and malls were my second home. In my dreams I am always running around taking care of work-related things in a store......all while completely naked among clothed colleagues.
But unlike those daring folks who choose to stroll out into the clothed world naked for their own particular thrill or amusement, there is a different sort of appeal to images where the nudity is not 'fun' for the person exposed.
I particularly like these public humiliation shots that are out there on the internet.
"Public Disgrace" is a company who specializes in these situations. But after a while, even these lose appeal as the commercial aspect detracts from the situation.
I like this especially due to its non-commercial flavor and the sub's uneasy acquiescence.
And even though this one is clearly a posed, studio shot, I love the idea of it.
And while I've shown this one before, it remains a favorite for SO many reasons. Though posed, the vulnerability element, with the potential for punishment inflicted from a stranger, is thrilling.
As is the case with this one......which was not created in a photographer's studio, but possibly somewhere very real. The paddle and switch leaning against the wall behind her add true menace to her situation. I wonder what it would be like to be rendered so exposed and vulnerable.....especially with willing people around who'd be happy to oblige her chalked request? And in that regard, I wonder what actually happened to her after this shot was taken?
But without question, this one is my favorite! I can't help but see this as a dorm stairway. And while she is smiling for the camera, I can't help but wonder at the potential for some real embarrassment depending on who comes up those stairs. And given the bondage, it's not like she's able to go anywhere. This seems like one of those "it seems like a deliciously risky but fun idea when agreed to" that might feel different once it plays out. Those clips alone open up a world of painful possibilities. And I also think she's adorable.
But I suppose given my feelings, and the fact that I had no problem displaying all of these charming ladies to illustrate a point being made about myself, that it would only be fair to take the added step of adding one more image (that has been posted before with a caption and later deleted) to sort of 'put my money where my mouth is':
Oh well.....maybe not the same as the fantasies running through my head lately, but definitely within the realm of 'embarrassing'. I'm not young enough, muscular enough, or endowed enough to delude myself into thinking this shot is flattering......just the humble truth. LOL