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Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Cartoon Peeves

DISCLAIMER: As someone who has drawn spank and kink-oriented cartoons and illustrations, I naturally have opinions on how they should be done. And let me make that clear from the outset: these are MY opinions, and even though I feel strongly about them, it doesn't make them right for everyone. But be warned, you know where you are and a bit about how I go about things, so the fact that these are merely my opinions and preferences is not going to prohibit me from making some sometimes less-than-kind and often sarcastic remarks about styles or subjects you may hold dear. ( Just relax and have fun. If anyone wants they can lambaste me in their long as they're funny. I don't mind laughing at myself and my own quirks. But please refrain from lecturing me about why I'm wrong. I might be....but this series is about pet peeves rendered in an entertaining way.....not an art lesson. So I don't really want a 'tolerance lesson' in return.)

If you are like me, you probably enjoy cruising the internet in search of entertainment. And if you're really like me, that entertainment is often going to be kinky in nature. If you've ever bothered to visit the main website, you've probably already seen my contributions to the world of "kinky cartoons", so you probably have a good idea of what I feel works. But for the sake of this series, I'm not going to reference my own work at all....especially as examples of what a good spanking cartoon should be. No, there are plenty of good ones out there done by others......but it seems there are WAY more out there that fall flat for any number of reasons that grate on my already frazzled nerves.

To provide a general outline of what's to follow, I hereby offer this brief opinion on what a GOOD spanking cartoon should be:

Amuse, and perhaps simultaneously titillate the viewer with an image alone or image and verbiage that cleverly strikes a chord of relevance or relatable situation without resorting to gimmicky rendering. To be REALLY good, it should depict something in a quirky way that hasn't been done before, and especially not a thousand times before.

To illustrate, here a few favorites:

So, now that we are clear on what is good, here is the flipside........

Everything that’s wrong with spanking cartoons 101

Disappointments fall into two categories, technique & subject.

1. GIFs
2. Manips, cgi, & colored photos
3. Just poorly done

1. Nonsensical pairings 
2. Too many add-on quirks
3. Gratuitous nudity
4: Trite, obvious situations or captions

I don't feel like I need to spend a lot of time on "technique issues", since some are obvious and others are just my preferences, so let's just get that out of the way so we can move on to other, more interesting, subject-related abominations.

The GIF. My objection to the GIF is simple: WHY?!?!?!?!?!?! What do you think you've accomplished by making your subject move....albeit pathetically? Just look at this one!

It's like one of those old, pull-string toys, where you had some wooden hinged  figure on a stick and pulling a string made their arms and legs flail. Even when I was 5 that only was worth an extra second or two of  added interest at best. 

The motion adds nothing ......except motion. Perhaps GIFs are intended for viewers suffering from ADHD?  And GIF-makers ( or GIFuckers as I like to call them ) impose this atrocity on anything they can get their hands on. Just STOP! (I fear someday someone might actually turn one of my pieces into a GIF.....and I'll have to leave home, track them down, and photograph chopping their arms off so I can turn the amputation into a GIF that could well go viral.)

Manips, CGI, & colored photos. My objection here is not a rigid one. I'm sure there are some that are done well. I even have several in my collection, and two of our regulars here (Franco & QBuzz) have used manips to render their own particular sexual quirks into a series of manips that are uniquely theirs in style. But while I can understand using these techniques to render something not typically available in an original rendering, these do depict fetishes that are theirs and not mine. So, while I understand it, I'm also not going to be drawn to those subjects that much. 

But within the realm of more typical spanking-subject fare, percentage-wise the ease at which these artificial images can be created has resulted NOT in more wonderful cartoons to enjoy, but enough surplus crap to clog the Holland Tunnel. So my objection here is more: "if you are going to do this, just do something worthwhile" rather than just a prejudice against these techniques. (even though to be honest, that is a part of it as well.)

CGI and GIF combined. I think even with advanced arthritis a spanker in real life could do better than this.

Typical WTF moment.  This is just so bad on so many levels.

Poorly done just speaks for itself. I understand that everyone is free to indulge themselves in any pursuit they wish, but I myself don't really want to eat a meal prepared by someone with no talent for cooking while listening to a tone-deaf person sing. And as such, while I can appreciate all sorts of drawing styles...even very minimal or rudimentary ones......there has to be something there. For me, if someone had a clever spanking cartoon idea and little drawing ability, I would much prefer stick figures with the captions than a distractingly-bad rendering of something overly ambitious.

Now here's one that is just bad all-around. The rendering is not merely bad but borderline disturbing and the captions are ridiculous. This person would have done better to have just cleaned out their closet the day they did this. It would have been not only an accomplishment for them, but we would have been spared  ever seeing this.

And that concludes the first part of this series. Next time we will go into "subjects" as our objectionable criteria. 


  1. I'm with Dan. The first one is sweet, The second one is funny, but he's using the wrong hand!

    I agree with you about GIFs. The motion adds little; if anything, it's distracting.


    1. Thanks for chiming in, Hermione! Considering your long blogging history, perhaps you have some good ones saved you'd like to share? I swear, anything beyond the trite and obvious is VERY hard to today's installment will go on to show.