[ The following post is reprinted from the private blog. In light of the difficulties too many key people have had with access, the private blog will probably become defunct....at least until such time as the annoying bugs can be worked out. This post was originally presented on August 15th, so you can all figure out where it fits in the overall timeline of events.]
Other than the side-by-side position (Jean does a straddle) this is a pretty convincing take on what I probably have coming !
The impending “reward” for the door sill was set at 100 whacks by Nickki, however, Jean is the designated spanker for this one. And now having both felt her first time attempts with the black slapper, and seen her reaction to what it actually feels like to administer a spanking, I am forced to accept that any thoughts I may have had about her being either timid or reluctant are now rendered void. And realizing that what is probably going to happen is likely to be a pretty painful experience, I find myself wondering about how I feel about this development with my other friend.
As I have said before, Nickki always seemed interested in this and she took to it like a duck to water, even now understanding the differentiation between ‘play’ and punishment in a visceral way. But Jean is not Nickki. So my thoughts on her as a spanker are different.
The best way to describe Jean is that she is in some ways a big kid. She loves to play games and she loves to have fun. But she is by no means immature. She is a responsible supervisor at work and was once even Rosa’s boss…...just like me. So to characterize her a “work hard/play harder” person is fairly accurate. And I think it is that same philosophy she will probably bring with her on the day she spanks me.
At first, Jean just did not ‘get’ any of this ..........and said so. She listened to Rosa and me explain it and nodded along with a kind of intellectual acceptance of it and perhaps even a “since this is coming from my Rosa, I trust what she is telling me is true------BUT still...........” sort of acknowledgement. Unlike Rosa and me, Jean is deeply faith-centered, but in a very inclusive and supportive way. After all she adheres to a religion that essentially denounces her very being, and yet she has that modern, "East Coast Catholic" way of taking what one likes and ignoring what one doesn’t “menu-style” of religion. And for her, it works.....and I'm all about letting folks do what works for them.
So in a lot of ways she is a non-traditional traditionalist, a sentimental romantic with a tomboy exterior. She can slide from one position to a seemingly incongruous opposing one just by taking her own curving but well-worn path…….a path anyone else might get lost on but which she navigates instinctively. She is a person who just ‘does’ and as such, seems to enjoy life and manages to maximize the fun and minimize the hurt.
So how does this type of personality color my situation? Well, unlike Nickki, who has now mastered the ability to reduce me to a regressed state of sorry penitent with just a scolding, Jean does not seem to see her role as anything more than a fun perk. It’s like, she is saying “hey this is cool! I have the paddle and you have the exposed butt, and the rest is just not that complicated” ….all with the beaming smile of a kid who just got to be the leader in a game. I can't see her being as scolding as Nickki.....though I don't think it's necessary in her case for me to still feel "at her mercy", or......LOL....to end up with a blazing hot hinder.
For me this difference in personality teases a different aspect of my overall submission to a spanker. Since there is no behavioral component that I can use as a rationale for punishment, I can’t go into it thinking, “oh well, this could be bad, but...hey, I deserve it.” And unlike even the situation I described with Osito, there is not even any “background issue” to give the event deeper meaning. No, it’s a simple, straightforward matter of two friends who are going to enter a room essentially the same, and exit very differently. This is interesting to me.
But as different as Nickki and Jean are, and even as differently as I view my interaction with them, I must admit to having the same desire to have the “scales tipped” with her as well. And it is a feeling that I am a little embarrassed by (but not in any strong, bad way) but that I also sort of like. So I am going to try to encourage this aspect as much as I can. Since Jean always was VERY egalitarian about everything before, but now that she finds she likes whacking a butt, I am wondering how this will change her attitude towards having the upper hand with me without ever having to change places?
I am thinking that the best way to put this to a test is to respectfully encourage Jean to ‘cut loose’ with her 100 whacks when the time comes. Maybe I’ll suggest that she divides the 100 into 4 installments of 25 so that each set is given with fresh enthusiasm? (I have always thought that spankers with a large number tend to lose steam, so smaller sets could result in all 100 being pretty crisp!) She did a very good job with the slapper the first time she used it and that was only a trial run. So maybe Jean won't even need any "encouragement" to deliver a good roasting? And that is more than fine with me. Nothing would please me more....even if in the moment I am regretting ever thinking it.....than for Jean to get a kick and power rush spanking the daylights out of me! LOL
Whatever transpires, my goal is very similar to the one I had with Nickki: to end up in a situation where I feel totally defeated and yet eager to obey and please my tormentor. With Nickki this took a few tries, with moments in each attempt that came closer, but after “gamechanger” the transformation became complete. There was no playacting on my part when Nickki issued her snapped commands. I freakin' SCRAMBLED to obey! Now Nickki is utterly confident in being firm and strict, expecting my respectful obedience no matter what. She reached that point with the extensive punishment, and she handled the most recent ‘rewards’ just as authoritatively. It will be interesting to see if Jean reaches that same point or if her spankings take on an entirely different flavor and tone.
I'll guess I'll find out when she lets me know when to come to finish the door! LOL