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Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Catching up.

I am typing this from a new HP laptop which arrived just before I had to report to Nickki for the punishment she referred to several times. It is difficult to explain the relative ease and consequent appreciation of using a keyboard where every letter works. I do want to say to my fellow bloggers that, while I did manage a few comments here and there, I feel way behind on my online interactions.....almost to a degree of intimidation. I really don't know how catch up at this point and maybe I just shouldn't try, but rather just pick up here and now.

However, it might not be a bad idea for me to list.....in bullet form.....some of the things that have been on my mind during the absence after posting the last Interview post:

-Rosa and I have a hopefully "nothing-to-worry-about" issue that we ARE currently worrying about. It has colored a lot of recent moods.

-Online interaction is feeling a lot like that "old gray mare" lately: "ain't what she used to be". I have noticed this seems to be a calendar-related trend for the last few years with interactions becoming frustrating to me right around October.

-As for October......Halloween is here. In retaliation to having Covid rob me of my annual party, Rosa and I have been hosting one couple events each weekend to safely compensate. I have unofficially declared the entire month of October 2020 "Halloween" rather than merely the 31st, turning a negative into a positive.

-I did have a punishment session with Nickki last Friday, and I will post about that separately soon.....but not today.

-I have several projects in the works that are directly competing for my time and attention and given bullet #2, winning out over computer time. I'm hoping this new laptop rejuvenates my 'online interest'......but that will be something that remains to be seen.

-Politics have drained me emotionally and physically......but not in any way that promises resolution post Election Day. For me it's more about people rather than politicians. And people......unfortunately......offer little prospect of getting smarter, becoming less reliant on tribalism, or just mercifully going away simply because the date says 'November 4th'. I have heard too many interviews with the average "person in the street" on a multitude of topics that have left me apoplectic in bewilderment. I'm weary. 




-I recently tested negative for Covid antibodies, despite having had a bizarre incident during the peak in NJ that closely resembled descriptions of lower-impact Covid incidents, and did NOT resemble anything else I had ever experienced.  My confidence in these tests? Low. My opinion of how this pandemic has been handled? Lower.

-Trump. (To those who understand I don't think I need to say more......at least now in this bullet format.) 


-

Friday, October 9, 2020

Interview pt.2

The following is the second part to my interview with Nickki: 

KDP:-We have just discussed some of the more serious aspects, let’s now explore some of the ‘fun’ ones.........
How much of the ‘pain aspect’ do you see as practically necessary for the activity to be effective, and how much do you just find fun?

Nickki: I don’t see it as PAIN anymore. In the beginning, yes, but now I see it as a loving gesture of chastising my friend, or paying my friend. Your butt needs to be red to be effective. PAIN is a wasted emotion.

That's pretty red!

KDP:- -Give us your feelings about the appeal of the following situations and tell us which situation you like best:

--a straight up ‘payment’ for some chore..   Nickki: I love the payment for chores. It is my appreciation payment

KDP:--a rule is found to be broken ...    Nickki: Rules are harder because I have to release my pain completely in order to stop paddling you and sometimes I hold on.

KDP:--I did or said something to genuinely piss you off ....  Nickki: Pissing me off is happening now..... answering these damn paragraphs! I had to go to the library to help decipher them, And you are not George Stephanopoulos. 

Clearly not.

KDP:--You have spanked me in front of Rosa and Jean, (though not both at the same time [yet, lol]) and in private. Does having another person around change your approach or enjoyment in any way? Which do you prefer and why?

Nickki: Yes, having someone in the room changes the dynamics because they aren’t where we are. I am completely comfortable with telling you as I spank what a bad boy you are, but I would be uncomfortable doing it in front of my wife or your wife. So I can spank, but no animation will occur if they are there.

I found this cartoon  while back and merely altered a few colors...something I'm usually opposed to doing ..but it served its purpose. 

KDP:--Lap versus a stack of pillows. Both methods are usually used by you in the same session. What are your thoughts on each?

Nickki: Both methods are used by me and I like both. Over the lap is comfortable for soothing you as ‘my boy’ as I paddle you. Your roles change. You are ‘K’ when over pillows and you are 'my little boy' when over my lap. It’s calming to me to finish with a lap paddling.

again, not an accurate likeness..... but definitely accurate in "feel".

KDP:--Speaking of versus, you said you liked my ‘rock/paper/scissors’ analogy where I said we're in an arrangement where we are in the  permanent roles of Nickki =paddle & KD=butt …...and paddle always beats butt. I have admitted this is a powerful reality for me, what are your thoughts?

Nickki: Yes, my role is large in this arrangement. I do have power....... just like this interview IS unbelievable. Your questions are stated within a 60 word paragraph and there are 25 paragraphs! I want to beat the hell out of you for this! But this is who you are!! I have a charming personality obviously for you to even trust me to be part of this. You obviously feel safe with me and this is why we are here at this moment.

KDP:--The experience of spankers could not be more opposite than that of the person being spanked. Spankers are in complete control, see everything going on…..(the kicks, the clenching, & jiggling cheeks turning red),  and other than tired arms are fairly safe from pain. Those being spanked have limited control (mostly just prior input over the issue or safety issues at the time of the spanking), only see what’s in front of them, and end up with a sore, tingling bottom.  As the spanker, what unique insights could you share about what it’s like to be the one swinging the paddle? What do you enjoy about being in your role?

Nickki: Yes, my arm does get tired and that is the only pain I suffer from the spanking. The perks are set from the onset of the relationship. You are bottom and I am always a Top. My paddling you for payment or discipline is a given I have the control. If you want more you must ask. If I hit too hard you must tell me. I am the deliverer. I am butch, hear me roar!!


KDP:--Another huge difference between roles is ‘pride vs. embarrassment’. Someone in a dominant role can often feel pretty smug about having the power to declare a spanking is in order, possibly even bragging a bit to others. Even if the submissive party is content and comfortable in their role, they really aren’t in a position to be smug about it. If anything the person who gets spanked is usually embarrassed to openly admit it. Everyone I’ve discussed this with…..even my own mother…...admitted this is an inescapable fact. What are your own thoughts about this “proud to be the spanker/embarrassed to be the one spanked” dichotomy?

Nickki: In the beginning I didn’t tell anyone. I was embarrassed big time…...one for doing it to you, two for seeing your bottom half, and three, seeing my friend Rosa, knowing what I had done. It helped you talking to me more and more about it until I came to the ‘payment plan’. That works for me so well. And then I do want to please you because you pleased us, me and Jean, with the love and quality of your work you do for us.  You save us from calling the plumber, electrician, and candlestick maker. I told a few select people…..two in my office (men) and made a mistake in telling my father who was not pleased. But the most important person is my own and my comfortability….because it won’t happen if I’m not comfortable.  And yes, I’m proud to be the spanker.

 
Clearly!

KDP:--I have already told you about my feelings of admiration for those like you, Rosa, Jean, and others who have the confidence, determination, and guiltless ability to take charge, expect obedience, and spank hard when they choose to. But “Tops” can only BE Tops if they have individuals like me who submit to them. You have seen me submit to orders to bare my bottom, position myself to your liking, endure  your smacks, and follow your rules. While this is expected behavior for someone in my position, I can assure you it’s not always easy. What would you say to me or other submissives out there to reassure us that our submission is appreciated?

Nickki: It is an honor to work out  an arrangement like this. It helps to clear the air in an old-fashioned way. While the old-fashioned way has been demoralized to being abuse, it is nice to know there’s that good old-fashioned whoopin’ taking place somewhere. We applaud our submissives for your endurance of old-fashioned values.

Old-fashioned values in action.

KDP:--You have gone from someone with limited experience to a rather accomplished disciplinarian. I remember that you were a little intimidated by my experience level versus yours, but that no longer seems to be an issue. What have you learned about giving an effective spanking and what advice would you give to someone starting out?                                                           

Nickki: An effective spanking is based on my discretion. My level of emotions at the time of the spanking. I am the giver and I control the level and amount. Do what you are comfortable with as a beginner and let the recipient’s punishment guide your level of intensity because they are being spanked for a reason……..whether it’s punishment, love, or reward.


This concludes my interview with Nickki. Hopefully it was as enlightening for you as it was for me. I conclusion I would like to express my deepest thanks to Nickki for taking the time ......which was quite a lot......to complete this as thoughtfully as she did!

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Interview with Nickki. pt. 1 of 2

The following is the first part of  interview I did with Nickki. This was posted while jumping through numerous technical hoops to get around the computer glitch plaguing my laptop. However, not every glitch was fixable...particularly spacing. Please be forgiving.


KDP: 
Prior to our current arrangement there was definitely an earlier time when Rosa and I revealed to you and Jean how we live. As someone who already had some interest in activities like these, & knowing us as you did, what was your reaction to learning we lived this way? 

Nickki: "I was surprised, you see all of the advertisements of dd and never think your friends are part of it. My preconceived notions of dd do not fit you and your honey. There is no way in hell I could have guessed this was a way of life for you guys."

KDP:-You had once told me that you felt our relationship changed significantly NOT when you first spanked me yourself, but when you first were able to decree a “year-end” punishment.  How did suddenly having that level of authority feel for you?  

Nickki: "I had not expected to be asked to participate in a number for the whole year. When I said ‘50’ I thought that was a lot, then you informed me of my niece’s amount and then realized ‘this is serious, and he wants a number’. I felt closer to you because you included me in a family tradition. I still didn't quite understand it then." 

KDP:-Now that you have the ability to deal with me yourself, how has that changed or contributed to those feelings? How would you contrast a situation where you knew something you said would get me seriously spanked by Rosa versus a situation where you were going to deal with me yourself? 

Nickki: "Oh I'm loving being on my own. I only had the one experience of you mouthing off and that was Ana's college graduation. You were terrible and I was offended. I wanted you punished so I gave the number ( via slip), but in the end I gave the punishment myself. It's  much more fulfilling taking care of business yourself. because we see each other every other month. I don't receive satisfaction from Rosa doing it. I need to see you flinch and squirm. That shows the respect and regret you have."



  an  'alternate reality Nickki'  smiling over her results for Ana's Graduation punishment.

KDP:-How does an arrangement like ours compare with the kinky BDSM like you’d see in an online video? 

Nickki: "Our arrangement has ‘zero kinky’, but I may have stepped into it thinking of dressing in black and wearing a face mask. So I guess I’m very open to being happy in my role by adding a bit of mystery. You have done things in conjunction with bdsm like asking permission to speak, kissing my foot, and serving me a drink. Your built-in strapping table and soap in mouth?….wow. I feel, now that I think about it, it has become more and more bdsm. Especially my thoughts of how to punish you and embarrass you while doing it. But I don't have any sexual inclinations while performing these tasks. You’re not a brunette with hazel eyes and luscious boobs."

Definitely not me.

KDPAre the differences between a kinky submissive person scheduling a spanking session to get an experience they desire and a submissive person getting spanked, maybe unexpectedly, for a genuine misbehavior significant? 

Nickki: "Hell yeah! The two are completely different: kinky vs. submissive."

KDP:-You have told me that others you have told out this have insisted that this type of thing had to be sexual. Many folks  believe that even within the DD community. How would you explain how you are able to separate what we do from something more appropriate for a bedroom?

Nickki: "Yes, only one other person told me there is sexual gratification on your part. It's easy to separate. I have no sexual needs or desires for you. When I'm with you it is all business. My joy is being fulfilled by wiping that ass. I am a lesbian and have sowed all my oats and have no desire to be with anyone but my wife."

KDP:-We live in a society that tends to associate pain and inequality with something bad. As the dominant friend who is ‘in charge’ and expects to be obeyed, and who inflicts significant amounts of pain when called for, how do you resolve that seeming contradiction? 

Nickki: "To inflict pain has always, and will always be, associated with something  bad. To me, those that find satisfaction in spanking are looking for intimacy and reliving their childhood. To me these individuals feel close to the spanker because they're spending time with them, giving them that spank to correct their behavior, and to free the spanker of guilt."

What it's like to feel like chastised kid again.
KDP:-We have already talked privately about race, but I'm sure at least some readers see our respective skin tones as significant. How would you respond to that? 

Nickki: "I’m mocha and you’re white. We are friends. Our difference brings us together. It works and it has not  been an issue or really a thought. I focus more on the fact that you really have a small butt."



KDP:-Besides race, we both have some other clear differences  that traditionally would slant our roles in the opposite direction of what it is and the fact  that they are reversed  probably plays some small or large part in the appeal of our roles. I will lay out a few and let you respond to them as to whether they are a factor for you or not, and if so, how and to what degree: 

Nickki: "I have always been aggressive, dominant, outspoken, fierce. I flip my wife in bed, so you're nothing to handle for me."

KDP:I am the male and you're female,........Nickki: "no contest"

KDP:I am older than you by a bit. Nickki: "I love being in the company of older people. I enjoy them and learn from them……..no contest."

KDP: I am physically taller and probably stronger.  Nickki: "Please! no contest. I don't see that at all." 

KDPAm I leaving out a difference  you would add? Nickki: "none of these things. I don't have any feelings for these issues. I am not bothered or feel any challenge. Actually I never thought of these differences. There is no challenge."

KDP:-What do you think was your biggest surprise when doing this? (Like something you didn't expect.)

Nickki: "I guess I was surprised when I understood what dd entailed and how comfortable I fit into not being bossy, but being aggressive towards my friend’s husband….now that’s a kicker. I still feel a bit uncomfortable with talking to Rosa about it, so I don’t. I say very little. Because there were times that I dished out a punishment and she was there watching me. It was uncomfortable. I would feel free to express my motherly self. I have known Rosa for 10 years prior to you meeting her and it is weird that I'm uncomfortable speaking to her about my sessions....... which I do with her approval. I even call and ask, but don’t go into details with her."

 KDP:-In general, now that you have a good bit of practical experience, if you had to describe the advantages of such a lifestyle, what would you say the benefits are for both parties…….aside from the obvious ones of each getting an experience they want? And then specifically, in our particular arrangement, what do you think is the biggest benefit for yourself? and in your opinion what do you think is the biggest benefit for me? ….again aside from the obvious.

Nickki: "For anger management this is great to solve and resolve. This is great for those who have thick skins to handle this. It is great for the closeness of your partner. It is great for someone who loves being in control of all aspects of their life. As a Top, my benefit is that I dominate my friend’s husband. Who does that?! I’m in an arrangement that gives me respect and the upper hand. Who wouldn’t love this as a Top? I gain the fixes I need and I pay for them in paddling. Shit…..where can I go wrong? The benefit for you is continuing to enjoy your dd lifestyle with more people. You have gained two more individuals that have control to punish or pay you. It must be fun to walk on shells knowing you must try not to offend."

KDP:-Over the course of our many adventures, what was…….

Your favorite memory?

Nickki:….."looking at your (altered Halloween Lemax) village and saying to myself…’hey, that’s me right there spanking that boy!’  "


KDPYour proudest moment?

Nickki:….."beating you raw because you now know what I’m capable of."

Me with those raw spots clearly on display!

KDPYour biggest regret?

Nickki:……."soap and the machine….. too much, not necessary."

KDP:-You and I have privately discussed the oddly unexpected feeling of comfort in our roles. (like when I tell you that despite the pain, I feel very ‘at home’ across your lap) Please tell our readers about your thoughts on our mutual admission of this feeling unexpectedly natural.

Nickki: "When you’re across my lap it’s very comforting. It feels like this is the better fit. It feels much more LOVING. Not so much intimate, because we aren’t, but JUST LOVING."

This my not look like us, but it captures the flavor pretty accurately.

KDP:-Readers here know that when you spank me, you lecture and scold while striking. Tell us about that process and how it makes you feel.

Nickki: "As to the flavor, it reminds you of why we are doing this and informs you of the correct way to behave. I talk because it’s what I do. I like talking to scold better than payment."


KDP:-You have been both instrumental…..and successful…..in getting your wife, Jean, to be more active in all this. On the couple of occasions where you got to watch her spank me, what were your thoughts?

Nickki: "My wife will spank if she’s loosened up. She will pay you back for any work as long as I’m there. For her the payment/work paddling is what she will do for a job well done."

KDP:-With regards to “Jean as spanker”, I have told you some of my thoughts, please share some of your own. (it can be anything)

Nickki: "Jean as spanker" will wear you out but she is not motherly at all…….a strict disciplinarian."

Jean wearing me out.

This concludes the first part of our interview. The second part is devoted to the more 'fun' aspects of ttwd. I'm always hopeful ( though from experience, not overly optimistic ) that a post like this will generate some lively discussion .....not just a compliment (though those are nice) but an actual discussion. ( especially since a LOT of work went into this...especially from Nickki ). We will see. Stay tuned for part 2!


Wednesday, October 7, 2020

letters

 


Keyboard letters continue to e  problem. AutoCorrect fixes some stuff but writing is tedious. replacement laptop is coming. The interview is doe but is ot fully trscried. Still, given the lack of participation here lately,  will it eve matter? Doubtful.