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Thursday, November 5, 2020

Nudging the bear

Being complicit in one's own comeuppance is a complicated exercise. On one hand you know you deserve it and you know the person in authority thinks so too.....but because they do, you also know that any sign of encouragement is going to act as a green light to what will end up worse than what you might want. But since the spanking is probably inevitable, why not just resolve oneself and surrender to the moment......and even help it along?

Not long after posting the two-part interview with Nickki, she informed me privately, publicly, AND REPEATEDLY of her genuine desire to kind of 'get even' for the ordeal she felt she went through doing it. Despite her recent confidence though, she seemed hesitant to just flat-out declare a spanking for it. One day we talked about the seeming disconnect between her threats and an actual declaration that a spanking was coming and she said something along the lines that I seemed resistant to such a resolution since I had been adamantly explaining how my interview was proof of my high opinion of her rather than something to be upset about. I thought about that and while she was correct, my explanations were never intended as resistance to punishment.......just explanation. So, in order to restore her confidence, I conceded that she not only could spank me as per her right, but that being as truly upset as she was, that she most certainly should!  That was all she needed and she quickly informed me that a spanking would indeed be coming my way. 

But shortly after that phone conversation......where I felt......due to a bout of embarrassment...... I was not quite as clear as I wished to be about my feelings... I sent a rather long and revealing text:

So, on Friday, October 16, I headed over to Nickki's house so that she could vent her frustration onto my ironically compounded by my own request that she do so without mercy or hesitation. Interestingly the session was scheduled to coincide with her lunch break, so that she literally left work to meet and beat me.......and then head back. 

And that's pretty much what happened. The first half of the spanking took place with me bent over some cushions on her sofa and was unmistakably punitive. As a sort of sarcastic reminder of the complexity of the interview she had to deal with, Nickki insisted that I address her as "Doctor" whenever I responded to one of her scolding questions. I tend to struggle with responses when spanked, and at first my "doctor"s were a bit slow in coming and initially inconsistent, but Nickki is not one to be disobeyed and she wasn't kidding about how she wished to be addressed, so employing insistent wallops when I hesitated or forgot, she expertly urged my compliance admirably. Soon she had me "doctor-ing" away like crazy having effectively spanked the resistance out of me. 

Nickki spanked hard and fast right from the start, until I felt I couldn't process it all or even breathe. A panting request for a bit of a break was mercifully honored. Nickki then resumed with a slightly slower pace but with equal intensity......which served to respect my physical limitations while in no way diminishing the efficacy of the spanking. The adjustment may have allowed my heart rate to return to a more reasonable cadence, but there was also no way my bottom was going to be in any way spared! She repeatedly declared her desire to make this spanking memorable.

The second half took place in a position that is becoming increasingly powerful.....over Nickki's lap. It must sound funny to hear me say that I find this position comfortable considering how it in no way diminishes the discomfort these OTK sessions result in.....but at least psychologically I do feel very connected to Nickki as she continues to spank. I even find the process of climbing over her pillow-enhanced lap and mutually settling into place oddly nurturing. But despite the tangible caring in her positioning of me, Nickki soon made it clear WHY I was over her lap........and it wasn't to be massaged! As she claimed in the interview I was now being punished for, she no longer sees me as KDP once astride her lap but rather 'her little boy' and she instantly turns into one angry and determined "mom".

Already sore, Nickki now paddled my butt into twin fireballs of sting. To be honest, as much as it hurts, I can't help but appreciate how she can spank me into a state of utter compliance and remorse. She truly is one of the best spankers I have ever known in my life.......and I've known a few.

She also again employed her newfound technique of lifting a buttock with one hand thereby exposing the tender crease between cheek and thigh to clear attack from her paddle. ( if you want to see an obvious change in Nickki's spanking technique, check out the earliest shots and compare them to the most recent ones and observe just how much further down the redness extends!) The spanks to this area hurt a lot and result in a profound soreness.......right at the spot where one feels it when sitting or walking. As a result, I find this technique to be extremely indicative of the punitive intention behind Nickki's efforts......and consequently very powerful and humbling. When I feel her hand on me lifting, I know what is soon to follow.

Eventually the punishment came to an end, we cuddled a bit, and Nickki then headed out back to work. And as part of our routine, Nickki took a couple shots of her handiwork prior to leaving:

Me in the more recent "spanking frock" I now wear for my spankings with Nickki.

Hot, sore, and BLISTERED!

Before concluding this post, I would like to elaborate a bit on what was for me a very powerful moment in this particular exchange ........which led to an extended period of nervous anticipation......and that was the moment I hit the send icon on the text posted above. Confessing a desire to BE punished, and punished severely, is always a difficult admission to share. In this case the proof is that I had a rather productive verbal phone exchange with Nickki prior to the text, but still awkwardly and nervously danced around the full admission of my feelings. I felt I couldn't quite bring myself to say ALL of the words. Only after concluding the conversation did I feel compelled to correct my evasive discourse with a direct and thorough text.

The easiest part was to clearly type out my feelings. Actually sending it was a different story. It was not because I thought my words would be unwelcome. The "Nickki of 2020" is not the novice who first took a paddle to my behind in 2018, but the confident-to-a-point-of-brazen friend-turned-disciplinarian you can see in the recent interview. Further proof are the recent stories and pictures. So I knew my text was not some bit of encouragement to a reluctant spanker who never goes quite hard enough, but an admission of complicity to someone who already made her desire to roast me for the interview abundantly clear. I wouldn't be poking a sleeping bear but one already evidenced by her comment left here the day prior to our meeting:

>>>>>>>>Tomorrow I’m spending my lunch time spanking a little butt. It is my desire to make this session memorable due to the depth of my pain at having to subject myself to writing a thesis again at 54. My grade was an A. But I’m not satisfied. So I hope warming (oh I’m sorry wrong word my mistake HEATING) the buns of my friend KDP during lunch will Suffice. I will let you all know. Nickki<<<<<<<<<<<

So .....with a fluttering stomach.....I sent the text with full knowledge of what it would mean, namely guaranteeing a harder-than-I-would-probably-want spanking that, now with my admission, would be very hard to back out of. And after seeing her reply, for the next few days, felt not like someone who bought a ticket to a scary rollercoaster, but someone who was now secured in the seat and heading to the crest of the first drop. On the day of the spanking, I sat in my car outside Nickki's home waiting for her arrival feeling as nervous as any kid sent up to his room to wait for his mother and her hairbrush......especially a kid who knows from past experience just how thoroughly his "mom" spanks. ( I think it's fair to say though that I don't think a kid subject to spanking feels much more than the fear and nervousness I mentioned. I don't recall ever feeling admiration.... yet that IS a feeling I do hold now for the spankers in my life. I know I have a long history with spanking and as such it is not always easy to make an impression on me unless one is determined to do so. Nickki is certainly a determined disciplinarian.....and as a result I know any spanking she decides to give me now will end up being a true and genuine, leg-kicking, ouch-inducing scorcher. And rather than resent that, I find myself absolutely awed by it. I guess each of us really are where we belong to feel this way.)

I left feeling just as juvenile.......sorry, sore, and acutely aware that my actions had consequences unlike those for a vast majority of people of my age. Consequences that I have learned need very little provocation. It occurred to me that while I am blessed with a loving but strict wife, I am now also privileged to have a sort of loving replacement for my mother in the form of a dear friend who has little hesitation and even less guilt in taking an energetic paddle to my butt when needed!  And as for that complicity we talked about? Yeah. It's been a couple of weeks now since that spanking and I blush to admit that I find myself already wondering when I might be summoned again and for what reason. 

Revenge of the Poked Bear. Take THAT, Goldilocks!


  1. I love you my friend.
    Always nasty nickki MD lol

    1. Same here! I'm glad you liked the post. Collected Submissions is going to make you an internet star. LOL ;-)

  2. You are lucky to have such good friends in your life. It is so hard to find people who you trust so much.

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Comment deleted for being a nonseXquitur.

      (Jack, you know better. You were doing so well for a while there. Please go back to commenting without the personal anecdotal stuff that has little to do with the post or risk more deletions.)

    2. Sorry, will learn from this again.

  4. Wonderfully insightful with regard to the head spaces associated with spanking; especially when the disciplinarian is known to be strict.

    The same with Nikki's comments vis a vis the heads apace of a Disciplinarian.

    I can totally relate with KD regarding getting the words out of my mouth. There were times when I had a spanking coming and "wanted it" for the gift of resolution and Aunt Kay knew exactly what was going on and simply waited until I confessed my need (which just about killed me to do).

    1. Thanks, Tomy. I held off on this post until I was ready to do it justice. I simply was not in the right frame of mind before being relieved with some good news here at home. I am glad my efforts seemed to have resonated with you and others. Even Nickki shared more of her positive feelings over this post with me privately yesterday. She is feeling very good about herself and our somewhat unique relationship right now.

      As for the words? People who know find it difficult to ever imagine me at a loss for words or in a state of stammering embarrassment......and yet? I am just as prone to these feelings as anyone else.(Those who manage to make me stammer or blush seem to get a particular kick out of being able to produce such a reaction in someone as usually reserved and in control as me. )

  5. "So .....with a fluttering stomach.....I sent the text with full knowledge of what it would mean, namely guaranteeing a harder-than-I-would-probably-want spanking that, now with my admission, would be very hard to back out of." I have definitely been there. In fact, as recently as a week ago.

    1. I suppose it's no surprise we guys in these situations often find ourselves doing similar things.