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Sunday, January 24, 2021

Tables turned (Part 1 of 2)


A while back I had the pleasure of interviewing my dear friend with spanking privileges, Nickki, for a very candid two-part post. (October 8th & 9th of 2020) Readers may recall that the interview also came at a particular cost to yours truly, due to Nickki's annoyance at how extensive my questions were. But while she complained about the complexity, her answers were fresh, honest, and enlightening. So when I ended up with my butt being roasted, while referring to Nickki as "Doctor", I have to say it was well worth it!

A few weeks ago Nickki and I discussed the possibility of her getting further 'revenge' by turning the tables on me and interviewing me. She liked the idea and eventually sent me a very varied and interesting array of questions. What follows is that interview:

My lovely and extra-special interrogator!

Nickki: If you could be born a woman what would be your name, demographics and what career would you have? 

KDP: Well being a woman in this speculation seems the least concerning. I could handle that especially if I was born a woman. It’s a coin toss after all. So would be my ethnicity or demographic. I don’t think I would have a preference except if that choice put me at some severe disadvantage….in which case, why would I want that? And I’ve always liked the name “Hannah”. As for a career? If I get to choose anything why not President or maybe successful movie critic or writer?   

Of course in a purely fun alternative universe, and in light of this being a kinky blog, maybe I should choose to be a  “brunette with hazel eyes and luscious boobs” who is also a Lesbian working in the same office as you, so you could bring me home and have Jean and you use me as your naked submissive servant… day bossing me around as I serve you drinks in an apron, the next time doing fix-it jobs (since I’d still be handy) in nothing but a tool belt. And everything with hard frequent spankings used as both reward and punishment? And if having a cute Lesbian around was an issue with either of you, you could always have me locked in a chastity belt with whomever is the most jealous of you two holding the key. LOL ( That was just too good an opportunity to let pass, dear. )

An alternate universe Jean locking up an alternate universe me, so there's no hanky-panky while I'm doing my chores. LOL

Nickki: My perfect day would be……

KDP: .........devoid of back pain, worry, and full of love, financial security, health, and companionship. If all of those happened, the details of what I’d be doing would be inconsequential.

Nickki: Were you ever rejected due to your dd desires in a relationship? what happened? 

KDP: This one is a little complicated. My first serious dd relationship involved me marrying the first girlfriend to spank me after I confessed my interest to her. We were both content with the lifestyle for many years, and she seemed quite content in her role and took full advantage of it. But then one day she just didn’t want to do it anymore, putting further strain on a relationship that by that time was already beginning to falter for several other reasons. I felt betrayed and eventually we divorced, not primarily because of this change but it definitely played a part. Conversely, I’ve never entered a relationship without making sure the other party was open to kink and it was a strategy that worked very well to ensure there were never any issues because of it. (I’m also pretty good at sensing and attracting people who are also kinky, so much so that I simply can’t recall anyone who when told wasn’t willing to give it a try.)

Nickki: I see you as a jack of all trades. Have you always been inquisitive as a child. List your hobbies and interests. 

KDP: Yes. Over the years and up until now I have engaged in painting, stained glass, cartooning, writing, hunting, camping, fishing, tennis, freestyle frisbee, squash, shooting, archery, fencing, model-making, customizing action figures, making dioramas, keeping pet snakes, playing pool, cards, gardening, construction and woodwork, rock and mineral collecting shell collecting, action figure collecting, antique collecting, comic book collecting, gun collecting, mixology, cooking, baking, cake decorating.  My interests include art, music theater, politics, literature, science, history, philosophy, sexual deviations, sociology, and just about anything else that catches my attention.

Nickki: If you could be a bad boy what would you do?  eg speed, leather jacket, sex. 

KDP: I used to harbor a fantasy of having made certain different choices early on where I moved to NYC and lived a wild lifestyle in the BDSM community. But now that I have seen the results of the more responsible choices I actually made, while I can’t say I have no regrets at all, I think I’m glad I decided to not be a “bad boy”. Besides, I ironically find that more moderate-leaning people already see me as a bad boy of sorts…..especially in terms of kink. 

Nickki: What brings you the most peace, gardening, building, fishing, hiking, and why?

KDP: Fishing! Nothing relaxes me as much as fishing, and this has been true since I was a kid. I’m not sure why it calms me but it does, whereas other activities may be more stimulating or exciting, fishing brings peace. Maybe it’s the water. I gravitate to water and always have.

Me relaxing. (Ana took this shot a while back)

Nickki: Have you ever dreamed one of your closest friends would be a black lesbian? 

KDP: I can’t say I dreamed it, but if you understood how I think and approach life and friendship, it is not a big surprise either. I had quite a few Lesbian friends in my “past life” and always felt a strong connection to them. In fact at least half of my female friends were Lesbians. I loved how their being Lesbian provided the opportunity to interact with females (whom I LOVE) without the complication of sexual messiness or even annoying, “girly” behavior. I have simply always gravitated towards Lesbian women. 

As for the “black” part? Again color is not a negative issue for me, but I do think it is more of AN issue for me within our special arrangement than it is for you, and we explored that a bit in your interview.  Maybe being a white male having grown up through very racially tense times in the 60’s and then gravitating very much to the obvious injustice Black people have been subjected to for decade upon decade, has made your color more powerful to me than just something neutral? I have always tried to treat ALL people with respect, and my family came here as immigrants well after slavery and Poles historically never owned slaves, at least in my family, so I can’t say I am plagued with any sort of overwhelming “White Guilt”, but… be brutally honest, I do feel your ethnicity contributes towards some “added edge” to your authority. It makes no sense logically. I feel your personality, caring, and overall confident dominance are all WAY more important to how I feel submitting to you. But for some damned reason, especially when you scold during a punishment, the ethnic “style” of how you scold and what you say adds a layer that is not present with Rosa or Joann, or any other white Tops from my past.  The unmistakably Black flavor I hear in your reprimands, reminders to behave, boasts of how sore I am going to be,  all makes me feel like I am now inescapably in your world and beholden to your unique experience as a woman of color. 

And while I have always found myself striving to be obedient and compliant when punished, with YOU I actually feel like I am frantically SCRAMBLING to obey. No one else has made me feel that way. When you have had to remind of a speak with permission rule, or when you wanted to be addressed as “Doctor” or early on when you would become impatient with my sliding out of position, the unique style to your commands and scolds prompts a desperation to obey. Afterwards I am always a bit humbled and even a little embarrassed at how you can reduce me to this scrambling-to-obey-you state. I do believe you’ve seen this and heard it in my voice. It’s not fake. So yeah, weird as it may be, it’s a factor.

Nickki: If you won the lottery of 5 million dollars and the government took half what would you do with the rest? Detail.  

KDP: Well $2.5 million is certainly not $250 million. LOL. I would not turn it down and it would certainly help, but I think an amount like that would have to be carefully managed. My first act would naturally be to financially fix stuff for myself and my immediate family. But I do think there would be enough to help out some friends too. But beyond that I think 2.5 million would ‘go’ quickly. Now if you amended this to what I would do with an enormous amount of money like the $250 million I mentioned, THAT would lead to some potentially interesting ideas.

Nickki: If you were a movie star born 1920-1950 who would you be and why? 

KDP: I hope you’ll accept someone 5 years earlier and let me go with 1915, the year Orson Welles was born?  Watch some interviews with him and I think my feeling of kinship towards him becomes obvious. He once did an interview on the character of Falstaff in Henry IV and Henry’s “I know thee not, old man” rebuke…..and it was brilliant! He was more of a thinker first and actor/director second…..and what a thinker! 

Orson Welles

Nickki: When you first met me did you think we would be at the point we are at?  

KDP: No, not when I first met you. There were simply no clues to imagine such a thing. But…….over time enough was mutually revealed to make me think it possible. And then, after approaching you for the first time on the “Year End” punishment tradition and seeing how you handled that,  I have to admit that I sensed something in you that makes where we are now seem like a logical conclusion. 

Models representing where "we are at". LOL

I would also like to add that the fact that we ARE where we are means more to me than whether it was predictable or a total surprise. I am awestruck that I can discuss a home project with you in one minute, share a hardship the next, then laugh over something funny the next, and then end up making some slip up on something and have you summon me to your home for a serious spanking. It’s an astounding relationship.

Nickki: What was your first impression of me? ( honestly)

KDP: I believe we met in a parking lot with me picking up a very young Ana from you having had her for a vacation trip. You seemed fun, extremely protective, loving……..and just a tad loud. LOL (you insisted on honesty)

Nickki: Moe, Larry or Curly, which one are you?  Choose. 

KDP: Curly definitely. Moe was very unfair in how he handled the money the Stooges earned and it was that unfairness that led to a lawsuit that resulted in Curly Joe DeRita’s family getting the lion’s share of the “Stooges” fortune. Larry Fine seemed a bit oblivious and it cost him. Curly seemed to be a genuine and decent guy, way smarter in real life than his on-screen persona, who just died too young. I’d like to think I’d be more like Curly than the real life bastard Moe was.

Nickki: Would you be happy if your children lived a dd lifestyle?

KDP: I’d be happy with whatever lifestyle they freely chose and enjoyed. That said, IF that became a revealed commonality? Sharing advice and input related to that lifestyle and its nuances wouldn’t suck. I have discussed my lifestyle with all of my kids, biological and steps…..and it’s possible my son would incorporate aspects of this into his life but not to the degree Rosa and I do. And Ana? Well, she is a natural, but has always insisted that she also is not interested in going beyond a certain amount of bossiness and pampering-on-demand as fun in her own life, but probably not venturing as fully into things as we do. None of the others would live this as a lifestyle, though they do understand it, having seen it growing up.

Nickki: You made the decision to retire early. Would you make that same decision if you could do it all over? Why or why not?  

KDP: If the circumstances were the same as they were when I made the decision I would make the same choice. But due to something that was only revealed too late that I thought was settled and was told was settled, knowing now that it wasn’t, I would have ensured it was taken care of before signing off on the retirement.

Nickki: If you could change physically one thing about you what would it be?

KDP: Wow, this is tough for a lot of reasons, but I promised to answer everything asked and do so candidly so…… I have two things I would change and one is far less trivial and way more embarrassing than the other. I don’t often discuss it because it is embarrassing but I have suffered from ED ever since a childhood operation in 7th grade permanently affected me. Meaning I had ED issues right from the start of my early dating. I often wonder how different my life would have been had I never suffered from this physical limitation. While I managed to have kids, and can’t say I could never have intercourse, it was NEVER without anxiety, stress, frequent disappointment, sometimes chemical assistance….but with terrible side-effects, and ultimately feelings of inferiority. 

That said I have also never liked how hairy I am on my body, especially my butt, and how I also am so predisposed to ingrown hairs that every depilation technique I ever used has never allowed me to be as smooth as I wished I was. If I had to choose only one thing to change I suppose it would be to correct my ED, but given how my life has turned out WITH it, at this point, I wonder if I would just choose to be less hairy (with maybe a fuller butt) and let the  ED be damned.

Smooth, full, and spankable. 
(THE END......of Part One)


  1. "I do feel your ethnicity contributes towards some “added edge” to your authority. It makes no sense logically." I wonder whether that's a function of our "tribal" wiring just heightens our anxiety in emotionally-laded situations the more different the other is from us physically? I know you've said that you have no inclinations toward being spanked by another male. I do, and when I think about what would be most intimidating, it would almost certainly be a Black male. At some point, I actually saw a Pornhub video that involved a white male being dominated by a well-endowed black male, and it reinforced my view that it would intimidate me way more than discipline from a white male or female.

    Love the picture of you fishing. It isn't my thing, though I do love lakes and rivers and, like you, find them to give me a sense of contentment that I don't get in many other settings. I've always wanted a house on a swift-flowing river or stream.

    1. I will say that there have been rare times where males have wormed their way into my fantasies.....always the same scenario: me horny, and them being instructed by a female Top to penetrate me from behind. So I'm not immune to thoughts similar to yours. But given what I revealed happened in the foot session with the trans couple, I worry that taking my fantasy into the real world might end as disastrously.

      Thanks about the fishing picture.

      “Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.
      I am haunted by waters.” ---Norman Maclean

    2. Dan: I was doing some nostalgic re-reading of some past posts (and getting a lot out it btw ) and something hit me right in the face that contradicts my sincere assertion that I have no interest in being disciplined by a male. The "stakes" post featuring 'Osito' my adult stepson. Now to be precise, the 'stakes game' has fallen by the wayside as both of us seem to have 'grown out of it' LOL. It makes sense. BUT at the time it still appealed to him, I can't say it bothered me that he was a male!

      In fact, the same day of "Guy feet" story I told, I had a guy I kind of knew use me in the dungeon as a volunteer for a demonstration of how to use a dog whip with braided trainer. In true BDSM fashion, he solicited my consent first, and I had no problem giving it. Now I didn't get off on it. It was actually very clinical. BUT it didn't bother me either. Maybe it was what it was? Maybe it was the type of guy HE was? But if a similar situation arose, I'd be willing to be his subject. And while Osito and I have definitely moved on from "stakes", and I am not really interested in reviving the practice, I wonder what I'd do if HE ever REALLY wanted to do it again?

      I guess each example is way different from what you are describing, with very precise and limited conditions for me to feel OK with doing something with a guy, but I wanted to add this in since it certainly contradicted any adamant claim from me that I won't submit to a male. Obviously that's not really true.

    3. That's a good clarification, though it does seem like you're at most OK with the possibility of male discipline, but not anything you would ever seek out. Which I totally get. I'm probably one of a very small minority on our blogs who actually finds something attractive about it. Though, it's the same kind of attraction I had to DD in the first place. It's attractive, but only because it's also threatening.

    4. It might be rare on your blog, but I don't think it's so rare within the general blog circuit.

  2. Pardon the pun: Hard to believe that I have plenty of experience with ED, but trust me, it bothers men more than most women. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, a fully erect penis of any size just isn't that important.

    A great imagination and a talented tongue does more for me anyway. Shilo's treatment for his metastatic prostate cancer has definitely had an effect on his approach to sexuality. Even now that his sexual desires have come back, it's mostly focused on pleasing me without intercourse. My Master/boyfriend (Shilo dislikes the term, but it's the best descriptor in this case) has used all sorts of ways to please me, whether by cunnilingus, shrimping, using a Sybian, or any other number of things that I won't mention. It's been nearly 3 years since our relationship started, and he has not yet engaged in intercourse with me, and he may never do so. Honestly, it does not matter at this point.

    Don't misunderstand me, I have enjoyed intercourse in the past, and if the opportunity arose (again, pardon the pun) within my polycule, I wouldn't refuse. It's just that it isn't a priority.

    I think it's wonderful that you make a real effort to please Rosa.

    1. Thanks, Merry. Your second paragraph pretty much describes how I ended up approaching sex, but as you said, even a woman who doesn't obsess or sometimes even prefer intercourse, occasionally does. Dealing with those moments for me have been some of the worst of my life. (But again, it's not like I never could manage it.)

    2. On intercourse: If it isn't offered, I don't ask, and I do without. Yes, I'm "in charge," but I also feel very strongly that the man should be the one to initiate sex, and I'm perfectly happy receiving oral pleasure.

    3. That's an interesting position.

      Oral is great.

    4. Why do you feel it's interesting?

      From my point of view, intercourse isn't nearly as satisfying as having a partner who knows my body and is able to keep me aroused and on edge until I'm close to exhaustion, or a partner who can give me orgasm after orgasm. Also toys don't give out after a short amount of time or complain about things.

    5. I find it interesting because it has a air of relinquishment to chance that seems surprising.....or different.....coming from a mostly dominant female who could just request something....even rarely, but on demand.