Did you ever wake up and wonder:
"What shall I do with my banana today?"
Well, if 'Collected Submissions' is good for anything (which is a damned good question that I would hope doesn't prompt too many sarcastic recommendations LOL) it's to offer ideas.....possibilities...... and things, well.....things you might not have considered before. But let's start simply. Naturally the first inclination (I would hope) is to eat it.
Is there a more suggestive fruit besides the banana?
But while eating is natural, and healthy, how much banana can you take before it's just the same old thing? Can't you just picture her thinking: "geez, how many times do I find myself in THIS situation?"
But the banana is anything if not versatile. Its shape is evocative of so many things.
Who can forget the classic "banana phone"?
The thing is though, what person not old enough to remember Ernie & Bert, would even know that phones once did resemble bananas?
They do still resemble guns though, and the "banana gun" is still pulled on the unsuspecting to this day.
And some people take that "banana gun" idea to very creative conclusions!
But phones and guns are not the only things bananas tend to remind people of. There is another choice that has been around for a long time.
Is that a banana in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?
Bananas simply DO look like penises. Though sometimes a little creative enhancement really drives the point home.
The connection to penises is almost too obvious, but some guys take that to an extreme......
.......resulting in a style of penis colloquially referred to as a "banana cock". (I'm not sure if this is as equally good to eat as the previous image, but you ladies can give it a try and report back.)
The banana shape does not just apply to men though. Certain ladies can be endowed with "banana breasts (or boobs)".
If you like slender, upturned breasts, just do a search! You'll find all sorts of "banana-boob" variations.
But today's post was not supposed to be so much about having or not having attributes resembling bananas, but what to do with your fruity variety. And since we were just talking about breasts, why not consider slipping your banana there?
This looks like a fun way to encourage more fresh fruit consumption.
The problem with sticking a banana between two jiggly jubblies is that you still need your hands to kind of keep it there. Surely there must be other places to keep your banana that are a bit more hands-free?
Look Ma, no hands!
As with most things, some people are just insatiable. One banana just isn't enough? Well, they DO come in bunches. (I can just hear Harry Belafonte singing for the tally-man to tally the bananas. "Daylight come and me wanna go home.")
There does seem to be a difference in opinion on whether a banana should be unpeeled or peeled for insertion. What do you say?
Hmmmm, here's a combined treat.
Those who voted for peeled and are looking for something to do with the skin, you need only reference a zillion movie and cartoon pratfalls.
And if you thought the 'genital option' would exclude guys, guess again.
No one to "dock" with? Bananas are more reliable than elusive partners.
Unfortunately, "banana-docking" again necessitates a hands-on approach. Surely there must be a hands-free place to put a banana for guys AND gals?
Here's a spot that seems accommodating enough. Shall we try it?
Wow! Like it was meant to be!
Now THAT really makes me want to have a banana! Only trouble is that darned peel.
Ah! Problem solved! And this kind young lady is even willing to serve it up on a plate. How considerate.
Though some prefer to skip the formality of dinnerware and just get right to it.
So when it comes to snug spots to stick a banana, we now know there are options......especially for ladies. But what about indecisive ladies?
Well there's an easy solution. Just a bit of both.
My this has certainly gotten kinky. Who would have thought bananas were so pervertible?
Well foot fetishists for sure. Trampling fruit or other food is even a "thing" unto itself. (Don't believe me? Search. You'd be surprised.....or maybe you wouldn't. LOL)
You might be thinking "yuck", but I'd be on those toes quicker than a fruit fly!
So, let's see. We've talked about, standard consumption, enhanced consumption, insertion, squishing, pretending they're guns, phones, breasts, and penises......surely we're done? Right? No. Bananas have a few more options:
You can mash 'em on your face,
......or use the skins for facials and teeth cleaning........I even saw something about using them for dry, cracked heels!