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Thursday, April 8, 2021

Swimsuit season

 

.......is just around the corner. I have always heard that this is a particularly stressful time for women. Even my Rosa, who lost some weight and looks even better than before, has angst over this daunting "search for the holy grail of swimwear". As a guy, I can't relate to this. We just try to find the right size and pick a color that goes with our complexion and hopefully doesn't look ridiculous.

Women have so many other concerns...............

Gaps

Even if you're young, cute, and thin as a rail, a swimsuit can betray you. But don't worry. We don't mind.

Mishaps

Guys rarely have to worry about losing their suits on a dive......mostly because so many guys don't even try to dive, but obnoxiously cannonball in with a hoot and a tsunami-splash.  I will do a standard dive off a low board, and have only ever had my suit slide a bit to my hips. A tightening of the drawstring is all it takes to ensure modesty. But not you guys! Bikini tops seems to be designed to fall off....probably by a guy. But again.....don't worry.....we really don't mind. Take this shot for example. Do you know what the title is for this image? Not "girl embarrasses herself," or "unlucky lady," or even "dangers of diving" but "perfect tits at pool". How nice is that?

Straps

Sometimes what one person would consider a bikini disaster, is another woman's bold statement. Take the micro-kini. It's like a bikini but with just the straps. I'm sure the ladies looking at this are cringing. (I'm equally sure that none of the guys are.) So, if your bold choice is a bit too bold for your soccer-mom neighbor? Don't worry.....her husband forgives you. 

OK, I know what some of you are saying: "yeah , but you keep posting shots of thin cuties who look good no matter what! What about regular people?" I hear you. Regular people are going to want to swim too, and have every right to. Consider these cuties:

Snaps

This posing beach-goer is no skinny-mini, AND she chose a bikini over a one-piece. And why not? Personally, I think she's rockin' that suit! And by her smile, I think she knows it too.


You see that arm in the lower righthand corner? That's her guy, and he's taking that picture with a grin. Do you think he's saying "honey, why don't you hit the gym a few times before I take this shot?"   No way.  We men love you ladies! Stop being so hard on yourselves. I swear, women are worse to other women about swimsuits than guys would EVER be.


So, as a guy who loves to look at women in all their feminine glory, let me offer a male perspective on this: really and truly, just relax! And if buying a suit is still too traumatic, do what this lady did and just say "fuck it!"

Naps

I assure you......we won't mind.

Sand traps

The End.





12 comments:

  1. I'm rushing out to get our pool ready KD !
    Spotted my wife looking for swimsuits on he iPad too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enjoy! It's still too early to open here in NJ, but by the end of May I'll be ready.

      Delete
    2. We are having a nice spell of weather up in Canada but the 'official's opening won't be until next month.
      We are locked down again (thanks Trudeau) so it's something to do.

      Delete
    3. It sounds like something went awry up there. Good luck with it all. We love to complain about NJ, but I'm glad I'm here more often than not.

      Delete
  2. In the US and the UK, not so many decades ago, it was illegal for men to show their nipples in public. If that law had never been changes we would have to be hunting for a summer bikini now :)

    Prefectdt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well at least that makes more sense than women's nipples being forbidden but men's being ok. Better to just make them all OK, right?

      Personally, I'd look pretty bad in a bikini, despite my reassuring advice to the ladies on not worrying about stuff like that.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. I aim to please.

      (Ah, who am I kidding? I live to stir shit up....or at least put thoughts in folks' heads. LOL)

      Delete
  4. Just in case I did not have Spring Fever already, this will get me going. I love them all, but the first is my dream. Wait, I think the straps is. Naps is a dream for sure. Anyway, thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No problem. Naps is a cutie for sure. But hey, I even like the chunky gals. It must be that time of year.

      Delete
  5. Funny but true:

    I bought a cute new bikini in January of 2019 for a trip to a resort with my girlfriend.

    When it was time to hit the pool, I chose a nap. I still haven't worn it. One day though...

    ReplyDelete