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Thursday, May 13, 2021

4 Bosses (conclusion)

(ROSA, cont'd) While behavioral obedience can be complicated by circumstances, emotions, and even psychological baggage from the past, one area of obedience for me is much simpler......though not always easy: sexuality. I've already written about part of this in depth so I won't go into it all again, but within the context of Rosa as "Boss", the one area where there are NEVER any gray areas or points of contention is her complete and total authority over all of our relationship's sexuality. Not merely my orgasms, but nearly anything sexual. She can demand an O and get it without argument, she can tell me to wear something special to enhance a mood, and she can grant or deny me access to my own body as she deems fit. And for whatever reason, even when I would prefer something different, she gets her way. I can suggest, ask, seduce,......whatever......for her these are merely opportunities to act on or decline. 

One last area of expected obedience is simple doting! One perk of being the dominant partner is that not only do you get to call the shots, but you kind of have a built-in servant in your sub. Rosa gets pedicures on demand along with coffee, tea, or whatever else she needs from me. It's not totally fair that she might help if I ask her, and often does, but that she expects me to obey these directions from her whenever she issues them. And to be completely honest? I'm more than fine with that!

"Pop in a plug and make me a coffee."

So in more ways than one, she certainly is the person in my life who expects and receives the broadest aspects of my obedience.

ANA: Those familiar with this blog probably feel they know my Monster pretty well by now. She is by far the next person after her mother who gleans a pretty broad chunk of my obedience. This too I have written about before, but considering her age and relation to me, the genuine amount of influence she wields is astounding.

Having Ana as a "boss" is like getting reviewed by a much younger executive with very high standards and no hesitation in resorting to stern disciplinary action when needed. 

The impressive aspect of Ana's authority is the polite and even charming way she exerts her will. One would think that a young person with her power would be tempted to abuse it, and yet she never has! This is not to say she isn't often mischievous, but even these times are more of a mutual play-bonding between us than purely selfish whims. And anyone here also knows that Ana has no reluctance to make her feelings known about my behavior or anything I do to hurt her feelings, and also no reluctance to impose fairly severe punishments via "Discipline Slips" that are then acted upon by Rosa. 

As someone who grew up in our open DD household and who was apportioned varying degrees of her own authority from a fairly early age, Ana is fully aware of what 'discipline' means. She also talks to me openly about this lifestyle and reads this blog (when she has the time). When Ana is upset with me and writes out a 'slip', usually after we discuss and resolve the issue, and assigns a punishment spanking of hundreds or sometimes 1000 spanks, she isn't doing so naively. She knows EXACTLY what that means for me. She knows her mother will take any slip she issues seriously and spank me hard. If the number is very high, Ana knows this will mean a series of spankings, with each one becoming harder to take. And she wants me to experience that third spanking on a sore bottom because THAT is what she feels is appropriate and knows is utterly devoid of any enjoyment.

Letting her Mom do the honors doesn't take away from me knowing who that spanking is actually from.

Like her mother, she rarely extends her overall role into areas outside of my actual behavior. In other words she doesn't try to just generally order me around. The only other thing she is entitled to, is to "ask" for "treats" and the occasional doting as well. We both find this funny, because the treats are invariably little things like a special brand of snack chip, or some book she finds on one of our treks to Barnes & Noble and she asks for them in a solicitously polite way, while we both know her request is not going to be refused. ( A typical expression of this is a text I might get if she's going to be home about whether I'm going food shopping anytime soon, and if so would I please get her some _____? While this sounds downright simple and normal, her text is understood by us both to be more like: "make sure I have some _________ when I get back home." ) Recently she told me that she always liked this side of her authority (what kid wouldn't?) but felt very timid about using it.....initially. One of the things she likes about where we are now is the way she feels she grew into her ability to ask for things from me with far less trepidation. Even still, while she knows her little requests are really more like expectations, she never asks for anything extreme.

During one of our talks we discussed the day-to-day reality of our relationship and she, again just like her mother, sees nothing extraordinary about our situation. Instead she feels everything is just as it should be for who we all are, and that means that despite me having several decades on her, and despite our love for each other, that within the parameters of the areas described, Ana does expect my obedience as a given and sees no reason that our relative ages should be any kind of conflicting or mitigating factor. In her mind, she knows she is more than qualified to monitor my behavior, and while she may respect my age, experience, and knowledge in other regards, in this area, who she is as a person outweighs all of that, and she has a hefty discipline slip at the ready if my obedience falters.

NICKKI: Readers here also 'know' Nickki by now! Our growing tally of adventures has been well documented here in words and pictures. Like Ana, Nickki's authority is derived from an arrangement with Rosa and me, and made possible only through Rosa's consent. None of us would have it any other way. But within that overall condition comes a lot of latitude. And with Nickki this also means a direct 'hands-on' approach! 

Nickki needs only to have cause to contact me or Rosa and then secure Rosa's consent to have me report to her for discipline. This too took time. Nickki and I are friends first, and friends who care about each other tend to tread lightly with things that could become volatile. Punishing a friend for some transgression can be tricky, and it took a while for Nickki to wrap her head around it all. I too had to make some adjustments in how we interacted. As a result, we are simultaneously the same as we once were when we became friends, and different. And that difference could ultimately be reduced to the recurring theme here of obedience albeit select, specified obedience

The trick with us is navigating the weird waltz of buddies on somewhat equal terms, and two people committed to two very different, yet solid roles: she being a dominant, and me being submissive. For me it means, being me, but doing so....cautiously. There are no usual honorifics in play (except at those specific times when I am about to be punished) and there are no expectations of service, deference, or anything other than just doing our things together. The difference for her is that there is an underlying understanding that IF something goes awry, she has tangible recourse. 

It is within that recourse or within any time....even for 'fun'....that I find myself with a bare bottom facing her paddle, that I see myself being almost desperately obedient. Nickki likes to totally control a spanking, even for fun/payment/etc. and I admire that. And she does so with unwavering confidence and an expectation that even if I might not be obliged to obey her every whim at other times, in this situation, SHE is not to be trifled with. She will ask questions, and expect answers, she will want me to use certain terms, or present myself a certain way. If I am not in a position she likes, she barks a command of where she wants me.....and if I hesitate even the slightest, her hand is quick and merciless with the paddle. 

A past spanking that included a serious half and a 'fun' half. But while technically only "half serious" you can easily see that the end result to my butt was ALL serious!

So when I think of obedience with respect to my 'bosses', I see Rosa's authority as the most pervasive and Ana's close behind, but while Nickki's field of authority is a bit more limited, within that narrow scope, it is intense! Simply put, NO ONE can make me scramble to frantically appease than Nickki! She snaps and I obey!

MARTA: Marta is in a tough spot. On one hand, she seems more than willing to enjoy my deference, and even has shown an inclination to discipline if necessary. However, her husband, Wally, while tolerant of her role with us, doesn't really seem comfortable with it extending too far. As a result, Marta has kind of settled on a middle ground of sorts. She saves up her dominant energy for when she can be the "Village Disciplinarian" at our annual RenFaire, and concedes any other times to the competencies of her good buddy, Rosa. 

Marta a few years back, giving Nickki a few swats.

But Marta also sees my relationship with Rosa in contrasting couplets: she was a bit shocked by it, but then found it to be a great arrangement. She has reacted to my punishments with both an awed sense of "wow! She really gave it to you" and also a "but you got what was coming to you" kind of approval. And the one thing she definitely shares with Rosa, Ana, and Nickki, is the belief (which she has clearly expressed to me in the past) that I am right where I should be with regard to roles, accountability, and ......yes.....spankings that aren't 'fun' but real bun-burners meant to teach a lesson. And as someone included in the circle of 'ladies with authority, she too feels quite qualified and deserving of the honor. 

Marta really likes to tease me about my situation, and will use her given authority to make certain demands on me in a playfully bossy way. Perhaps because she is the least able to act on her authority directly, she seems more prone to messing with me verbally. She is definitely the most publicly (though playfully) bossy of the four. And there is no question that she gets a kick out of telling me something with a kind of emphatic "you heard me, right?" reminder that she has no problem with having Rosa deal with me if I don't obey her to her liking. 


Edited to add this perfect image suggested by CK:
Goya's "The Straw Mannequin"
(Or "KDP and His Four Bosses")

ROSA: Main Boss to whom all other bosses defer. My "Honey" who clearly wields the most influence over me and the person I try to obey most. Her authority encompasses behavior, my sexual outlets, and her own perk of being pampered on demand.

Natural dominant, reasonable 'boss', but capable of being strict and stern when needed. Spanks hard when she wants to, but can be playful as well.

My future wish/goal is something she and I just recently discussed which is a re-energizing of our arrangement with a bit of 'ramping up' my obedience and her punishments.....starting with one we discussed is long overdue.

ANA: Unquestioned "Second-in-Line". While she still needs her mother's approval for stuff with me, at this point it is practically a formality, since she is never overruled. Also someone whom I find myself obeying in a lot of ways.

Another natural dominant, but one for whom the more extreme expressions of this lifestyle are not a driving desire in her own life. Doesn't spank, but decrees them via a "Discipline Slip". Her punishments are known for their very high numbers, but she too can be very playful as well.

My future wish/goal with Ana is perhaps an exploration of how her "polite" requests can even further evolve into more direct commands.

NICKKI: A little more limited in her range of authority but very confident and intense within the areas she knows are hers. 

Yet another natural dominant, but one who needed some experience in order to see the difference between BDSM sensation play and DD, but  who now totally "gets it" and loves the power. A fireball of a spanker, blending scolds and spanks with an attitude that sends me scrambling to obey her every whim and yet still sends me home with a blazing butt!

My future wish/goal for Nickki is unfortunately something that isn't possible under our current agreed-upon conditions for our arrangement. I just found that the couple of times Nickki had me naked added a layer of embarrassment that was quite profound. Being a Lesbian, it wasn't a sexual thing, and that even added to my embarrassment because what was on display was doubly discounted: partly for being a male part, and second for not even being a great specimen of a male part .....which she would tease me about. So to be naked with someone who is not interested in what is being exposed, and even finds it something to be joked about, is very blush-inducing to someone who doesn't easily blush. But given how things are with us, I can easily live without this added twist. It's not a driving desire....just a potentially impactful add-on.

MARTA: An interesting paradox. Marta acts the least and yet, given her regard among us, has the potential to exert quite a bit of influence and authority. And since she kind of knows this, verbally messes with me routinely more than anyone else. Her raised eyebrow orders to me in front of everyone are her signature forms of dominant expression.

Still yet another natural dominant, but one for whom circumstance has limited her growth. She would almost certainly dominate her husband if he was into it, and she would definitely take a more active hand with me if he was more open to it. Her dominance is expressed mostly verbally, although she has, and could still, tell Rosa to punish me for whatever I do that upsets her. She seems to enjoy these kinds of threats more than acting upon them.....or is using them because she feels she CAN'T act on them personally. 

My future wish/goal couldn't be simpler: I wish she'd feel more comfortable telling Rosa to spank me for something, or hell......just doing it herself right then and there with the special wooden spoon I made her that she proudly keeps on display in her kitchen. I don't see this happening though due to the restrictive environment she's in. 


  1. Your comment on 'doting rings true for us. She expects regular foot rubs , flowers and being catered to and it's all part of 'the deal.The foot rubs have to be frequent and done properly and she gets one before or after a spanking.
    Having 4 females bossing you sounds strangely interesting to me , and we do have a few female friends who can be assertive with me when they visit , expecting me to fetch them a drink for instance without asking.

    1. I think if women see a "green light" to being a little playfully bossy from both you and your wife, they will act on it if it appeals to them. A lot of what I have discovered is making sure everyone is comfortable. In fact, when you look at the differences in people, you can see how any one of them, besides Rosa of course, could end up disastrously if comfort zones weren't respected, and consent wasn't mutual all around.

    2. I don't know how you did it , but you have managed to take it to another level by having 4 women who openly boss you !

    3. Well thank you, but like I said, it's no big secret, but it does require a spouse open to the idea and then just compartmentalizing everything individually to suit the comfort zones of the others who are interested.

  2. The closest I have come to this sort of plural dominance is with my wife’s sister who has witnessed several punishment spankings and probably could assume authority herself if she chose (as far as my wife in concerned). She does monitor my behavior sometimes but mostly has offered me support and encouragement. She has never disciplined me herself. So to me I don’t feel I have more than one “boss”. But one thing I have wondered about is my former girlfriend. Some discussions on Dan’s blog have made me wonder how much residual authority she still has if she suddenly showed up one day and tried to exercise it. She told me many times that I could never take her authority away and it was her that stopped the spankings when we broke up. So I wonder about that. What if an ex turns up one day? Was she right that her authority was permanent? When I was younger (and even more stupid) I used to imagine some assertive women could see right through me and know I could be spanked and regularly had my pants taken down. I wondered what would happen if a woman, knowing my vulnerability just decided to act on it. That never happened but I still wonder how I might react to a strong women who knew I can be spanked and decided to do it – not a total stranger of course but someone I knew and interacted with to some degree I honestly don’t know how I would react but when a women takes charge and is aggressive something very central in me reacts to that, so who knows. But your experience with multiple women suggests that when women have intimate knowledge that you can be disciplined (i.e., they know you are subject to spanking), that knowledge brings out some mixture of dominance and nurturing in them. Maybe that’s something more women need to learn and more men need to reveal

    1. How would your wife react to the ex? That seems the bigger obstacle to me, unless there's more to it all.

      Oddly enough I had a similar notion regarding spankers way back when. That they could retain that right for life. But being older and wiser now, I realize it is just fantasy-fodder. I wouldn't submit to my ex for $1 million!

      As for opening doors to people, see my comment to Glen. It's all about respecting comfort zones. I swear that is the key. If you and your SO can agree on parameters for an interested third party, and that party's conditions can also be respected, the possibilities just open up!

    2. “Oddly enough I had a similar notion regarding spankers way back when. That they could retain that right for life. But being older and wiser now, I realize it is just fantasy-fodder.”
      You are probably right but I have “triggers” that allow a women to put me in an obedient zone that is very exciting but a little scary too. And my ex well knows them because I taught them to her. As powerful as they are .I don’t think they would ever work as long as I am in my relationship (which I plan to be forever). But if I was not in the relationship and my ex tested it I am not sure some vestiges of that old authority is not still there. As a general proposition I feel that once a woman has spanked you, the Rubicon has been crossed and she can do it again if she chooses. But once the relationship ends she’s not likely to have any interest in spanking you. Excluding professionals, women only spank men they care about. Also, the chances that my wife would play with anything like that are zero and so it’s all pretty academic, but that doesn’t make it less interesting to ponder.

    3. I'm not sure of your age but you do sound a lot like me many years ago. It's just what happens with time I guess, but a lot of those intense, driving thoughts, desires, and whatnot tend to get contradicted by experience, and then for the ones I used to hold....just make me wonder what in the hell I was thinking. LOL

    4. I get what you are saying and experience is the great teacher. I too have had that “who the hell was that guy” feeling when remembering some earlier thinking (and deeds). But when it comes to kinks and maybe DD in particular, one thing I have learned from Dan’s blog is how different we all are, one from another all the time perusing a lifestyle involving spanking and discipline, but with such different styles and philosophies. “Different strokes for different folks” had to be coined by a spanko

    5. Well that "strokes" part is a dead giveaway then. ;-)

  3. I am
    So pleased to see you have your Charlie’s angels because that’s what we are. Punisher, protector, organizer, and satisfactor. We love you and respect you . GIRLS RULE!!!!!

    1. They certainly do over me! LOL And I love you all as well!

  4. Sorry but I am just too short of time tonight and just did not have enough to read this whole post. Perhaps tomorrow


    1. You do what works for you, my friend. I'm not deleting it, so it will be here when you're ready.

  5. Thanks for the terrific posting - you're very fortunate to enjoy the dominance of four women! Do you know the painting 'The Straw Manikin' by Goya? If only the male was naked, it would be a great illustration of the situation (and many men's dreams)!

    1. You're welcome....and correct. I am lucky, but it took effort too, and a willingness to take some chances.

      That was a Goya I was not familiar with, but since it was PERFECT for this piece, I just added it in. Thanks, CK!

    2. I'm glad you liked the painting!

      Yes, it takes effort and risk to get even one woman to take on a disciplinary role. It took a long time for my wife to be comfortable with it, and she too is 'naturally dominant'.

      Her best friend knows I'm disciplined and has even seen our implements. I'd love to have her witness, and then participate, in a disciplinary session with us. It may be a long journey but I hope it'll be worth it.

    3. Well, good luck with it. You have me crossing my fingers for you!

  6. Some of your fictional story characters were clearly based somewhat on Ana.

    So was "The Friend," about a once-equal F/M friendship which eventually became pretty much a D/s relationship (at least on occasion) based at all on Nikki's relationship with you...?? --C.K.

    1. Actually it was not. I wrote that LONG before things developed as they did with Nickki. In fact, it might actually be possible that I wrote that piece before I even met her. And.....that particular piece is quite opposed to others that were based much more on things that actually happened.

    2. Yes, I kind of figured that, because I recalled having read it quite a while back. Although the actual spanking content is limited and implied, I thought it was an intertesting concept, that equal friendship could eventually develop into a D/s relationship.

      It's not difficult to envision a D/s situation involving lovers expanding to include friends of the dominant partner as having disciplinary authority to some extent, however to have it happen between friends who don't live together, especially a dominant woman and submissive male, strikes me as being quite unusual. (If they live together, such as roommates or teenage siblings, then I'd figure it's a touch more likely.)

      I've been pretty much offline lately, however I'm still curious about if/when Ana might ever emulate the Ally character in your "Proxy" story, and decide to handle a 'discipline slip' directly herself.

      Also, that smug, self-satisfied smile on Nickki's face in the photo (next to the obvious reason for her having it), that's awesome... --C.K.

    3. I agree about the story. I wrote it that way intentionally even while realizing the unlikeliness of such a relationship existing, let alone being widespread. I wrote a lot of stories as a kind of finger in the face of formulaic spanking stories. (This was certainly one, Beckett Revisited being an extreme other. Montage was yet another. An Age Thing, C5, ....There are more. LOL)

      I think such speculation on Ana is highly unlikely.

      Nickki certainly does ooze confident joy after a spanking. LOL