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Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Having 4 'Bosses'

(Part 1) What is it like to have people in one's life, outside of a work environment, who have some degree of authority over you?  As someone in this situation, I'd like to explore the nuances and realities of just such a lifestyle. 

I should begin by clarifying that by most standards of submission, I'm probably not the most meek and unquestioning of submissives, BUT to the degree that I consent and trust to someone else's authority, I do honor that arrangement fairly faithfully. In my case, I count four people who have some level of "boss" power: naturally #1 is my wife, Rosa, the "head boss" to whom the other three defer for approval. #2 is unquestionably Ana, her daughter, who has more autonomy than the others and who is more apt to use her authority, though very responsibly.....or at times mischievously, but never abusively. #3 is Nickki who routinely seeks Rosa's "permission" or approval for whatever decisions she makes regarding me and my behavior. And finally there is #4, Marta, who technically has the same level of trust from Rosa and me as Nickki, but whose situation and perhaps personality, results in a much less overt display of authority.

My 4 bosses as portrayed by models in the glamorized version of my life. LOL

Before going into these ladies individually, let's discuss obedience. If one has a boss, the implication is that said boss has authority to give direction, and to hold their subordinate accountable. In a less formal and more domestic setting, this could simply be reduced to being obeyed. Now as I said earlier, I am not the most deferential submissive. Even with Rosa I don't consider my obedience absolute. Instead it's restricted to certain areas and is somewhat conditional. In other words, at my most compliant, I will still only obey directions in areas I've agreed to, and only when I trust the command is coming from a healthy place. (to be honest, though, with the people involved, this is rarely a problem) 

None of these people seek to order me about in things they know I'm more qualified to deal with. In fact, most will seek MY advice on many things. Therefore to just toss arbitrary commands at me merely to flaunt power, would be ridiculous. And as such, all of these ladies are quite content to rule over their select kingdoms......and in those kingdoms I am an obedient vassal. Now let's look at those realms and rulers.

My Rosa pointing to some amusingly appropriate graffiti. Despite the sentiment, the "everything" is not as accurate in real life as it might be for some.  But we do joke along these lines since she often gets her way even in areas where her authority is not absolute.

ROSA: Clearly my wife, lover, & friend first and foremost, but also someone with a personality and temperament suited to help guide me through my weak spots. I am not lazy, I don't shirk chores, I have little issue with overindulgence and am very responsible about adhering to healthy decisions without needing outside help. I am also knowledgeable and know how to get stuff done. So, what does Rosa help with? My moods! I can get hyper, impatient, cranky, snarky, and even defeatist at times. The latter issue Rosa combats with reassurance. But the others, she combats with her paddle. 

The look that means business! Rosa certainly loves me, but she is no softy when it comes to discipline. If I deserve it, she will roast my hinder with guiltless determination. And to her, that's nothing exceptional....just the natural order of things. 

So what about actual obedience? For us this doesn't mean Rosa will tell me every little thing to do. She won't use her role to determine important issues best made jointly. But she WILL say something like: "Okay, now tonight I want you to be nice with __________ and not start an argument over something silly. I want to have fun because I've been stressed all week, so just keep the conversation light" before we visit some friend or have someone over. ( She has, though not frequently, spanked me pre-emptively in similar situations just as a kind of tangible exclamation point to her command.) And in this realm I know she is usually right and I defer to her authority. I obey. 

She will also point out where I said something upsetting, or treated her or someone else callously or impatiently. Again, for me, being aware of my predisposition to this fault, I rarely protest and when she says, "I don't like how you __________, come with me!" I obey. I said in the caption....despite her 'limited' authority, she gets her way in many other things.... A LOT even if it's not overt obedience! 

A picture I've used before of a situation that is fairly definitive of our relationship and what the expectation for obedience is and what the consequences for disobedience end up being: me over Rosa's lap on our bed after a punishment spanking. 

(to be continued)

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