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Thursday, August 26, 2021


Today I am going to use strictly images from my own private collection. I am doing this to not just illustrate today's topic, but also give an idea of what specifically makes it into my stash. Recently I wrote about "Kieffer/Rebecca" and how she kind of was an exception ....albeit a brief my inclination towards INACCESSIBILITY. Today I am going to elaborate on that notion of finding appeal in the unattainable. 

Given the appeal of porn, I often wonder how many others look at it as I do? For example, for you guys out there, what are your thoughts when seeing something like this?

I imagine some may be imagining various sexual romps or perhaps, given your decision to visit here, something more kinky. But my main question really is targeted at whether in your fantasy or imagination you end up doing something with this person?

I know among vanilla guys, that answer is pretty consistent and direct.....since they have told me so. A regular guys sees a sexy cutie and his thoughts go towards what he envisions doing to or with her. Not me.

My situation seems as different from theirs as can possibly be imagined. 

1: I am not free to engage in ANYTHING sexually without permission. I can look, think, ponder, or whatever else falls well shy of touching......and most certainly not orgasming. 

2: Even with Rosa, my own wife who loves me dearly, nothing is guaranteed and my releases are her decision, not mine. 

Definitely not us, but the sentiment is the same......even if mechanical devices are employed less often now. Rosa is totally confident that her authority is sufficient to ensure my compliance.

3: Over time and with a lot of constant control, I have come to eroticize "not having".

and of course 4: I have ED which has progressed over time and multiple operations to a point of impossibility. Meaning, even WITHOUT restriction, there wouldn't be much I could do in that department at least. (My tongue still works pretty well though. LOL)

So what role does porn play for me? Well, since I am free to look at it, and I am also given permission to tease pretty generously, I will use it almost like anyone else would......except I know that when things seem close to that delicious verge, rather than complete the process, I must stop. And that has resulted in me gravitating towards images that either overtly or subtly reinforce my situation.

Her 'devil horns' make me think she KNOWS I'm looking at her but can't use her cuteness to masturbate to completion and she finds it empowering. She's the temptress obliged to give away nothing more than she wishes. I am the epitome of a guy rendered powerless to exploit.

Now the internet is full of captioned images that cater to guys who want to feel demeaned or teased by some aloof temptress with no intention of engaging with them, and while my tastes are similar they aren't as fueled by cruelty as much as casual indifference. I think it's why I like younger models. Not only are they nice to look at, but their age reinforces the separation between us. Whereas I could appeal to someone of my own age, it is highly unlikely some 20-something is going to have any interest at all. 

I love the hourglass shape of this lovely lady, but in my mind I can see her as attainable, even with my limitations. I don't suffer from low self esteem and figure that I have enough to offer to compensate for my age and ED, so when I DO look at someone like this, I have to work a bit harder to convince myself that they wouldn't be at all interested in me. So, to make her more of an impossibility, I assume she is a woman for whom intercourse is paramount and therefore, even if tempted, would never be happy with someone with my limitations.

But THIS perky young thing is clearly unattainable for someone my age. And her confident expression only adds to the distance. She ceases to be any kind of goal and instead remains an attractive source of frustration and reminder of what I could never have. 

Lesbian imagery works well in that regard also. I seem to gravitate towards images where the subject is appealing to me, but whose age, look, demeanor, proclivity, or whatever else clearly conveys a lack of interest in me. Even in real life, having one of my bosses be a Lesbian is equally powerful in terms of feeling that typical avenues for most others are securely closed to me.....not just by virtue, but hard fact.  

I've shown this before, since it is a favorite of mine. To me the girl on the right is saying, "you can look all you want, old man. I know she looks good so I love showing her off. But she's mine and you can't have her."

This is not to say these are the only types of images I seek or collect. I also like things that amuse me in a titillating way, or which feature kinky things I find cool. But even then I still feel removed from the subject, not engaged with it.

Could you imagine my own collection NOT having a sizable library of feet?
I love this shot. You can keep the images of painted toenails, and glam tootsies. Give me some everyday feet: neat, clean, and naturally pretty in their casualness. BUT......even looking at these, with no face to convey attitude, I still see myself as being permitted to "look but don't touch"......with "....and NO o's!" as the understood foundation of the arrangement.

I am interested in hearing from folks on this one....ladies too. What are your thoughts about erotic imagery being used for the opposite of what I think is its usual intent: wank fodder for personal gratification, and instead encouraging frustration through heightened denial, both in practice and in the interpreted perception of the image? Kind of like this:

This checks ALL of the boxes!
1: It's obviously an intentional selfie and not industry porn, meaning the young lady is clearly doing this because she wants to. She hasn't been caught by accident, or shot by a boyfriend and posted against her will.
2: her smile tells me she's having fun.
3: she's her belly.
4: she's young enough to add quite a bit of distance between herself and me in terms of perceived accessibility
5: her smile is ambiguous enough to allow me to easily imagine it's for me  and my particular situation. In other words, she may have taken this shot to titillate.......... realizing guys may end up jerking off to her image, but causing frustration without release is even more amusing to her.

If you're female, does that sort of situation have an appeal? Would you be more pleased knowing someone was masturbating to your charms, or knowing you titillated and rendered someone feverish yet unfulfilled? As a guy, is porn your gateway to private satisfaction? Or something else? (I also changed the Featured Post to one which relates to today's topic that I wrote a long time back.)


  1. As an FLR husband, porn, most advertising, even walking down the street all "encourage frustration through heightened denial" as I can edge, but not release, when surfing the internet or reviewing my 'collection'.

    Beauty, in whatever form, hits my brain right away - I don't need to play out the steps of undressing, copulating (or whateveer) and ejaculating to enjoy a sexy image. So in that sense, my fantasies rarely extend to ejaculation.


    1. We sound similar. May I ask for clarification though: given your situation, when you see an image, do you also imagine NOT being able to have the person sexually as part of your enjoyment?

      Also, do you need permission to edge, or just for orgasms?

    2. I think, yes, not climaxing is part of the fantasy, because that's part of my real life satisfaction of being an FLR husband - 'controlling myself' for the greater good.

      I do imagine going down on a lot of those ladies!

      And yes, I can be naked and edge to the internet. Only finishing myself is off the table. I'm not normally locked, so that's not an issue.


    3. Ok, I c an definitely relate to including that in the mix. As for 'going down', that is a difference because I actually think, "I might like to, but they would not allow me to" or "my situation will not allow me to". Either way it's a fantasy of inaccessibility at its roots.

      I am usually not locked either. We save that now for special situations. However, while not physically restricted, I am restricted from edging unless I ask and receive permission. The good news it that it's rarely withheld.

  2. Very interesting concept here, something I really have not thought about but find that I can certainly relate to.
    My favorite images are of "real" women. I hadn't thought of this before but it makes sense that being real means that they could potentially be someone I could do something with. But, I can't. They are young and beautiful and would likely be disgusted that I am staring at them with obvious intent. But in the photo, they are looking very "come hither" and I can enjoy the fantasy that only increases my level of frustration. Frustration that I have also learned to enjoy through FLR.
    Orgasm is only to be rarely enjoyed with permission of my wife and I actually prefer that she denies that and keeps me frustrated and craving. Just like I crave those beautiful young beauties that frustrate me in photos and real life.

    1. Hi, Bill. I could SWEAR I responded to this, but I think everyone is having "Blogger Issues" lately. Fucking program.

      Anyway, I'm glad I revisited. It seems we are on a similar page here. I guess the only difference is a subtle one: the 'come hither" look for me translates into more of a "look, but don't touch" look. The end result though for each of us is the same and I think quite different from the overwhelming majority of men looking at erotic imagery.

      Thanks for the comment and sorry it seemed like I didn't respond.

  3. I left a comment on this post yesterday... Not sure if maybe the ether ate it? I had to do 3 captchas, so I'm not sure. Maybe it's caught in your spam filter?

    1. I figured out that you indeed left a comment but on a different post AND then that comment was not conveyed to me via email as Blogger is supposed to. So, I responded to the comment where it is. In "Not News". I really only caught these unanswered comments by pure luck. And I will check on that robot thing.

  4. Interesting viewpoints, i never thought of porn that way... to answer your question, i would find it empowering if someone were to look at my picture and NOT be allowed to reach any sort of "final" satisfaction. I think i would want a say in WHO gets to 'finish' / jerk off to my pic.

    1. I find that answer very interesting. Not because it contradicts my experience in discussing this with women, but because it kind of contradicts it with women like yourself who identify primarily as submissive. But.......that said......from MY perspective, I am smiling at your admission.

      So, while I can't say I have ever used any image of yours as stimulation, (Mainly because I think it would be kind of weird and even a little crass) there certainly have been times where certain photos of you, posted on your blog, have had.....let's say....."an effect". And that effect is very much in line with your sentiment.

  5. The hour class woman, it is her face, the expression, I see sterness and I quickly think of getting a spanking from her. Porn is not porn to me, it is what I imagine the way I want a woman to be. It is safe sex, your have a fantasy fulfilled and it is just you. That woman I can see being put over her lap and given a very sound spanking, and facing the corner afterwards. I will admit I have a towel, I will masturbate looking at that picture. I'm naked, and there is a sexual desire being met. Porn is not a four letter word, it is a save way to fulfill a need that you have not been able to meet in the real word. Nothing wrong in your own home, being naked, and masturbating to a picture. Jack