When Nickki and I first discussed the spanking she came over to give me on a Tuesday that got postponed to Sunday, the reason was strictly centered on the proxy arrangement we made a while back. (See "Proxy Time" April 21, 2021) However, upon arrival I discovered that the day was going to go a bit differently than expected.
One thing I found oddly appropriate was having to wear a pair of ladies' panties and a head scarf along with my obligatory housedress. The effect was intended to make me look more like the person I was standing in for. The proxy spanking took place with me flopped over some cushions while Nickki lectured "Carla" on all of her rude misdeeds and applied her paddle with more force than I expected assuring Carla that "she" would feel this for quite a while after.
Nickki truly was using this opportunity to purge her anger at Carla and I was the sacrificial recipient of it all. One thing Nickki did that made a huge difference for me was simplicity itself: as she spanked with her right hand, she gently soothed my back over the dress with her left. I told her later that it made me feel like she was saying "OK, KD, my right hand is spanking Carla, but my left is telling you that I'm not directing this at YOU." And she admitted that was exactly her intention. The weird thing is......IT WORKED!
The spanking was truly severe and utterly unenjoyable, (something I myself see as a good policy for proxy punishments, despite the difficulty) and I think since it got so difficult at times, that had it not been for that manual reassurance, I might have felt abused. (Not that my best buddy, Nickki would EVER abuse me in reality.) Due to the panties, Nickki kept pulling them up my buttcrack so she could hit bare flesh. It was a humbling feeling.
Ostensibly I was to get around 600 spanks, but it seemed like I got considerably less. It seemed like the harsh scolding and very hard swats wore down not just my butt, but Nickki's anger at Carla. Perhaps the severity worked to burn her frustrations out sooner than she expected? Regardless of the reason, Nickki just told me that she was done for a bit and we were taking a break. I had no objection, since as I said, this was a favor......not fun.
During our break we discussed 'sitting' but I will save that topic for a post of its own LOL. And then Nickki told me her feelings on the proxy punishment and that she felt that all of her anger was gone. I was instructed to remove my scarf, but she also said we weren't done for the day. And so after a few minutes it was time for more smacks!
This time there were some changes. Part two would take place over a pillow that rested on her lap, essentially an elevated "OTK". AND..........this time.....off came the panties! Now, bare-bottomed and in a position we both find very evocative of maternal discipline, Nickki proceeded to give me a payment spanking for some different past services. As she kept remembering new reasons I teased her that due to extended period where she could not spank me, that she was just looking for reasons to really roast me now. She laughed, but didn't disagree.
By the time she was done I was a sore-bottomed mushball.......but that mentality has always been a dangerous time for me. Feeling defeated and contrite has nearly always led me to confess something to my "bosses", be it Nickki, Rosa, or even Ana that I had not possessed the courage for beforehand. While in position I awkwardly asked Nickki if I might tell her something that was bothering me and something I don't think I've ever written here. But back when Nickki spanked me for the length of my interview questions (Nudging the Bear- November 5, 2020) she had me give her two swats over her clothes for feeling like she was guilty of not recognizing who I was and how innocent my interview questions really were. I didn't include this in my post since I always felt funny about it.
Since that was our last 'adventure' until this one, those two little swats haunted me all this time. So......I told her that I fully understood why she asked for them and that because I understood, I delivered them as requested....BUT......I felt that while I am certainly capable of switching and have no problem even punishing someone in a flipped around scenario, for some reason, it just didn't feel right with her. I further asked what she thought and if she agreed that we were better suited to a permanently one-sided arrangement.
Nickki admitted that while she definitely wanted the swats at the time, that upon receiving them and feeling what a punishment smack felt like....even OVER clothes......, realized that she had no intention of such a thing ever happening again. For me this admission was a relief. And so, being of the same mind, and with Nickki now seeing how my taking a paddle to her, even for just two requested swats, felt presumptuous, we discussed an easy remedy....................easy since I was already in just the right position for it!
Though I had initiated this, I was impressed by how easily and confidently my friend addressed the issue. Taking up her paddle once more, she explained how I needed to be assured that the two-swat incident was something that would NEVER happen again and that there was only ONE dynamic between us: Nickki was the boss and I obeyed or else. And to both ensure that I never forget this and to alleviate any guilt I might harbor for the past event, she then ABSOLUTELY ROASTED MY BUTT!!!! And a part of me LOVED that she did not merely add on a few extra swats, but really spanked me good and proper.
The spanking I got was far more than I expected, and she only stopped when she noticed that pesky abrading just starting to occur again. But while I was grateful for her concern, I can't say that stopping when we did in any way left me feeling unresolved. Not at all! I was one well-spanked subby-boy! But.......I felt so much better! It was like some cosmic wrong had been finally corrected.
We then sat together and talked like we always do after a spanking and discussed how it all went. I won't go into all the details here, but it was all positive and productive. One thing I would like to mention is that this "smorgasbord" of reasons for a similar activity impressed me with its clear distinctions and clear delineations of my emotions.
1: The proxy spanking had a flavor all of its own. I felt recognized, yet accepted as a willing sacrifice to a greater good: that of a kind of therapy for an angry Nickki. And it was not in any way fun, playful or enjoyable in the sense that a play spanking can be. A true success all around.
2: The "payment" spankings hurt, but were actually kind of fun. During them Nickki heaped praise on me as a friend and helper even as she mischievously raised the heat in my seat. LOL Another very different feeling, yet equally successful for what it was.
and 3: The role affirmation spanking had still ANOTHER distinct flavor to it. Not quite punishment, but certainly not 'fun play' it demonstrated our roles in a way that showed that Nickki could be many things as a Top, but that underneath it all was a serious recognition of who we both are and what that means. For me THAT one had a huge impact later on as I thought about the real life implication of it, and when I discussed this with Nickki she understood it as well and admitted it was pretty powerful stuff, and had to be pretty intense for me in particular to see a friend and equal as having such authority.
All I know is that my guilt was gone and I now had the oddly reassuring message spanked into me that I need never worry about any role reversal between us. I am not sure what that says about us, or me, but I am very happy that she listened to me and then dealt with this so emphatically.
So......that's about it. All that's left now is the picture, of which we just did one quick one this time: