So, I finally got to run ALL of my proposals past Rosa and not one resulted in anything but a positive response. (Curious readers can scan back a bit to September 25th's "Bold Steps" for more details.) So after all the angst of wondering what her reaction would be, I now know. In the post I referenced, there was a mention of a new chastity program, though it was not laid out in detail. So today, for those interested let's look at what my chastity-oriented life will look like going forward. Well, in some ways it’s simple, and in others it is technical, but still pretty easy to remember:
For Rosa? She needs to do nothing but be herself. If she wants me to have an O for whatever reason (and these reasons with me are far more complex than just being sexy and nice) I will have one. If she doesn’t? I won't. You can’t get any simpler than that.
Now, to be realistic, one must remember that often Rosa relies on me asking to at least prompt a decision, not always, but often. Therefore what I am allowed to ask for can be very influential on the likely frequency of what ends up happening. That said, what are MY new parameters?
Well, I can still ask for a tease whenever I want, but going forward I will only be able to ask for one O per month and only in even-numbered months. (February, April, June, August, October, and December). This means if it’s June, I can ask for an O, and if it’s refused for some reason, I can ask again another time, right up until I am either granted one, or the month ends. If I ask on June 1st, and Rosa says ‘yes’ and I get one that day, I can’t ask again until August 1st. If I miss out on O’s altogether in June, I STILL can’t ask again until August 1st.
This will likely curtail my already scarce orgasms substantially. And to thwart denial resulting in a loss of libido and also to sort of flush out the system and get me back to a point where not having an O actually causes frustration, there will be two, one week periods in October and again in April where for one decided-upon week each of those months, I can have nearly unlimited O’s. You’ll notice these months are also even. And while it may be unlikely for me to be granted a requested O in this same month, I technically can still ask for another outside of that seven day sanctioned ‘therapy week’.
Essentially this means if the only o’s outside of those recuperative weeks are ones I ask for, my O’s if all granted, will total 6 per year. Now, do I think I will only get 6? Probably not. And if you count the therapeutic ones, I'll have substantially more, but the idea behind this is not to keep some sort of O-denial scorecard, but to kind of condition both Rosa and myself to look at my O's differently.
In the past an O was either a necessity to keep me in a proper state of mind, or a treat. Going forward, they can still be effective mood management, and they can still be rewards of a sort, but since the goal of all of the new proposals is better behavior and a greater focus on Rosa's whims, one would think that eventually I would become more deserving of rewards than punishment. And if I am getting fewer O's, then the new O program could appear counter-productive. This is true if O's for me are looked at as a primary treat or reward, but what I am thinking and Rosa likes also, is ........with fewer O's even WITH better behavior, but MORE TEASING, simple acts like foot or butt-kissing will become rewards in and of themselves.
How powerful would it be for each of us to know that I will knock myself out in a desire to please, with only Rosa's approval and possible access to feet or bottom as a likely reward? Taking O's off the reward table will turn them into something else.......something that regardless of effort or behavior I should not feel entitled to. (Something that, if honest, I do consider them to be right now. I accept they are outside of my whim, and I like having to ask, but deep down, if I've done all I should and it's been a while since my last one, my brain thinks that getting permission for one is kind of a given. I just like the idea of erasing that assumption....and Rosa sees the power in it too.) So by making MY requests for them a rare possibility, but leaving her dispensing of them entirely at her whim, my O's.......which already are kind of considered HERS, really end up being something much more of Rosa's domain than mine.
The question now is: will this new program achieve that? And if it does, is the next step down the road, eliminating the possibility of me asking for one entirely, making them solely the discretion and desire of Rosa?