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Monday, November 29, 2021

Political Blinders (the movie)

After writing my post on “ergonomic atheism” where I concluded that I may just need to content myself with a bucket of “End Times Popcorn” as I sit in a ringside seat to the circus sure to unfold, it occurred to me that proposals like a national religion were just one of so many topics deserving of such Nero-esque regard. As such I may just have to make End Times Theater a semi-regular feature at Collected Submissions, with regular showings of the unsolvable lunacies that will no doubt lead to the collapse of the US and possibly the extinction of our species. 

So without further ado, here is today’s feature:  Political Blinders  (matinee shows available) Brought to you by End Tymes Popcorn. The perfect snack to dispel those apocalyptic munchies. 

Seven deadly sinful flavors! Beezlebub’s Butter and Dead Sea Salt,  Seventh Seal Sriracha, Doomsday Dill, Charnel Cheddar, Cataclysmic Caramel, Holocaust Honey Mustard, and our newest…...Rapturous Red Velvet

And now our feature presentation.......................

Prologue: Voiceover: “Polls are already showing the disappointment of Americans with Biden and the seeming inability of Democrats to get anything done....and the likelihood of key swing states trending towards Trump for 2024” Cut to Ms. Nebbish in a Pollyanna-style frock “Oh, what ever shall I do?”


Act 1: Duh.  Scene: We see Mr. Nebbish at work frustrated that despite wanting to be productive, between being hamstrung by upper management and overburdened with too much work and incompetent people, he can't. I find it hysterical (in a popcorn-eating amusement in the face of doom sort of way) that the same people who complain that they can’t accomplish anything significant at work because they don’t have the people to enable them to do so, will plop their rotund posteriors in front of some diatribe-railing pundit, and rage over this same issue occurring in Congress.  Add to this that at work that person may not have been responsible for the impossible situation they find themselves in daily, but ARE directly responsible for voting in a way that has eliminated any chance of Democrats even trying to see if their agenda is the right solution. Now I’m not saying that what they propose will work or it won’t but how do you criticize that which hasn’t even been tried?

Act 2: Why aren’t hard things easier? The same nebbish in Act 1 also is red-in-the-face over the fact that voting one president out and another one in hasn’t changed everything immediately. Mr & Ms Nebbish are mad that their toddler understanding of government isn’t how things are. It’s like the scene in Duck Soup where Harpo angrily tears up a message without conveying its contents and Chico explains “He gets mad because he can’t read.” People voted out a working majority and are now blaming the remaining folks for not having enough votes to sail things along the political pipeline. “Hey! I put a lot of money on your horse and just because I also slammed a 2X4 into its fetlocks before the race is NO reason why you should have let me down!”


Act 3: The scene you never see…...except with Mr. Nebbish and politics. Set: a burning building with beams falling around a screaming victim trapped inside. Cue the hero firefighter to burst in and rescue the hapless Nebbish and once outside and safe, (camera zooms in on the fireman’s helmet) The nebbish sees a sticker on it that indicates he is a fan of the cross-town rival football team.  Disgusted by this seeming betrayal, the nebbish says “how could you let me down like this?! You're not from MY tribe! How dare you save me? I’m going back inside!”

If the four years of Trump taught us anything it’s that even if you want a change, HE is NOT the answer. He is not the untested commodity he was when he appealed to some in 2016. We have all seen everything we need to know with two separate impeachments and culminating in an attempted overthrow of the government itself. Not mild stuff. And yet? Biden can’t get things done quickly enough, so…...we must go back to Trump? Trump? Not Liz Cheney, or Romney, or whoever, but the guy who incited a hostile coup? HE’s the answer.

Act 4: The Invisible Man. So, Democrats are a disappointment. Well, for me they have been for decades, but the conversion of Republicans to Trumplicans has pretty much defined their stance pretty dramatically for me. And there stand Mr & Ms Nebbish. Wary of the Trumplicans, disgusted with the Democrats, and utterly blind to anyone else from a third party who might offer a fresh solution. Can’t vote for one of THEM! It’s a wasted vote. Instead let’s see-saw between the two entrenched parties each time things don’t improve in the hope that one time one party WILL actually do something to benefit us or to represent us. In fact, despite never really being happy with what goes on, let’s not even take a chance on trying something new. 

Act 5 Finale. Don’t screw with Mother Nature. (cue stock footage of hurricanes and earthquakes) You know when zero inflation doesn’t matter? When you’re standing on the last piece of scorched dry land in the midst of a vast sea and there’s nothing left to buy. The fucking planet is in trouble and I doubt even the Democratic proposals are going to be enough to do anything in the long run. But a return to Trumpism??????? THAT’S going to solve it? Mr. “It’s-all-a-hoax” Trump? That’s going to be America’s choice in 2024? Along with giving him a majority to work with in 2022? AFTER we’ve seen what they already tried to do?  Oh my, this is certainly not a feel-good flick with a happy ending. Fade to black. Roll credits. I need a scotch to wash down my popcorn. 


 

 



Saturday, November 27, 2021

Saturday's table

Hey all! Not much time here, but I just finished everything and have about 20 minutes before my family arrives. In the next room sits this table......our traditional Thanksgiving "look"....with a mix of antique and semi-antique plates. 

Meanwhile, Mr. Turkey is smelling pretty good from the kitchen! As are the mussels.





(I've already dipped into the dry, hard cider. LOL)



Friday, November 26, 2021

One down....

 .......one to go! Regulars here probably remember that we do a double Thanksgiving here. One on Thursday and one on Saturday, usually with Saturday being the bigger and more intense celebration. This year we had our smallest Thanksgiving ever, with just one guest, making the whole thing a feast for three. Since we had such a small dinner, Rosa and I decided to change up the decor, and this is what we came up with:



Tomorrow we will do the table you can see in the "Featured Post" area. We've invested a lot into that setting and really enjoy the way it works with our 'semi-historical' approach to the day and menu. This year, we are simplifying a bit and cutting down on some of the less-popular historical dishes,  but we are still going to feature a few favorites. Besides the usual turkey-centered Thanksgiving meal, tomorrow will include a colonial recipe for mussels in a shallot/cream sauce, and two soups: one a curry apple favorite of Colonial sailors in New England, and the other, a traditional corn & clam chowder. We are also including some very nice dry hard ciders, which are another historical beverage particularly popular in Colonial NJ. 

With new dietary concerns for several family members, some old standards that featured red game meat, and others loaded with sugar, are going into retirement.

But, it will still be a sizable feast, and still focus on presentation.......

.....though nothing quite this dramatic. I can't figure out why she seems so full of angst. I wonder if she got all set up and then got a call that her guests would be running about an hour late?.....and she has to go to the bathroom. LOL






Thursday, November 25, 2021

Happy Thanksgiving!

 ......and why not be comfortable while you give thanks?

Pilgrim girl thinking: "Just like Horny Beaver to be jealous of the turkey getting stuffed instead of her!"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!


Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Lumberjack orgasms


I have talked about orgasms and the "lumberjack" effect they can have on me before. Several times, actually. This past weekend provided another fine example of the phenomenon at work. As stated previously, Rosa and I have ramped up our chastity policy with me no longer having the ability to ask for an O in odd-numbered months. November is one of these. So, I have not had an O since October and was feeling it, but doing okay. I certainly didn't expect that with just about another week left in November that I'd be getting an orgasm.

On Sunday I asked Rosa for a series of teases to compensate for a bunch of teases I missed out on Friday, due to some privacy issues. She agreed and asked if I wanted an O as well. I reminded her that under our new policy, I wasn't in a position in November to solicit or refuse an O, and that this decision would be 100% hers, either way. 

She decided to give me one, and after a series of teases, finally allowed me that final explosion. Afterwards I thanked her and then found out the real reason behind her unexpected treat: she had a project she wanted my help with that would require some energy and eagerness to really accomplish. She knew an O would imbue me with just such "lumberjack"-drive to DO something. And.....she was right.

This is not quite how WE do it, but it gets the point across. Our method kind of reeks of our D/s approach. Rosa is usually clothed but barefoot, while I am naked. I sort of lay on my side with my head at her feet, with a paper towel under my hips to catch the ejaculate, as she very casually employs a large vibrating massager while I kiss the undersides of her feet and toes. I must tell her when I'm 'close' and if she says "OK"  while continuing, that's kind of her signal that she wants me to have an O. Otherwise my status report will prompt her to turn off the vibrator. But even when an O is permitted, there is that pre-spurt moment of impending inevitability where I still seek final permission and await her response. Only after her "yes", do I relax and let it happen. (It's a very intense process!)

I mention this because I think it reveals an aspect to the male orgasm that doesn't get a lot of attention. I know of one other couple from the past who openly talked about this, but very few others. Orgasms are so linked to the sexual that the connection is not only obvious but mistakenly exclusive. 

One of the great things about being kinky is that the typically nonsexual aspects of existence can be infused with sexuality. (I don't have time now to research this, but I think it was Havelock Ellis who marveled at the human capacity to turn the mundane into the desired fetish.) But I have found that the opposite is also true. Something as direct as the relationship between sex and orgasm can still be turned by the human mind into something else: in this case motivational fuel for a task.

"Now that you gave me that O.....where's the tree?"



Tuesday, November 23, 2021

LOL & Tit for Tat


Prior to LOL Day I did some visiting of blogs I have not been to, and also did quite a bit of thinking. As bloggers we often lament the lack of participation we endure after putting so much work into our blogs. LOL Day even began as a way to encourage “lurkers” to contribute something, even just on this one day. 

After a while, I noticed LOL Day had a different  but beneficial result: it encouraged FELLOW bloggers to look around, find new places of interest, and spread the ‘love’ via mutual links and participation. This year’s LOL Day REALLY hammered that home as many more bloggers came by than lurkers fessing up. In some cases the lurkers were bloggers, but I consider that a separate issue. No matter the level of interaction, there is still a night-and-day difference between a blogger and lurker. But I notice that there is quite a disconnect even among fellow bloggers out there that baffles me.

There are a LOT of kinky blogs out there, but………...

-You’d be surprised at how many don’t even bother to include blog rolls or links to other sites and blogs as a feature on their blogs. Why not? It’s not hard to do. I don’t get this.

-You’d be surprised at how many bloggers don’t respond to or even acknowledge the comments they get. I don’t get this either, and from comments from other folks, I am certainly not the only person who finds this……...um…...rude?

-While money may make the ‘world go ‘round’, if it is the primary reason behind a blog, it results in an obvious emphasis on selling rather than interacting. The blogs I have seen that are selling goods or services as their primary goal rarely link any non-commercial blog…………. if any at all. I have nothing against a person’s entrepreneurship, but have learned long ago that regardless of the subject….whether it’s an exchange of goods, services….sexual or otherwise...but definitely with the sexual for sure, or even bets on games…...money DOES change things. A blogger blogging as advertising is at the end of the day…and in the cynical assessment of Wesley as the Dread Pirate Roberts......selling something.


-I am also very saddened by a trend I tried to poke fun at in my post Friday. I created a “Tit for Tat Fund” as a satirical way to highlight the rampant lack of reciprocation when it comes to participation. If someone comments on your blog, maybe not every day but not just once either. Perhaps once or twice a month, let’s say, and they have a blog, which you might very well even have linked, why would you never leave a comment for them? And by “never” I mean “never”, like not once in an entire year? For me at least, some of this changed Friday with a few very fine folks that I would be very pleased to have comment more freely and frequently. The question going forward of course is whether or not this happens.

This is a "Tit for Tat" model which shows how different the act of operating on a quid pro quo basis can be. I would like to think my main emphasis is the cooperative one, but I know that when I feel hurt or slighted the retaliatory aspect is very appealing. However, I am not one to hold a grudge and if someone tries to make amends, the forgiving aspect is easily triggered.

Anyway, I think I am going to state a few resolutions for me and Collected Submissions going forward. Some are reaffirmations of practices I have long tried to adhere to, and some are new:

-Getting a link on my blog will require one of two things: a reciprocal link, and/or participation at Collected Submissions. Meaning if someone links me but doesn’t participate, I will STILL politely link them in return, and if someone participates here but doesn’t have a blog list on their own site, they will still be linked by me. Naturally someone who does both is guaranteed a special place at Collected Submissions.

(Edited due to Fondles' qualifier that prompted me to be frank about my own.) EXCEPTIONS: I will delete a linked blog even if they link me, IF I read something there that I think is either dangerous, or promotes a view, not merely DIFFERENT from mine, but which I find truly abhorrent, OR.....IF SOMEONE REALLY PISSES ME OFF! I realize this is a subjective thing, but I have done it. However, I censor reluctantly, and to prove this point, I will add that while I HAVE done this, I only did each type of deletion once.)

-I may begin to withdraw my participation from places where the blog owner simply avoids any participation here at all. I am not so petty that this exchange needs to be a one-for-one tit for tat. No. I would be quite content to participate in a situation where even if I am commenting regularly, the owner at least manages a monthly comment on a topic that they find more to their taste. While I can understand not everything here being of interest to everyone, I DO raise an eyebrow to the notion that nothing here in the course of an entire month, given how diverse the topics are, could prompt some sort of response. ( I have not only visited, commented on, and added the links to a few new blogs, BUT inexplicably have not yet seen a single reciprocal comment here. These are in my mind now as "test cases" for this new resolution. For now, I am going to wait and see, but if this continues too long? Well, I can pretty much guarantee that MY participation at their places won't.)

-I try ......hard actually.....to live by my own standard, BUT, I am fallible, SO....if you have my blog linked and I somehow missed linking yours? TELL ME! If you comment here, and have a blog which I never visit? TELL ME! And if you left a comment here that went unrecognized, with no reply from me? TELL ME! (There are a few reasons this might happen, BUT 'intentionally ignoring a comment' I guarantee, is NEVER one of them.)

And now for all those who have been patient enough to read all this even though they themselves are not guilty of any of it.....a little eye candy reward:

A tit WITH a tat.....

.....and some tit for TASSLES.






Friday, November 19, 2021

LOL & the 2021 Spooners

 


Welcome one and all to "Love Our Lifestyle"-Day! If you are new here, please enjoy a warm welcome, and if you are a long-time lurker........well........we'll get to you later. Please know that if you comment here, you will be honored next year at this time with our recognition for participation award.....The Wooden Spoon (or Spooner). My goal here is, and always has been, participation among thinking practitioners of "Our Lifestyle". Participation means insights, experience, and reactions of agreement OR disagreement. Compliments are nice, and they will get you a 'thank you', but they are not my main focus when it comes to comments. 

Read. Think. React. Share. That's what keeps a conversation lively.  If your intent is merely wank-fodder, I'm afraid you'll struggle for material here.

Be warned though, there are plenty of things even a kinky person may not like about "Collected Submissions". For one thing we are not 100% kink. Topics here are varied. Of course kink is a go-to favorite, but it is not the sole subject of this blog. And we explore the whole arena of kink, not just one thing...even things I have no personal desire to do, but just little exposes of what's out there. As such, there might well be things we'll discuss that won't appeal to you.

I also enjoy humor.....but my sense of it may not be the same as yours. AND.....I will tackle both of the 'polite untouchables' of politics and religion. But I don't expect fawning agreement. A lively discussion with someone with a differing opinion is what I am seeking by posting such topics. So, that's what we're about. 

Now......onto the awards!

Proof that people LOVE awards!

For those of you who know all about Collected Submissions and participate as often as the mood strikes.............


.....................it's time to announce the WOODEN SPOON winners!

Naturally, family and friends first: Ana & Nickki! Congratulations. You two are devilish angels....not only contributing comments, but contributing to my actual lifestyle experiences and giving me plenty to write about!

Next it's time for those I consider 'the regulars'....some of whom are new as of this year. My warmest thanks and a nice hefty Spooner to:

(in no particular order, so please don't read into who's first and who's last. I got the names from the Blogger comment record, so they are kind of random as they appeared.)

Prefectdt, Mrs. Fever, Courandair, Fondles, Glenmore, Erica Scott, Hermione, Sissy Snow, Merry, QBuzz, Mr.BillSails, Crimson Kid, Alan, Joe, Jack, CK, Shilo, willie, Marie Rebelle, ZM, bobmski, Max, and Tomy.

(A round of applause please.)

The  next tier of awards go to participants who have either kind of moved on, or left only a few, or just a single comment. They may not be regulars, but still all qualify for a Spooner regardless! 

Dan, Julie, morningstar, BIKKS, Lurker48, Brett, Jhakov Daly, Redtail, TigerWolf, Wallace, Tursiops truncatus, gentbb, Sexual Charms, The CuratorXXX, Rich Person, Midwest Reader, Observer, & Justaguy. ( If you commented between the last awards and these and your name does not appear, I am sorry. I tried to list everyone, but it's possible if you posted anonymously that I may have missed you. If I have let me know and I'll amend the list!)

(A round of applause please.)

And now a few new features. This next one is not so much an award as an official shout-out to those above who seem to have gone missing. I DO know why some folks are no longer here but not all. If you are on the milk carton below and can get to a safe place to respond, please check in. We miss you! (And if there's a REASON you no longer visit that might be........unpleasant........... to air here, please use the contact feature to email me.)

Has anyone seen.......

Fondles, Merry, Joe, Jhakov, CK, ZM, or Shilo? I'm hoping your current absence is temporary.

Next up, in memory of Stan Laurel & Oliver Hardy, we have established the Tit For Tat Grant which will study the reasons why seemingly nice fellow bloggers will encourage participation on their own blogs but not comment on the blogs of the very people who comment on theirs. Hopefully this grant will result in some answers to this perplexing question that we can then publish here at a later date.



And lastly............ to those long time lurkers I mentioned earlier and promised to get to eventually? I didn't forget you. This award is for you, for being able to come here over the course of an entire year and yet offer nothing of substance:

 Nonparticipation is no way to "Love (Y)our Lifestyle".


Thursday, November 18, 2021

Preventive spanks

This past weekend Rosa and I went with a friend on an outing which included a stop at a winery, a farmer's market that also sold their own hard cider, and then onto dinner at a Thai place we had never been to since the place we wanted to go to had permanently closed. (It was the oldest microbrewery in NJ, specializing in English pub fare....and now it's gone.) All between these adventures, we delighted in the Fall scenery at the peak of its color palette.

Rosa will occasionally employ a strategy of 'preventive spanking' to ensure that I behave according to her wishes when going somewhere with others. Last weekend she certainly did and what made it particularly effective was the fact that it was more of a 'switching' than a paddling BUT came after an earlier paddling.

I think everyone is getting tired of seeing MY tired old ass, so here are some fresh 'faces' to illustrate.

The earlier paddling was actually my suggestion, but one with which Rosa quickly agreed. It had been a while since we last engaged in some smacking, so I was way out of practice and really wriggled through the first part. So much so, that after contented, she said I could get up, but huffing and puffing, I assured her that all I needed was a breather, and she could continue if she liked.

She liked.

"Part 2" was a typical "Rosa Roaster" and I ended up getting around 350 hard smacks. At least by then I was able to take them more calmly, even as I could feel the burn build. When done, I was swollen and pink, which she remarked about, and I soon went about kissing some happy, dominant toes in a very mushy frame of mind.

We then went about getting some things done before heading out on a day trip with a friend. Rosa decided she wanted to do her preventive with our White Lightning Switch just before leaving .............and that's just what she did.......and BOY did she let me have it, lecturing me on her expectations throughout! That switch is very nasty and I was surprised at how hard she was striking and how long the preventive went on, but Rosa was obviously trying to make a genuine point about the day she wished to have and what aspects of my behavior she did not want to experience.

When done Rosa told me that my butt was the reddest she's seen in a long time, BUT....................we had a great day...................and I was a VERY good boy!


Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Ergonomic Atheism



So Michael Flynn thinks we should have just one national religion and I think that’s a great idea. As an atheist I now have to provide arguments against a plethora of religions, but if there was just one, think of how much simpler my opposition would be! No more having to keep the diverse and intricate network of bizarre beliefs from a kaleidoscope of delusions going back millennia, straight in my head. Just one fairytale to refute and I can save the rest of my mental energy for new cocktail recipes. Go, Flynn!


The only problem I see with this proposal though is if America is just going to have one religion, which one should it be? When I hear people like Flynn talk, their ideologies sound frighteningly close to Radical Islam and yet these folks are clearly anti-Muslim in their views, so that's out. No, they ironically claim Christianity as their religion, so I guess we should look there. (Sorry Jews, It looks like you’re on the shit end of the stick once more. Catholics too. Because, as I’ve been assuredly told by several well-meaning and serious Protestants in the past, ‘Catholics aren’t Christians.')

However, once we turn to Protestantism, there are just so freakin’ many flavors!  Protestantism is like the Baskin-Robbins of belief. How do we settle on just one? Maybe Flynn should just start a new religion? He can even enlist Mike Lindell to help. Maybe they can find something that really works for their base? My suggestion would be Militapillowism (Mil-it-tah-PIL-ow-iz-em). It would basically be a belief system that recognizes Donald Trump, not as a modern-day Messiah, but as god himself, here on earth. Of course this means getting rid of Jesus, but come one, let's face it......his words really make it hard for Christians to pursue their agendas in the manner they like. Why not just go with someone who advocates what you're thinking deep down instead of trying to justify the contradictions?

As good a reason to not believe in a god of any kind as I've ever seen.

Followers would obey whatever he says and force their god’s will on everyone around them.  True believers would do this zealously, taking up arms to spread the Good Word (Trump has always said, “I know words. I have the best words.”--Book of Trump, Chapter 2:verse 5 ). If, in the course of firing their converted-to-fully-automatic AR-15’s at the unconverted opposition, they die by the hand of their enemies, then their souls would be promised an eternity of blissful rest…...on a REALLY comfortable pillow

Supposedly like this one.

Now some of you might be thinking this will never happen because true Christians would never take up a false god for fear of their souls. Well, sorry, but I'm laughing too hard to even formulate a response to THAT misconception. And if you're thinking true Christians would never take up arms against those who disagree with them because that's not what Jesus preached, well, my cachinnation has now resulted in coffee spewing through my nose. Still others might discount the National Religion proposal since the Constitution forbids it. Well…………. thee of short memory………….all you need is for Trump to win in 2024……after Republicans, no scratch that, TRUMPlicans take the House and Senate in 2022 (There aren't enough Republicans left to win ANYTHING in 2022 but plenty of Trumplicans)…..which is more likely than far-fetched…..and where the hell do you think that pesky Constitution-thing is going? It will be replaced by The Book of Trump, (Best words edition)

All the best words are on the inside, sometimes even strung together in semi-coherent runs that resemble rudimentary sentences.

Me? Well I never got to see in real life lemmings jumping en masse from cliffs into the sea, and since that turned out to be a myth perpetuated by Disney staging the event for a documentary (“DISCLAIMER/SPOILER ALERT: Many lemmings were indeed injured in the making of this film.) I doubt I’ll ever have the chance. 


The sick part of me would have really liked to have seen something like that. But since I can’t, I’ll settle for watching people vote for Trump en masse in 2024 followed by his televised inauguration…..no scratch that….DEIFICATION. Maybe I should consider marketing “End Times Popcorn” for people like me who are tired of arguing with people like Flynn and Lindell, and just have decided to watch it all burn? 

You don't even need an air-popper or a microwave! 
Just put the bucket of kernels on your lap and listen to them pop as your outrage intensifies!
Then, as that great popcorn/butter smell wafts up and soothes you, relax and munch away as the world goes to shit around you. 



Friday, November 12, 2021

Mushroom diversity



Around Columbus Day Rosa and I went camping for a few days and were amazed to find a veritable outbreak of fruiting mushrooms of many varieties almost everywhere we went. Between us, we must have taken over 75 shots which I have since logged on a zip drive and have started to identify. With so many varieties and so many features to consider, while some species are quite unique, many can be tough to precisely identify just on a photo alone. A few shots we took were interesting enough to make for a good photo as opposed to mere visual record. Here's one favorite:


But readers here probably know that "mushrooms" for us, is also a pet name for toes. Another thing I am quite fond of.

One of my favorite shots of Rosa's "mushrooms".

It occurred to me that "mushroom(s)"  is a word that manifests itself in quite a few ways for me....and for others. So today, I am going to take you all on a virtual hike around quite a diverse collection of mushroom expressions all sprouting as plentifully as the actual ones were for Rosa and me. And I'll try to keep it mostly kinky. LOL

What is it about mushrooms and video  games?  One of my old favorites was Pikmin and in it there were not only mushrooms but creatures who looked like them.

And what about Toad from Mario Bros. games?


And why is it in the world of Rule 34, even Princess Peach gets her own mushroom connection?

both from the front......

......and back!

Pervy mushroom drawings abound. Here's one that doesn't hold back:


And here's one where mushrooms make an ideal insertible......

.........and why not? We all know what mushrooms remind us of.

This certainly happened to me several years ago when I was between relationships and playing with an online friend. In the course of some photo exchanges and in even meeting once in person, it became obvious that my humble endowments had a way of becoming even more exaggerated when in the throes of submission. It's a topic I've dealt with here many times, and one that made it into a short story of mine that was loosely based on some real events strung together with fictional cohesion. LINK for "The Mushroom Effect".

This person nicknamed me "'shroom" and it stuck for a while. This mixed still life explains why. 

And let's not forget that one can actually eat mushrooms.....well not all, but several. Others will kill you and there's even a type of mushroom that you can eat.........as long as you don't drink alcohol! As a kid I hated mushrooms but now I can't find a single variety I don't enjoy. My favorite is portobello......baked with balsamic vinegar and a sprinkle of seasoned bread crumbs.

Yummy!

And what about mushrooms with toasted buns?

Easy enough to cook, but BOY......sitting down to enjoy it? That's a very different story! 

Here's another take on spanking and mushrooms:

I have no idea what's going on here, but I kind of like it.



So what ways do you enjoy "mushrooms"?
































Wednesday, November 10, 2021

The New LOL-Day

I knew it was coming and.......as always, I was dreading the uncomfortable inner struggle that would once again rage inside of me. Picture a lycanthrope reading that the full moon will fall on November 19th............which, get this, IT WILL. 

I knew that part of me would want to be supportive of my fellow blogger-friends, but I also knew that date would inevitably bring on the madnessBut like an angel of mercy, Hermione came rushing to my Remus Lupin (who would certainly be my Harry Potter persona without doubt) with some fresh mariphasa, no doubt growing in Prof. Sprout's nursery. Without it, I would potentially descend into a rage over the upsetting ranks of blog visitors who never interact and rant at their callousness.


But Hermione's mariphasa is just a metaphor. She really flushed away all that angst with a simple shift in emphasis: switch the second 'L' in "LOL" from 'lurker' to 'lifestyle' and, like turning the full moon into a deflating balloon, my inner tempest waned.

So, I will encourage those out there who love our lifestyle to keep on loving and sharing it. Visit, comment, participate, enjoy.

But given the history of my blog with the old lurker theme, for Collected Submissions, LOL Day would not be the same without the Wooden Spoon Awards, and they will still go on as always. (to newcomers, the Wooden Spoon is awarded to EVERY person who left at least ONE comment through the period between last November and this November. Naturally those who comment more frequently are recognized more warmly than one-offs, but even a one-off is better than none, and dead silence is what the Spooners try to discourage.)

The coveted "Spooner" in all of its glory.
(No need to rent a tux or buy a gown.)

Naturally the Spooners will be announced on November 19th as well. This year there will also be two other features, but those are surprises. 

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Looking back this has been a strange and eventful year for 'Collected Submissions'. It began with me getting hospitalized for Covid and consequently adopting some new approaches to life and this blog. The year also saw old friendships pass, new ones begin, and even begin and end in a short, disappointing whirlwind.  We have gained some great new people, kept some great old regulars, and sadly seem to have witnessed several more go missing.

The rigors of the real world also seem to have taken a toll on certain regulars who just don't appear to have the time or heart to post like they used to. That's always sad and yet knowing the why does make it easier to accept than when someone goes absent and the reasons elude scrutiny. 

But one of my Covid-induced personal changes was a brutal honesty with myself over blogging. While interaction has always been my goal, that desired salon atmosphere continues to sputter rather than thrive and I've come to just accept it as the way of things. Rather than lament what could be, I now tend to appreciate what is......which, given the character and intelligence of our participants here, ain't bad. LOL 

That evaluation of my blogging motive also clarified my own enjoyment of just doing this. At the same time, I grew more comfortable with the notion of not posting when I didn't feel like it. In years past, I often forced myself to churn out posts even when I didn't feel motivated as some obligation. I no longer feel obligated and curiously, that elimination of having to actually resulted in an increase in me wanting to. 

So, even without Hermione's intervention, the anger that used to taint LOL Day for me in the past has fizzled a bit on its own. Add to that the change in emphasis, and well.......what's there to complain about? Let the countdown to November 19th begin.......full moon be damned!